


You Raise Me Up

by CatherineFox



Category: Ylvis
Genre: F/M, Friendship, Love, Romance, University
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-08
Updated: 2017-10-01
Packaged: 2018-03-11 03:49:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 139,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3312800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CatherineFox/pseuds/CatherineFox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She is a student, he is a professor. She is alone and so is he. She knows nobody, but no one knows him for who he really is. Will they help one another and will they find joy at last?<br/>The story is not in any way related to the actual lives of the Ylvis brothers and it is mere fanfiction, which is my way of respecting both theirs and their families privacy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Catherine: Departure

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, reader!  
> First of all, I would like to mention that this is my very first fanfiction. Secondly, I would like to state that English is not my native tongue, which means that mistakes are bound to appear.  
> I do hope, however, that you bare with me as I try to do my best. Any kind of feedback is more than welcome, so feel free to comment.  
> Thank you in advance and enjoy...

It was the tenth time my mother knocked on the door in the last half hour. She was really persistent, I have to give her that. I could understand her perfectly, to speak the truth. I could even predict the expression on her face. Indeed, I knew my mother well. As soon as she stepped into the room I realized that my prediction was correct. Her look had the same mix of sadness and anguish that every mother would have when her child is being torn away from her in a period of approximately ten months. My room was a complete mess like always, only this time around, mum didn't seem to mind so much. In fact I don't think she even noticed it. Her gaze was fixed on my face with such precision that made my heart skip a beat. I looked away briskly, afraid that the sight would bring tears to my eyes. There has been a lot of those in the last few days. I just never cried in front of her—she had enough of her own worries already as it is. Hidden in my room, I would place my face on a pillow and just sob quietly, hoping the sounds would be muffled enough for anyone to notice. But not in front of mum. I could not bear to do that to her. She has suffered enough and she was taking it far too hard already. Her voice cut my line of thoughts:  
  
"Are you nearly finished?"  
  
"Yes, mum." I patiently replied for who knows which time.  
  
"Because your plane leaves in nearly..."  
  
"Four hours." I whispered after interrupting her softly. I felt so crushed to hear the trembling sound of her voice. She was falling apart and although she said nothing of it, I knew that was the case. Her wish was to avoid ruining my trip no matter what it took, and she stuck to it with her best efforts. I knew that as soon as I was gone, she would give in to those taut feelings. I wouldn't feel good, if I didn't try to comfort her somehow. Along the way, of course, I could maybe even somehow ease my own worried mind. We worked that way, mum and me.  
  
I turned towards her, looking her straight in the eyes and said: "Mum, you know, you don't have to worry or anything." I meant to continue. However I was not allowed, since my mum interjected, saying softly: "I can't not worry, Katie. I am a mother. It basically means that it is my profession to worry. Do you see what I mean?" A gentle smile played with her lips.  
  
I sighed. "Yeah I do. It's just... You know that I am responsible and I will call all the time. I promise. Besides it is not the end of the world. It is just Norway,” I kept on rambling, but my words did not quite reach her. Worry furrowed her eyebrows and it was my job to fix it, but I didn’t know how. “And I will be in a family, so I will have supervision," I added with a faint smile, as I nothing better would come to my mind.  
  
She just shook her hair slowly, again with those sad eyes. "And you think Norway is close enough for me? Katie..."  
  
"Mum, we talked about this. It is my chance to learn more and expand my horizons. Meeting new people is bound to happen and maybe I will even meet friends that who will like me for who I am and not for what I know.” She nodded her agreement, and I was well aware she knew all of this. “I thought you wanted me to go," I carried on, my voice barely a whisper.  
  
At these last words she lowered her head, looking at the carpet. I knelt a bit to meet her gaze. And I saw what was expected. Tears. Tears that managed to tear my heart, pierce through my soul. Oh, how much it hurt. No words could express that feeling, not even the heavy, shaky breath that escaped my lips involuntarily. "What is going on now?" I needed to know.  
  
"Well, I uhm... Nothing..." The reply did not resemble confidence in any way. It was a nice attempt to pass the situation as if everything was perfect, and I genuinely believe that she would have fooled a stranger. Someone that didn't know her would have bought it, but not me. I knew her all too well. Every expression, every move and every tone in her voice. And her tone was a compilation of so many things. Confusion, weakness, difficulty; but mainly sorrow. Sorrow, that I very well mirrored, itched to suppress, and yet failed with every attempt. I had to further pursue my enquiry and just find what was hidden inside my mother's heart.  
  
"Mum, I know you far too well. White lies won't do. You can't fool me no matter how much you try. Therefore—elaborate!" I demanded quite teasingly, although it all sounded wrong.  
  
I was left without any reply. Nothing was being said. Her hesitation was bothering me more than what I would have supposed. I just wanted to know the source of such anxiety. In addition I just wanted to hug her, tightly, and just freeze that moment and live through it forever. I took a step closer and as I did I embraced her, my chin reaching to her ears. I was on heels and therefore as a consequence I was taller, which for a moment made me feel as if our situations are reversed. But only for a moment. When, that instant passed, a tear escaped my lashes. I hurried to ask the question again, before my voice got all shaky, something I in no way wished for my mother to notice.  
  
"So, what's wrong?" I prompted, because she clearly had no intention to begin talking on her own.  
  
My mother stepped out of the hug, placed her hands on my neck fondling my left cheek with her thumb, gazed straight in my eyes and sighed. After almost a minute of silence, which I estimated that her motherly heart required, she softly said: "My little girl is all grown up. What will Fred and I do without your companionship?"  
  
Until she mentioned it, I realized I had entirely forgotten about my brother. He was still locked up in his room, protesting against my leaving home for such a long time. I tried to reach to him, make him talk to me. However I wasn't charming enough for him in the last few days since I found out that I was accepted to go in Norway. I knew that he would eventually come out, but I honestly did not expect him to stay consistent until the very last minute.  
  
My mum continued, after a short pause: "And I wish your dad was here to see this moment."  
  
"Oh, mummy..." I said, throwing myself in yet another hug. I just needed her strong embrace right now. So, I wrapped my hands around her and squeezed as much as my as my power would allow. Another tear reached my lips. I took my tongue out and collected it. The salty taste in my mouth was nearly the same as the bitter one in this situation. I didn't know whether my object was to make my mother feel better or whether I was trying to comfort myself. Going to a place where I knew nobody and was not familiar with the language didn't strike me as such a great idea as it initially appeared to be. Not at all in this very moment, actually. It actually appeared quite bizarre right then and there. This thought made my heart pound so much that I originally believed it was about to burst out of my chest and bring all hell down on me. And God was my witness that I wouldn't have had the strength to live through yet another hellish devastation. I lowered myself only barely so I could whisper in her ear: "I wish he were here too."  
  
My mum moved away a tread and replied: "He would have been so proud of you and I am sure he would have been so sad to see you leave at the same time." A smile played on my mother's lips and her eyes lit up with the same spark of fire that was always present when she talked of dad. I joined her as my lips slightly moved in a smirk.  
  
"I think that he would just laugh through this entire day, walking up and down the house whistling a tune."  
  
"I don't doubt that. I am sure he would." My mom replied through tears, which were now starting to flow down her cheeks. "But deep within, he would still be extremely sad."  
  
After another heart-warming hug I started to fear that I could no longer avoid joining her, and wanted to have mum out of the room before allowing myself to cry. I saw the opportunity in asking her to provide a ride to the airport so I took it.  
  
"Mum, maybe you should go down and call the cab. I am nearly ready and don't want to be late. It would take some time to pass through all the needed checks." I could have driven us there, but I couldn't sit in the car after what happened to dad. As those bad memories arose in my mind, I did my best to push them away.  
  
"Yeah, I should do that." My mum repeated it a few times, more to herself, rather than to me. As if she was trying to convince herself to do it. As she moved towards the door she uttered: "I will miss you, Katie."  
  
My look was fixed on her as she took her steps out of the room. My breaths fastened and my throat started to tighten and I felt as if something was stuck inside, not allowing me to breathe. I noticed my reflection in the mirror and realized I was turning pale. "Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold." I kept repeating those words to myself, trying to revive my color a bit. But, it wasn't just allowed. Since every little bad moment now came crushing down on my shoulders, I kept feeling worse with every new second. "Come on, just be positive. It will be fine. Calm down. Deep breaths."  
  
A knock on the door of my room forced me to forget the disgust I felt and to focus on regulating the dizziness. Deep breaths always seemed to help me in situations as this one. However, now they were helpless against the tyrant that was taking over my senses, making my head blurry and thoughts disorganized. I sat down on my bed, just to feel a little bit more secure and to minimize the chances of fainting and freaking the hell out of my family.  
  
A few seconds after the knock my little brother walked in the room, without awaiting the permission from me. His face was all red and his eyes had the traces of a sleepless night. He was probably crying throughout the entire evening. I couldn't say that my night was any better, but at least the little make up I had, covered up the red eyes and neutralized my drowsy expression. Fred ran towards me spreading his arms and reaching for a hug from his big sister without even a fluctuation. His entire happiness was now dependent on this hug. He wouldn’t feel good because of his behavior during these last few days, if this didn’t happen to be the best possible hug that we have ever shared. Therefore despite the feeling of nausea that was now overtaking my entire being, I returned with the same strength. However I didn’t stop at that. When our cuddling was broken I kissed his forehead and said: “Fred, I have a thing or two to charge you with. Do you want to hear them?”  
  
He was puzzled at my words, but nevertheless he gave me the affirmative answer I was seeking. My encouragement raised and I was persuaded that I could make him promise me nearly anything now, so that later I could hold him on that promise: “You will be a good boy, right? And please take care of mum. She will need you next to her more than ever. However do not look at this as an opportunity to neglect school. Continue to study hard and keep up with the good grades. It will make me very happy and satisfied. And in return I swear that I will always be there for you. That we will be constantly in touch and that you will always be able to reach me. Do we have a deal, young man?” I knew that he didn’t like the part about helping out, so he paused to think about it as if he was on the verge of signing the most important deal of his life. After a careful consideration of all the elements in my suggestion, he concluded that he would love to help mum out in everything, as long as I was reachable constantly. We agreed and the bargain was signed.  
  
The cabby who was honking the horn in front of the house was insinuating that it was time to proceed to hardest part – the leaving. I picked up my purse that contained the essential necessities for my trip, including the passport and the plane ticket as well. In addition I took the laptop bag with my computer inside; since I couldn’t work without it, seeing that every single one of my projects and even the schedule were on it. And the last but not least, I took my suitcase, which was filled with everything me and my mum could think of as a requirement. I headed downstairs with my luggage and Fred suggested a one last race to the front door. I agreed with a happy grin. He, of course, reached his destination before me. It was understandable, since the only weight he was carrying was his own. My suitcase hit the floor of the hall in our house, when mum came out of the kitchen, wiping the tears off her face.  
  
“Mum…” I sarcastically said “If you are planning to continue like this for the next ten months I might as well stay at home. I will be available constantly and Fred promised me a week ago that we will see each other through Skype or something. Have we agreed on this? Will you solemnly swear not to cry anymore?”  
  
“Fine, Katie. We are agreed.” She confirmed through a tiny smile, making me feel a little bit calmer. The cabby honked on the horn once again and we walked out.  
  
While the driver was placing my suitcase in the trunk of the cab, mum locked the door of the house. Fred, however, was an entirely different story. He just wanted to be fast enough to manage to grab the seat next to the driver. Mum and I were left to sit on the back seat. As soon as the cabby took his position I addressed him, saying: “Heathrow airport.” The two words that decided my future.  
  
The car started to make its way through the foggy part of London. The last thing I recall was that I registered my mother placing her hand on top of mine holding to it quite tightly. I moved to respond to her grip. The rest of the drive to the airport remained blurry. I blankly recall all the streets we went through. Streets that I have seen thousand times before and knew by heart, now seemed unfamiliar and far away. The pressure in my mind and the horrible feeling in my heart made me drift away in a complexity of thoughts that were throwing me far from reality. It was the sense of departure that had me so sick and nervous not only some minutes ago, but in the last few days as well. Going to another country was getting the better of my nerves. The thought of a little bit of adventure I craved, however the idea of loneliness had me realize that this plan was one of the silliest I have ever made and fulfilled. It is not as if I was never lonely. I have been like that most of my life. No friends or fun outside of my family. My best friend were my parents and the best entertainment my brother. I have never connected with many people. It was impossible when everyone was looking at me as a source of information and help; and not who I was. Being a hypocritical when it came to those that behaved like that toward me just wasn’t my forte, so I stayed friendless for most of my school years. Still being on my own while being torn away from my family was something that I couldn’t bare or understand all together. It seemed that I could bare anything really. Except being parted from my mum and my little brother. This line of thinking lead me towards some memories that now appeared to be priceless; albeit they used to be just ordinary and maybe somewhat painful.  
  
***   
  
It happened five years ago, only months before dad left us. It was a sunny Saturday afternoon, when dad interrupted my studies, by walking into the room. I heard him call me “Kitty cat”, as he always did and then he just added: “Sorry, but am I disturbing?” He always asked that question even though he knew very well that the reply was never going to be a no. Nothing dad ever did could disturb anybody. He was always doing his best to help as much as he could, ease the pain and cheer everyone up. He had a smile on his face, day and night, no matter the circumstances or the moment. Always positive. Always kind and generous. There for everyone. I couldn’t help but look up to him.  
  
Back than I had only a page or two left for studying, so the interruption was not unwelcome. I had done most of the work I had that morning, so I thought to myself that a break would be great for both my mind and my body. As much as I was tired of the books, the pain that I felt in my body exceeded every exhaustion. I told my dad that he was not disturbing me at all. So he stepped into the room, leaving the door open, still holding onto its knob. A smile had taken over his features. Than he suggested the best possible idea that could relax me:  
  
“Want to play catch with your old man?”  
  
“I’d love to.” I replied enthusiastically. “I will be outside in a minute.”  
  
“We are waiting for you.” He smirked and left, closing the door behind him, before I could ask him who ‘we’ was. I looked outside the window and I thought I would see someone, but our driveway was empty and I heard no doorbell, so there was no way that we had guests. I was puzzled at my fathers’ words, so I hurried outside. Nothing was happening and my dad was nowhere to be seen. The noise and the giggle that was coming from the garage informed me where I could locate the gentleman that was trying to hide. At opening the garage door, I realized that father had some back up. Fred was seven years old then and that suited the childish behavior that a father would appropriate from time to time. Both of them were awaiting my arrival with a silly smile on their faces and water guns in their hands. What followed was not appropriate for me.  
  
I know that when they were done playing games I was soaking wet and a bit disappointed by my dad. I never expected that from him, and I knew that this idea was initialized by Fred. I was not speaking to either one of them for a week or so, just to tease them and their attempts to make me forgive them were silly. The apology at the end was made with a chocolate cake on the counter in the kitchen with my name on it. At least the chocolate cake compensated for the cold I was fighting for three days after the event. But nothing made me feel better than my father’s hug. It was the best cure and the only one I needed.  
  
***   
  
I needed him right now. To calm me down, to make me smile and convince me that despite everything else this will all turn out perfectly. To give me his blessing along with my mum. To hug her as I pass through the gate to board my plane. To smile to me as if nothing was gone and as if…  
  
The driver was pulling over in front of the entrance of the airport, pulling me away from the pain I was starting to feel. I sighed and stepped out of the car, as soon as my mum released my hand. I paid the guy, leaving him a modest tip and he began his way onto the next customer.  
  
We walked in the airport, my mother holding my waist and my brother was walking next to us, his eyebrows furrowed. Timed seemed to fly when we were inside. The conversation could cease. It was as if at that moment all the things we never said to one another found their way to our lips. The couple of hours we had passed faster than expected and in no time we heard the announcement that it was the last call for boarding the 3:35 flight to Norway. They walked me up to the gate, we hugged one more time and this round was more painful than any other. I warned them: “Remember what you said. No crying. I love you both and I will call as soon as I land. And few times every day after that.” My brother said nothing further and neither did mum. No elaboration was needed. The looks we shared spoke beyond words. They showed the happiness and the pain, the confusion and the clarity. They showed the path to our hearts and the fact that we would miss each other entirely. I was not boarding my handbag and the laptop in my hands. The suitcase was already on its way to the plane; I had to leave it when I checked in. Before I turned around the corner to enter the plane, I looked at them once again waving for the last time. I felt a warm tear on my cheek rolling down my chin powered by the gravity.  
  
I took my seat and set myself comfortably. Now that I was in the plane I calculated that in less than three hours the 751 miles of distance should be passed and I will arrive in Oslo. I fastened my seat-belt, shut down my phone and after that everything went black. The lack of sleep finally got to me.  
  
“Miss, miss… We arrived…” Some unfamiliar voice was travelling through the hallways of my mind, trying to reach to me and wake me up. I opened my eyes and there was the stewardess trying to make me pay some attention to her words. I rubbed my eyes, unlocking the belt and slowly began to pick up my things.  
  
After I stepped out on the cold Norwegian air, I turned my phone on in order to call my mother. I smiled at the fact that my sleepiness was slowly evaporating. And then 9 calls, while I was on the plane. “Oh, mum” I thought, while the wind gathered up my hair. No one could see my tears, which started flowing in an instant. The ring of the phone was brief, because my mum was probably standing next to it waiting for me to call. She picked it up with a questionable tone: “Katie?”  
  
I smiled and then just said: “I arrived safe and sound mum…”


	2. Bård: Loneliness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the second chapter of the story and it is going to be told through Bård's point of view. The chapters will change in between Catherine's and Bård's narative.  
> Again, this is pure fiction and it is in no way related to Bård Ylvisåker's life.  
> Enjoy...

I threw the pencil on the table and simultaneously jumped out of my chair. It was far too much and it was making me irritated. Driving me crazy even… Annoying me to the last nerve cell in my body. “It is enough for tonight. No more exams and no more of this shit.” I thought to myself, while running my hand through my hair which by now was a mess, and thus my fingers tangled in it unavoidably. I did that when I was on edge, and certainly, tonight I did it quite often. Therefore it was more than obvious that I needed a break and I could feel that sensation throughout my entire body. The fact that I just got pissed over a blank page from a random student that couldn’t answer my question at the exam; was saying more than enough about my state.  
  
I looked at the clock that was over the mantelpiece in my living room. Jesus, I have been working on this for more than ten hours. No wonder it was nerve-wrecking. Surely, it was not such a surprise considering that I spent the entire day checking exams, the same exercises over and over again, correcting mistakes and adding up points. The worst of this entire situation is that it was only the beginning. The exam session for September just ended and these were the first forty notebooks from the pile of five hundred that laid on my desk, the majority of them untouched. Only a week to go through them all and I dreaded it already. Man, if I continue continue in this pace — which I have to in order to finish them in time — I will go crazy.  
  
Pacing down the room back and forth, I was considering which object to throw against the wall in my rage. But, instead my more rational half took over, so I made up my mind to go for a walk. But with whom? My brother was probably at home watching his wife tucking their kids in before going to bed or maybe he was already tucked in bed in his wife himself. I just couldn’t call him at this late time. Couldn’t call my parents either, since they had a tendency to worry about me constantly, like any other parent I suppose. Even though I was a grown up person, perfectly capable of taking care of myself. I couldn’t disturb their peace. They were surely at home, laughing over some silly thing. Maybe dad lost his glasses behind the sofa again or mum ruined some sock trying to sow it back to its original state. And besides, the very fact that I even considered calling my parents screamed desperation.  
  
And me? Damn it, I was all alone since my ex-girlfriend dumped me for, in her opinion which she cheerfully shared with me, someone less boring. Someone who apparently was there for her all the time and who cared more about her needs and as it would seem whims, rather than their job. Only she forgot to share one thing, which was the job she minded more. I never found out whether she referred to the summer season talk show or my work at the university. I moved along soon after that and I knew I could never love or be with somebody who cannot accept me for who I am. Rather, I promised myself I would never allow such a thing to happen. But despite these thoughts, I have to admit that I was desperately in need of a lady’s smile.  
  
My brain started collapsing because of its need of fresh air, so I grabbed my leather jacket from the hook in the hallway and since the keys were in my left pocket, I exited the house and locked the door behind me. I left my phone inside, but I had no intention to go back in so that I could take it. Whichever disturbance it might bring along wasn’t welcome. Who would call me, anyway? It there was anyone who’d enjoy my company in this late hour, I would have definitely thought to call them up myself. The weather outside was somewhat chilly, entirely not for just a thinly jacket; but not unsupportable so I climbed down the stairs. Like all the people in Norway, I was used to the cold, piercing air as well. Besides even though the weather was not exactly for a spring jacket, I didn’t go back to change it being aware and rather hoping that I would have my senses frozen. At the present it was kind of a requirement.  
  
I had no idea where I was going. I had nothing fixed, and therefore I was walking through the streets entirely unaware of their appearance. I just realized that I was slowly relaxing as I wondered in the night like a man without a home. And was I more? Not really… I had no home, no one to go back to – my entire life was now the university and communicating to my family from time to time. My everyday life turned into sleeping, going to work and back, staring at the TV screen persistently hoping that it would keep me company, calling on my family for a casual lunch and back to sleeping once again. It was just waste.  
  
My feet now stopped in front of a small restaurant which besides meals, served few drinks as well. I’d seen it before, having walked by it several times, but never actually took any interest in it. The very name “Frogner Bistro” had a ring of a place that I wouldn’t normally visit. Considering that, I decided that it would be good to do something new tonight. I entered inside with the hope that no one would recognize me at this morbid evening. The last thing I wanted to deal with right now was fame and fans. This melancholic state of mine could bear no more irritation.  
  
I sat on the bar swiftly and waited for the bartender to notice my presence. It took him a long while to see me, because he had his eyes fixed on some game on the TV in the corner. And to the bargain he had his back turned towards me. I usually didn’t mind so much when the service was poor; but now because of the lack of good company and the strong feeling of wretchedness it was getting to me very quickly. Furthermore my nerves began defrosting and I was feeling every annoying sound from another continent. I intentionally coughed quite loudly with the intention of making him take his eyes of the screen. I wasn’t planning to be the only irritated guy in the place the entire night. And then I noticed that he was watching football. Oh, man this was going to take a while. I coughed again, this time even louder and it seemed as if I managed to attract his attention. Or maybe he was just planning to throw out the idiot that was disturbing the peace in the restaurant and preventing him from watching the game peacefully. However as soon as he realized that a new customer was present he smiled at me saying:  
  
“Why didn’t you call, man? I was watching that thing.” He shortly pointed back at the corner where he was bundled up with his friends or whoever they were. “Thank God that you have a cold or you would have stayed there all night waiting for your drink.”  
  
If only the thing I had was a cold and not these episodes of going mad. And about staying all night at your place, don’t mind if I do. I thought it would ease my soul to share this thing with the guy, but I noted to myself that for one I shouldn’t push it and for the other I wasn’t going to share my troubles with a stranger who could sell the story to a local newspaper for as much as they would offer. It was astonishingly amazing how ironic my life was. The tabloids could figure out every move I made if they cared to do so, but the people around me saw nothing that was happening with me. It was though as they were just looking through a figure, completely dismissing the fact that a person might be inhibiting it. So instead of opening up to a random guy at a bar that didn’t care about me, through a smile I just replied: “Yeah, thank God.” The service might have been horrible, but it made me laugh and that was a start. Even though the laugh was on my expense.  
  
“What are you having?” The bartender asked swiftly, presumably impatient to return to his game. I gave it a little thought and I decided I should order beer. I was never into heavy alcohol anyway, and after all, the first thing that always pops to a man’s head is this particular beverage I just ordered. He took a glass from under the counter and poured the drink in it, leaving it in front of me as he moved away in a quick manner to go back to his place. I hesitated not to pick up the glass, hoping that all the confusing thoughts could be drowned in the scent of the alcohol. Nevertheless, I emptied the content of the scratched out glass and placed it back on the counter. The guy, who was just beginning to enjoy his game again, somewhat irritatingly turned at the thump. Realizing that I had my gaze fixed on him craving for a refill he moved towards me once again, pouring me yet another drink wordlessly. Only this time around I didn’t let him leave so easily. In fact I hastily added: “Sorry, but can I just get pay for the entire bottle? That way I can pour my own drinks and won’t have to disturb you from the comfort of your seat all the time.”  
  
He looked at me as if he doubted my honesty and his appearance now showed me that he was beginning to insinuate that I was hustling him.  
  
“Do you have money?” He doubtfully asked, raising his eyebrow.  
  
“Yeah, of course I do.” I replied as he just deeply insulted me. But then another thought came to me, that if he had recognized me, he wouldn’t have dared to ask that question. My lips twisted in a small smile as I began to feel like a normal, regular man for a short moment.  
  
He then passed me the bottle a little too happily, now aware that he could watch his game without disturbances. I knew he was straight on the point with his question and I remembered now that I left the house without my wallet or any money whatsoever. I touched my pockets just to manage to find some money, at least enough to cover this expense. To my adversity, my pockets were empty except for my keys and some rubbish. How lame was that, but I did just plan to go for a walk. This getting drunk at a bar just happened accidentally, out of the blue. Impulsive decisions do tend to have their downsides.  
  
Now that I was beginning to relax there was no way that I would let this chance of getting drunk slip by me. It helped me and at the present I cared not for the consequences nor for the feeling of regret, which I was bound to feel in the morning. I will leave that for when I am sober and willing to go back to self-pity and depression. Therefore since my point was fixed, as soon as I felt the bottle under my fingertips I poured another drink. Since I was served for a good while; I was left at peace now and could fall into the labyrinth of thoughts that were circling inside my mind like a black river of disease over the last few months.  
  
Oh, it would be a story if my brother happened to just pass here and see me in this place, doing what I was doing. Certainly, he would be more than prepared to give some of his familiar lectures and here was I thinking that lectures were a job of a professor. I even knew what his first assumption would be. He would think that I was still trying to get over my ex. Even now, after nearly a whole year had passed. And it would hurt him to bone to see me like this and I didn’t want that to happen. But I must admit that if I were in his position and he was the one standing here I would feel the exact same way. He never approved on this sort of behavior and neither did I, but sometimes it was a required operation to prevent misery and sleepless nights. Nights that were spent thinking about the worst day in my life. And unavoidably, my mind began to replay it with the fullest of details.  
  
It happened out of the blue. I heard some rumors that she was sleeping with someone else, but I was so childishly naive. I was blindly in love and there was no way to see what she was doing right in front of my face. I didn’t even believe it when people started telling me, thinking that they were jealous of our happiness. I was so foolish, that I wouldn’t have seen it even if it was thrown in my face. I was so lost in that relationship that I saw marriage in the near future. I saw everything, except what I should have seen and my blindness haunts me to this day.  
  
One morning all hell broke loose. I could feel my heart fastening as she was climbing down the stairs. It was always like that. Breakfast was ready and I was hoping for one of the most romantic days ever. Every single day spent with her felt like that for me. I took a day off from work to share it with the one I loved and I didn’t regret it a bit.  
  
However when she entered the living room everything went downhill. She had that serious face which could be frightening, although that morning was much more than simply scary. It was lethal. For me, at the very least. I wanted to cheer her up and teased her by asking whether I was in trouble. But instead of a proper reply or something sweet or even a tiny smile, she announced that she was leaving me for somebody else, someone better who didn’t want to get rid of her all the time and that on top of all that she was carrying his child. She said it so lightly, so easily that it felt like all of our years spent together were of no significance to her. She was sweet enough to inform me about that herself, so that I didn’t learn about it from another source. I imagine she managed to ease the pain by throwing it in my face so abruptly. She was completely wrong to think that I would have been glad to get rid of her.  
  
Through my wounded pride and childishly pure love, I thought we could maybe even find a way to work it out eventually. My mind pondered for ideas to solve things with the speed of light. When I enquired about how she knew that the child wasn’t mine, she told me that she found out few days after I returned from the tour and that she was a month off and considering that I was gone for more than two, there was absolutely no way I was the father. That information stroke me so hard, shocking my every cell and ruining every shine of light in my soul. I felt as if a truck hit me, shattering every bone and ruining every hope. I stayed breathlessly stunned in our living room as she was leaving the house taking her suitcase. I couldn’t move or say anything. My senses were paralyzed, my blood motionless. I didn’t register anything else. I was only aware that the thing I cherished so much and was building hope into was dragged away in an instant. A child, dear God… And I saw nothing.  
  
But this grand presentation was just between the two of us; it was held only once in our home, which after that scene I rushed to sell, and she managed to make a spectacle out of it right then and there. Whether it was the hormones or herself, in which case I would have to admit I knew her far too little; I knew not. But I still recall the cracking sound of my heart shattering in million little pieces.  
  
Under which falsehood she imposed on my brother and his wife I had no idea. I knew that since Mary was her friend she would have believed every word uttered. Besides she was naive enough to believe that donkey can fly despite the opposition of all the laws of nature. However my brother’s behavior back then was another blow for my already shaken nerves. He never even allowed me tell him my side of the story, he was completely blind and focused on my (as he called it) “idiotic” behavior; which was driving me insane back in the day.  
  
I should have supposed that he would judge me. Vegard was so lucky in his choice of bride, so he never could understand the fickleness that could hide behind a lady’s appearance. He would never have been able to see through a compulsive liar as my ex. For that matter neither could I and I was far more observant about that sort of stuff. I suppose, that his gullibility was the reason he blamed me for the entire thing in the beginning. Obviously, dating the sweetest and most charming person and later marrying her could have that effect on you and make you believe that no lady could ever hurt a guy. He imagined it to be quite the opposite and that I was the cause for her devastation. He thought that our relationship ended because I was tired of it at the moment and not because of the fact that she ruined a perfectly promising relationship by sleeping around with every guy that came her way.  
  
They were, of course, unaware of the child until she gave birth and they confronted her about not telling them that she was carrying my child. Then she just confessed that I was not the father. I admit she did that thing right at least, as they were bound to figure it out sooner or later – Vegard at least, since he knew my desire for a kid and knew that I would never walk out on her if it was mine. It was a shock for them and as soon as they found out they broke all contact with her and came calling on me to ask for forgiveness and to offer as shoulders I could cry on. But they were far too late for that. By that time I already learned how to live with it and had somewhat forgotten the most painful parts and was quite recovered. When the break up took place he was on and on about me taking her back and not selling the house but when the truth was revealed that talk stopped. My brother went back to being the person I knew, the person who supported me no matter what, with a promise he wouldn’t doubt me as much in the future.  
  
This trying time brought us closer and now we are closer than ever, I just only think that he can’t understand me, well honestly said, all together. Just when I thought that his reproaches and remarks had come to an end; he started to constantly go on and on about burying myself in work and not going out to have fun and go on dates, as I used to. Trying to help me, my sweetheart of a brother kept saying:  
  
“You have to try again, Bård. Life isn’t over yet, you know.” He would just insist and I knew him to be right. I just wanted for that to happen spontaneously and not to do my best to fix happiness. From all my previous experiences fixing up happiness was never ending up nicely. For me at least.  
  
The drink was getting to me, since I opened memories which were sealed a long time ago. Just as I was getting ready to drift away in yet another painful memory I heard my name being called. The bartender was far away and even if he were close; I was entirely skeptical and doubtful upon him knowing my name. Besides this was a girl’s voice, but no one was sitting on the counter, so I turned around. And my astonishment was enormous, since no one was nowhere near me. Before allowing myself to ridicule my silliness in hearing voices, I lowered my head a little bit. And there was she – a tiny little princess full looking at me with big bright brown eyes. I smiled a bit more at the sight, rather than to anything else and addressed her respectfully: “Was it you young lady that addressed me with such royal countenance?”  
  
Then I playfully raised my eyebrow addressing her the sweetest smile I could at that point produce. Maybe it was just the liquor that was having me behave in such a silly was, but I would like to flatter myself that I was irrevocably sober. Although I should have guessed I was not, judging by what and how much I drank. This tiny person who stood in front of me with such determination was not taking the smile of her face. Then she said a short yes, as if she had gone shy all of the sudden.  
  
She handed me a magazine with me on the cover and considering all the photos of us, Vegard and I, which were out there this one could have been considered as quite decent. She said:  
  
“Can I get your autograph?” While I was taking the magazine out of her hands, realizing that she was barely holding to it. “I really love you and Vegard. I always watch your show. You guys are the best. Please…”  
  
It was good. As it would seem at least I was still charming to someone, even though it was just a little girl.  
  
“What is your name?” I gently asked, trying to hide the smell of alcohol in my mouth.  
  
“I am Clarice.” She replied with the same tone of voice.  
  
“You have a lovely name, Clarice.” I said to her and the reason was not just to make a little girl smile. I meant it, truly meant it. I touched my pocket in search of my pen since that was the place where it usually ended up automatically, recalling that only half an hour ago I threw it out of my hand to hell knows where. This was embarrassing, but I had to ask a little child to borrow me a pen or something, so I did.  
  
“I don’t have one, but mum does…” She winked at me, as she turned away in search of the object. Her action was so innocent and sweet, that I once again recalled the time when I wanted an angel like this one of my own. Only I was left without anyone anywhere and that dream soon fell apart and turned into ashes. My fatherly instinct started dying off when I was thrown out of the normal course of my life and this girl made it wake up for a little while with a simple smile.  
  
Her “Here you go…” snapped me out of my dreams and she handed me the pen she was previously clasping in her hand. I took it realizing that once again I found myself with no idea what to write in the dedication. What could I say to a little girl? A girl that I didn’t know anything about, only that she liked the show. Not that she cared about the dedication, she was most likely going to be more than happy for the signature. Therefore I just wrote “To the cutest little princess on the planet.” and signed my name. I handed her back the magazine and the pen. I thought that I was done, but she now required a picture. I made her wish come true.  
  
Soon after that I noticed that her mother took her by the hand and they both left the place. I was left to my worries, my getting drunk and my self-pity. There was a lot of the last one, a bit far too much for my own personal taste. And I usually tolerated quite a discrepancy, but this one was far too much. I breathed in and was about to sink myself in another drink, when the bartender moved towards me:  
  
“Yo, man… Maybe you should just stop and leave… We are closing up soon anyway…” He said, his deep raucous voice reaching my ears.  
  
Ha, the moment was there. I had to tell him about my not having a wallet when only some time ago I was insistent upon being offended by his insinuation. And on top of that, I had to explain everything to him while being half drunk and at the same time confused and messed up. This is going to be a walk in the park, isn’t it?  
  
It seemed impossible to clarify things to someone who didn’t care about your life and problems and just wanted to be paid for his work and it was, given that only moments later I was picked up like a feather by this robust guy by the collar on my jacket and was cold-heartedly thrown out on the street. I ended up rolling on the ground and when I fell from the sidewalk on the street I felt pain travelling throughout my entire body as if the alcohol wasn’t killing me enough. However, I was grateful that my head remained well above the ground and I was not hurt, aside some possible appearance of bruises in the next week or so. Nonetheless, I began feeling the regret, regret that was sooner or later bound to happen, for each sip I took. All I wanted now was to pick myself up and get home before something else happened like someone taking a photo of a drunk Bård Ylvisåker and making a national scandal out of it. My mind was now set on a warm bed and the sleep I so desperately needed.  
  
I checked my pockets to make sure that I lost nothing during the flight I so unexpectedly just took. Because it was a flight, since he threw me out of the door well above the ground. Damn, that landing was painful. I only now becoming aware of how much. After I made sure that everything was on its place, I began my slow walk towards home.  
  
The night, although chilly, was clear and beautiful. The fresh air was cleaning up my head as much as it could have been achieved after so many drinks. I was at some point fully motivated to think of how to organize my time. Instead I let the night ahead capture my partial attention, leaving the slight wind make me feel better while at the same time leaving it rumple my hair removing it from my face. This drinking expedition proved to be useful, albeit painful. Maybe I should apply it more often. Or maybe not. Who knows? Cause, I didn’t…  
  
I looked at the starry sky above in hope of some reply from somewhere. It was the perfect moment for the universe to send me some form of a sign. A sign, or rather a promise, that things in my life would get back on track somehow. I kept walking like this hoping that I wouldn’t trip on something, like my own feet. But the view was so breathtaking that I couldn’t allow myself to look down. And I didn’t, not even while I was turning on the corner and then as if once was not enough I bumped into something or rather someone and found myself on the ground again. As I heard that person’s thud, who was taking the falling down so quietly, my brain was preparing to curse everything, so I just mumbled:  
  
“Faen, gjør vondt det. Oh, dritt.” And after that added: “Faen, hva er problemet?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and any feedback is more than welcome...


	3. Catherine: Accidently helpful

Blood drops started dripping from the cut on my hand. The man, who joined me in falling down on the pavement, when we bumped into each other, was mumbling some words I couldn't quite understand. This was definitely the high peek of all the catastrophes that happened during the entire day. 

Why wasn't I looking in front of me? I had to stare around looking for a way just when I was turning into the corner... I surely can pick the right moment. Jesus, am I that lost. It was strange. Annoyance was building up in me and that rarely happened. I suppose that it is due to my believing that after parting ways with mum and Fred nothing else would be able to make me feel more miserable. Clearly it seemed I was wrong, utterly and completely. After all when that moron of the cabby, who didn’t know a word of English except “I will take you there…” despite my primary contrary belief since he apparently learned the accent on that one perfectly, dropped me off at a wrong address I realized that the atmosphere wasn't going to get any brighter soon.

I was basically lost, without company and no possible way to call a cab, since I knew no word in Norwegian. And now this, as if all that’s happened by now wasn’t enough. But there was a bright side to what just happened and hopefully maybe things would start improving somehow. At least I could ask this man I just knocked out where I was. If he could understand me or wish to answer my question. After what I did, if I were him, I wouldn’t even look at me. And most definitely if I were some old drunk guy as he was. I got off the ground, sliding my scarf off of my neck hastily and immediately covering my hand with it trying to avoid infection on the cut and turned to help this stranger to get up, fearing that he might be hurt as well and truly hoping he wasn’t.

As I grasped him tightly trying to pull him up I became aware that it was highly likely that I would end up on the ground again instead. Apparently despite being skinny he couldn't actually stand on his feet, tripping over on nothing a few times before finally grabbing a hold of himself and standing up on his feet. And when he finally got up, and looked me in the eyes I realized that it was actually a much younger man I was helping. I smiled to the fact that I was far too disoriented to observe his age. Or anything else for that matter, like where I was or where I should go.

It was a bit ridiculous and even mad that I refused the family to come and pick me up, with the excuse that I could easily find my way and didn't want to disturb them. And upon their insisting on that point I permanently refused all help that was offered.

God, this man was my last hope. The only chance of not ending up in the cold in some park of a half ruined bench; since I have been walking on the empty streets of Oslo for nearly half an hour meeting some random people that I doubtfully approached asking for help. Seeing that people that just passed me on the street were unpredictable, as well as dangerous, most of the times I couldn’t bring myself to ask. From those few I addressed – those that spoke my language, didn’t know the address and those that presumably knew the place I was seeking didn’t speak my language. It was a bummer. So, this drunk guy I just bumped into was the only person that might be able to help out.

I must admit I was even really freaked out. As I walked around in circles I was freaked out completely. And it was spelled all over me, so very obviously. I couldn’t stop considering that if someone stepped out of the dark, there would be no one to help me. No one to run to my aid. It was the same situation now. No one could help me at this moment either, but the countenance of this guy made me feel he was not going to harm me. It was something about his eyes. Although drunk, his gaze radiated with honesty and decency. 

“Oh, God! Please give me this one at least.” I desperately begged silently, every one of my cells screaming for support. I closed my eyes for only a split of a second and thought of dad. I needed him so much, he surely would have been my savior as always. A tear rolled down my cheek as I opened my eyes. I hurried to wipe it clean before it was noticed and while this stranger was cleaning up his clothes from who knows what since the ground we fell on was cement.

I thought that it would be nice to begin this conversation with an apology and I was genuinely afraid that I might have done some damage. And I was hoping that the only wound tonight was going to be the cut on my hand.

I squeezed the scarf to stop the blood since I could still feel it was slipping down. As soon as he looked up from whatever he was initially doing, I said: “I am so sorry. I wasn’t looking at all. Are you okay?”

After a moment of silence and blank staring into my eyes he uttered a single ‘no’. I scanned his entire body, but could not notice a single red flag. And he was grave silent and surely had no intention to help me or show what was wrong. That single harsh ‘no’ managed to cause panic in my heart. And my nerves started trembling and it was no good sensation. Nearly screaming I inquired: “You are not? Well, what is wrong? Are you hurt? I am so sorry. I wasn’t looking. Really sorry... What is wrong? Where are you hurt? Can I help?” I went on blabbing like a little girl, until I realized that my nerves were getting to me. When I became aware of that I managed to calm down a bit, and stop myself at restating the same exact things again and again.

I always did that, despite the fact that my dad tried to reason with me for so many times. He used to say: “Kitty cat, you mustn’t allow yourself to get so easily annoyed. Firstly, because it is not good for you and secondly because people could notice it. And they would use it against you. Kitty cat, promise me that you will try.” He would say that at least once in a month, and after each one of those conversations I would solemnly swear both to him and myself that I would control it but sometimes I would just lose it. I couldn’t avoid it, just like now. Worst of it was that it was happening to me over some stranger I randomly bumped into. 

“Bloody hell…” I thought, but my thoughts were cut short by his calm reply.

“I wish I knew what is wrong. But, I can tell you it was not certainly from this fall.” He finally spoke.

Jesus, he was mumbling about his troubles and not the consequences of the fall. He could have been clearer in his reply. And not say the first thing that came to his mind, sending me into a shock. I was not his therapist to talk about life troubles, I was asking for injuries. Despite being so angry to him for his reply, I was nevertheless glad and relieved that he was fine, right away. And upon remembering my reaction I felt somewhat silly. I could have been entirely certain that even this guy would die of laughter if only he were a bit more sober.

He didn’t look well all things considered, but he was no loafer. He was far too well dressed to be one. And his words though uncertain and drunken, were still pointing to an educated guy. No idiot would wonder what was wrong with him.

This was an entirely new situation for me. A little crooked smile appeared on his lips, his eyes turning dim while he rushed his hand through his shoulder-length hair. He fixed his deep blue eyes in my gaze; captivating my attention to the fullest and then he barely mumbled: “British, huh? I am sorry Sherlock girl.” And then I smiled slightly as well. Sherlock, out of all things. This one was a first. He continued: “It was my fault. It was me that wasn’t looking. I thought it would be a good idea to count the stars right now.”

I couldn’t decipher whether he was making a point, trying to be irritably funny or whether it was in fact drunken nattering. Therefore, being completely confused, having nothing clever to say and certainly incapable of thinking of something witty in reply without sounding as if mocking him I went with the truth: “No that was my fault. I was looking God knows where. Somewhere…”

I let my voice diminish at the last word, kind of desperately… My companion not quite freely and somewhat teasingly asked: “Where were you looking?”

I waved my hand pointlessly in the air and added: “Uhm, for directions… Any kind of… Speaking of which, maybe you could help me…” He must have notice the lack of decisiveness in my voice and realized my doubting him entirely, since the very next moment he said: “I might be drunk, but I know my way around the city… Besides I don’t think anyone else could help you… Do you speak Norwegian?”

“No,” I whispered, half-embarrassed. This was awkward. At the beginning I wanted to ask him despite all and now I thought him to be a bad choice. 

He smirked and said: “You have a point. I might not be the best choice for an instruction guy, but I honestly think that I can help you find what you are looking for. Am I right?”

“No, yeah you are.” I admitted, more to myself rather than to him. There was no denying that he could definitely get around Oslo in his state better than me in my flawless soberness. Having this guy staring at me while I was trying to make up my mind I hastily exhaled: “You may not be the best one, but you are certainly the only one. The only that knows English, anyway. At least I can put you to a test. Besides it is not like I could get more lost than what I am at the present. So…”

My comment made him smile. His smile was charming, far too much to be ignored even though he was just a stranger. Our gazes were still interlocked, when he steadily continued our conversation: “Okay, I think that you do have a good point. If I were sober I would try to argue it. But as it is… Anyway, shoot…”

I threw my head back a bit since I didn’t understand what he was trying to say. “Shoot what?” I recited.

“The directions, remember?” He rather ironically mumbled, but a thin smile was traceable in his expression. “Where do you have to go?”

“Oh” I twaddled, while thinking whether I could be so confused to get lost in my own language. Did this day really wear me off as much? It was so embarrassing that I closed my eyes for a second furrowing my eyebrows and shaking my head trying to throw those thought out. I was focusing to stop the blood flow that was heading towards my face, and prevent the blood rush and the flush on my cheeks. Try as I might, focused as I was it couldn’t be stopped nor helped nor avoided. My face, undoubtedly, undertook a notable shade of crimson.

I lowered my head staring at the map, letting the hair fall and cover my face and my shame. In fact, it seemed that I was using this entire situation to my absolute advantage.

“I am supposed to get to ‘Frederik Stangs’ Street. And according to this thing it should be just around the corner on the right. But I have been at it for hours and I couldn’t find it. I even started to doubt my intelligence.” I admitted shyly, however brightly.

He made a few steps and came closer to me, positioning his shoulder next to mine and pointed his gaze towards the map. He stared into it moving his face further towards the map, trying to read. The smell of beer reached my senses irritating them to the fullest. I hated the smell of alcohol. I just now perceived that he was for real undoubtedly drunk. He reached his conclusion: “Okay, yeah, the map is fine… Which can’t be said about the owner. Which way do you turn?”

“Right, like I said. And what do you mean with that?” I blustered at him. 

“And that there is your problem.” He affirmatively concluded, smiling lightly. “You should go left. And didn’t you realize that you are holding the map upside down? God, and you thought I was the drunk one here.”

And there it was. I figured out, well he helped me figure out, what went wrong in the last hundred attempts. Turning the wrong way around… 

“Clearly, I was right to doubt my intelligence,” I mumbled with a shrug, another red shade painting my cheeks. “Thank you so much. Grateful.”

At that he moved away from my side, stumbling a little but still managing to keep balance. He supported the weight of his body on the closest street-lamp. I jumped up at his tripping and said: “Are you sure you are fine?”

“Yeah, except for a bruised ego.” He gasped out and after calming down he addressed me a question: “Do you think you could find your way to that address now?” I gave it a short thought and calmly replied: “After the last hour venture I am not exactly sure, but I can try. If by any chance I get lost again I will return here and hope to bump into you again.” At which he quite quietly, but boisterously enough for someone in his state, said: “Oh, please no… I beg you!!! It was more than enough for one evening. No more…”

I turned around and took my suitcase and the bag, since I threw the laptop in the suitcase previously when the cabby dropped me off, I had only two things to carry now. I placed the bag on my shoulder and grabbed the handle of the case, I was ready to get going. I thanked this guy and made my first step. When I was only few steps away though, I heard him say: “Just a second, do you want me to walk there?”

I turned towards him at the sound of his voice. He was still leaning over the same spot, using it as a resting place. Considering that I have already ruined his night and that he could barely stand, I had to tell him no. I tried to.

“Oh, please no. I have disturbed you long enough. I can find my way.”

“I wouldn’t mind it at all. Besides I can find my way back… I hope.”

He smoothly threw a swift smile, convincing me in less than a second. I smiled as well. It was ridiculously funny. This entire ironic situation – the blind one leading the one that couldn’t see. He threw himself away from the lamp and joined me.

We remained silent as we walked along the street. As the wind was playing with my hair, the only sound audible was the squeaking of the suitcase I was dragging behind me. The pain in my hand was increasing with each next moment, but I remained silent. It was unbearable to drag the case with that cut on my hand, so I switched my hand. None of us dared to say something, to interrupt the silence of the night. To ruin the scent of the fresh night, to cut through the moon light. The breeze was cheerfully playing with my hair and as I could see from the corner of my eye it was engaging in a similar action with my companion’s hair as well. His abrupt movement caught my attention and I looked at him. He had his twitched in a way so that he could look at the sky above us, while still walking next to me. He made no noise, his movements so silent. Just staring at the sky, looking all mysterious. I tried to join him in that, but I couldn’t partly because in just a few seconds I got dizzy from the way I held my head backwards and inasmuch because I couldn’t walk without stumbling from the luggage which I couldn’t quite pull any longer. As if he could read my thoughts, in the next instant he offered to carry it for me with the words:  
“Allow me, I can take it. We are close anyway. Less than 5 minutes.”

I was afraid that he couldn’t carry his own weight, let alone the weight of my loaded suitcase as well. Therefore I just said no, even though a help would be welcome. My legs were killing me and so were my hands. My entire body was in an ache, as much as from the pressure of this entire trip as from the walk I took over the last hour. I seemingly lost track of time, when lost in these thoughts.

I returned to reality when I realized that he had stopped, so I looked at him. He seemed to read my thought thanks to the expression on my face. He raised his hand pointing on the left, while saying: “That way, you can find the number you are looking for on your own.”

“Yeah, that I can, unless the numbers are written in a different way here. Are they?”

“Not when you are sober.” He articulated trough a laugh. “Good night, Sherlock girl. Have a lovely stay.”

I smiled and nodded towards him, mildly saying: “Thanks a lot. Good night to you too.”

And then he left.

***

I rang on the doorbell on the house labeled as number 15, slightly fearing that its inhabitants might have already gone to bed. A scream from inside the house, proved me wrong. The same voice reached my ears only this time around I understood what was said: “She arrived…”

A girl my age opened the door for me, dressed in her jammies. Her hair was up in a ponytail and she had a painted smile on her face. She was joined by her dad and mum soon enough. Yep, I relaxed. I arrived at the correct place. I knew them already since I contacted them previously and we conversed for hours. The girl’s name is Adela, and her mother Netta and her father Paal were going to be my host family while I am in Norway.

"Welcome," They all said in a choir, as if they had rehearsed it. Adela and her mum moved on the side to let me in and her dad was reaching for the suitcase before I realized that he stepped out.

"Thank you," I replied, feeling the need to explain why I was hour later without making anyone worried: "Sorry I am late. Airport clearance took longer than supposed."

"No need to apologize, we are just glad you are finally here." They were speaking as I was taking off my coat. 

"Allow me!" Her mum said taking of my coat.

"Never mind anything now. Your suitcase must be in your room. Let me show you where you will be." 

She said leading me, as a true lady of the house, up the stairs. Her daughter followed us. While walking to my room she said: “You must be tired, so make yourself at home. If you are hungry I can make you a sandwich or maybe you would rather rest?"

She spoke in a rushed, excited manner, making a smile creep up the corners of my mouth. They were all indeed very welcoming and I couldn’t help but feel thankful.

"Thank you so much, but don't bother helping me out. I am not hungry. It’s late at night and I am tired, however, so I will go to bed. I don’t need to keep you up any longer." I told her honestly out of pure politeness.

Are you sure there’s nothing we could do to make you feel more comfortable right now?”

I shook my head no. “You are too kind. But I am quite alright. We’ll talk in the morning, like you said.”

"Alright dear. Have a good night." - She said when leaving the room accompanied by her daughter. My room, for the next year give or take.

My room. How weird did that sound? Nothing could explain that feeling… It was a cozy, comfortable and nicely set room, to be sure. However it lacked something crucial, something that everyone needs. It was missing that feeling of familiarity, that feeling of it knowing my story and my past. It was lacking the memories, the comfort of home. But that could easily be taken care of. That is what I was at least planning to do the following morning. Unpack and fix this into my little corner, my sanctuary.

I was far too tired to take care of that now, or to even mind it. Besides it wouldn’t be nice of me to knock stuff out and not let the family sleep properly. I, therefore, brushed my teeth, combed my hair and changed into my pajamas and slipped into the already made bed. Soon after me the entire house silent. Its tenants followed my lead and went to bed as well. I made a mental note to remember to thank them for fixing it for me in the morning. It was as if I just found the best spot on Earth, since as soon as my head found its way on the pillow, I felt the sleepiness overtaking me. Just as I was drifting away in the dreams, a bird started its song just under my pillow. The exhaustion overtook my body, drowning the strange feeling that was present in my chest the entire day, and I fell into the world of dreams.

***

A beam of light that was reaching inside my room, through the branches of the tree that was in front of my window, was playing with my eyelashes trying to force me to open my eyes. It was simply bidding me good morning, while tingling my senses. I stretched in bed, shifting from my position a little. The attempt to open my eyes required more effort than expected, but at last I managed to open them, raising myself up from the bed and look around me. I scanned the room, in search of my phone. Just as I got confused why I couldn’t locate it anyway, I remembered that I placed it on the nightstand. Although that was the most logical location anyway, it took time to adjust to these unfamiliar surroundings. I turned that way and reached for it, intending to call mum.

As soon as I unlocked it, I became aware of the reason why it was so hard for me to open my eyes. The morning was, well, far too young to get up. It was only six o’clock which meant that I have slept less than five hours. I just ignored that fact and dialed my mum’s number. I knew that wouldn’t be a problem, considering that by now she must be up. As soon as she picked up, I softly said: “Morning, mum. Did you sleep well?”

The happiness in her voice was obvious, her tone indicating that she was gently smiling as she replied:  
“Just fine, Katie. What about you? Did your find your way easily last night?” She brought up the subject, which was obvious that she would. Before answering I considered telling her what happened and that I got somewhat lost, but then I realized that there was no need to worry her unnecessary. She had to worry far too much already, so I just uttered a white lie to calm her down: “Yeah, slept well. And it took me no more than five minutes after I got of the cab. Just had to find the right door number.” I hoped that she wouldn’t notice the lie. She was really good at reading my every tone, every move and every breath. But I imagine since she couldn’t see me she believed everything. That and because her heart wanted everything to be just fine. When the moment of tension and fear of being discovered passed, my muscles relaxed and my breathing evened. Now I dared to continue the conversation, without fearing that my voice would break in the middle of the sentence, and therefore I asked: “How is Fred? Is he okay now?” 

“Yeah, he is better.” My mum said through a sigh. Something was screaming in me to continue inquiring, but I figured I would regret knowing the source of the problem. Maybe later I will gather the strength to try fixing it.

“Okay. Mum I will go now. I just wanted to check on you. We will talk later okay.”

“Sure…” She softly, sadly said. I knew she wanted to continue, but I felt as though I was about to burst into tears.

“Bye. Say hi to Fred, from me…” I whispered, trying to hide the shakiness in my voice. I hung up the line and left my phone back where it was. I laid my head back on the pillow, letting out a deep arduous gasp. A tear slid down the side of my eye and I unconsciously ran my fingers wiping it off. Early or not, I had to get up. I simply couldn’t allow myself to continue lying down, feeling sorry for myself. It was hard as it was already.

I jumped out of bed in a fast movement, grabbing my garter and pulling my hair up in a ponytail. I hated the fact that it tightened my head extremely hard, but this way it would be easier to work around the room faster. I unpacked my suitcase and arranged my things every one of them at the right place; all the while thinking what was I going to do for the next week, since the semester was bound to start the week after that.

Only the last small details, which were the ones that would bring the magic of home in this new place, remained to be adjusted. I was, however, interrupted by a knock on my door. I heard Adela say: “Are you up? Can I come in?” I pressed the button on the phone. As I looked at the time I noticed that I was working for more than three hours. How fast time passes by when you are occupied. I had to find some diversion in the following week, something that would keep my mind off things.

“Yeah, come on it…” I said as I broke my line of thinking. There will be more than enough time for that.

Adela slipped her head through the door, smirk on her face, saying: “You decent?”

I chucked at her in reply, responding: “Somewhat. What’s up?”

“Breakfast is ready. We are waiting for you. Come down.” She said, as though she was in a hurry. Maybe she was just hungry. I knew I was. Not just hungry, but famished. I gave her a nod, when saying: “Be right there.” I zipped the now empty suitcase and shoved it under the bed. That will be its location while I was here. Being left without anything else to do or fix, I figured I should go down so that the family doesn’t wait for me. Being a guest, such frustrations were forbidden.

I ran down the stairs quite rapidly, but still trying to control the thuds of my feet on the stairs. This wasn’t home and I couldn’t allow myself such liberty. As I walked in the dining room, all eyes turned on me and everyone greeted me. I greeted back as I pulled away the chair and sat down. The breakfast could finally start, as we were now all gathered at one place. The table was set and everything looked incredibly delicious. I only hoped that it will be, seeing that I would stay here for a while.

I waited for them to start and after that I eagerly reached for the food as well. The conversation started right after that. I was addressed by Adela’s dad Paal.

“So, you are here for an exchange. What exactly is the course you are taking?”

“Applied mathematics.” I said in between bites. I knew that this conversation was something that sooner or later must happen, but I really just wanted to pass the breakfast in silence, from my side at least. I just hoped that we would find some other time to discuss this stuff. However, I knew that it would continue regardless what of I wished. Questions are just going to start flowing as a river. I wished I was wrong, but…

“So, what exactly are you preparing and how long do you have until you finish it?” Paal felt forced to continue.

“I am working on my PhD thesis. This is my last year of classes and I hope that by the end of it, I will have it ready and will be able to defend it.”

“Aren’t you a bit late with your classes? I mean, you are what 27 or…” Now it was Adela’s mother that spoke.

Here we go, explanations. Why? How? What? I wouldn’t have minded speaking of it if it wasn’t so private and painful. I just had to stir the conversation from this topic somehow. So, I just said: “I am 28, actually and I paused for some time because I needed a break. That is why I am late with it.”

Adela seemed to notice the inconvenience that was crawling on my back and the shivers that stroke every nerve in my body; since the very next moment she changed the subject. 

“Do you have anything planned for this week?” She asked me gently, not wishing to force me into anything. I smiled at her, nodding to express my thankfulness for that favor. And then I replied: “No, nothing fixed. Nothing I couldn’t full-heartedly abandon.”

“Good, I am taking you out every day… We are going to have fun this week, before the torture starts. Agreed?” With an enthusiasm in her voice she suggested.

Nothing in plan and far too much thoughts springing inside my head, not leaving me alone were reasons enough for me to accept her proposal. Besides not as if much could go wrong. We could get to know each other and I could gain a friend. It is why I came here for, partially. And although I have been friendless most of my life, I felt that this time just might be something different.

“Agreed.” I said, smiling back. To my great satisfaction, the rest of the breakfast passed in silence. When we were all finished I offered to help, but I was informed that guests were not allowed to work at all. I used the fact that they were busy with cleaning up the table as an opportunity to slip back into my room unnoticed. As I shut the door behind my back and leaned on it I thought to myself that this was going to be a long week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Feedback is more than welcome...


	4. Bård: Hangover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some cute Brovis moments <3

Somewhere in the misty corridors of my hangover mind I could hear a sound that most people would classify as the doorbell. And so would have I had I not been stretched out on the living room sofa still trying to recover from last night’s pains. However the drink had played with my mind, so that even though on some subconscious level I was registering the doorbell entirely; I was completely incapable of processing it as information. Therefore I just drifted away again, wishing that the annoyance would simply stop. Covering my head with a pillow was the best idea that came to my mind, a solution that would maybe somehow shield me from the world of reality for a little while longer. And that was what I recall as last.

Soon, or it seemed to be soon after that, a terrifyingly familiar voice was ringing in my ears and trying to reason with my hypothalamus quite unsuccessfully.

"Bård, Bård damn it, wake up!" my brother was yelling while leaning over the sofa. His concerned voice was echoing in the room. As a consequence to that I immediately knew the expression that was surely painted across his face. He started shaking my shoulders as I was trying to unlock my eyes. I didn’t even have the time to wonder of how it came to be for him to appear so suddenly.

"Bård, Jesus please," I heard him cry out at one point. Every single of those loud words felt like a needle stuck in my brain.

I rubbed my eyes while trying to address my brother a pleading. At the very first look a beam of light hit my senses and the sharpness of the pain made me shut my eyes quickly. Apparently this was an action that had to be repeated a several times before having the needed effect. As soon as I could register my environment I noticed Vegard’s worried face over my head. Just as I had pictured it. His strands of dark hair out of their place as always.

"Oh thank God!" he shouted as far as his voice could reach. And it could reach large extents. Even though I usually approved of his vocal capabilities, I was in no mood or position to take it in right now.

It was a severe blow to my nerve cells so even though my head was splitting and I could barely speak, I forced myself to say: “Oh, man… Vegard not so loud, please…"

My voice came out rusty and husky. Man, I've drank more than I can bare. How did that happen, when it doesn't happen very often at all?!

I slowly pulled myself up on the sofa, trying to make as few abrupt moves as possible; since every single one of those hurt more than an arrow through the heart.

However Vegard’s worried look soon gave way and he changed it into a serious one.

"Oh my God you're drunk as hell," he freaked out. “And I went home to fetch my keys because I thought some shit happened. Fuck Bård, why the hell would do that?”

His voice was still that loud; unbearably so. I placed my hands on my ears pressing hard trying to somewhat ease the pain Vegard's voice was causing. Even though my throat was sore and it hurt like hell; I had to insist once again, in vain hopes that he would maybe pity me and lower somewhat on the decibels: "Damn Vegard! Not so loud, I beg you." I pleaded while trying to see if I had managed to cause some sort of reaction on my brother. I knew that I had, when he changed his angry look into a gentle one. It showed that the remarks and the fight were left for later. At least I could bare it then. His eyes radiated worry as much as pain and I knew he cared. He always did, hell that was pretty much the job of an older brother. At least, that is what he constantly said. He worriedly shook his head slightly and headed somewhere.

"Where are you going?" I asked; my voice still robust, trying to turn my head to look at him. I imagine that he realized that I was incapable of turning my head so to fix my gaze on his, since the very next moment he returned back to my sight saying: "I am going to the kitchen to make you the best goddamn cup of coffee you have ever tried in your life. You, on the other hand, are going upstairs to take a shower and sober up."

And he once again moved towards the kitchen; but I stayed put on the sofa. I couldn't move even if I wanted to. Besides, I didn't want to. I was thinking on leaning back in the sofa, when I heard my brother’s voice from the kitchen - as if he could predict what I was about to do - shouting: “Don’t even think about it. Do it, Bård. Go and take a shower now. Or I swear to God I will start singing with my full voice."

I rose from the sofa in an instant, grunting at the pain of effort, whispering to myself: "Damn, he can be really irritatingly persistent sometimes."

“I heard that…” Vegard added from the kitchen.

I shook my head at how well we knew one another. I climbed up the stairs slowly, one at a time. It felt as if it had taken me more than 10 minutes to get to the bathroom and enter under the shower. I let the water fall all over me, wetting my hair. At first I was feeling the same pain in my head, but soon it stared to soften. It helped me a lot; even the shower was the last thing I wanted or had in mind to do. I changed my clothes and climbed down the stairs, returning to the living room.

Vegard was already there, waiting for me. Two cups of coffee were laid down on the table. When he noticed my presence he turned his head towards me; his look worried completely as always. Being the older one he was the one that took care of me, helped me in everything so even though we were grown-ups now; the worrying part still came to him naturally. I worry for him as well, but he could be called somewhat overprotective. His words interrupted my thoughts: "Are you feeling better now?"

I leaned in the armchair, exhaling softly and turned towards Vegard, saying: "Much better. I think."

Vegard's lip spread in a smile, making me believe that maybe just once we could hang out properly without discussing troubles, problems and work. However the next moment, drowned my thoughts and hopes. Vegard's eyebrows furrowed and he bit his lip. That was his tell. It meant that he was considering how to begin. I knew that soon enough he would start a conversation which would be inconvenient for both of us and might even end with a heated discussion. Because despite all, we never truly fought about anything. It is how we were.

He was my big brother and he cared for me. I understood that and I tried to respect his thoughts. It was just that sometimes he could push my limit somewhat. And given the situation I would either love it or hate it. He has always been there for me about everything and I despised contradicting him, although sometimes it was a requirement. If I didn't he would continue his over-protectiveness.

And that just made me feel sort of incapable of taking care of myself. Yeah, I could slip here or there, make something crazy and stupid from time to time; but hell everyone does that. Why wouldn't I?

Suddenly, my brother's deep voice spread through the room, reaching my ears. Showtime. Again…

"Why did you do it, Bård? What is going on?" He turned his head, steadying his gaze on mine; concern trembling in every syllable uttered. That worry in his voice and the sadness in his eyes struck me to the inmost depth of my heart. It pained me to see him so distressed and even more so, because I knew it to be my doing. I couldn't bare his look fixed on mine so steadily waiting for an answer, so I turned my head and fixed my eyes on some random tree out the window. And even so I could still feel his eyes fixed on mine, expectant for an explanation. He wasn't going to stop staring until he has received a reply. He was persistent at that.

I took a deep breath, trying to speak. But no words came out. There was nothing I could say, and I sheepishly opened and closed my mouth. He went on in his demanding tone, trying to encourage me as well as force me into an answer: "Answer my questions, Bård. Go on." - He tried once again, this time around more successfully.

"Nothing is wrong. I just..." I meant to say that I wished to blow off some steam, but I was interrupted by my brother’s voice.

"Nothing? No, no, no… No, we are experts on nothing; this isn't nothing! Bård, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," I said, keeping to my side of the story, childishly stubborn. Which was true all things considered. I did just want to blow off some steam, having worked on the papers all day long. My body required it and it managed to help, despite the painful ending. I went on to elaborate the reasons for the consequences that my brother witnessed: "I was working, checking tests and stuff and kind of got pissed off. So I went out for a walk, ended up getting drunk..."

But he didn't seem to believe my side of the story since he said: "Are you sure that was the problem? Bård be honest with me." And here we go again, starting to discuss my past and the ex and who knows what or why... Quite typical.

Just as I could foresee, Vegard then added: "You still think about her, don't you?"

And there it is again. The same question, leading towards the same debate; a debate we have held for over a year constantly. I understood his immense worry, but talking about pain and being reminded of it isn't really the brightest and most effective way of curing it.

"Vegard, we have been through this a thousand times." I said, while every recollection of the event stroke me again with the upmost of intensities, bringing it all back to life as if it was yesterday. And her leaving strangely wasn't the worst thing in all of it, it was the loss of my brother I regretted above all. I lost the person I admired and looked up to, the person that new everything about me and the person that could always make me smile, no matter what. Even though it was only for a little while, it had scarred me beyond repair.

I never, however, told him or anyone about it; because him I didn't want to hurt and other people I simply didn't trust.

"Oh, yes, I know. And we will be pounding on this subject for as long as it takes you to decide to open up and admit what I already know." He expressed himself, while waving his hands up in the air, as he always did. He just seemed so confident in himself right now, proud that he had made the right conclusion. If only he knew. I couldn't go through telling him; not at that point at least. I just wouldn't be able to do it. I knew that my voice would break at the first line.

Not because of my own feelings; I mostly feared hurting him. Because I knew how hard it was for him after he found out the truth, blaming himself for not being there for me when he should have. It made him miserable - that the big brother he was - that he wasn't there to give support at the most difficult of times. I didn't blame him, he had every right to think what he thought. I could be a really bad partner sometimes.

And he would have been right, had not my relationship with her been so serious. Just it seemed like a horrible idea to open up old wounds and tell him everything; bringing back the pain again. He did care for me; but I cared for him as well. Hell, he might have been the over-protective brother, but I would do anything for him as well. At least, enough to not wanna make him feel worse about himself. I sighed as I said: "Look Vegard, I got over Maya a month or so after she left. Just like I told you before. Okay?"

He remained silent and seeing that he wasn't about to start speaking soon, I said: "It hurt like hell for that month or so; but I am not going to spend my entire life crying over someone who didn't deserve me in the first place."

I though these words were finally convincing enough and everything seemed to suggest it was correct. I was genuinely persuaded that I had finally managed to do it - explain it all to him. But I jinxed it with such thoughts, since as soon as he spoke I realized that I couldn’t be more wrong. As if all the words I uttered just radiated from his ears and evaporated in thin air.

"Bård, you know. You have to get over her. Start dating other people and go back to being your old self. You must promise me that."

"Jesus, Vegard have you been listening to a word I said? I am over her, goddamn it. So, can we just stop talking about it? It is..."

I was going to continue, but I realized that this argument was heating up way too fast and came to the conclusion that it would be best if I just got up and left the room before it turned into a mess. And that I did, heading towards the kitchen, completely ignoring the glare Vegard undoubtedly shot at me.

When I stepped into the kitchen, I tried to hear whether Vegard was moving at all. I opened a cupboard, taking a glass and reached inside the fridge taking a bottle of water. When I finished pouring the water in the glass, I knew that he was behind me. I could hear him breathe and I could feel his eyes fixed on me. Before I got the chance to turn around toward him, he spoke: “See, what you just did,” he said, taking a dramatic pause afterwards before continuing: “That tells me that you are still in the middle of that mess. That it hurts you still.”

He was spot on. It did hurt, just not the part he thought that did. I turned around, returning the gaze, while leaning on the counter; with the glass of water in my hand. That didn’t stop him, he just went on: “And don’t get me wrong. I do think that if you spoke about it to somebody, mind you it doesn’t have to be me, you actually might feel a bit better. That is all I am saying now.”

“Good.” I replied. “So we will leave it at that. Okay?”

“Okay,” he said, clearly worried, but at least reluctant to continue fighting a war he couldn’t win. This secret was mine and only mine to keep and to carry the burden of.

We got back in the living room, taking our previous positions. We both remained silent, just sitting for quite a while. Who knows what Vegard was thinking, but my mind was blank. It was him that interrupted the silence: “Your hair is back to normal finally. It is hard to get used to you like that again, after all that priest look you had going on for a while.”

“Hah, Vegard…” I burst out in laughter. With irony in my voice I continued: “That is a great conversation starter.”

“Yeah, I thought so too… And, we did start a conversation so I’d say it did the job credibly.” he said teasingly. “Wouldn’t’ you agree?”

We both started chuckling at it. Through the chuckle I said: “Yeah, I suppose it is.”

After out laughter mollified, Vegard went on saying: “Is that what you were celebrating last night then? Your hair being grown back to normal?”

“No, I haven’t done that yet… Wanna do it?”

I was joking, but Vegard nearly rolled his eyes. “After your fiasco from last night, and the waking up from this morning… I just wouldn’t recommend it brother…”

We both started chuckling at this statement and I was glad of it. We haven’t done that in a long while and I have really missed that brotherly connection we shared. Hell I missed my brother more than anything. Our conversations and our sharing everything. This year was just us being close, but not as close as we used to be.

This brightened my mood, since it seemed that maybe things were going to get back to normal. That was bound to happen sooner or later and I truly hoped that it would be sooner, rather than later. Seeing my brother glad of the irony of the drinking fiasco outcome and laughing over it seemed like the best thing that has happened to me in over a year. I desperately needed my friend soon, I needed my brother and I needed my support.

I needed the guy that thought me what life meant, that showed me the meaning of love and that managed to solve every one of my problems. That person that was always there for me no matter what and the guy who could understand me no matter what, I needed him badly. I didn’t want to feel this dreadful sense of loneliness any longer. Given that it was so hard to focus on anything knowing that he wasn’t there to keep my back, my biggest wish was that things cleared up and we got back to normal.

Hell, this entire situation proved to be an amazing distraction, seeing that I completely forgot to ask what brought him here. We didn’t have anything planned as long as I could remember and I didn’t recall calling him the previous night. I was drunk, but I still remembered every particular moment. I knew that my phone never reached my hands after I got home.

“So what is he doing here?” This thought swiftly crossed my mind.

I took a sip from my cup, while Vegard was sitting silent on the sofa staring out the window. I put the cup back on the table and I asked: “Anyway, what is it that made you stop by today? We didn’t have anything planned, so what is going on?”

Vegard snapped out of his thoughts at my words and turned his head towards me: “Nothing is going on… Why?”

“There must be a reason why you are here right now…” I continued to insist, not doubting my own judgment in the slightest.

“No… No particular reason at all,” he continued, stirring his gaze away from mine, thus confirming my suspicions. “I just wanted to drop by.”

“No seriously, Vegard. Tell me,” I insisted.

However Vegard didn’t seem to wish to reply. As a mode of escaping this line of conversation, he returned back a question.

“Jesus Bård, why are you being so investigative today? Can’t I visit my brother without having a hidden motive or a secret reason to do so? You know simply visit him because I want to say ‘hi’ or just because I want to see him, check in on him…”

I smiled at his words. I knew what he said wasn’t true. He always was a lousy liar, but even if he had been good at it; him directing his gaze away from mine constantly would have been an indication enough. Besides it is not like it hasn’t happened before. It has so many times and it was always the same reason.

He had these questions roaming in his head and he simply didn’t know how to ask them. Couldn’t get his thoughts out – either because they were far too confusing or shameful for him. Either way he required an encouragement. So I gave him a little nudge to make him feel more comfortable and said: “Oh, come on. Jesus, Vegard it can’t be that bad…”

After a small break and a deep sigh, he started mumbling like a lost little boy: “Well, look… Bård, I just wanted to… Like, ugh…”

And then he froze in the middle of the sentence, changing him mind again and trying to turn to a completely dissimilar thing, hoping it would be his way out of the situation.

“Ratings from last night show came in…”

I knew that was probably true, but it wasn’t the thing that was tormenting him. Kind of skeptically I asked: “The ratings? Is that what you wanted to tell me?” The disbelief was traceable all over my voice.

“Ahm,” he trailed off.

“No, Vegard… You are not here for the ratings. What’s going on?”

“Nothing, I just thought you might be interested in hearing the ratings. Clearly I was wrong.”

He seemed so reluctant to speak about it, that I was genuinely beginning to fear that there might be some enormous problem. My curiosity was so peaked, my nerves so tense that I didn’t even realize that the headache I had was long gone.

“I would love to hear the ratings. You know – HEAR!” I loudly emphasized. “You could have done that over the phone, you know? But since this is so not about last night’s show…”

My persistence got cut off in the middle of line, Vegard continuing with the masquerade of covering up and concealing the truth, which he initially wanted to share. This was turning into a bizarre situation and that was rather obvious when he said: “No, but I wanted to do it personally.”

“Vegard…” I said, staring directly into him, my voice turning into a teasing irritation. “I have known you long enough. You might be able to fool other people, but I am your brother. I know how you tick. And, something is off. What’s troubling you?”

Seemed like my words hit a nerve at last, since Vegard started opening up. Or maybe he got sick of the entire situation as well and realized that he should just spit it out and get it over with. That was after all the reason for his visit.

“I think that you will consider this to be childish, stupid or maybe inane even…”

The last thing I wanted to do was interrupt him, since I feared that he might not be willing to continue afterwards; but he set that line so perfectly that I just had to make a joke out of it. So, with slight hesitation I said: “Vegard, have you been absent for the last what, couple of decades? Childish and inane is pretty much our living; maybe even our motivation.”

We both smiled at that, and then he continued without me encouraging him again: “Anniversary with Mary is coming up soon. And I don’t know what to buy for her. My ideas are all wasted.”

I smiled at the relief this answer brought to my shoulders. It was so astonishing, considering that I hadn’t even noticed it, until it was gone. Since the problem was not of the magnitude I considered it to be, I sighed. It was so typical for my brother to exaggerate such events. All the while Vegard was closely observing my reaction and as soon as I was back to normal, I said: “Oh, Christ. That was the problem? Vegard you freaked the hell out of me. I thought ‘God, who knows what has happened?’, so never do that again. Are we clear?”

“Sorry, didn’t want to freak you out.”

“It is fine. Now, Mary and the gift thing,” I said and after a pause continued: “Have anything in mind?”

“Hell, yeah… But I have given her all that already. I want something new, something like her…”

“Shy and naive?” I teased.

“Well, yeah. It is bad to say that my wife is shy and naive, but that is exactly what I want.”

I paused to consider a suggestion. “Have you considered a trip to a spa center or maybe some remote abandoned romantic little house? Hell, even the cabin would do the job.”

He smiled at that and added: “Yes, course I have. I don’t know if she would like it.”

“Oh, Vegard, come on. If I can tell that she would love it, then so can you.”

“Are you sure?” He knew I had a point, but that was him. Overthinking every little detail, as though that would actually change anything.

“I am positive, yeah. But if it makes you feel any better you can throw in a nice necklace and some flowers to the bargain. I am sure she would love those.”

“Yeah, she would. But I have given her both previously,” he mumbled.

“I know, but they were never accompanied by a romantic trip with just the two of you.”

“What do you mean the two of us? We have to take the kids as well.”

A selfless though came to me. “Sure, you could do that. Or maybe you could just leave them with their uncle. He is lonely enough in this big house and would love to have some visitors at last.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“I am offering, aren’t I? Besides it would be a problem solved.”

“Good. Agreed?” He uttered, after slight consideration.

“Agreed.” I confirmed.

“Okay.” He just stated once again.

We stayed sitting in the silence for a little while, both of us finishing our coffees. Vegard was happy that we came up with a solution for his problem. I was glad that we didn’t fight as much as I thought we would. It was a win-win situation.

Then all of the sudden, Vegard placed his hands on his knees, decisively looking at me. A tiny smile crossed his lips, just before saying: "Anyway, I should get going. I stayed for far too long anyways. Mary and I promised the kids that we'd take them to the park together today."

"Wait, Mary is at home? Why isn't she at work?" I asked, since I was confused. Mary was working more than me and my brother together, always and her not being at work was strange. I often found myself asking her to slow down, a little worried, but the woman was a workaholic.

"She has the week off. The Physics Institute is closed for the next two weeks. Giving its employees the long deserved holiday, apparently." He said mockingly. After a short break adding: "Not that I am complaining or anything. It is nice to have Mary around home, from early in the morning till late at night. You know now that she is home I realized how much I have missed her."

He sighed, his gaze lost somewhere in the open thin air, as he went on: "I feel like a teenager again. As if I am in love for the first time, it is strange that I have even forgotten how much I love her. When I woke up this morning, all I wanted was to spend the entire day in her embrace."

"Oh, man. It’s gotten worse," I commented swiftly. Soon after those words Vegard's confused gaze was fixed on my face and he addressed me a question: "What's gotten worse?"

"You and your love for Mary. It is like when you were telling me you loved her, instead of just telling her. Why didn't you tell her these things?"

"Damn it, Bård. Is it a sin to love my wife?" Vegard reacted defensively, like he always did when it came to Mary, shooting the question in my direction with an angry tone.

Given that I predicted this outburst long before it happened, without even being taken aback I immediately said: "No, I didn't say that. But, instead of wasting your time with me here why the hell don't you go and spend your day with your family. We can hang out together some other time. Besides, it is not like we don’t spend enough time on the show anyways. And just say ‘hi’ to Mary and the kids from me."

I could see Vegard's face lit up at those words. It is like it was that he waited to hear from the beginning. He hastily got up from the sofa and headed towards the hallway. While he was tying his shoelaces, I asked: "How are the kids by the way?"

"Jane is still playing with the doll you got her for her birthday. She doesn't let her out of her sight and still hasn't even looked at our gifts, which is a bit offensive. Matthew is still as mischievous as ever, waiting for his uncle to stop by and play catch with him. You know Matthew told me that I am horrible at playing catch...”

“He is right,” I said hastily interrupting Vegard in the middle of his line.

“I know, but it still hurts so much. He wants to play it with you and I kind of hoped that I could play catch with my son one day despite the fact that I am horrible at it. So I suppose, I can't get over the fact that my son prefers you as a team member," he added when he got up.

His face went blank for a moment, that it allowed me a free window frame to say: "Oh, just leave that stupid nonsensical talk aside. Course he loves you more as a team member, just not for games. Now go and have fun, before I throw you out of my house!”

He grabbed the door handle and left with a smile. I closed the door behind him. As I stepped back into the now silent living room, I directed my look at the pile of exams spread on the table waiting to be checked.

“I should get to work,” I mumbled to myself, as I pulled the chair out and took a seat.

***

I finished checking the exams much sooner than I had planned or even expected. It seemed such an easy task once it was done. I published the results, so that complaints could be sent via mail. At a request, some of the tests were rechecked and when the final results were published, each and every one of my students could finish the enrolling of the new year.

It all went swiftly and it was over with. The worst week of the year ended and the beginning of a new academic year was just around the corner. The last free day was spent in preparation for the long awaited beginning.

On my way to the university, I realized that I was entirely happy that I would finally have something captivating to do. A new academic year for me meant new classes, new work and new distraction. Something I desperately needed. Something that would certainly take my focus.

I could feel my lips stretching into a smile, as I stepped into the amphitheater for the first class of the year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	5. Catherine: Surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is the first class of the year, and Kate encounters the man she met the first night of her arrival once again...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why it took so long to post, I had it ready. For those who still read this, enjoy and comments/criticism are welcomed.

Irritation was spreading though my nerves the entire morning. Well, actually the morning could be considered as night since I was up at 5 am and woke the entire house along the way. My impatience was going to that extreme as if I was in front of a life changing event. Not that this new beginning wasn’t important. It just wasn’t that important. My anxiety was so noticeable and obvious that everyone in the house asked me whether I was fine at least three times. Adela was actually so concerned about my state that she kept checking on me every five minutes.

She was kind of getting on my nerves with that. I knew she meant well, but it was just adding up to the frustration I previously felt. Given that she kept on interrupting my already messed up thoughts was blowing away the only few drops of concentration I had in me. And it was what was driving me crazy.

Something about all this was off, since I felt this tension in my back from the moment I had woken up. Not even the half hour conversation on the phone with mum managed to help. I was just trying to make her speak, creating a distraction for myself, but she was not that eager to provide one. She wanted to know my thoughts and feelings, and that didn’t help my state. Fred grabbing the phone from mum and trying to share everything that had happened to him while I was gone; somewhat managed to improve the situation and actually to make me smile.

This feeling was most likely due to a new environment and probably somewhat of both the eagerness and the fear of fitting into the group in the university. I was the only one who knew no one there, aside from Adela. However, she wasn’t in my group, she was even an entire other section, so the thought that most of the time I would be left alone to find my way for myself was the thing that was clinging over my head. That was the thing that had me on edge. Not knowing anyone and being alone.

Now, I was rerunning the scenes from this tense morning in my head throughout the entire time while I was awaiting for the class to begin. It was the weirdest, the most stressful and most exhausting situation I had ever had to put up with. And it would have all been better had I just bothered to relax and focus on some useful task instead of just going through ridiculous thoughts the entire morning. I recalled how I was all messed up and spent the morning running up and down the room without a pause.

I was even so stressed out that I even asked Adela to draw me a map of the university as a help for finding my way. It was simply a moment of weakness and it was extremely pathetic and I hated myself for it. Adela didn’t seem to mind doing it. In fact she did it with much pride. She didn’t prove to be a good painter, even though she did try immensely.

Reviving the scenes from this morning made me realize how ridiculous I have been. Worrying over nonsensical things. It is not mandatory to find friends on the first day and besides Adela proved to be a very good possibility. I would have to get to know her better, of course, but for the time being she was quite nice. I honestly hoped that she would prove to be a worthy person and I hoped that we will grow to become great friends. It would be a shame after the great beginning.

The silence in the amphitheater was strange. And that struck me as a thought after I stopped pondering on my behavior from earlier in the day. Quite a lot of students and none of them speaking. Was this a traditional grave moment of silence? A moment of sadness before a beginning of a new school year? Great, I was becoming skeptical. Hell, it was probably the fact that it was eight o’clock on a Monday morning. No one is eager to talk at that point of the day, especially as it was a beginning of a new year. And honestly neither was I. The fact that I had woken up at five was now backfiring on me, as I was beginning to feel sleepy.

When the door of the amphitheater squeaked open, announcing the arrival of the professor and interrupting my thoughts rather sharply, the noise of bags being opened and notebooks taken out and placed on the desks in the room appeared in an instant. I was already prepared, so I directed my gaze to meet my new architecture professor.

The familiarity of the face struck me in only few seconds. I immediately became aware of his identity. The trace of sleepiness I was beginning to feel was gone as soon as I realized that I knew him. I recognized the stranger I met the very first night of my arrival here. Of course I recognized him; one does not forget such a face.

Wearing a black suit combined with a white shirt and a black tie, with a folder in his right hand, he headed towards his desk without stirring his gaze away from the goal. Had he looked in the crowd, he would have noticed two very curious eyes scanning him. Soaking him all in.

My gaze fixed upon his face, eyebrows furrowed in an intrigued manner looking for who knows what. Since I knew everything there was to be known. The random guy I met and asked for help, turned out to be my new professor. God help me. It was such a confusing moment, that I didn't know what to think. Realizing that I was awkwardly ogling my professor, I embarrassingly turned my gaze away. Not that anyone noticed it, or cared; but it still made me feel a tingling in my back. The discomfiture I felt was surely more than obvious on my cheeks, since I sensed that blood was rushing through my face and I knew that it would result in a strong blush.

I couldn't simply keep on staring. It was completely strange. But then again, I couldn't help it either. Not for more than a second. Thank goodness my mouth wasn't full open by the shock. Since it was a shock – without a doubt to be sure.

Of all the things that could have possibly taken place, what happened just now was something I could in no way predict to begin with. The one thing that hadn’t crossed my mind and the one thing that was the worst of all. Not that bad, as much as awkward and inconvenient.

He placed his folder on the desk, ran his fingers through his hair, pulling a lock of itbehind his ear and now decisively looked directly in front of him, skipping from one face to another. What was I doing in the second row? Should have sat behind... He wouldn't have seen me that way, but from this perspective he was bound to notice me sooner or later. I couldn't be sure about his reaction. I didn’t even know him and considering the level of drunkenness he had reached that particular night we stumbled upon one another, it was a possibility that he didn’t remember me at all. But I remembered him all too well and I knew I would blush if our eyes were to lock. Hell, I was already starting to. Just at the thought of it. My inner debates got interrupted by his voice. He was addressing us – the students.

"Okay, class. Let’s get started, shall we? For those who got high grades congrats and job nicely done. Those who passed, welcome and those who barely passed I expect more this semester."

He dramatically paused for a while, just so to continue with the words: "Those who failed and are now here, sorry and better luck next time." Light chuckles spread in between the students. And as redundant as this speech seemed, I joined in the chuckle.

He remained entirely serious, however. I was indeed puzzled. But not by his words. I was bothered with something I knew about him. I alone. I was so intrigued as to what could make this professionally successful and handsome guy get so drunk? Wasted to be more exact. He seemed fine now, but that drinking marathon wasn’t for no good reason.

Before I could roam away in my thoughts again, he continued: "This year classes will be in English, for a very good reason, since I was earlier informed that we have an exchange student between us. Would you mind introducing yourself to the crowd, please?"

He looked around, scanning the room for a reaction. His gaze hadn't roamed my way yet and now I had to raise my hand. I knew this would be strange and I deeply wished to be anywhere else right now except for here. I shyly raised my hand and said: "That would be me." His eyes now landed on my face, our gazes meeting for the first time.

He didn't move or said anything. Didn't even blink. He was good. And I became certain that he would clean up any poker game. Or that maybe he didn’t remember me at all. This last thought gave me hope that maybe he had no recollection of the event and there wouldn’t be any tension whatsoever. Cause if he did recall it, it was bound to be weird.

"Welcome to our class. I'm bored," he nonchalantly uttered, just after twisting his mouth a bit. I didn't know what he was trying to say. It was something I didn’t think could happen, but nevertheless my confusion increased. Bored? What did that have to do with anything? And why in the world would he share that with the entire class?

Either he was good at reading people’s minds or I must have made some grimace, which I myself hadn’t detected, since the very next moment he said: "My name is Bård. Bård Ylvisåker."

That is what he meant - his name. That name wouldn’t pass well in Britain. He would be thrown out of every place, just as he would say that he is bored. I smiled, as he continued: "The University has this thing about me letting you guys call me bored all the time. Given your reaction just now, I am beginning to see their point. Anyways, what is your name?"

"I am Catherine Fox," I said, trying to imagine what kind of face I made. I didn’t have much time to think of it, because right after I uttered those words, mumbling and silenced laughter spread all around, until someone from behind me loudly said: "What the Fox say?"

This turned the room into a wild jungle of laughter in a split of a second and different inarticulate noises started spreading through the room - all the way from ringing to screaming. I nervously turned my head both ways, just to see everyone either laughing at those words or making sounds. I was beginning to think it had something to do with the way I said anything. Trying to think of a reason wasn’t helping. I had no idea what was happening around me. The professor stood there for a second or two and didn’t seem to be bothered with the interruption. In fact he just had a light smile on his face. I fixed my gaze at his, a plea spreading all over my face. He was after the only person that could stop this. My breath started quickening. I swallowed hard as his eyes at last, after what seemed to be an eternity, landed at my gaze. He stared at me for a second sending me one of those looks that spoke that he understood perfectly, or at least that is how it appeared to me and then said: "Okay class that is enough."

Soon after that everything went somewhat back to normal. When he realized his voice could finally be heard, he added: "It is so flattering to see that no one knows the order of the lyrics correctly. Now that I think about it, I see that I should have failed you all."

I was in middle of something I didn't quite understand and I was beginning to think that I didn’t even want to. One thing was sure, it was making me uncomfortable. I scratched my neck in a nervous manner, my gaze not knowing where to land. So, I directed it at the professor once again. It seemed as if he wanted this subject closed as just much as I did; so the very next moment he looked at me and said: "Welcome to our class, Miss…”

He bit on his lip, when he got to the part of saying my last name. I stood up a bit, fearing that if he uttered it once again it would embolden another wave of laughter and teasing. Luckily he stopped just in time and as soon as I got the chance I cut in with the words: “Thank you.”

He looked at me once again and then added: “Okay, moving on..."

And the class began properly.

He turned towards the board taking a marker and I readied myself. I took out a pen and opened my notebook, hoping that this would be a good class. It would have been horrible if it wasn't because that would have meant that my coming at the university today was a complete waste of a time. So far it wasn’t going amazing and here was hoping it would change.

As soon as he started speaking it was made perfectly clear that if this was the mode in which he held his classes all the time then not visiting the classes would be a waste of time and not the other way around.

Even though it was still early, it was a solid conclusion to say that this year architecture classes will be both interesting and much better that those from back home. My professor back in England was the slowest person in the world. She was smart and understood everything that is from her field. However, notwithstanding that, one could always fall asleep at her lectures. She was one of those people that made you sleepy. And, no matter how hard you’d try, there is no way to withhold yourself from at least yawning.

I could see that this was not going to be the case. It way the other way around. I was sleepy at the beginning and now all that was gone. And the joke on my account that I didn’t understood was not the reason. However I hated my classmates for mumbling all the time from the beginning of the lecture. They were so quiet at first and as the time passed it escalated and now it was all whispers and chitchat. While as, it should have been the opposite. The professor didn't seem to mind the noise since he went on with his lecture, not paying attention to what was happening right behind him. He must have noticed it, no way he couldn’t, but he still chose to ignore it and I could understand how he was fine with it. How didn’t it bother him?

But it bothered me, given that I had difficulty following him since the conditions were such that I couldn't even hear what he was saying. I soon realized that I would miss the entire class, from where I was standing and I seriously didn’t want that to happen. He seemed to be quite enthusiastic about the things he was saying and I actually wanted to keep up. I just couldn’t understand these people that were in class with me. They were supposed to be interested in the lesson, since they were preparing their PhDs as well. It was quite shocking to see them uninterested to that extent. Annoying, as well.

My nerves were going insane over the fact that nothing could be heard in the second row. Hell, I was so close to shouting at that point, but just before I gathered up the courage and strength to do it I noticed an empty seat in the first row. I had no idea whether it would help and be better, but it was an option and I planned on using it. There was nothing I could lose. Therefore, I closed my notebooks and gathered up my things, and in a swift and silent motion, as silently as I could manage, I took a seat as close as possible to the lecturer.

It seemed that at last it got to him as well, because at a certain point of his line of thinking, he turned around and said, ever so calmly: “Okay, it is enough. We had a chat and quite a laugh, but this is overpassing every line. I tried to be patient, given that it is the first class and all that. But I have had enough. Those who want to talk - out. Those who don’t want to listen - out. You have ten minutes to clear the amphitheater.”

In just a matter of seconds everything quietened down. The strict voice that decisively spread through the room got the attention of the entire group.

After he closed it, he dropped the marker on the desk, adding: "We will continue after the ten minute break. Decide on which group you belong - those who stay or leave."

He took a seat at the desk and completely ignored the rest of the room. He dived his interest in the notebook that laid open before him and was reading something from it and along the way taking down notes.

The amphitheater started clearing up pretty fast. However, I didn't move from my seat even for an inch, but most of the other students figured it would be nicer to pass the time outside; so at the end only ten of us remained in the room. At least it would be easier to work. That was the advantage. Still, I couldn't understand them. Why in the name of God would they get up at 7 am on a Monday morning just to skip the classes anyway? If I were to do that, I’d stay at home and sleep and not lurk around the hallways of the university thinking of something dumb and pointless to do. However, despite the fact that it didn’t appear that attractive to me, many chose to do it.

After the ten minute break, during which I rewrote the things I had missed from the black board, was over, the professor closed the door of the amphitheater and resumed his lecture. Now that only those truly interested remained, it was peaceful and quiet and a pleasure to listen to him.

It is not only that he understood it; it was also the way he spoke. It was as if you could feel his passion in every word and in every move. He loved it and he wasn't afraid to show it. And I appreciated that, it was rare to find a person as passionate about architecture as I was. I didn’t even notice that I had been smiling, until I caught myself with a grin on my face.

Despite the horrible start this class had, it turned out to be the best class I have attended in a long time. I couldn't stop thinking that it was the first time I have enjoyed a class so much. The things he told us; not only did I learn them - I also understood them.

"This is going to be everything for today. We'll continue on Thursday. Are there any questions?" he asked when he finished with his side of the lecture.

I had a question, so I gathered up the courage to ask: “About the literature we could use. Which books are mandatory and where can we find them?”

“Well, generally the lectures are all in ‘Architecture – semester XV’ and you can find it in the library of our university. That is the basics you will need for this class. As to further improvement, it is basically left to your own choice. There are some recommendations in the aforementioned book, so you can check them out as soon as you get it.” At which point he turned to the other students, saying: “Anything else?”

“Yes, me again. About consultations – when are consultation hours going to be determined and where can we find you? I mean, where is your office?”

“Ahm, consultation hours will be set right after the schedule is confirmed. In the meantime, you can look for me in me in my office whenever you are free. Just check whether I am there. You can’t miss after ten tries. My office is on the second floor, below the library. I think that is the best possible explanation with these labyrinth hallways of ours.”

“Thank you.”

“Any other questions?” he repeated once again, shifting his gaze away from mine.

No one, apart from me, seemed to have anything else to ask, since no one raised their hand or voice. He nodded in confirmation that the class has ended and gently said: "See you next time."

We all started packing up our things and since I was incredibly slow, which was no big surprise, I remained amongst the last three in the room. He then out of nowhere abruptly said: "Miss Fox, can I have a word with you?"

I responded to his gaze, nodded and simply said: "Of course.”, realizing that he remembered that night despite his drunken state, despite the enormous wish I had for him not to. And that was what I feared – the awkwardness of the situation. I packed my bag, and I headed towards the desk. The room emptied and then he faced me.

He cleared his throat while his hand was closing his folder. His gaze was still fixed on the closed folder under his hand as he hesitantly said: "About, uhm... That night with the..."

He stopped brusquely, taking a deep breath, probably because he was trying to find the right words. Considering what to say. Even though he didn’t utter it, I knew exactly what his point was. Secrecy. The last thing he needed at that point was everyone in the university finding out about him being drunk. And at that point, I was well aware that I had not much choice but to go along whatever he’d said. So, instead of waiting for him to express himself, I smiled and said: “It is okay. Your secret is safe with me. No one knows and no one will find out. I promise you that.” I smiled, trying to locate his gaze. He glanced upfrom the desk straight to my face and somewhat surprised said: “You didn’t tell anything to anyone?”

I was puzzled by his reaction mainly because of his astonishment, but I nevertheless said: “No, why would I? Random ordinary guy I just happened to meet was kind of drunk. The fact that you turned out to be my teacher isn’t going to change things.”

A slight smile spread across his lips, as he approvingly nodded at my words. He bit his lower lip and returning his gaze back to mine, he whispered one: “Thank you.”

“Anytime,” I answered him.

I was rather reluctant to ask him as to where the small mathematics amphitheater was located, although I thought that this question might seem a bit ridiculous and ironic – since it wouldn’t be the first time I’d do it. Ask him for directions. But considering that the map from Adela wasn’t going to do me much good and I had no idea which way to go for my next class, it was rather obvious that I had to ask someone and I was here so…

I took out the piece of paper that Adela drew and waved it around in the air, inquiring: “Which way is the other mathematics amphitheater? I have this map of the campus, but as you can guess by now I am not familiar with the way of using a map. If I couldn’t find my way around with a proper one, what would I do with this one?”

He looked at me again, with a smile painted across his face, taking the paper out of my hand. He chuckled to himself and then lowered his look at the piece of paper. I knew that it would surely charm a comment out of an architecture professor. It was drawn so disrespectfully that it was bound to make him at least smile.

“It doesn’t even classify as one…” I continued.

“This doesn’t classify as a map,” he swiftly said.

We smiled at the fact that we basically said the same thing at the same time. He then went on: “Who drew this? Is that person in my class? Cause with this drawing I can easily fail him or her.”

“No, Adela is in the language division, actually,” I explained, somewhat defensive.

“That explains the drawing. Anyway, if you don’t mind me asking, what’s with you and directions?”

I could feel my face heat up. If I had been red until that moment, I was sure now I was scarlet. “I wish I knew,” I complied with a reply, nervously shifting my gaze towards the door. I fully regretted my asking now. I could feel my blood pumping through my veins feverously, making my cheeks blush. I bit on my lip, nervously shifting from one foot to the other.

“Here,” he softly whispered, as he handed me the paper. I took it hastily. “Turn right as you exit. Go along this wing until you pass the physics laboratory. It is on the left side and there is a sign, so you will notice it right away. Turn right just after it. Then pass the toilets and turn left. Straight ahead you will see the door of the amphitheater. Do you think you can manage?”

I smiled at his question and tried to assure him of my competence in finding my way this time around with the words: “Yeah, I can. Thank you.”

“Anytime,” he teasingly answered, a smirk dancing on his lips.

“Did he just reply the same way I did before? Nah, I am overthinking it now,” I thought to myself, barely registering my surroundings. But he did smile without a reason. Far too much thinking.

I directed him a polite smile and headed towards the door. Just as I reached it I turned my head around throwing back one last glance over my shoulder at the guy who now stood over the desk, exhaling promptly.

And then I left, heading for my next class hoping that I will manage to find its location and wondering if it would be nearly as half as good as this one.


	6. Bård: Guests

I was waiting for Vegard to come over and leave his kids for their stay at my place, while he and Mary would be enjoying the trip he managed to arrange within only two days. He was enthusiastic about it as if he were a teenager once again, taking a girl on their very first date. It seemed that he couldn’t wait to be alone with his wife for the first time since their kids came into this world. To speak the truth I understood his feelings completely.

And while I was drifting off on the sofa trying to just pass the time, awaiting for the doorbell to ring, my thoughts ran back to the previous Monday. Out of all the possible moments and situations I could have recalled upon, my mind went back to the moment when I turned my head again to look at her as she was exiting the amphitheater.

My thoughts at that moment were limited to her beauty and her shyness, that combined were making a lethal combination. And now that I was going back to that moment, I once again found myself thinking about those exact things. It was strange, considering that it was nearly impossible to get to a PhD with that sort of behavior. Shyness was not one of the qualities when fighting with a stubborn professor who wants to fail you. I was confused and incapable of deciphering anything about her.

Everything about her was puzzling. Full of contradictions. And it was exactly that what seemed to be drawing me in.So serious even though young. And although calm while following the lecture, every other move – her hand finding its way to her neck and her teeth biting her lips – they all indicated of her nervousness. It was that same behavior I had encountered at the stranger, even though at the time I didn’t give it much thought. This time it was different. I was rerunning in on repeat. It was just so captivating that I couldn’t make myself stop. Whenever I tried to get it out of my head, the thought would find its way back in, sneaking up from the back of my head and completely capturing my attention. So, I simply gave up on trying to ignore it and actually dedicated my entire interest, in focusing on resolving the thought and in that way just putting it behind me.

And yet another thing I couldn’t get out of my head was why in the name of Christ I thought so much about that. What was it about this girl that was so enthralling? Why was I so puzzled by her appearance and behavior? It seemed that the fact that she was different from all the people I had previously met had to do quite a lot with my apparent interest in her. It was that mix of honesty and restraint she had about her that was drawing me closer. I rarely had that sort of behavior in my presence. Usually, given my life, people I didn’t know would just throw information about their private lives hiding nothing. She was different. She didn’t even seem to know who I actually was and I liked it. Someone normal at last. Or rather, someone to be normal with.

Just as I was beginning my analysis, the doorbell rang. I reluctantly got off the couch and I was so annoyed that it happened just as I was beginning to feel comfortable. I knew it was Vegard, since I expected no one else. Besides, it was not as if many people actually paid me a visit. I ran my hand through my hair and the next moment I grabbed ahold of the doorknob opening the door for them. Vegard and Mary, along with Jane and Matthew, were standing at the porch.

Vegard was dressed in black trousers and a blue t-shirt. Even though the weather was sunny, it was in no way for short sleeves. Therefore I just assumed that he left his jacket back in the car, which was parked on my driveway. Mary, on the other hand was dressed more for a winter rather than autumn. A complete contradiction to my brother in that way. She was tucked in a coat, with a scarf around her neck.

The kids didn’t wait a second after I opened the door and ran past me entering the house, without so much as a ‘hello’. They were that enthusiastic apparently. They were often left for a stay over, whenever Vegard and Mary wouldn’t have time to take care of them; but it was always for a day or two. This would be the first time for them to be separated from their parents for more than a week. And I was kind of nervous and afraid, but their entrance and the smiles on their faces was a good suggestion that we were going to have a great time.

I smiled as I followed them with my look until they were lost from my sight. After that I looked back at Vegard and Mary greeting them, with a smile on my face. They were still out in front of the door, so I jokingly encouraged them: “Come on in, by all means. Don’t stand there. The kids showed themselves in, on their own. If they could do it, then you are also capable of doing it as well.”

Vegard tapped me on the shoulder as he walked past me, his gaze fixed on mine and a smile on his face. He was happy. And in a mode of anticipation. Mary knew that they were going on a trip, but still she had no idea where, because he took care of everything – the plan, the organization and even the packing. She wasn’t even allowed to enter the room at that time, as he informed me. It was a long time since I had seen him smile like that. We were mostly busy with the show and other things amongst it that he barely got enough time to spend some quality time with his family. Mary’s job didn’t make things easier either. I was glad that I was doing this for my brother. He deserved it.

Mary entered the house right after him, her smile a bit shyer than his. And as she was walking by she greeted me: “Hei, Bard.”

“Hey, Mary. How are you?”

“I am good. You?”

“Good.”

They passed through the hallway and entered into the living room. I followed them, after closing the door shut. The first look inside the room and I saw the kids were running a marathon in my living room. Vegard didn’t seem to even notice it, since he just sat down on the couch without saying anything. Mary on the other hand, didn’t seem to be okay with them going wild around the room.

“Matthew, Jane, stop that right away,” she said, a tiny hint of anger in her voice.

I didn’t mind it, in fact I was actually hoping for that. Their jolly spirited countenance was going to pass on me eventually. And they were kids, it was their job to run wild. But at their mother’s voice they stopped their enthusiastic race and turned towards her. One look from her was enough to prove them that a behavior like that wouldn’t be tolerated. She then in a more mild way said: “You can’t behave like that. You are not at home now. So, behave.”

I smiled realizing where the problem lay. I knew she wasn’t strict as to forbid them to have fun. But this time around she was worried as to whether it would bother me. She was trying to just make sure that they would cause me trouble during their stay. Thoughtful and considerate all the way. That was always Mary, so this was no surprise.

However, since I had no problems with them doing whatever was their wish, I said: “Mary it is okay. I don’t mind it.” She looked at me, her gaze telling me that she was wondering whether I was saying it out of pure courtesy, so I insisted: “Really, I don’t.”

Vegard was only observing us throughout the entire situation, not saying a word. Mary took off her jacket laying in on the sofa. Following her example both Matthew and Jane did the same thing. Now that they were comfortable, settling into their seats, I said: “What are you going to drink? Do you…”

“No, Bard, we have to get going soon,” Vegard interrupted me swiftly.

“Vegard, it is only a cup of coffee. You can spare thirty minutes,” I said, insisting on what I was set in the first place.

I knew he was more than eager to finally go to that trip. After all it was written all over his face. However, they visited so rarely that I thought it would be nice to sit down for a while and I wanted to do it. I was lucky that Vegard was in good mood and had no wish of arguing. He went along, contemplating to my wish, with the words.

“Okay, fine. Coffee would be nice. For me. The kids are too young for that.”

I smiled at that. Not because it was particularly funny. I did it because of the reactions in the room. Mary smirked at the comment and the kids looked at Vegard, asking him whether they could try the coffee as well. So instead of making a joke, Vegard managed to make a problem out of his witty comment. I knew it would be a hard job to convince the kids to give up on the idea unless he managed to find another source that could prove to be a distraction and provide him with a way out of the situation. My gaze and Mary’s as well, were both fixed on him, as he tried to pull himself out of the situation he so thoughtlessly caused.

“No, no coffee for you. That is only for adults. Kids shouldn’t drink it or they will grow a tail.”

At that Matthew reacted enthusiastically: “Yeah, a tail. Awesome. I want coffee.” And after those words, no way Jane was staying behind with that, so she joined in the plea.

“It is only for adults,” Vegard insisted.

“But, daddy. We are adults,” Jane said, sadness traceable all over her voice. She really seemed to get to Vegard.

“Yeah!” Matthew was quick to confirm his sister’s words with a decisiveness that couldn’t be easily broken.

Trying to avoid tears on his daughter’s eyes, Vegard went on: “Yeah, but not… I meant… Just…”

As entertaining as it all seemed, I couldn’t watch Vegard stumble and sweat anymore so I said: “Well, I tell you what. I will give you an option now. And then you get to choose. It is either a bar of chocolate for each of you or you get to drink a small cup of coffee. But mind you it is very small.”

It was an offer that they couldn’t resist. As much as they wished to try and find out what coffee is, chocolate sounded more attractive. And even if they had chosen the coffee, there was no way I’d give them that. It would end up to be a cup of hot chocolate. It was a scam, to rescue Vegard who was drowning more and more with each new word. That however had nothing to do with the way he always was, it was the distraction that played tricks on him now.

Both Vegard and Mary looked at me. They were kind of crossed at those words. I imagined it was something to do with the fact that they both thought that I was irresponsible enough to actually give the kids coffee. I had to point out what I thought, without the kids actually catching up on that.

“It is not something that will actually happen. Mary, what are you having? And Matthew, Jane… Have you made up your mind? Chocolate or coffee?”

They both made a grimace as if they were still trying to make up their minds and then turned towards one another, whispering something to one another deciding what to do. In the meantime, Mary asked for a cup of coffee as well. I wanted to get the answer from the kids, before turning my way into the kitchen. And, they soon enough reached a conclusion that Matthew would like to have the bar of chocolate and Jane was in for the cup of coffee. Oh, they were good – getting both the things and most likely splitting them afterwards. I looked at Mary and then I turned towards Vegard. Through a smile, I said: “We tried to avoid one discussion and now landed into another, completely different from the first. Apparently, Matthew and Jane just signed a treaty. The ‘Atlanta’ pack. I get the chocolate and you get the coffee and then we share.”

As I said that a mischievous smile appeared on their faces, even though their plan was revealed. Both Mary and Vegard were smiling along with me, and then Mary said: “I knew they were smart, but this is beyond any expectation.”

“Yeah, but I am smarter,” I said, as if my ego was bruised.

I looked at Matthew and Jane, with a sad face. I knelt in front of them and said: “But, I told you that you can’t have both. Remember? Either you both take the chocolate or both get the coffee.”

Jane seemed somewhat puzzled, as she was most likely rewinding what I said, trying to recall what was actually mentioned previously. Matthew, however, being the older one right away fired: “You said no such thing.”

“I didn’t? Hmmm. Let me think.” I furrowed my eyebrows, placing my hand on my chin, pretending to be puzzled. I went on, accepting that I was caught in the lie: “Yeah, I didn’t say it. But I said it now. So, it still counts. So, once again, which one are you choosing?”

In a matter of seconds everything was decided once again and chocolate was chosen as the wished pleasure. I asked them to follow me to the kitchen so that I give them the promised treat. As soon as they got it, they ran out towards the living room and I remained in the kitchen to make the coffee.

Upon my returning in the living room, I was met by Vegard and Mary sitting in silence. The kids were out of sight. Nowhere to be seen, probably off to play one of their self-invented games. I left the tray on the table, placing one cup of coffee in front of Mary and the next before Vegard. They both received it with a ‘Thank you’. While doing so, I asked: “Where are the kids?”

“Taking a tour around the house. I think they went upstairs.” – Vegard commented.

“Okay. So, Mary. Did I pass the test?” I looked directly at Mary, as I took a seat as well. She returned the look, appearing to be puzzled.

“What test, Bard?”

“Well, with the kids. Are you going to be okay with leaving them with me for a week?”

“Oh, that…” she whispered, when she saw my point.

Vegard cut in the conversation, saying: “We had a talk about that. Mary was reluctant to let them stay with you, but after a while we agreed it was going to be just fine.”

“I was not reluctant!” Mary defended herself strongly.

“No, okay not reluctant. Unwilling is more precise.” Vegard teased his wife. She looked at him, her look softening as she landed her eyes on him. With a smile on her face, she mumbled one ‘Whatever’ towards him and turning to face me, answered my question: “I think you will manage. But that doesn’t mean that I won’t be constantly calling to check in on you. So, think about what you are doing. Agreed?” she inquired, pointing her finger at me.

“Oki, no life threats, I beg you. I will do everything as you ask.”

“Well, you know the deal. We have left them at your care for so many times. Just good meals and enough bed time. You will manage right?” Mary went on.

“I’ll find a way. Don’t you worry about it. You two just have a great time.”

Vegard jumped on his feet at my words, saying: “Speaking of which, since we are finished with the coffee, I will go to the car and get the stuff for the kids. And then we must get going, for real this time.”

He left the room and when the sound of the front door closing behind him reached the living room, Mary addressed me – her voice lowered to a sound of a whisper: “I have to ask you something. But, don’t tell Vegard I did it. Okay?”

“Okay…” I doubtfully said, hoping it was not something that I couldn’t keep away from my brother. “Why are we whispering?”

“Cause, I don’t want Vegard to hear us,” she continued in the same way.

“But, he is outside,” I said, still not lowering my voice.

“Still, he could come back any minute now.”

“Which is why you should ask me right away.”

Not taking any other pauses, Mary rushed in to ask me right after I finished my line.

“So where is he taking me anyway? You must know,” she stated raising her eyebrow quizzically and after an instant, seeing that I am not responding to her question, continued: “He told you, didn’t he?”

“Actually, no I don’t know exactly. He was on and on about it the last couple of days, making a fuss out of the entire matter, but he never actually mentioned the location.”

“Oh, come on. He shares everything with you. Don’t tell me that he didn’t tell you about this, please.”

“No, seriously, I have absolutely no idea. Everything I know on this subject is pretty much the same thing you know.”

“On what subject?” Vegard’s voice made both of us jump. He has entered the room and was now leaning on the wall, staring at us. I didn’t want to tell him, since Mary asked me not to; but I also didn’t want to lie to my brother. That was the last thing I would ever do. But I could simply avoid the answer and shift it to Mary. Which I did only by looking at her. Trying to get her way out of it she said: “Density of materials. Nothing you need to know. You got the things?”

She changed the subject like a professional, although she was far from being one. Without actually getting in too deep with explanations and simply making Vegard uninterested in the topic. If it were a normal situation he would get all nerdy and devoted to the subject in hand, but now he was all distracted and that played in Mary’s advantage. Still, knowing her and the fact the she was a horrible liar, I was almost convinced that she would admit the truth as soon as they are alone.

“Yeah, I left them in the hallway. Bard will take care of them.” At which point he shifted the look from his wife to my face, giving me a provocative smile as only he could. Then raising his voice he called on the children: “Matthew, Jane we are leaving!”

That was a stimulation enough for them both to come running down the stairs, leaving their hiding place, wherever it was. The pain of that thought hit me immediately, since I knew that it would be left on me to figure out the hiding place.

When they got down, joining us, Vegard gave them a tight hug and kissed them on the forehead, after which it was Mary’s turn. Along the hugs and kisses she said: “Okay, be good and listen to your uncle. Don’t cause too much trouble. We will be in touch. Okay?”

“Yeah, mum,” they unanimously said. After another hug, Mary parted from them and took her jacket heading to the hallway. She got to the door, at which point she turned towards me saying: “Take care of them Bard. Make sure they go to bed early and just tuck them in nicely. Check in on them during the night, because they sometimes throw away the covers. Make sure they eat enough. Pay attention on fruits and vegetables. And don’t let them eat chocolate. Also, don’t let them run wild. They can get hurt. Just so you know I threw in a baggie of medicine. Also, the homework and…”

At that point Vegard interrupted her, placing his hands on her shoulders pulling her towards the door, saying: “Come on, Mary. Let’s go. Come on. He can take care of them.”

I could partially understand that spill out of words. She was a mother and it was the first time she was parting with them for that amount of time. She was just trying to establish my capability of being well informed as to be able to go through this week. Vegard’s words and nudges weren’t helping, since Mary was still standing at the same spot.

“Mary, I believe we entrenched that I can do it.”

Now I laid my hand on her shoulder, below Vegard’s giving her a little push as I said: “We will be okay. We will stay in touch. And you go and have a wonderful time, for goodness sake. You deserve it. And you owe yourself to relax for a little while. So you two do that and I will have everything under control.”

As soon as they walked out of the house, I followed them closing the door behind my back. I planned of walking them to the car, but I feared that if the kids came along Mary was going to give one of those long speeches and Vegard was already growing impatient.

He ran to the car opening the door of the passenger’s seat for Mary. She was following him and at that she sat down in the car, addressing him a light smile. She seemed fine when they arrived, but that motherly worrying instinct was now kicking in and her mood was falling down. But, I was sure that Vegard will find a way to cheer her up soon enough. He ran to the other side where I stood waiting to say ‘Goodbye’ and when he did, he gave me a hug, while saying: “Thanks for this, Bard. I appreciate it. And the help as well. I owe you one.”

I smiled at that, I had heard it before. That expression. Only whenever I tried to remind him that he actually said it at one point he never believed my words. I had to tease him, he just let the words fit right on the spot.

“Mind you, you just said you owe me one. So, next time I come asking for whatever it is that I need and I remind you of this promise, you better remember it.”

“Very well, brother,” he said, not failing to roll his eyes at me, while opening the door and sitting inside the car, behind the wheel. “I will remember it. Have a great time with the kids. And practice a little.”

“Yeah, thanks Vegard. You both have a great time.”

“Call us if there is trouble. Bye.” He started the engine in a roar.

“There won’t be any trouble. Call me when you get there.”

He drove back, exiting the driveway and then he drove away. I had my eyes fixed on the car right until it was lost from my sight and at that point I headed back in the house. I locked the door behind me, inhaling a deep breath. This was bound to be a difficult, though surely an interesting week.

The silence was prodigiously present as I moved through the hallway. When I stepped into the living room I realized why. The kids weren’t where we had left them. In fact, I couldn’t see them anywhere. Or hear them for that matter.

“Matthew, Janie…” I pitched my voice, holding my breath in hope that they will reply. I called them out once again, but I heard no movement, no whispers, no laughs… Nothing, which meant that I had to find them on my own.

I groaned, sinking my face into my palms. I had no idea where to begin, which was a huge discomfort at that point. I ran my right hand through my hair, placing the other on my waist. I helplessly looked around, still hoping that they would come out running out of some nook, despite being absolutely sure that it wasn’t going to happen.

I began thinking as to where they would hide. Kids would like it to be comfortable, yet hidden enough. Must be somewhere… At which point I simply stopped. Even with that I wouldn’t be able to think like them, which I was sure I wasn’t capable of, I would still be looking for a needle in a haystack. My house wasn’t a palace, but it wasn’t small either. And there were a lot of corners where they could sneak.

I didn’t want to let go and wait for them to come out. It would be certainly something I couldn’t do, but even if I could it would still be disrespectful towards Mary and Vegard. Particularly Mary. She would kill me at the thought of doing that, let alone actually contemplating to such a thought.

So, I began with the quest, since it truly seemed to be one. I focused on all the secret places they had used before, checking each and one of them. After frustrating half an hour, I was growing impatient and was close to screaming like mad; but then I recalled Matthew saying once that my room had the best hiding places in the house. And I hadn’t checked there.

My hope invigorated again, as I headed towards the bedroom. I slowly opened the door and closed it behind me. I didn’t want them to sneak out behind my back. No way was I letting that happen, in case they were here. I looked around, even threw a glance under the bed, checked the bathroom and when I was done with everything I could think of I began giving up entirely. I was in mild desperation. This was so not funny. And I would have been truly worried to death, had not have I known that they were definitely in the house.

I sat down on the edge of the bed, exhaling in discomfort and I faced the wardrobe that was in front of me. And then I saw a pink material caught in between the two wings. Jane was wearing a pink tutu when they got here and I had nothing pink that could be placed there, as far as I could recall.

“Christ they hid in the bloody closet. How did they even know that the section there was empty?” I thought to myself, as I got up, heading to open it and get them out of there for a nice dinner.

I meant to put on an angry face, but as soon as I saw them tucked inside, my lips widened in a smile. I couldn’t be angry at them even if I wanted to. So, I just said: “There you are. Get out of there. It is dinner time.”

Almost too obligingly, they both left their hiding place, slightly disappointed that I managed to find them. We headed towards the living room, and then I asked them whether they would like me to order pizza. I had food at home, but I figured that they would categorize most of it as inedible. I made a mental note to remember to do some shopping tomorrow and get what they want.

“Pizza. Yeah!” Matthew exclaimed almost immediately and Jane had nothing against it either.

The thought of dinner soon overlapped the disappointment of the spoiled game. As soon as we got down I ordered the pizza and in matter of few minutes it was delivered.

I tipped the guy and we eagerly unpacked the pizza, digging in deep. My hunger surprised me. It seemed as if it had blown out of proportion, beyond explanation. It was only when I gave it a little thought that I recalled that this meal was technically my breakfast. I have been so lost in various different things this entire day that I even forgot that my body required food to operate.

I was only thankful, that I ordered three boxes instead of the planned two. It was supposed to be our breakfast as well, since I had to go to university the next day. Still, after taking the kids to school I would still have time to do the shopping and then have more than enough time to get ready for my next class. I now regretted that I spent the entire day without bothering to prepare the lecture, postponing it until the last moment. It was a lament, but it was too late to change it.

I was compelled to leave it for the next day, the kids required attention. Unless, I could find something that they would both like to do; so that I could work on the lecture tonight. Those thoughts remained along with me during dinner. After I was stuffed and the kids said they were no longer hungry, I put aside the remaining food and cleaned up the table.

While I was doing that, Jane took out a notebook out of her backpack and set herself on the sofa. Matthew took the remote control and switched on the TV, placing the channel on some documentary about computer games. They both seemed to be happy with their location and I smiled that they fixed that for themselves and that way made sure I had the availability to work in peace. I still had to check in whether they required something.

“Jane, Matthew, what are we gonna do now?” I asked.

“I will write in my diary now,” Jane enthusiastically replied, a genuine smile which only a child can produce beaming on her face. Matthew, with the remote control still in his hand, said: “I am gonna watch TV, if it is okay.”

“No problem. You guys do that. I have some work to do. Do you want me to get something for you? Drinks, any refreshments?”

“Nope, I am fine. I will get something myself if I need to,” Matthew answered after what he addressed all his focus on the TV screen. I wasn’t going to insist, he has been here and knew where everything was, so he could take care of that by himself. Jane, however, looked at me and softly asked: “Uncle Bard, is there apple juice?”

“Of course, princess. I’ll get some for you.”                    

I brought her the drink, for which she thanked me with a charming smile on her face and lowered her look in the diary, once again furrowing her eyebrows and continuing with the writing. I took my books and began on planning the lecture. The kids were in the living room all through. They were enjoying their activities and I dedicated my entire focus in the thing in hand with a plan to finish it by the end of the night. I was nearly to the end, when the ringtone of my phone woke me up from the trance.

I looked at the clock on the wall and it said it was ten past eight, which confused me. I hadn’t even noticed that hours have gone by. I checked out the callers ID and it was Vegard, however when I picked up the phone it was Mary’s voice that reached my ears.

“Hei, Bard. Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, it is all fine. Jane is writing in her diary and Matthew is watching TV. Did you arrive?”

“Yeah, we did. Did they have dinner? You didn’t let them eat too much sweets?”

“We ordered pizza for dinner and I gave them nothing sugary apart from the chocolate I gave them while you were still here. Relax, it is fine. So, Vegard’s surprise. Now that you know where he arranged it all, what do you think?”

“It is amazing, but I can’t stop worrying about…”

I cut her in the middle of the sentence, because I knew exactly what she wanted to say: “The kids and I are fine. We will manage. Jesus, woman, just relax…”

I heard a nervous laugh at the other side of the line. It was a good sign, so I went on: “Would you like to talk to them?”

“Yeah,” I heard an enthusiastic, eager shout. It was now ringing in my ears, as I passed the phone to Jane with the words: “Mum is on the phone.”

The spoke for a while, after which the phone was passed over to Matthew. He was less interested in conversing with his parents and passed me the phone soon after he received it.

“Mary…” I said expecting her to reply to me. But to my surprise it was Vegard on the other side of the line: “She passed me the phone after finishing the talk with Matthew. Is everything okay there?”

“Yep, absolutely. Did she like the surprise? You calm now?” I asked, at which he answered: “Yeah, so far so good. I will tell you tomorrow, when I you know…”

“Okay, you lovebirds have fun,” I teasingly said, just before adding a simple ‘Talk tomorrow’. We ended the conversation there. I went on with my work and after an hour or so later I was satisfied because of a job well done. I could sleep without worries tonight.

Soon after I packed my folder for the next day, Jane started yawning and Matthew followed right behind. So, I send them off to bed in their rooms giving them time to get dressed and brush their teeth. I checked in on them, tucking them in – first on Matthew and then I checked on Jane. After closing the door on her room, I smiled at the thought that crossed my mind. It was meant to be a long crazy fun week. And I truly was glad to have them over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it. Thanks for reading. Comments/kudos are appreciated.


	7. Catherine: Frustration

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here goes another chapter, not betad though :) Enjoy, and comments/kudos are more than welcome.

“Good God,” I miserably thought to myself, as I glanced at my wrist, detecting the baring on the watch I was wearing, while hastily entering the house and prudently restricting myself from slamming forcefully the door behind my back. I reflected on the notion that it usually took me about ten minutes to get from the university to the house, noting that this time around I was home in less than five. I guess the horridness of the day had some partial influence in the haste with which I returned, mostly powered by irrevocably building fury coursing through my veins and burning my skull inside out.

It was not so astonishing having reached my destination that quickly, I might say that I was even expecting it considering just how much I was in fact pissed off. The nerves all over my body seemed to be resolutely active, registering every annoying detail to the very maximum and that was in no way a pleasant feeling. At that point, I couldn’t even remember the last time I had been so upset over a nonsensical particularity.

Adela met me in the hallway, as she was heading out to the university for her own lessons, her gaze locking on my flushed face addressing me a swift, yet gentle smile. She had everything ready, already prepared and was most likely only expecting my return, in order to greet me before she would get going, her bag was clutched in her hand, as he cheerfully asked: “Are you done for the day?”

My mood was basically a desolate ruin and I was feeling down, yet another day in a row of quite a many, so much so that I could even say that I was desperate and annoyed, and consequentially without thinking for a more than a second, I angrily spat out: “I am done for the year.”

She caught on my horrible atmosphere right away, given that it was an easy thing to do after my irrational words of complaint, my foolishness actually reaching the level of worrying over something I should even ponder about. As though it was something one could do as easily as it was said, ignore how one felt was never effortless, and it was just as if I radiated negative vibe all around me, a certain type of a radioactive particle. At least, it was how I felt.

Adela’s face immediately morphed into a worried expression, and unfortunately, her cheerfulness disappeared in an instant. And, so did her smile. Since I had reached the very point at which I ended up hating everything and everyone, myself included, I couldn’t help but feel bad for being the actual cause for such drastic change in my new friend’s features. However, before I could apologize, she inquired, concern rather detectable in the few syllables she uttered: “What happened? Is everything okay? Are you okay?” she wondered, greatly emphasizing the ‘you’. I rubbed my eyes, after which I allowed my hands to sluggishly rest on my hips, before reassuring her. “I am fine. Or, at least I will be. I will tell you everything when you get back.”

She was still looking at me, quite obviously puzzled, and when I gave her a lenitive nod, she bent down to put on her sneakers. While she had her focus settled on that, I remembered that I still didn’t know her schedule by heart, and therefore I asked, as calmly as I could manage: “When do you start?”

She gave it a hesitative thought, before mumbling the reply. “Ahm, at two o’clock.”

As soon as she was done tying her laces, she energetically got upright again, her face automatically turned in my direction, just as our unwavering gazes locked, and she added: “But I will be back at five and we will talk about whatever has you in this mood, okay? Just calm down and take a nap or a bath or drink some tea – whichever helps. Mum and dad are out. They said they will be late and said not to wait up, so you have the place to yourself.” A nonchalantly suggestive wink was addressed to me, before a shy smile appeared on her lips, rather consequentially inquiring if the comment was standing at the right place, hoping to not have crossed some line. Not quite sure as to what I could reply, I shook my head, a smirk not failing to accompany the comment, easing my tension partially, and I took my queue to mumble: “I imagine a combo of all that will help. You go now. Or you will be late. We will talk later. Bye.”

“Bye,” She mused and slipped out the door, leaving me to the silence of the empty house, which I gladly welcomed. A part of the key to my relaxation was silence, so I embraced it as I took my shoes off, sighing as a mode to throw the repressed wish to scream out of my system. The exhale echoed in the halls of the empty house, its spaciousness a provider of a reply, which ironically after reaching my ears once again turned into a satisfying feeling. I climbed on the second floor, my knuckles unavoidably white from angrily clenching my bag with all the force I possessed. I became aware of the very fact only moments before I reached for the doorknob and got the door to slowly open before me, the squeaking sound both irritating and funny, as I used the opportunity to shake off my hands in the air with the sole intention to relax my fingers, while entering my room.

When I closed the door behind my back, I leaned to rely on the door with my back. I didn’t want to move from my position, enjoying the unhurried pleasure it brought. I was tired, the idea to study certainly far from any thought whatsoever, and the peacefulness of the room successfully manager to wash away the arrogantly built up tension in my muscles. Another sigh slipped out undetected, and I only registered it after rang in my ears, so since the stress I felt was winding down, I didn’t want to bother myself with thinking of the things which occurred during day, very much enjoying the feeling of refreshment that my unfastening mind was sinking into. The happenings of the day were in no way forgotten, but were decisively put aside since I considered that running back from the university entirely filled with annoyance was enough worrying for the day. That is, until Adela returned and forced me into conversing with her, something I was positively sure she would do moments after breaching the door.

I pushed myself away from the door, grunting from the displeasure which leaving the comfortable position brought, and dropped my bag on the only available chair in the room, which proved to be the one standing resolutely in front of my desk, letting it land with a thud. “I will unpack the books later. I will take a shower now,” I silently mused, impatiently starting to get rid of my clothes one piece after another.

When I slipped under the blazingly hot water, every uneasiness seemed to get lifted away. The water tickling my skin was secretly preforming a refreshing massage making the shower one of the most relaxing I had had in a long time, and as an aftereffect I felt unexplainably better, tolerably relaxed and it was that good in fact, that right after I put on my clothes, I felt an enormous urge to take a nap captivating my each cell. Just as I lowered my head down on the pillow, feeling the softness of the contact which the linen pillowcase inserted on my cheek, I felt myself drifting away.

***

I woke up at the muffled sound of my ringtone, instantly growing puzzled as to circumstances that have provided that, before remembering that because of the dealings of the day, the phone was still located in my purse, as I had entirely forgotten to take it out. As I was getting up to see who was calling me, I felt a little grateful that I managed to fall asleep and get some proper, although insufficient rest.

The screen illuminated my face and the first thing I saw once my gaze landed on the screen, stabilizing my vision, was my mum’s caller ID. It took me a while to get the device out on the open, since the phone as always managed to hide in the full bag so well, deep in the corridor of mess my bad never failed to be, that whenever the necessity for urgency appeared it would pretend to be quite the stubborn device and wouldn’t give away its location, this time around no exception to the rule, ringing and buzzing like insane, yet well hidden to stay undisturbed for a while, making it impossible for my numb fingers to get it out in time. Doomed, the call cut off just as I was about to pick it up, my mum probably thinking that it is pointless to continue waiting, given that I might be in class or am simply not registering the call.

Through the dizziness of my thoughts I typed her number and I called her back right away, taking a seat back on the bed. After only an instant she picked up, greeting me. I was glad to hear my mum’s voice, even though I did talk to her that very morning. I knew that those short stolen moments of phone calls were costing a fortune, but I couldn’t help it all together and mum needed those immensely, as well.

I tried to greet her as cheerfully as I could, trying to hide away the hoarseness of my voice. “Hey, mum. How are you?”

“We are well, Katie. Fred just got back from school and we are about to sit down for a lunch. How are you? Is everything well?” Mum sounded well, much better than I had expected. Considering everything, she was rarely in a cheerful mood, which made me immensely glad that she sounded better. It was simply that far too much was clinging on her mind and she had more than enough troubles landed on her soul. Consequently I was glad to finally hear her jolly voice, even though it was only over the phone.

“I am fine mum. Everything is great. Have a nice lunch,” I whispered, knowing that by the end of the line I will entirely forget to mumble a few words for a nice meal, and felt as though it was completely unnecessary to worry mum with stupid troubles from university, not when she couldn’t do much to advise, except maybe the usual calming, reassuring lines. Besides, it was not as if there was a huge problem, it was simply small nonsense that got to me. It shouldn’t have, but it did and I had no intention of bothering mum with it. Not when she was finally happy.

“What are you up to, Katie?” she said, interrupting my thoughts that so foolishly roamed away.

I dismissively shook my head, plenty of time to ponder over unimportant things later. “Oh, I just got up. I was tired when I got back from university and I needed a rest. Adela was headed to her classes and the rest of the family is out for the day, so I dozed off for two hours, after taking a bath,” I explained, summarizing the entirety of the day in couple of words, the account of which indispensable for mum, while throwing a look at the clock hanging on the wall opposite me, doing my calculations, as I went on: “And Adela has one more class, so she should be back in an hour, give or take. So, I am free for that period of time. So, maybe after you finish lunch, Fred could Skype me and we could talk more. I haven’t spoken with Fred in more than three days now and I am really eager to talk to him.”

“We could do that, sure,” Mum confirmed, her cheerfulness getting the best of her as she asked me: “You know what just happened here?”

“What? Is everything okay?” I asked, the alarm of worry slowly lighting itself, despite my mother’s obviously good mood. I was still sleepy and that had some effect on the logic and reaction sections of my brain, which even in my full concentration occasionally failed to provide a decent enough observation.

“No, yeah all is fine. But Stephanie got engaged yesterday. She is getting married in a month,” my mom exclaimed, allowing the news to take me by surprise, for a surprise it was. A sigh of relief escaped my lips, but one of indecipherable astonishment joined in, as a wave of both utter amazement and overwhelming pleasure overtook, as I, to my entire disbelief, succeeded to phrase out: “Wow, really? I must call her and congratulate her on that. David must be thrilled.”

“Well, he finally managed to convince her so I imagine he is recklessly happy about it. You know, you will have to come over for the wedding,” she didn’t fail to remind me, as though a reminder was needed.

“Yeah, I know. A cousin doesn’t get married every day, now does she? Especially Steph. I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” I exclaimed, feeling my mood improving with each new second, both me and mum sharing a nonsensically girly moment over the newly scheduled wedding. “Do you have any idea of what we are going to get for them?”

“I have no idea, but you don’t have to worry about it. I will take care of it.”

“Okay, mum you go and have lunch and I will get down and make myself a cup of tea. When you are done, tell Fred to call and we will talk more. Agreed?”

“Yeah, sure. We will do that.”

I ended the call and took my phone with me down to the kitchen. It is not as if someone would call me, but I still wanted to have it beside me in cases. I prepared the tea, the warm substance feeling my senses with the smell of chamomile as I was sloppily holding the cup between my fingers on my way back up to the room. I fired up my laptop and the first thing I did was signing in on Skype. Fred was still offline, which was understandable. I was just glad that I was online before him, much better option would be me waiting rather than have him jokingly criticize my lack of keeping up with his speed.

As I was scrolling down the friend list, I noticed that Stephanie was online. She still hadn’t gotten around to letting me know of the engagement, but since I was successfully informed of the shocking news, I took the opportunity to congratulate her on her engagement. I video called her and in a matter of few seconds she answered. I didn’t wait for her to say anything, and so I was the one that began. “I hear congratulations are in order. We are to hear wedding bells soon. I am glad for you, Steph. I hope you will be very happy.”

“Thanks, Kate. It is madness around here. People keep on calling and stuff, so I didn’t have time to tell you. Sorry for that. But I see that you got the news,” Stephanie’s cheerful voice was screaming to me that she was more than enthusiastically ecstatic, and it was obvious rather that the house was in an absolute mess from the buzz that I could hear over the line.

A smile played on my lips, as I detected the hyperactive state she was in. It was nearly wildish. “Yeah, mum told me only minutes ago. I planned on calling you, but I saw you here first and thought this would be better, since I get to also see you and the ring as well. So, are you happy and crazily enthusiastic?”

She was glowing, her entire face was lighted up, and it seemed nothing could dim the contentment she was inundated in, convincing me in a brief period of time that I just might be in need of a nice guy myself. “Yeah, in fact I am. It is strange. I was never the marrying type but I kind of like it,” she thrillingly cried out, wildly waving her hands in the air, doing some type of flight of the bumblebees, or rather chasing insects away, in a hilariously charming way, moments before placing the ring in front of the camera so that I could get a glimpse at it.

A slender golden band with a single diamond in a round stone shape was decorating her finger. Both graceful and elegant, this ring complemented Stephanie’s hand to the fullest. David was right in picking the ultimate classic engagement ring style and knowing my cousin’s taste I knew it also contemplated with her wishes. It was giving the right amount of eleemosynary which an engagement ring had to possess, which made me believe that he might have had some help with the choice of a ring – his sister being the first and most likely possibility. Still, it was a beautiful ring and he did love Stephanie; therefore making me incapable of being rude and enquiring after my supposition.

“Wow, the ring is beautiful. And what do you mean kind of like it?!” I exclaimed in return, my compliments on the ring lacking to depict how I actually loved stunning design, though I am sure she could see it in the twinkling of my eyes. “Judging by the blush on your face, girl, you love it. How is David? Is he thrilled as you or is he becoming aware of the consequences of his actions?” I jokingly asked, adding drama to what I said by strongly emphasizing on my words. I was relaxed about it since knew she wouldn’t take it for granted, after all we were close and we always joked in that manner, besides in all honesty in their relationship he was, without a doubt, the one who never contemplated running away.

“Oh, it is early for that. I think he will grasp a hold of it a few weeks before the wedding. But then I will be the one what won’t let go.”

“Oh, I know that,” I nodded nimbly at her alert remark, quick-wittedly adding: “Stubborn you are, I am sure you will manage.”

It was no more than seconds that my cousin was sent into a wild laughter, most likely by the happenings of the day rather than my attempt at a witty comment. When she eased on the laugher and I was convinced she could hear me, I continued: “Say ‘hi’ to David from me and congratulate him as well. I am just sorry that I won’t be there to help out with the plans as we agreed when we were, what, 5 years old.”

“Oh, it is okay. Never mind that, but I am sorry too. Preparations will start soon, so I might be contacting you if I had forgotten some of the things we had planned back in the day,” she teasingly added, complying with my words, while cocking her eyebrow at me. I chuckled at her expression, shaking my head gladly as I became aware that all the tension I felt during the day was by then long gone. It was the simple workings of a conversation with a loved one that could produce such a quick and efficient outcome.

“How is university? Did classes start?” she inquired, which confirmed what I had long suspected – my capability to jinx things at the exact moment was more than real.

“Yeah, they did. It is fine, but it is still the beginning. I will soon begin the complaints, don’t worry,” I uttered, thinking to myself that I had more than enough to complain about already. Still, I was in no way planning to break the merit that the splendorous news spread.

Stephanie rolled her eyes, as she whispered: “Well, at least you get to be away from this boring city of ours. How is the family that you are staying with?”

“Oh, they are great. We found our tempo and Adela proved to be great, just like I predicted. At least that is operating as I expected,” The words slipped out before I even managed to register them. However, I did feel the regret washing over me in only few moment. I was only hoping that Stephanie was far too thrilled to register it.

“Wait? What do you mean? What happened that you didn’t expect to?” she wondered, catching up on my words despite my hopes. She knew me well, maybe even all too well. We were constantly together since little girls, so it was no surprise.

“Nothing really, it is just that few strange, surprising things happened since I got here. That is all,” I prompted swiftly. I could hear someone calling out Steph a few times, while I was saying that. She could hear it also, because she waited for me to end and the next moment she said: “Something is going on. I have to go now. But we will talk soon and you will tell me what happened.”

After that she abruptly ended the call, without any verbal response from my side. I was glad that it happened, since I was in no mood to explain things, nor did I have the inclination to do it. Some things I wished to keep for myself. Meeting Bard, the way I did, on the first night of my arrival being one of those things. Other’s I wished to forget – my horrible Norwegian teacher included.

I let my hair down and took my brush to comb it, all the while recalling the events of the night I met Bard and the first class. Somehow, that managed to overpower the importance of the nuisance of the month that my new teacher proved herself to be. I simply was not able to get Bard out of my head. It was strange that he would get drunk as he did. For one, success wasn’t lacking in his life.

‘He has a job, one that he seems to enjoy and like. Even though he is without a family, or he appears to be calculating the lack of ring, he is in no way lacking ability to one day have one. Being handsome as he is, I am sure that everyone notices him wherever he goes, especially the ladies. I noticed him and recognized him as a handsome face, so since those moments don’t happen often for me, it truly means that he couldn’t skip the radar undetected,’ I registered my mumbling only then, completely parting from all deemed as... well, not reckless to be honest.

Those features couldn’t be easily overlooked and I was absolutely certain of that. ‘So, why would he actually have that ring of desperation in his voice? What was the thing that caused such sadness in his life?’

A blasting sound from my laptop interrupted me in the middle of my wandering thoughts. As I raised my head and looked at the screen, I became aware that it was a call from Fred. Not that I expected anyone else to call. I let go off my brush, placing it next to the computer, and I took the call immediately. My brother’s jolly voice greeted me: “Hey, how are you?”

He and mum were in front of his computer, sitting in his room both, intensely staring at the screen.

“Hey, Fred. I am great. You?” I replied with the same enthusiasm, given that I was happy to finally manage to find some free time to talk with my brother.

“Awesome. I got back from school and had lunch and now I will take care of homework.”

“Oh, really?” I sarcastically asked, confused at his eagerness. As far as I could remember, my brother had never in his life been so enthusiastic about studying, and that wish to study was puzzling even for me even though I knew him best.

“Yeah, I promised you that, remember?” he mused, the words leaving his mouth in one single breath. It got clear where the key of that unnatural desire to study laid once he said those words, exactly right after he said it. It dawned on me, and I recalled our agreement, the one we silently signed the day I left for Norway. If he did it – study hard and help mum, I would always be at his disposal. That was the deal, and he was trying to keep to his side of it, and apparently doing it quite successfully in all honesty.

But what he didn’t know or didn’t have time to realize was that I would always be at his disposal, whether he chose to study or not. After all, he was my brother and there was no way I would leave him without my support when it was needed. I was just glad he didn’t succeed to through my words, and grasp ahold of my actual reasons for proposing just that.

Snapping out of my thoughts, I smiled at my younger brother, saying: “Yeah, I recall it. Oh, mum, I just spoke with Stephanie. She seems beyond herself. I didn’t think that she would be so thrilled of the entire thing.”

“She is. Very and I was astonished too. I thought she hated the whole institution of marriage all together,” she said, her last words sounding more of a question rather than a statement.

“She did, for the past ten years or so. Or, at least that is what she kept saying. Seems like David changed that for her.” Amusingly enough, there was always that one guy that just made it all worthwhile, and apparently, it happened when one least expected it.

“I suppose he did,” mum nodded her agreement, and judging by her gestures she had the wish to add something else, as well. However, before she could get anything out, she was cut off by my forever impatient brother, who didn’t seem to enjoy the conversation we were leading. Not that I was blaming him, a wedding wasn’t the best conversation topic for a boy his age.

As though I needed a confirmation to what I thought, my brother didn’t fail to comment: “I want to talk about something more interesting than that. Aren’t you going to ask me how school is going? Because I have a small test soon and I need your help.”

“Which subject? Help with what?” I hastily shifted my attention to Fred, he seemed to need it somewhat more than the simple, ordinary conversation with mum. I figured that we could cover the gossiping bit about Stephanie some other, more conveniently chosen moment.

“Math is the problem. We are learning about similarity of figures and application of similarity along with some theoremsand I have some difficulty with that, so I was thinking that you could explain things to me over Skype during the weekend.”

I smiled, recalling how much I had to cover myself, and upon realizing that university classes had been easy on me I agreed without second though. “Okay, we will take care of it. So, aside from school is there anything else that you want to talk to me about?”

“Well, a lot of things,” he enthusiastically exclaimed, startling my mum, after which the conversation turned into a marathon, during which we changed a few topics, whose exact number I couldn’t keep a track of. I ended the ‘Britain news’ program my brother was entertaining me with when I heard Adela arriving from university, and after I swiftly shut down the laptop I headed downstairs to greet her.

Adela moved towards the living room, as I descended the stairs and I silently accompanied her. She placed her bag on the floor next to the door, carelessly dropping it, and allowing it to land with a thud, and took a sit. I followed her example, and took a seat as well. Without delay or a pointless exchange of any polite mumblings whatsoever, she brought up the topic we left clinging open that afternoon.

“What happened today that had you so upset when you got home?” she wondered.

“Norwegian classes,” I burped out right away. “The professor is absolutely insane. I mean…”

Cutting me in middle of the word, Adela said: “What is her name? She is from our section I am sure.”

“I think she said it is Inga Gulbrandsen, or something” I hesitantly said, her name being a challenge enough for my lack of knowledge with anything even remotely related with Norway.

“Oh, she is insane all right,” Adela didn’t fail to comment quite sardonically within seconds, making my eyes go wide from the shock. I did expect that she could know her, but there was not a single chance that I could have even imagined, let alone predicted, that Adela would coldheartedly, yet decisively say those exact words. I was recovering from the shock, as she continued: “So, go on. What did she do this time?”

“This time pretty much meant it is a constant follow up on,” I shook my head, the thought in no need of a continuum, as I began to explain: “We had three classes all in all. At the end of the lesson, she closed the book saying, and I quote: ‘You should probably start communicating with natives soon. The lessons we had today covered simple sentences and vocabulary is a matter of personal effort. I imagine that in a week of two I will start speaking Norwegian on the lessons also.’”

Adela simply chuckled, but I felt the annoyance igniting in me once again. Yet, I didn’t stop at that. I had to elaborate the situation completely, so a bit more fiery I added: “I mean what is that all about? She barely even wrote on the board. She showed us the normal introduction things, the present tense and some other words and that is pretty much the entirety of the poor three classes we had. How in the name of Christ am I to communicate with people in a language I have never spoken before?” I increased the intensity of my words, as I, without a whit of doubt, felt the frustration once again waking up in me, my each nerve wildly dancing over my body, only to compliment the sense of trimming perfectly.

Adela sighed. I presumed that since she agreed with what I said, and doing so in less than three seconds, she actually knew my new professor quite well and the way she operated as well.

Trying to calm me down, Adela softly said: “Relax, breathe. I know exactly how you feel. I had the misfortune to be in her class and hear those exact words. Just don’t let her get to you.”

Once my ragged breaths evened out slightly, Adela addressed me a smile and went on: “Inga is weak on her knowledge. She got the job through connections. So, instead of teaching properly, she chooses to joke around with students not teaching them a single thing and failing them all the time. But, you could go to some other classes, follow the lectures with another group. Or, if you have a book according to which you should work, I could help you out when we are both free.”

“Extra lessons could be a good solution,” I confirmed, realizing that such idea could be worth trying, under the condition they lasted less than four hours. It would have been great if I could actually go through those in just half the time, which I imagined could be done, only if I had someone to work with properly. Yet, that someone was not Adela. I couldn’t bear to take away her time, because of my bad luck.

Not wanting to insult her though, I gently through a smile tried to reassure her that I would manage, even though I still had no idea how I would do it. According to my belief it would take a miracle for me to even pass the exam. “As to you helping me out, I don’t think that could work. Have you seen our schedules? We are buried with lessons and so far through the week we have had lessons at a completely different time. And during weekends we both have to study, but I can always sit in on different lectures. I will find a way. Thank you for the offer though. It was sweet.”

“Still if you ever need help, you can count on me and I can try to explain things for you,” she honestly said, and then turned the topic towards the professor once again, telling me: “Just don’t let her get to you. She has always been like that, and the more indifferent you are the better for your nerves. And a few advices. I have to tell you those.”

I felt as if I was in an eminent threat of going crazy, and would eventually end up in being in a need of a council, I placed my entire attention to the words Adela was about to say. The certainty that the necessity to use them sooner or later would definitely immerge made me pay close attention to every single one of her words.

“First of all, never show off. Even if she asks an easy question you know the answer to, just skip the answering. Don’t say a word, because she will remember you and that is never good, unlike with any other professor. She considers it to be showing off and she despises show offs. I am sure that sooner or later she will give you that speech. If she directs the question back to you, the best thing to do is lower your gaze and just say that you don’t know the answer.”

It was only a minute of depicting, and Adela said so many things that I truly felt that I would be in need of a notebook where I could take notes as to be able to remember it all, believing it to be all. How I wished that I was wrong, and how I repented on my thoughts as Adela continued: “Second, even though she definitely told you that you can interrupt her whenever you have questions don’t do it. Never. Doesn’t like that either. When it comes to her writing on the board, don’t ask what it’s written even though you don’t understand a single letter. That is considered to be an insult to her handwriting. Then never skip her classes – always be there in front of her and wait for her to leave before exiting. There is a lot more of those, but long story short never ask about anything at all. Just go there, sign your name, pretend that you don’t understand a single question, be still and quiet and if there is anything you need help with – ask me.”

“Oh, man that lady has quite a list. I can feel it that Wednesdays are going to be a torturous madness,” I stated, nearly singing the last few words, musing silently that it was a bliss the following day was in fact a good one, well as far as the architecture lessons were discussed. I shook my entire body in discomfort, cringing at the thought of the actual irony in teaching your own mother tongue thanks to connections, trying to discard the creeps that were sending jolts over my skin. I knew I would regret it once I hear the answer, but I had to ask: “What about the exams? Are they difficult?”

“No, she makes them easy; most likely because she is bad at the language herself. Even though it is her mother tongue, I have noticed her making a few basic mistakes. I don’t even want to consider those from difficult grammatical tenses,” Adela speeded up through the words, and I felt my body relaxing. At least, there was that – one positive reply, one that suited me. All hope was brought down to the easiness of the exams. I smiled, nodding my head at the only trace of luck Adela’s latest words delivered, as I heard Adela repeat once again, more purposefully this time around: “You just really can’t let her get to you.”

“I will try that. At least I didn’t seem to break any of her rules today. Oh, man,” I sighed, breathing out the last syllables, the thought of changing the subject crossing my mind almost immediately. “Can we talk about something else, please?”

“Yes, please!” Adela exclaimed. “I think dinner conversation would be nicer. What are we going to eat?”

“I have no idea. Pick something and I will simply join in.”

Dinner went nicely and our conversation stirred towards much pleasanter topics, in our mutual relief. After the dishes were washed, we caught a good movie on TV, and fully dedicated our attention there. I was certain it would end up one of the few I will manage to watch during the semester, so I was determined to enjoy it and make it count. The credits were running, when the doorbell announced that Adela’s mum and dad got back home. Some small talk with them developed, as well and as soon as I could, I excused myself and withdrew to my room.

Despite of the afternoon nap, I felt unexplainably tired and went to bed as early as I could convince myself to stop studying, trying to forget the horridness of the day. The one thing that cheered me up, was that the next day I had a lesson in architecture and it was something I couldn’t wait for with much patience. I was looking forward to seeing him, and his calm pacing up and down the amphitheater, while he did his best to depict what he had on his mind. I smiled at the notion, as I scooped up under the blankets and let myself drift away to sleep.

***

Packing my bag took longer than I had expected, which was undeniably understandable given that in the last second I made a decision to head into the library and dedicate the remaining time of the day concentrating on Norwegian, instead of returning back home right after classes. However, before submitting myself to such an arduous ritual, I had a class I was gladly expecting over the last two days, and I was not going to allow anything to ruin it in the slightest. I was hoping that it would cheer me up and give me at least some energy, and much of a needed hope before I dive into the misty waters of the Norwegian language.

Unlocking the door with as little noise as possible, I rushed out of the house, running down the few stairs, and jumping the last three landing on the pavement and continuing my way towards the university hastily, cursing myself for timing out the organization so terribly wrong, and desperately hoping that I wouldn’t be late. I wouldn’t have minded it back home, but I didn’t need the embarrassment of standing in front of a full room here as well, I already had enough of it, as it would seem.

Once I reached the grounds, I headed towards the amphitheater without any delay, and when I turned just around the corner, entering the corridor, I saw the professor standing only few steps away from the door. There was no way that I would make it before him, not even if I ran and made a total fool out of myself. Again.

“Damn it,” I whispered under my breath, clinching on my bag with annoyance. Nevertheless, to my entire luck, his phone rang and he stopped right in front of the door, his hand sliding into his pocket, locating the device and taking it out. Without knowing that I was watching him, he mumbled: “I thought I turned it off.”

I continued my walk towards the classroom, towards him. He guided his phone to his ear, picking up the call in the meantime and as he still didn’t notice me, he exhaled. “Hei, Mary.” It was kind of wrong to eavesdrop on him, but I was going that way and he did say it pretty loudly. In my defense. I had even no idea as to why I was looking one in the first place. But Mary. I didn’t think he was married, so she must be a girlfriend, or maybe just a friend. Yeah, a friend calling at eight in the morning, sure. Keep telling yourself that.

“Mary, everything is fine. Jesus, woman, how many times will I have to say that?” he asked teasingly with a smile painted on his lips, after which he turned his head, snapping it in my direction so suddenly that I had no time to look away. As his gaze landed on mine, he furrowed his eyebrows, probably at the realization that he was not covering every rule of privacy, and I irrefutably felt a blush overweighing my features.

“This can’t be happening. Why did I have to stare?” I regretfully thought, persistently keeping my gaze locked with his. He, on the other hand, turned blank serious. I politely smiled at him, nodding in his direction as a greeting, hoping that that would soon be forgotten. I was nearing the door, and I hurried my stride wishing to reach my destination, slip in the room and escape his consecutive gaze. As I got to the door and grab the doorknob, turning away, I heard him say: “Kids are at school, Mary. I have a class now. We will talk later.” and after a short break whispering: “Yeah, bye.”

“Well, I managed to get in class before him and there is the benefit of that awkwardness.” I was nearly glad at the lucky charm, and then I recalled the last thing he said. Kids? I simply assumed that the lack of ring would mean he is not married and the getting drunk that he is single. I never, in the slightest, thought that he might be married and even have kids. So, that information was an enormous surprise, and now I was even more confused as to what this guy was thinking when he got drunk.

He followed in, placing his folder on the desk as I took my seat and the class began properly. I was focused on the lecture, since that time around it seemed to be much better than the first one, and yet at every break my mind immediately wandered off to those thoughts. Him, married, kids, drunk… I simply didn’t understand it at all and therefore I entirely gave up on trying to. If only my mind would settle on the idea of having an unresolved issue at bay, and thus it would all prove to be completely perfect. Only, it is easier said than done, since my brain racked to come up with an explanation, the question not letting it all to rest.

When he traditionally asked if there were any questions, I knew it was an indication that the class had come to its end. Once we were dismissed, I packed my things and left the amphitheater, making my way to the student’s restaurant to have breakfast before beginning with my work. I imagine I could have done without the food, being used to spending more than a day without food, as a consequence to forgetting it, but the reluctance to begin with Norwegian was overpowering, and the desire to avoid it was strong enough to make me take a small, what I kept telling myself a irrelevant detour.

When I finished my breakfast, taking a considerable, and unnecessary amount of time to do so, I bought a bottle of water and a couple of candies knowing that I would be in need of refreshments. I quietly entered the library, taking a seat next to the window, and spreading my books on the table before me, basically placing the conundrum as to what to begin with, on the open before my eyes. Given that there were other times when I felt helpless to the same degree, I figured it just might work, decided to give it a go, and finally discovering the optimism that laid well hidden, began to write and rewrite and translate and scribble all I could perceive on the notebook. And, that was only the annoying beginning.

At one point, when the enthusiasm of the begging began decreasing, I noted that I was simply tired, and that chocolate might do the trick. I tried that, drank some water and even opened the window to get some fresh air. Unfortunately, none of it seemed to help me get back on track, supposing that I was on it at the very start.

The level of excitement evaporated after another half hour of desperate attempts, and another wave of edginess ran down my back, becoming more than what I could bear. It was more than difficult, as painful as I found it to admit it and as hard as it bruised my ego, and there seemed to be no way I could learn a new language from the scratch all by myself.

I could notice the spring of tears that started building up in my eyes as the tension I felt started enhancing. It had to be let out somehow, before it drove me mad. I wouldn’t allow myself to cry over classes, never over that and being in a library meant screaming was in no way an option, so I threw my pen on the table, quietly jumping up on my feet and pointlessly running my hands through my hair trying to get rid of the creepy feeling.


	8. Bård: After Hours

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Cas! Because I am glad someone is reading this story :) Thank you and enjoy!

Imagine my surprise when the first thing I saw after stepping into the library was Catherine. Well, it was her throwing a pen away, and jumping up from her seat in a rather zealous manner. I knew the feeling, being familiar with it for quite a while now, so I was in no way judging her. Only, the thing which I had on my mind constantly, and especially when I met up with her, was that I didn’t, and in no attempt could, understand how she managed to be all over the place. I met her everywhere, wherever I went, wherever I looked, and I didn’t know if it was just a blunt coincidence or whether my eyes started separating her from the crowd unconsciously. I was willing to persistently attempt to convince myself it was the first.

Even though that anger did wonders to her appearance, it was in no way good and completely out of character for her impeccably calm demeanor, from what I had gathered in the few moments we have shared, so I had to approach and check whether everything was going well. Or, at least that is what I told myself. As I was closing the distance, she ran her hands through her hair, moving a few strands away from her eyes, and I was only inches away when I heard one, small laconic sigh escape her lips. It was one tiny sound which was a hurricane of feelings, all whirled up in it, disappointment being the most dominant one.

She didn’t seem to notice me at all, not that her peripheral vision would have been able to detect my tardy movements, because right after scratching her neck she sat back in her seat, lowering her head into her palms which now rested on the table. It was only the hands which separated her from the table, and I was about to speak up, when suddenly another more silent exhale echoed in the room, and her body seemed to slightly relax from the, only now detectable, pressure.

The certainty to approach her, which I had held only moments ago at the moment when my gaze first landed on her, was at that point gone, and I found myself standing right behind her, my gaze fixed on her, hesitant whether to say something or simply walk away. I did want to talk to her, engage in any form of conversation whatsoever, only I felt as though I was standing at a crossroad, undetermined and without knowledge as to which road to choose, believing that she might find my approaching, out of the blue, not so much unnecessary, as odd.

“Helvete,” I mumbled under my breath, muffled enough to remain undetected, realizing that either move was not exactly a life changing decision, and consequentially decided to simply give it a go. I didn’t know how to call her out, nor did I have any idea as to what to say, so I placed my hand on the desk, partially for support as I leaned over, and while looking at the books that laid spread there, doubtfully uttered: “Miss Fox, is everything okay?”

 _‘How weird that sounded. Miss Fox,’_ I silently mused, my eyebrows knitting subconsciously, regretting my choice of words almost immediately. However, it was done and there was no way back. Foolishly, I minded for letting it slip in such a hasty way, having enough time to think of something at least slightly more, well in a lack of a better word, eloquent.

However, once she looked at me, understandably a bit surprised to hear someone address her, I forgot what I was thinking, and the nonsense behind such a lame worry. She fixed her gaze on mine right away quite decisively, though her warm eyes such as I remembered them seemed a bit more distant, and after a short pause and an intake of breath, she said: “Yeah, just fine.”

Hesitation was in no way lacking her expression, but I had no intention on further insisting upon knowing what the matter was, when she didn’t have the wish to discuss it. Well, with me at least, and since I had no right to bother her, and it seemed like she has had enough of being bothered I readied myself to walk away. In most circumstances I would have insisted, but I didn’t know anything about her which could be a bonus to the situation and gave me much needed advantage to calm her down. Besides, she was entitled to her privacy and I was painfully aware that we were not close enough so that I could have some excuse to continue the conversation.

Just as I was about to leave her all by herself, and return to what my initial plan was, her gentle, momentarily weak voice stopped me: “Not really, to speak the truth.” She abruptly paused there, as though considering what to say next, leaving me clueless as to know how to approach the problem, oblivious of the situation I couldn’t help so I patiently waited for her to continue, which she did after what appeared to be an eternity. “I can’t understand a single thing. I don’t get any lecture,” she whispered, flickering her gaze out of the window, her eyes radiating distress.

“You have a problem with architecture classes?” I inquired, planning on offering help if her reply ended up being affirmative, only to be astounded by the bitterly sweet chuckle at my words. As sweet as I found her smile to be, it had me quite confused to say the least. I pinned her down for a way to serious person, nearly never smiling, always shy, but her reaction made me think that there might be more to Catherine than what I initially suspected.

“I wish. If I had a problem there I’d sit down and figure it out. No, it is Norwegian classes that I don’t get. Not a single word the professor says. I can’t understand her. And I don’t get your language,” she amplified her voice at the end, giving a reinforcing strength to the last sentence.

I should have figured that out by myself earlier, and I would have, had I have not been so focused on her, since it was those very books which were thrown all around her. The notebook which remained open in front of her was full with words and incorrect sentences, some of which she even crossed out herself, proving that she was at least trying hard to make something out of the rules, even though the writings were mostly wrong. I titled my head, as my gaze landed on the bottom of the page, glancing upon the very edge of the notebook, whereupon the last thing I noticed was written in bold and genuinely made me laugh.

I started chuckling softly – havens forbid to ask where that got picked up from, given that I was entirely sure it wasn’t from the classes – as I grabbed ahold of the chair and sat beside her. It was certainly something I did without invitation, nevertheless I believed it wasn’t unwelcomed, and so I placed my things to rest on the table, fixing my gaze on her, still giggling childishly which wasn’t the wisest I have done, but it couldn’t be helped. She snapped her head in my direction, and shot me what seemed to be a both questioning and a scarily angry look, which luckily didn’t discompose me. I simply returned with a soft glance, as I hovered with my hand over the page, resting my hand at the border of the notebook, with the intention to point out the bolded word at the bottom of the page to her teasingly. I intentionally inclined my head in that direction, eyebrow cocked, tapping my index finger on the notebook as I said: “You seem to have gotten one word correctly.” Pretentiously, I remained silent, waiting for her reaction.

The smirk on my face widened even more, if at all such a thing was possible, as she confusedly gazed upon the bolded ‘Faen’ engraved in the paper. As angry or confused about my reaction as she might have been earlier, it all changed in only a moment. Inference, a light blush crept up her neck, coloring her cheek in a pinkish shade, which so perfectly complemented her eyes, suiting every little detail on her face. The benefit of it was that somehow I gained some partial valour, as to have the sufficient form of encouragement as to, in a teasing manner, continue: “Don’t get me wrong. It is a great start, though I don’t think it will be on the exam.”

She turned my way, a complimentary smile directed at me, as she looked at me shyly, running her fingers on the skin of her neck. It was that action of nervousness and incommodity again, one she showed at the most unexpected moments, to have the belief of having it gone contradicted. My observational wandering of the line of thinking was broken as she said, plea ringing in her voice: “Don’t. Please just don’t. It is not funny. I am desperate.”

And, as she spoke those words, her face went back to that steady, serious expression she carried all the time, the constancy of which never wavered. It seemed like a good moment, and reasonable enough a question, to ask her if anyone could help her out with the studying, and so I did, at which, as a reply, she only shrugged her shoulders and said: “No, not really. The only person I know here is Adela, but both of us are busy and I wouldn’t want to inconvenience her. She offered, but still. Besides, when I am at home she is at university, and vice versa most of the time. And we both have to study during the weekends. I can’t take out of her time without feeling remorse, regretting for bothering her with my troubles.”

“Can’t you sit in on other lectures with some other group?” I continued the conversation with yet another question.

“I could, but that would mean losing another extra four hours of the week. A time I can’t spare that easily,” she blurted out, her look flickering to rest somewhere in the distance, out of the window once again. She bit her lip, as a strand of her hair parted from the group to partially hide her face.

“Well, skip those with your group and go to the others instead,” I suggested, even though I was sure that she had thought of that, as well. It simply seemed like a nice way for her to continue talking to me, without me being pushy.

Catherine shot me a glance, directing it without hesitation. It was new for her, it was the first time for me to see such decisiveness on her face. The resoluteness would have taken me by surprise, if the next thing she added wasn’t something out of character for her as well. What caught my attention was the anger in her voice, as she added: “I would, if Inga Gulbrandsen wasn’t the professor.”

And then I understood what the problem was. Catherine didn’t stop only at that, in fact, with the same anger in her voice she continued the explanation. “She just walks in, says ‘Hi’, shows you the book, mumbles some stuff in front of the board while you are trying your best to hear her even though it is complete silence in the room and then tells you that the next class she is speaking in Norwegian, because you ought to understand it by now,” she mockingly said, clearly trying to imitate the person that stood behind those words whilst shooting her eyebrows up high, and then continued: “As if that is any way possible? What does she think I am – a genius? Well I am not. And I hate it that she couldn’t explain one thing and all of a sudden expects me to know the whole deal…” And then she stopped brusquely, her voice breaking in the middle of the line, her eyes shifting from my look, getting lost somewhere again and returning back to fix in my look as she turned her face towards me petrified.

I immediately turned around like a guilty kid who was caught red-handed while stealing apples from the neighbour’s garden, trying to see whether her professor was somewhere around and has heard what she said. I thought that such fear in Catherine’s look could only originate from there, being a consequence of such a situation. But I was entirely wrong, since as I looked around I realized that there was no one close to us, let alone that there stood the supposed person.

But as I looked back, her gaze was still on my face, her look still radiating that same amount of fear. Her mouth fell open, as our gazes once again met, while she was gasping for air, her breathing shallow and fast. Her skin was paler than what I thought it to be humanly possible, her breathing unstable and her fingers trembling. Truthfully it was beginning to scare me, so I immediately asked: “Are you okay?”

“What am I doing?” she whispered, still trying to catch her breath. “What in the name of God am I doing? She is your colleague… You will tell her… What?”

I smiled when I became aware of the base of the problem. It seemed a normal fear, but an unfounded doubt. I would never be capable of doing what she said, but still she didn’t know me enough to be able to judge that. At least, there was the possibility of calming her down. I looked straight into her eyes, searching for a connection between our gazes. Once I established one, I felt comfortable to reassure her of her believes, by saying: “I would never tell her. You shouldn’t worry about it at all.”

She began to calm down, her breaths evening out slowly. That fear she felt earlier began to disappear and it started being replaced with what seemed to be warmth. Yet another surprise for me. Of all the things I expected doubt to be the next emotion, but there was no trace of any on her features. A soft smile played on her lips, as she asked with a tremble in her soft voice: “You wouldn’t?”

“Never. If it makes you feel better I can join in the insults,” I made it out for a joke, sarcastic tone of voice to make her smile, even though my statement was more than serious. Her brows furrowed, sending me a quizzical look, as I went on: “She was an assistant back in the day I was a student. I have felt the same things on my back so I know exactly how you feel. And I know why you say what you say. I have said worse things, believe me.”

She started smiling, her smile capturing the better of me. It was the first time I had seen her smile without restriction. So honest, so real, so sweet. She addressed me a look, while her soft laughter was still filling the space around us. I had no idea what the reason for that outburst was, but I smiled along. My smile was somewhat shy, until she jokingly said: “You are crazy.”

“For trying to cheer you up?” I asked, pretending to be insulted, my hand immediately hitting my chest. She did smile at it and so did I, awaiting for her to say something.

“For listening to me. And my nonsense,” she exhaled, her expression returning to her previous state of sadness.

She threw out the discomfort, so she could give it another try at the language. I meant to help her out, even though she didn’t directly ask for help. She was planning on studying now. I had some spare time, my work at the library could be postponed and I couldn’t do much work before seeing the plans I needed anyways, so I thought maybe that trying it out wouldn’t hurt. So, I began: “Go on then.”

“Go on with what?” She looked at me, her expression blank.

“With that. What is the problem?” I asked, but she still seemed to be confused given that her face was still contorted into a grimace. She was definitely not catching up on the fact that I was offering to help her out. So I clarified things in a short line. “You need help, I have free time. Perfect match.”

With slight disbelief, she whispered: “Seriously? You are offering to help out?”

“I seem to be. Yeah.” I nodded, smiling at the innocently confused face that was in front of me. Her eyes seemed to light up at the confirmation, a tiny smile visible at corner of her lip. More confidently I added: “We can give it a try and if I help you - good, if I don’t - you didn’t lose anything by trying. Get my point?”

“Yeah, okay. Sure, we can do that,” she enthusiastically exclaimed. She took her notebook and placed it in front of her, deeply exhaling before saying: “Though technically, we will have to start at the beginning, since I don’t know anything.”

I grabbed the book, and replied at her words: “Okay, just don’t expect much. I am an architecture professor and even though I know my mother tongue I might not be qualified enough to explain it. All I am saying is don’t get your hopes too high.”

After throwing her a quick glance, a smile dancing on my lips, I lowered my gaze and dedicated my focus as I scanned the first pages of the book. By the scribbling solutions of the additional exercises, I was aware that those pages were the ones they have passed. So, it was me trying to see what it was that they were studying and then I also checked the notebook to see what they had taken during the classes.

It was astonishing to see that they have went through that much of the language in only one class, that I was hoping that my jaw wasn’t going to unconsciously drop at the shock. It was a material that our students were working on for a month, those that have spoken the language their entire lives. I was puzzled, but knowing who the professor behind the lectures was it didn’t have me that confused.

I began by explaining her the basics of the language, the way the verbs worked. I was glad that there was a similarity to English, which I could use to clarify things for her. She followed me constantly at the beginning, drinking in every word I said. I liked it, because it meant that she wanted to learn and was trying to understand it.

At some point she would start writing down something in her notebook, urging me to continue with the explanations. At first I was doing just that, not looking down on what she was writing. At some points her hand would continue moving on the paper, although her gaze would be fixed on mine. I became curious as to what it was that made her write down five pages and even turn to the sixth. How could she write registering what I said along the way?

As much as I wanted to believe she was listening to me, I couldn’t help the intruding nagging sensation that she might be doing just the opposite. I didn’t want my time wasted, even though it was me that offered to help. I also didn’t understand where the attention she was placing in my words at the beginning disappeared, so I stopped in the middle of my sentence and snatched out her notebook from under her hands a bit rudely, to speak the truth.

She glanced at me as I did that, astonished at my movement, asking me: “What’s wrong? Why did you stop?”

Imagine my surprise when I glanced upon five pages of my exact words. Everything I said was neatly written, the most important parts – the ones I emphasized – even underlined. I glanced back at her again. Her face was serious, her posture indicating that she was still awaiting my reply.

“I thought you weren’t paying attention. How did you manage to write all this?” I couldn’t help the astonishment that rang in my voice, the voice itself maybe even decorated with tiny a trace of embarrassment.

“Ten years of practice,” she shyly worded out, slightly uncomfortable by the confession.

I didn’t see a reason why she should be. The ability to do something like that, at that speed was completely impressive. How she managed to do it was beyond my knowledge, therefore I wanted her to explain it, making me to all too impatiently ask: “And how did you manage?”

“I am a PhD student. Writing like crazy is sort of a requirement. You should know, since you were one.” A joke was the last thing I expected her response to consist of, but I found that I actually liked it. “I used to do it in class all the time. At first I could catch just a few words, as a slight note. Then I managed to capture a few lines at a time, soon it all progressed into writing down entire paragraphs.”

“But do you manage to always achieve your goal?” I kept insisting on knowing, the extent of my interest making her smile, as she continued with her explanation: “Most of the time, yes I do. The thing is, no matter how fast the lecturer speaks I don’t give up. I am persistent. Always – especially if I am interested in the topic or I like the class. Eventually it escalated to me being able to write nearly everything down, pretty much like right now.”

Even though I did threw a few glances in her direction during my classes, I never noticed her to take any kind of notes. In fact her glance was always addressed to me or was resting on the board, which had me wondering whether that meant her words regarding the interest in a class were indicating that my class was not interesting enough for her.

The answer I was requiring was meant to satisfy my curiosity and probably heal my secretly wounded ego, but I didn’t want to seem too rude in abruptly asking her, so I simply went about it the best way I knew – with a joke: “So, I should be insulted then?”

“I don’t get it. Why would you be?” she asked, her eyebrows furrowed in a questioning manner.

“You never write anything down in my class, as far as I have noticed,” I noted, examining her face expecting some shift or change in her expression. I couldn’t catch a single thing, therefore let without any other option except maybe proceeding with a question: “Architecture not an interesting subject for you, huh?”

Through a chuckle she said, a little defensively: “What? No… I do it in your class as well, only I am staring at the board and simultaneously writing. That is probably why you haven’t noticed it.”

“Maybe,” I concluded, kind of blaming myself for saying it even though I knew she wouldn’t hold it against me. She didn’t seem to be one of those people. Or rather, I hoped that it wouldn’t be held against me. I gave her back the notebook, apologetically smiling and went on with the explaining for just a little while, since we were right to the end. When I finished I asked her whether I managed to help and whether I cleared things out for her.

I could detect the enthusiasm in her voice, as she jumped up to answer me right away.

“You are kidding me right? Of course you did. This,” she indicated, waving around with her notebook. “This will help me with everything. I remembered half of it already. It is strange, I don’t know how it happened. But thank you.”

“You are welcome.” I nodded, glad that I managed to be useful. It would have crossed my mind that she was being nice and saying that it helped so that she wouldn’t insult me, but the honesty behind her words and the smile on her lips clearly stated that it was in no way possible.

 _‘It ended up not being such a bad idea after all,’_ I thought, before catching on to her soft voice nearly whispering: “No really. Thank you so much.”

“Anytime.”

She smiled at that and so did I. It seemed that ‘ _anytime’_ was slowly becoming our word. But, this proved to help her and I had fun, so I didn’t mind if we went on with it.

“So, is this always your free time? After my class?” I knew it must be considering that either she was losing a class or she had free time. But since she had prepared the books to study, it couldn’t have been the first one.

“Yes, it is,” she confirmed.

“When is your next class today?”

“I don’t have one.”

“I don’t have one either, so we could use this day to work on your Norwegian. I mean, that is if you want to continue working on it with me?” I gave emphasis on the last sentence, so the statement ended up being more of a question. It was her decision only. I had no intention of influencing her whatsoever, since it was her that either benefited or lost from it.

I imagine it would have been much of a blow to my ego and it would have disappointed me if her reply ended up being a ‘no’, but I didn’t push her into a decision. So, when she said ‘Yeah, I would love to.’ the happiness that within seconds built inside of my abdomen was as pleasant as much as it was a surprise.

“So, how much by a class?” she asked. It was a question I didn’t quite follow, mostly because I was trying to explain it to myself why I felt so bloody excited, like a teenager, that she accepted my offer, so I simply asked: “How much what?”

“Well, you are not going to work with me for two hours for free, are you?” she looked at me teasingly, but when she noted my expression her eyes slightly widened in surprise. It seemed that she thought it to be strange, which I imagine from her perspective was. However, money was the last thing I needed. I especially didn’t want it from a transfer student who was probably in need to save up money, not give it away for extra lessons. Anyhow, I wouldn’t have offered if I didn’t plan it to be for free. If it was supposed to be a money issue, I positively would have waited for her to ask.

I wasn’t going to tell her that, but I had to ask what the reason for her astonishment was: “Why are you so surprised? Why wouldn’t I?”

“Because… I don’t know.” She shrugged her shoulders, cocking her eyebrows along the way.

“You don’t really get the concept of help, do you?” I teased her in reply.

She chuckled and right after that I continued: “So, next Thursday same time and same place. Sounds good?”

“Yeah, sounds great.”

I had a plan on asking her something else, something I entirely forgot about when I heard the ringtone on my phone. As soon as my eyes landed on the caller’s ID, I realized I was in trouble. Huge trouble. I didn’t have time to think. I registered Catherine saying “Are you okay?” probably noticing the change in my expression.

I didn’t however had the composure to decently reply to her more than polite question, as I grabbed what I thought to be my things from the table and left her without so much as I word. ‘ _How in the name of God could I be so idiotic as to forget the children?’_ was all I could think about, when I rushed to my office to pick up my jacket and the car keys and headed to the parking lot.


	9. Catherine: Met Too Soon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I reread this chapter a couple of dozen times, literally and that is not an exaggeration. It is a horribly written chapter, and I hate it, probably due to the fact I read it so many times. Anyway, here you go. It came out longer than expected, so I guess there is a few things to hope for.  
> Comments and kudos are welcomed and much appreciated :) Thank you to everyone who is following and reading this story. You guys make me very happy! I will try to update more frequently, and I will force myself to write you a damn good chapter for next time :) Enjoy!

Thank goodness I had all my books closed and ready to pack, when hell took over him as he ran out of the library without answering my question and taking my phone in the process. I wanted to call after him, but as I was about to do that very thing I realized that I had absolutely no idea how to address him. His name was a little too personal, the word professor combined with his last name somehow too long to be used at the moment. I could have just used the title, but somehow that wasn’t much of a callout. Besides I couldn’t just go through the library screaming ‘professor’ after him.

It seemed I was left without any other option apart from storming out of the place in vain hopes of catching him, so I packed my things in a rush, hastily checking not to forget anything. I imagine I wouldn’t have ran after him under any other condition, but I desperately needed my phone back. I knew that mum or Fred could call me at any moment, so the recovery of my phone was mandatory.

When I stepped out of the library I impatiently looked around doing my best to spot him. The hallway wasn’t as crowded as I expected it to be, but it was understandable judging by the time. My disappointment only increased when I couldn’t recognize him amongst the few people that were passing by. Even though I didn’t delay leaving the place that much after him, I was still unable to locate him as I thoroughly scanned the hallway in both directions.

“How fast did this man manage to skip out and how am I supposed to find him and retrieve my phone?” I murmured in frustration, immediately afterwards realizing my mistake considering that there were people around me. I started blushing, which wasn’t anything new for me, as I snapped my gaze up to check whether my outburst attracted any attention. I was relieved to find everyone minding their own business, and not paying notice to the mumbling fool.

At first I thought to look for him in his office, but then I realized that it might backfire on me. There was a possibility that he didn’t go to his office in the first place, and even if he did I knew that by the time I got there, he would be long gone since he was both faster and had the time advantage.

The fact that he surely didn’t get at the university on foot, meant that there was definitely a car parked at the lot that belonged to him and if I rushed down I knew that I just might catch him before he left with my phone. So, with my bag over my shoulder I started running down the stairs, trying to avoid bumping into people and hastily apologizing when I accidently brushed someone along the way. Needless to say, I was completely out of breath when I pushed the door open and left the building.

I saw him approaching his car, just as I arrived at the parking lot. I hurried towards him, barely breathing, in hope that I don’t miss him after the marathon I ran. When I got close to the car, he was opening the back door throwing his things on the seat. I knew I was flushed, I could feel my face burning and my throat was in no better position either. The unbearable thirst, which was causing an ache in my throat, was preventing me to speak. Honestly at that moment I didn’t even know whether I would be capable of speaking in the following hour. I was certain if I were at home and had nothing important to say, that would have been the case. But as it was, I wasn’t left with much of an option.

As soon as he registered the hurried steps, accompanied by the heavy breathing; though himself in a rush he looked up and his gaze met mine. While trying to catch my breath and ask him for my phone; he beat me to the pulp and said: “You haven’t been running after me from the library, now have you?”

I thought the answer to that question was quite apparent and I would have replied ironically had I have been conversing with a friend, but this was my professor so I simply confirmed: “Yeah, I did. You’ve got my phone.”

“Oh, shit. Well can’t I give it to you tomorrow or something – it is somewhere in the back of the car. But I am in a rush. I am half hour late already,” he explained, reaching for the front door and opening it, impatiently waiting for my reply, before slipping inside.

“I wouldn’t mind otherwise, but mum said she will call so I really need it.”

“Well, I can’t look for it now. I have to be somewhere else. Had to be there thirty minutes ago, actually,” he hurriedly and somewhat angrily replied.

“Right. Okay, never mind. Go,” I mumbled, exhaling in a disappointed manner. I would just have to make do by calling mum from Adela’s phone as soon as I got home. It was unbelievable – I just ran three floors down to catch him and he was in that hurry so to not be able to hold on for a minute and give me back my phone. Dizziness was beginning to play with my mind, when I heard him say: “Get in the car.”

“What?” I asked again, not sure if I heard correctly, my voice hoarse as my roaming gaze once again landed on him.

“Just get in the car,” he swiftly repeated once again, and took the driver’s seat.

I thought about it for less than a second. During that time thousand different thoughts passed through my head. Most frequent of all was the ongoing struggle between getting in the car with my professor after university classes and the need to get my phone back.

_‘The hell with it,’_ I thought, as I grabbed onto the door handle, slipping into the car. He already had the engine started, so when I was inside when he just drove away. I fastened my seatbelt as I got comfortable into the seat.

We were out on the open road when I finally managed to catch my breath and recover from the running. He didn’t seem to register my annoying presence and was clearly driving over the limit. Either he was far too captivated into something that he didn’t notice me or he didn’t really care about it at that moment.

Me on the other hand. Well I was petrified, to say the least. I threw my glance on the hand over the gear-box, the long fingers loosened around it. He was driving at that speed without any tension whatsoever. My gaze was still fixed on the gear, when I felt the car turning left.

_‘Shit, did he just entered a crossroad in forth gear?_ ’ passed through my otherwise blank mind, and I could feel my breath hitching at that point. I tried to stabilize myself with a few deep breaths, before my anxiety grew in intensity, but I was incapable of doing so, since every next second I just saw blackness before my eyes. My fingers were trembling, my throat clenching and I pointlessly shut my eyes, stubbornly not intending to open them until he stopped the car. As if the closed eyes could possibly change anything. It rarely couldn’t, and my head began spinning, my insides twisting in a knot, and my brain screaming for the car to miraculously stop before we end up in an accident. A flash of familiarity crossed my mind, as I heard the familiar squeal of the breaks when he brought the car to a halt.

My wish to remain in one peace seemed to be on the edge of fulfillment, since soon after that thought the car seemed to slow down until it finally stopped. I forced myself to open my eyes, swallowing hard. I realized it was the traffic light that caused him to stop, not the fact that the person sitting next to him was pretty much having a seizure or a panic attack. Probably both.

So many questions roamed through my head. I was puzzled and certainly had no idea with which one to begin. I had to ask him though. First of all, who was Mary and what was I doing on my way to meet her? Why did he act as if the end of the world happened when he saw the caller’s ID?

But before asking that I had to go with the one my instinct needed answered. I felt that this speed would definitely cause at least the urge to throw up in me, and I had to let him know what I felt and how my stomach twisted each time he pressed on the gas pedal. I had to do it while this light was red, before he started rushing through the streets of Oslo with that speed once again and I lose the ability to speak.

I didn’t want to just throw it in his face, so I smoothed the question a little and indirectly said, the words coming out in a slight tremble: “Hey, do you always drive this fast? Or is it this particular occasion that has you in such a rush?”

For the first time since we sat in the car, well the first time I had noticed it, he turned to look in my direction. He opened his mouth to most likely answer my question, but stopped in middle of it as he seemed to notice something on my face. Something I didn’t know was there. The next moment he said: “Are you okay? You look pale.”

“You should open the window. Fresh air might do you good,” he impassively suggested, while shifting in first gear and continuing the drive.

“No, I am fine,” I lied, even I was nowhere near fine. In fact, I was terrified. So much so, that I felt the numbness of my extremities increasing as the stiffness was unwillingly settling in again, brought back on as a consequence to the renewed motion of the car. “It is the speed, I think.”

“And there is the most common ladies lie that exists in the world,” he mumbled under his breath, which for a moment there had me thinking twice before realizing what he actually uttered.

“Huh?” I shifted my gaze in his direction, becoming aware of his exact words, but still not comprehending the meaning of them all together.

“It is the most common,” he went about repeating his words once again, but before he could get the entire sentence out on the open I cut him off: “No, I heard that. But I don’t get your point.”

I opened the passenger window, the fresh air filling my senses, and making me sigh in relief.

Blissfully aware of the swamped road before us, an entire convoy of cars each going to their destination – leaving the road or emerging from the intersected streets – was slowing us down, and it proved a powerful cure for the spasms which were grasping on every muscle in my body.

“There was a research into the most used lies a while ago and this was the first one on the ladies list,” he explained, his voice as calm as ever, all the while not taking his eyes of the road.

“Doesn’t mean I am lying,” I defended myself, feeling the need to do so as if I was accused of conspiring against the kingdom. It was pointless to do so seen what I said was actually a lie and he was straight on the point. And yet, there I was defending myself, not planning on simply admitting it to him.

“Seriously?” his question sounded overwhelmed with concern. “You are pale as if you had seen a ghost. That is not fine.”

“I am fine. The speed is just freaking the hell out of me,” I tried to maintain the calmness in my voice as long as it was possible, when in all honesty I only wanted to scream.

“Why?” he asked, entirely relaxed, as if it was an ordinary thing to drive that fast. Uncertain whether he was ignoring the way he entered the crossroad or whether he didn’t even notice he had done so, I snapped my head in his direction, my eyes widening with shock at his words.

“Why?” I ironically exclaimed. “You entered a crossroad in 4th gear.”

“You saw that?” Turning his head in my direction, the surprise obvious in his gaze.

“Yeah.”

“Sorry, I will slow down. Didn’t mean to scare you,” he mumbled softly, trace of guilt in his expression and a ring of honesty in his voice.

Appreciation immediately awoke in me, after all it was not many people that would react in such a way. And, since I was in his car he could pretty much just stop at the end of the road and throw me out as a mode of getting rid of my presence. Yet, he not only adjusted his driving for me, but he also was polite and sent me absentminded smiles whenever he deemed it necessary. For it was rather obvious and understandable that his focus was entirely at some other place.

“It is okay. And I am not lying about it.”

He chuckled at my comment. The speed was one I could bear this time around, so I continued the conversation, even though I noticed that he was replying to my questions out of politeness and in fact was on edge all the while.

“So, are we meeting up with Mary?” I asked him, regretting it only seconds later. I had no business in his private life and no right to read his caller ID either. Shame washed over me, as he shot me a puzzled look hastily asking: “How did you,” breaking mid line figuring it out by himself and roughly asking me: “You read the caller ID?”

“Yeah, sorry. I shouldn’t have, I just, well, it sat there and I glanced,” I started mumbling, relocating my glance out of the window being unable to hold his steady gaze. I felt the blush creeping up my neck and reaching my cheeks, increasing in power once I heard him sigh.

“It is fine, never mind that,” he uncomfortably shifted in his seat, the rustling of the leather informing me of his actions.

_‘There is no way he didn’t get upset because of it. I should have kept my mouth shut.’_ My eyebrows were involuntarily furrowing, as I was trying to clear my dry throat without making any noise. Upon looking at him all I could notice was that he seemed to be furious, all about him said so. He went silent in a second, tensing up and his gaze got locked on the road ignoring my presence once again. I couldn’t find a single reason for asking that question and it turned out that I just made the person, who helped me out of the goodness of his heart, mad at me.

I sighed, beginning to grow nervous at the silence which awkwardly sneaked between the walls of the car, on my part at least. After reflecting upon my foolish nosiness, I was about to once again apologize – it was after all my fault – but he spoke before I got the chance to say what was on my mind. “No, we are not meeting Mary. We are going at my place. The kids have returned from school and there is no one at home to welcome them. They have no keys and I lost track of time, thanks to you.”

“Hey, don’t blame it on me.” I replied, glad that he was speaking to me and happy that I was mistaken in the reason behind his silence. “Why don’t the kids have keys?”

“I never gave them one, I suppose,” he whispered. “We are gonna be there soon anyway.”

Silence filled the car after his words. He focused his attention on the road and I didn’t want to continue disturbing him, but there was this nagging sensation and this question burning inside of my mind _‘So, you are married? And you forget the time your kids come back from school?’_. Nevertheless I chose to ignore it not meaning to sound rude and disrespectful by asking such a thing. There was no necessity to purposely make yet another mistake, or embarrass myself further. Still, this man was the equivalent of mystery, and even though I’ve been in contact on so many different occasions so far I still couldn’t get a hold of how he actually operates.

He slowed down after another five minutes of driving and entered what seemed to be his driveway. He hastily turned off the roaring engine, unbuckled the belt and left the car. I did the same activities, following his lead, only not as hastily as he did it. When I stepped out of the car, I properly threw my glance on the house before me. It was my first glance at it and the sight which welcomed me was a shocking discovery.

It couldn’t even be categorized as a house. I was standing in front of a mansion. It became clear to me why money wasn’t the issue and why he offered to help me out without being paid. There was no way he was lacking money, not with a place like that. He ran inside while I was awkwardly oogling the entire yard, but in only seconds he rushed back out, exclaiming: “Fuck, they are not here. Mary is going to kill me.”

I had no idea how he expected to find them inside, given that the door was locked and he himself stated that they had no key, but I imagine it was desperation that was making him more dedicated to acting rather than thinking. I wasn’t going to mention it, as much as I would want to tease him about it. I had been there, I knew the feeling and I wasn’t planning on judging him either.

I was only looking at him, helpless and incapable of doing anything which could help him, as he ran his hands through hair. A ring of desperation came from the sigh which escaped him, as he whispered into his palms: “I am horrible at this, aren’t I? An idiot. A damn idiot.”

He seemed so lost, so desperate at that point. His voice was at the verge of breaking, albeit the blame he was casting on himself, even though probable, was still unfounded. I just stood there immobile observing him, with no idea as to what to say or do. I was only observing the pain that shook his slender frame as his hands gripped on the hair, pulling on it. And I couldn’t help it but feel guilty for being the reason for the delay and being the one that caused all of that.

I was about to head to him and try to say something that could make him feel at least a bit better, if that was possible. It was after all the least I could do. But while I was approaching him slowly, I heard his name being called out of somewhere. Just one single ‘Bård’ echoed in the air. I looked around and noticed a boy running towards us from across the street. I swiftly glanced at both sides of the road, exhaling as I found no car in any proximity. Opposite of my calm reaction, Bård turned around towards the kid running in his direction and picking him up from the ground in a tight hug. As he hugged the boy a smile appeared on his face and all the worry seemed lifted from his shoulders. The very next moment he said: “Where is Jane?”

He didn’t seem to notice the woman, holding a girl by the hand, approaching as well. I presumed that was Jane and realized that my presumption was correct once he picked her up in a hug as well. I was still at the spot at which I froze when I heard his name being called out. It was so out of my comfort zone, particularly because I didn’t exactly know what to do or how to behave.

The chubby elderly woman, that appeared to be the neighbour from across the street, stood silently next to him. When Bård eased his grip around the girl putting her down on the ground again, the neighbour explained: “I saw them sitting on the porch and I thought you must be at work, so I called them at my place in case you get home late.”

Bård smiled at her, with that by then familiar smile which lit up his eyes with a warm sparkle, clearly thankful. “Thank you so much, Mrs. Ågot. I got held up at work. I really appreciate it.”

“No problem. It was my pleasure. Besides we are the ones that bother you when we need things repaired, remember?”

He received that reply with a chuckle and once again thanked her. She waved her hand at him and said: “Get the kids at home and make them lunch. They didn’t want anything from the things I had to offer. You have spoiled them, Bård.”

“I will see what I can do,” he said, greeting her goodbye, after which she headed towards her house and he turned my way. He tapped the boy on the shoulder and told them to get in the house, when heading into my direction. He smiled at me, intentionally inclining his head towards the car with the words: “Let me get your phone.”

I slowly moved towards the car following him, awkwardness setting in in me after having witnessed the entire scene. It seemed to me that he lead a hell of a life. And it was one I couldn’t understand at all. He searched through his bag and in a matter of couple of minutes of furiously throwing stuff in and out of it, he finally grabbed ahold of my phone.

He silently handed me the phone, right after he picked up his things from the car and closed the door behind him, pressing the lock button on the remote. I took my phone, a silent ‘thanks’ forming on my lips, as I immediately placed my gaze on the screen checking for missed calls. I was relieved to see that there weren’t any at all.

Upon looking up I realized that he was already heading for the house, his jacket and purse in his hand as he was slowly making his way up the stairs. A smile ghosted over my lips, as I turned my back and I headed down the driveway thinking of how to get back, since I didn’t pay much attention to where he was driving and had no idea where I was. Oslo was after all a new environment for me and I hadn’t had the opportunity to even go out. Calling a cab would be pointless since I had no idea at which address I was. Going back and asking was the best option, and yet I felt unwilling to do that very thing. All of a sudden I became aware that I was lost. Again.

Before I could bring myself to consider my next move, I the steps behind my back started appeasing. Within seconds, his voice reached my ears: “Where do you think you are going?”

I turned around, and in a mode of question stated: “Home?”

“Do you know where you have to go?” he asked, hitting the bull right in between his eyes.

“I was going to ask your neighbour. She seemed nice,” I whispered. When I lowered my head, fully routed and lowered my gaze, he softly chuckled. The win was his and he was fully aware of that, so after a short pause he said: “No way I am letting you go back home now, after I dragged you here in a rush – kidnapping your phone in the process. And no way am I letting you leave without lunch after the scare I gave you. Come on, please.”

As if his soft, pleading voice wasn’t enough of a convincer, he threw me a beatific look and a tantalizing smile played at his lips. That face was more that irresistible. I wanted to accept his offer – without knowing the reason. I simply did want to accept it, but I didn’t like the thought of having dinner in the house of my professor with his kids in the same room. It was… _weird?_ It was weird at best.

“Come on,” he once again pleaded, his eyes still fixed on mine, that same smile painted on his face. I only wished that he was less handsome and charismatic as he stood before me, waiting for my reply to his invite. Despite the rational decision upon which my mind was trying to make me reflect, despite the order that my mind was sending to my entire body – I nodded my agreement, a quiet ‘Yeah’ escaping before I could register it was even formed.

He gave me another smile and then swiftly turned his back to me and headed for the house. I followed him, reluctance still obvious in every move I made. What in the name of God was I doing? As I ascended the few stairs before the door, I was beginning to feel tension in my back, my hands. In fact, my entire body was beginning to tense up. It wasn’t right, what I was doing. It felt bizarre, weird and irrevocably wrong.

When I stepped into the house, the very appearance of it took my breath away. So much so, that I entirely forgot the various uncomfortable feelings that were overwhelming me only moments ago. Everything inside was so perfectly arranged, every little detail was located on its place. The space was planned to the last detail, and yet it appeared as if it lacked a feminine touch and a family atmosphere. Indeed it was settled to an extreme exactness, but there were no family pictures as to transform it into what it was supposed to be – a home.

I placed my bag on the armchair in the living room uncomfortably not knowing whether to sit down or remain standing. But one thing was certain, I still couldn’t get used to the fact of the luxury of the place. It was strange to have such a house, from a professor’s payment, and such a young one at that. I was still staring around trying to digest it all, when I heard Bård’s voice addressing me: “Sorry, I had to leave my stuff upstairs. Just make yourself comfortable. I am going to call Mary to calm her down and when the kids get down I will set the table. Okay?”

I just nodded at his words.

I took a seat on the very edge of the armchair, when he took his phone out of the pocket and sat down on the sofa. It surprised me, since I thought he was planning on leaving the room. But he seemed relaxed and without minding my presence dialed Mary.

“Hey, Mary. Sorry it took me this long to call you back.” Genuine honesty was detectable in his voice, but what had me puzzled was the lack of inconvenience. I, for one, was inconvenient and shouldn’t he just go somewhere more private?

“Hei, is everything alright?” I could clearly hear a gentle, worried female voice on the other end of the line.

“Yeah, I got held up at work and lost track of the time, so… I am just tired, couldn’t call you sooner.”

Technically, he didn’t lie at all, which was nicely played. It didn’t seem that he wanted to deal with an explanation of how he managed to forget two kids before his doorstep at the moment, and left out the main part of the story. I had to admit it was a nice move, and of that I was hundred percent certain. But it was also uncanny, which had me wondering whether he lied to his wife all the time.

“So, everything is fine?” I heard the voice once again asking the same thing, with less alertness the second time around.

“Yeah, they are getting ready for lunch now. They are upstairs, but I can call them if you want to talk to them.”

“No, it is fine. I can talk with them tonight.”

“Can I get Vegard on the phone, please?”

I couldn’t detect a reply to the question, thinking that the line might have went flat. I, however, discarded that thought when after few moments of silence, my professor was still persistently holding the phone up to his ear. I imagined she must have whispered an agreement, since after a short pause another voice appeared on the end of the line. I had expected it to be a kid’s voice, but this was a full grown up man.

“Yeah, Bård.”                

“Hey.”

“Is everything okay? You sound tired and frustrated. Are you already regretting your offer?” A cheeky, teasing chuckle filled the line after the question and I noticed Bård’s face lit up at the words. For a moment there, I could even detect a tiny smile.

“Everything is fine and I am both those things right now. But I am not regretting it. I am the reason for both those feelings.” His free hand left the comfortable position from his thigh, ending up covering his eyes, as a deep gasp left his lips.

“Okay?” The intonation of that one simple word was more than questioning. It was indicating knowledge and comprehension. It felt as if that word has replaced an entire sentence, and yet it was just that one word.

“We will talk when you get back. Anyway how did it go?”

“You were right. She loved it and I owe you a party night when I get back.” The excitement of the reply was indication enough that the conversation took a more pleasant direction.

“Party night? I thought you said I should cut down on alcohol. What changed your mind?”

“Hah. I still think the same way. A party night doesn’t have to involve drinks, you know?”

“How is it a party night then?” He shrugged his shoulders, inclining his head slightly, as a light giggle escaped him. When not receiving a reply, with a little urgency he added: “Ah, never mind. I just wanted to ask how it went. I am gonna run now. Hungry people in the house and we will talk tonight.”

One quick ‘okay’ was the last thing I heard, before the line was broken and Bård looked at me. Before I could register it and move my gaze from examining his face, it was too late. He must have noticed my inconvenience, which got renewed upon being caught intentionally staring at him and it was easily detectable that I was sitting on the very edge of my seat, so he said: “How is that getting comfortable?”

I simply shrugged my shoulders. He shook his head in disapproval and got up from his seat, placing the phone on the table. He looked towards the stairs and called out: “Matthew, Janie lunch time. Get down to help.”

After that he headed in the opposite direction. It was no more than a minute and I heard the hurried footsteps down the staircase. I got up heading towards the dining room, which was combined in one with the living room, but I soon froze on the spot not knowing what to do. The kids ran past me and headed the same way as Bård.

A few more times in running back and forth and the table was all set. I was still standing at the exact same spot, not willing to invite myself to the table and without an idea of how to help out, when they all gathered around. While taking a seat, he looked at me and said: “Come on, take a seat.”

I scratched my neck while heading towards the table, wondering how I got there and what was I doing there. It was awkward and I hated it. So the reason for doing it was even more clouded. It was my fault, I was sure. It was always those tiny decisions which I made which lead to awkwardness. As, I was taking a seat, unaware fully of my environment, I was only thinking of why I didn’t leave when I had the chance to do so. It was certainly not that hard to excuse myself properly or even make some lame apology and just ask for directions.

The first few minutes went in complete silence. The kids were digging in their plates, apparently hungry as hell. My professor was in no way different. On the other hand, I just sat there, forcing myself to take a few bites, despite the lack of appetite. I felt my face burning under the skin, which meant that I was most likely flushed. I dared not to look up, being absolutely grateful that my hair was let down and was so neatly covering my face, hiding every reaction.

I nearly jumped when the silence was broken by Jane, who addressing him softly said: “Uncle Bård, is there more of that apple juice?”

Before I could fully register her words, he was on his feet replying her: “For you princess? Always.” He gave her a wink and a nonchalant smile and headed towards what, by now I was certain, was the kitchen. I could only reflect on how sweet his response was while he was gone. Moments later he was back, carrying a glass and the required beverage, pouring it in the glass and placing it in front of her with the words ‘Here you go.’, before taking his seat again.

“Uncle?” I whispered, my tone quizzical. Now that was a turn of events I didn’t see coming. He looked up at me with a smile on his face and proudly said: “Yes, I am Uncle.”

“I thought they were your kids,” I silently formed the words, hoping that he could understand it, since I had no wish for the children to hear it. He did understand it, and trying to contain his chuckle, he mumbled: “No, they are not my kids.”

“So, Mary is?”

“Their mum. My brother’s wife,” he elaborated.

“Right, okay.” I confirmed, nodding my head and facing the plate as a getaway from his gaze. And somehow the swift rerun of the entire day in my head seemed to make more sense after those five little words. It made me reflect upon everything that happened. His face when he saw the caller’s ID, him being all freaked out and the phone conversation. He was watching over his brother’s kids. That was _sweet, adorable_ …

“Weird? What is less weird?”

“What?” I was startled by his question, gazing up to look at him, secretly praying that I didn’t let some nonsensical and embarrassing thought slip out. It was too late for my prayer to be heard, I had already done it and he was telling me exactly what I said. “You said ‘Less weird’, so I am just wondering what is less weird.”

“I did?” I mumbled, becoming aware that I must have. I was glad, however, that it were just those words that escaped me. As inconvenient as they were, they would have been nothing in comparison to me saying that it was absolutely cute what he was doing. No escape was to be found from under his persistent gaze, so I didn’t hide away my gaze. “This is embarrassing. Me being here is less weird.”

He furrowed his eyebrows. “Wait, you thought I was married with two kids?”

“Yep, I did.”

He started laughing, at which my defensing mechanism got activated. “Well, how was I supposed to know? I heard you talk to a Mary ten times today and the kids…”

“Okay, okay you weren’t supposed to know,” he said, waving with his hands in the air trying to calm me down. “But I am not married. I am just babysitting.”

“Babysitting? Well, they are not exactly babies, and you are doing more of a marathon rather than sitting, but I do get the general idea.” I shot him a small smile, at which he responded with a similar one. The rest of the meal went in silence only I no longer felt that incommodious. After we all finished, the table was cleaned up faster than it was set and when I asked if I could somehow help, I was told to leave it to them. When they finished the task in hand, he sent the kids in their rooms to finish their homework threatening to check in on them to see if they were studying. Jane seemed to take it much more seriously than her brother, but nevertheless they both headed to the second floor.

When we were left alone, I standing in the middle of his living room, I started to feel awkward once again. Therefore, without thinking twice, I said: “I should get going.”

“So soon?” he mumbled, his azure eyes fixing on me.

_‘Is he expecting me to stay? Is that what his eyes are radiating?’_ I thought, shaking my head to indicate to myself that it was absolutely not what he meant. _‘He is just being polite.’_

I nodded. “Yeah. Not that I am not grateful for the help, the lunch and everything, but I really need to get home. Sorry.”

Until that moment, I didn’t even bother to consider the way I was going to get back. I was after all more pleasantly occupied. Or more awkwardly. Probably both. Luckily he had an idea of how to make it happen.

“Let me call you a cab.”

“Yeah, thanks.”

***

After he made the call, I picked up my things. We both exited the house, deciding to wait for the cab out in the fresh air. I placed the messed up strands of my hair behind my ear, while we were climbing down the stairs.

As I stepped of the last stair, I heard his voice behind me: “I am sorry that I can’t take you home myself. But, uhm…” His thumb was pointing behind him towards the house, and I got what he was trying to say, without hearing the rest. I wasn’t even sure if he was going to continue his explanation.

“It is fine. I don’t mind. I understand. Your driving is probably going to give me a heart attack anyway.”

“Oh, thank you very much!” he exclaimed, pretending to be hurt – his hand pressed tightly over the left side of his ribcage – somewhere above the heart. He seemed to do that a lot. Still, I could see a light smile sneaking up on his lips.

“I didn’t say anything that wasn’t true and you know that.”

“Yeah, I suppose I do,” he admitted, going silent for a while. Then, out of nowhere he suggested: “We should exchange phone numbers in case one of us can’t make it to the Norwegian lesson on Thursday.”

I took out my phone and we did that very thing, once again falling into a silent presence. I faced the house, letting my eyes roam on every detail, inspecting every little particularity. It was soon after my gaze landed upon the house, when I heard him ask ‘You like it?’.

“Huh?” I mumbled.

“The house. Do you like it?”

“Yeah, it is amazing. But it is also grand.” I shot him a puzzled look, and went on: “I have been meaning to ask this all day long. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean any disrespect, but I was just wondering. Are you rich or something?”

“Well, I am not Bill Gates rich, but I do well.” he jokingly said.

“No one is Bill Gates rich.” I teased back, going serious the next moment. “How can you get this house from a professor’s payment? Just the architect must have cost a fortune. This is an amazing design.”

“When it comes to money, I have other resources. As to the architect, it is my design,” he shyly admitted. I didn’t see a single reason for him to be so, given that I, without knowing it, complemented him on his work.

“You designed this? Awesome.” I enthusiastically said, since the spark of architecture awareness stirred inside my mind.

“Thanks.”

I didn’t have another moment to observe it more closely and I did want to do just that after being so leisurely informed that it was his work, since the next moment the cab parked before the house. He walked me to the cab. It was just a few steps, but the very fact that he did it was flattering. To add to my dumbfound state, he also opened the door for me with the words: “Sorry for the inconvenience, but it turned out quite nicely I believe.”

“It is fine, professor.” My gaze landing on my shoes, for God know which time during the day.

Before I could say anything else, he cut me short. “Oh, that isn’t going to work. Bård, please. I am a professor at the university. Outside of it, I am just Bård. Okay?”

“Yeah.” I unconvincingly whispered, looking back at him.

“So, does the ‘yeah’ mean that I can call you Catherine instead of Miss Fox?” He confidently asked, a smirk shining on his face.

“No, you can’t,” I purposely replied more abruptly than usual. It was not only he who knew how to tease people. As I said that, his expression momentarily changed from cocky confidence into embarrassed seriousness. “I think I prefer Kate.”

His lips playfully turned into a smile as he nodded. “Kate sounds good.”

“I had a nice time. Thank you again for everything, Bård.”

“Anytime. See you in class,” he mumbled.

“Night.” I mused and entered the cab. He closed the door behind me, addressing me one last smile before he made his way towards the house. I gave the address to the driver and leaned back into the seat to run through the confusingly surprising events from the day.

I wasn’t even aware how badly I was grinning.


	10. Bård: A girl?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was supposed to contain the story of how Vegard and Mary met, but I have been lacking inspiration and I couldn't think of anything, so I decided to finally post it without one. I guess, it can go without that.  
> Anyhow, enjoy!  
> Comments and kudos are welcomed and much appreciated.

The remaining of the week I spent with Matthew and Jane went smoothly. Between work at the university and their homework we had only the weekend to have a good time. Anyhow, it went better than I thought it would after the ‘forgetting about them’ incident. Even Mary calmed down, and was not calling every five minutes with concern ringing in her voice. Which was making things easier for me.

The week was one of the most full and busy weeks I had had in a long time, in a positive way. I was glad that both the kids and I had an amazing time, while Vegard and Mary got to relax and enjoy a week away from the madness. I managed to see Catherine only in class, since I had to cancel on the lesson on Thursday because Vegard and Mary announced that they were coming to pick up Matthew and Jane on their return. I did however tell Catherine, that I would be willing to work whenever it suited her. All in all, it turned out to be a win-win situation for all of us.

***

The doorbell rang announcing Vegard and Mary’s arrival. Before I could even react to the sound, Jane was up on her feet making her merry way towards the door, running as fast as she could manage. It was normal, she missed her mum and Matthew did too, although he was not showing it as much as Jane was.

Mary might have been a workaholic, but she always had time for her children. Both of them had really. It was the first time she had been away for that long. Vegard was there when Mary was at work-related seminars, but left without them both fell hard on Jane. Matthew did a better job dealing with it, but given that he was the older one it was understandable.

“Mummy!” I heard an extended click of enthusiasm escaping Jane, and a group of muffled sounds presumably coming from the cause of excitement in Jane.

Matthew and I headed to the hall as well, only to be met by Mary and Jane hugging, or to be more precise Jane had her arms wrapped around her mother’s neck and was tightly pressed against Mary’s shoulder. Vegard was standing next to them, intensely looking at his ladies, hoping to get his turn for a hug. He looked up at me, and we both exchanged a faint smile. He knew I could understand his impatience perfectly, we always had that reading each other’s thoughts connection, which most of the time was paying off beyond explanation, and besides we had always been close so I could recognize each and every gaze, movement, posture. And, so could he.

After all the hugs and kisses one would presume needed and exaggerated were exchanged, and after I managed to properly greet and welcome Vegard and Mary, we all entered the living room. When they all settled comfortably in their seats and I took the orders, feeling like a waiter for a moment, and I hastily moved to the kitchen to get the necessary beverages. As I was opening one kitchen unit after another, preparing the trencher and the glasses, before filling them up; unintentionally I managed to catch upon the conversation in the living room – my curiosity enraptured and intrigued right away.

“So, did you spend a good time alone with your uncle?” Mary asked, her voice being barely audible, as per usual. However, as my interest was aggrandized I would have detected it even if it were in a different city.

“Ah, we weren’t alone all the time. We had a visitor.” Jane let the cat out of the bag, before I could do anything to intertwine. I felt that I was tensing up, even more persistently trying to catch the conversation that was bound to develop after that statement.

“A visitor? Which one? He mentioned nothing,” Vegard inquired. I knew that he wouldn’t leave the subject rest, without getting the answer. So, my interruption at that point wouldn’t have changed a single thing. Therefore, I stayed out of the way, miraculously hoping it will be finished, but it was already done and that subject was not being dropped until answered.

“No idea. She was not familiar,” Matthew said, and I could even picture the nonchalant shrug of the boy, whilst both Mary and Vegard must have been flickering their gazes towards him.

“Men, hun var vakker.” Jane whispered, ever so gently. I smiled at the sweetness with which Jane said those words, being right on the point as Catherine was beautiful. Wait, what? “Som en prinsesse.”

“She?” Both Vegard and Mary gasped in astonishment, while I was still standing astounded at the easiness with which I agreed with Jane’s words, and then Mary asked my brother: “Is it possible she is his girlfriend?”

Vegard was quick to answer. “No, he would have told me.”

I entered the room with a cheeky smile, being met with their shocked faces as they were looking at each other’s eyes – the weirdest expressions I have seen on either one of them, staring at them reproachfully, while saying:  “Yes, I would have told you.” I smug mockingly cocked my eyebrow. “Gossipers!” I accused.

“Sneaky eavesdropper,” Vegard shot back, teasingly. I could still see his interest was sparked, under all that air of disinterest he had submitted his expression under.

“So, you don’t deny it?” Mary questioned, training me away from those thoughts. Vegard was silently staring at me, looking for answers in the best way he knew – in my expression. I found myself focusing hard on not letting anything slip, not understanding fully why I was doing so.

“Deny what? That I had a lady in my house? Why should I?” I teasingly asked, unsuccessfully trying to laugh. Vegard’s piercing gaze, examining my face, was not letting me breathe properly.

“Well, I don’t know,” Mary mumbled, blushing mildly at the words.

“Besides I don’t think I can’t do it after what Jane and Matthew just told you. Speaking of which, you little traitors.” At those words I moved towards Matthew, to have my revenge – more of a tickling marathon, who left his seat and ran away. He noticed my intention, but Jane was still in her seat. Before she could take any notice, I moved towards her not allowing her to escape and started tickling her.

Her smiles filled the room while she was desperately trying to hide behind a cushion and defend herself. Vegard and Mary joined in and Matthew as well, although he was still keeping at safe distance.

"Please, Uncle Bård. Please," she plead in between laughs, hoping that I will let her go. Seeing that her first plea didn't do anything to stop me, she went on: "I will do whatever you want me to, please!”

“Oh, really?” I asked. “Whatever I want, whenever I want?”

“Yeah.”

"Good then you owe me one. Agreed?" I asked her, offering her my hand for a handshake to seal the deal. She gladly took it. I left the room to finish my work in the kitchen. While leaving, I threw a look at Matthew and pointed a finger at him, informing him: “You owe me one too.” The conversation was seemingly left at rest, but when everything was served and we finally managed to get comfortable into our seats, Vegard continued as if though an interruption never occurred. My dread was finally confirmed, he was not planning on leaving it unfinished. He fastened his quizzical gaze at me as he asked: “So, who is she?”

“A friend,” I said. Was she though? A friend? I never actually thought about it until that moment, but I seemed to want her to be one.

“You mean a girlfriend,” Vegard uttered, emphasizing on the ‘girl’.

I shook my head in disbelief of his teasing, rolling my eyes so evidently for everyone to notice. I lightly chuckled, before defensively saying: “No, not girlfriend. Just a friend, I think. She is preparing her PhD in architecture. So, we will be colleagues.”

“You think she is a friend? What does that mean?” Vegard asked, proving time in time that he never missed a single thing related to me.

“Nothing really,” I whispered, sending him that one look that told him to leave this for some other time. He caught the hint and I thought that the subject would be to my great relief immediately closed. His clasped hands on his lap made a little twitch of confirmation, and he bit his lip, casting his eyes downwards, which meant he was letting it go. I knew that Vegard and I will still have time to discuss it some other day. However, it was not just Vegard’s curiosity that was peaked.

“Are you going to see her again, then?” Mary pitched in. “If you are soon to be coworkers it should happen.”

“I did see her. A few times actually,” I stated. I simply didn’t mention that it was during my classes. It was turning into an uncomfortable conversation for me, so before giving the chance to anyone to ask yet another question related to Catherine, I started a new topic: “Hey, so how was your trip?”

Vegard and Mary looked at each other, a gaze full of passion and love. He reached out and interlaced his fingers with hers, giving a gentle squeeze. There was that spark which informed me that the previous week must have been the time of their lives. They didn’t need to say anything else, I could see it. And I was glad of it, given that I could help out by taking care of the kids.

Still, at that moment as I looked at them exchanging words of love with only a glance, I couldn’t stop myself from thinking that I would like to have someone who was going to share such looks with me. I had an enormous wish to have someone who would love me unconditionally, for who I was. I wanted to find what Vegard had – a little bit of comfort, honesty in love and a home.

As the sparks in their gazes lit, I could only think of my wish to wake up to a smiling face in my embrace and to a pair of warm eyes which radiate love. To wake up to a face that would make my heart skip a beat every single day. To have a person who would be everything to me.

“Oh, it was unbelievable,” Mary whispered, a deep sigh escaping her lips, waking me up from my wandering thoughts.

“I am glad,” I echoed back, sending her a smile. Indeed, I was glad of it. I was glad Vegard and Mary were so happy as to find each other. Ever since I first saw them together, I knew it was meant to be. They simply were adorably perfect. And, so was their first meeting.

It was Vegard’s voice that returned me back to reality completely. As I looked at him, I was met by his gaze. His eyebrows were cocked and he was teasingly smiling at me. “What about here? Was it hard to keep up with two kids out of nowhere?”

“It was not that bad actually. Once, I remembered that I had guests. Besides I have had them here before,” I stated, chuckling lightly at the yet unrevealed situation that had me bring Catherine over in the first place.

“Yeah, but they were younger.”

“Well, we managed somehow,” I said, winking in direction of Jane. She shot me back a smile. “There were a few incidents.”

“Incidents?” Mary’s radar beeped at those words.

“Yeah, it was my fault actually. I lost track of time at work the previous Thursday,” I admitted, knowing that it was the exact time to come clean on that.

“What?” Mary snapped at me, her smile growing cold and near deadly within seconds.

“Oh, that is why you seemed to be so down when we spoke on the phone,” Vegard cut in, completely unaffected by the intensity of Mary’s exclaim nor the change in the expression.

“Yeah, I am sorry but I did rush back home after I saw the time. Am I forgiven?” I asked in a whisper, looking at Mary. I knew Vegard wouldn’t hold it that much against me, but I was hoping that Mary would understand it as well.

“Forgiven? No way,” she angrily replied.

Before I could manage to partially explain things to Mary and try to make her understand me, Matthew interfered: “Technically, it wasn’t his fault even though he said it was.”

“What do you mean?” Both I and Mary asked at the same time, and I glanced at him at him puzzled as to what Matthew was trying to say. He seemed unaware of it, but he nevertheless continued: “Well, he was with her, so that is why he lost track of time.”

“What do you know?” Vegard addressed him, joking on his account. But Mary still seemed upset, though Matthew’s comment made her smile.

“Look, Mary I am sorry. I didn’t want to worry you while you were on the trip, so that is why I didn’t mention it. But, I thought you should know. I will understand if you don’t want to leave them at my place without supervision again. It would be only normal given that I am the biggest kid in the room.”

Mary chuckled at my words, teasingly staring me down, before saying: “Fine, fine. You are forgiven.”

“Thank you, Mary. You are the sweetest soul I know.”

“Yeah, yeah I know. Still don’t think that it is getting you out of watching the kids some other time,” she mischievously joked.

“I wasn’t trying to get away. Just so you know.”

I didn’t need to ask for Vegard’s forgiveness. I could read it in his eyes. I knew when he was crossed. And while Mary and I were talking, he followed us with a smile on his face. It was more than enough for me to know that he wouldn’t say anything about it. Not a single word of reproach. However, I also knew, that the glint in his eyes would soon transpire in me being locked in a room with him, and interrogated about Catherine. I could avoid it, but not for long.

***

When they all left, the house went back to its original state of peaceful quietness. Far too much peace after a busy, interesting week.

Soon enough, the same loneliness that was lurking in the shadows of my empty house a week or so before arose again. It was beginning to drown me, the silence of the walls who could hear my cry-outs but couldn’t understand them. A lump began forming in the base of my throat, each second moving more to south nesting in my chest, not giving me the ability to at least relax. Therefore, the plan of spending the free Friday out of the house was made in a split of a second.


	11. Catherine: Day Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kate is about to find out what the fuss relating her last name was all about!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zita, thank you for being such an awesome reader. Albeit unedited more than once, this chapter is dedicated to you. And, please don't restrain yourself from leaving kudos from every device known to you ;)  
> Everyone else, thanks for keeping up with the story and it means so much to me that there are people reading this! You are my inspiration! And, you keep me going!  
> As always, comments and kudos are welcomed and much appreciated.  
> Enjoy!!!

“No Friday lessons for me.” I was conversing with my brother when Adela busted into the room, announcing the situation to the entire world from the top of her lungs. Interrupting the conversation with my brother was the least she did. It felt that her voice managed to wake up everyone, who was still asleep, in the entire neighbourhood. “You are done too, right?”

“Yeah,” I doubtfully whispered, looking away from the monitor, thinking of all the things she could have possibly planned. I knew that joy that was overwhelming her was not only because of the lost lesson, it couldn’t possibly be.

“Good, cause we are going out,” she clicked with enthusiasm, before realizing that I was actually having a conversation. Once she did, she lowered her voice and said: “Sorry for interrupting.”

But honestly that ship had already sailed. The interruption was made and it was one of the most abrupt I have ever seen.

“No it is fine. We were actually wrapping up, anyway. He has to go to school,” I whispered back, looking at Fred, who sent me a smile. “Well, we will work on math tomorrow. Okay?”

“Yeah, definitely.”

“Okay, Fred. Talk tomorrow. Don’t be late for school and say ‘hi’ to mum, okay?”

“Yeah, sure. Bye,” he answered, before disconnecting the call.

Once Fred did that, I closed down my laptop and turned towards Adela, who was comfortably settled on the bed. She was supposed to be at university and I was curious to know why she didn’t have lessons, so I started the conversation with that. “Why are you back early? I thought you were supposed to be at university until 7 pm. What happened?”

The enthusiasm in her voice could in no way be concealed. It even seemed that she had more than enough for the two of us, since before she explained anything I felt that I was just as thrilled as she was, for no good reason at all. “Oh, the professor is out on a seminar this week and the university didn’t manage to find a substitute. The assistant is busy with another group, so classes are being moved for some other time. We are supposed to schedule it with the professor, when she returns.”

“Oh, cool. Why am I not so lucky as to lose lessons?” I chuckled, realizing that the thought I was considering at a moment of mediocre conversation was in fact desirable. The realization caught me by surprise. I was never the one to wish that classes were lost, though sometimes such a break suited me very much. Yet, I was dumbfounded at the cognition that without my knowing so, I have actually changed my mind in relation to lost classes.

I had no time to further dwell on the question in hand, since Adela firmly announced: “Well, I don’t know about that. But since I am that lucky, I am taking you out. To celebrate.”

“What? No. I thought you were joking about that.” My lack of desire to comply her wish traceable all over my face. I was hoping to use the day for the purpose of relaxing, in between some other errands, after the swamped week I had, but Adela’s face was decisive.

“No, I wasn’t joking and yes, we are going out,” she emphasized.

I tried to object. I had other things planned for the day, so going out was bound to spoil them. However, before I managed to say anything at all, Adela went on with her plans: “And, it was about time to do it. You have been here a while and I haven’t taken you out yet.”

“Yes, you have.”

“Not properly.”

“But, Adela, I had something else planned for the day,” I tried to point out, without much luck.

She heard me loud and clear, but her will was far too strong for me to be able to break it and that was exactly what I feared. I took her less than few seconds to come back with an answer on that.

“Whatever you planned can be done some other day. Today I take you shopping and we have fun. And there is the end of it. I will no longer discuss it. I am going to get changed and you should do that too, because we are leaving in thirty minutes,” she said and left the room in few swift movements.

I knew that running after her, trying to change her mind would be pointless and practically a waste of time, so without a strong will I got up and arranged my wild hair. I picked up my walled, placing it in the bag, along with the phone. Just in case browsing ended with buying.

I was already dressed decently enough, for my taste, so changing my clothes seemed like an unnecessary activity. As soon as Adela called for me, I left the room and before I knew it we were taking the bus towards the nearest shopping center.

***

“So, what do you think? Are you having fun?” Adela asked me for the first time after two hours of walking around the shopping center, scanning every shop, trying over hundred different pieces of clothing and buying quite a lot of them.

Well, Adela did buy a lot. She was absolutely enjoying the shopping spree. I was having fun as well, but I was nowhere close to the number of bags she was carrying. At one point, I even had to yank some of bags out of her hands, realizing that she had no chance in carrying all of them even though she persistently claimed otherwise.

“It is better than I thought it would be, actually,” I responded truthfully, wondering what took her so long to ask the question I knew I would be hearing a few times during the day. I meant it. Shopping was never my favorite thing, but Adela managed to make it pretty amazing. Through cheerful conversation and a couple of crazy laughs, which made people turning their heads to see who was going insane, she actually made it more than enjoyable.

“Yeah? You are not just saying that and being nice or anything?” she wondered, furrowing her brows as she threw me a puzzled look.

I chuckled and shook my head, trying to reassure her that I did in fact was telling her the truth. “No, I mean it. I never thought I would say this, but I would do it again. And that says a lot.”

“Good, then I managed to do my job as a host,” she forcefully exclaimed, another set of people turning towards us.

“Jesus, stop drawing in attention. It is becoming embarrassing,” I whispered under my breath, trying to compose myself and silence the laughter that was threatening to escape. She burst out in laughter at my words and I joined in, despite the flushing of my cheeks. It was then, after what seemed to be an interminable laughter, when I noticed that I was far too hungry to continue with the shopping. I turned towards Adela, and froze on the spot, saying: “There is just one problem, though.”

I could imagine the grimace I must have had printed on my face, given that Adela cut the laughter short momentarily and looked at me with worry, asking: “What kind of a problem?” She truly appeared to become sad, so much so one would believe we were discussing a question of life and death.

“I am famished,” I replied after a dramatic pause of few seconds, cocking my eyebrow and addressing her a smile. “Can we go and grab a bite somewhere?”

“Oh, God. You actually tricked me to believe that something was wrong,” she laughed. “You are going to pay for that. Big time. Now, follow me. I am hungry, as well. Just let’s get something to eat.”

Adela made her way towards a small restaurant and I followed her without saying a word. I didn’t know anything anyway, so my comment would be frivolous. We took a seat at the first empty table we located, since most of the restaurant was already occupied, feeling grateful that we could drop the bags during lunch and have our arms relax. The waitress came to bring us the menus and when we made the decision she returned to get the order. We thanked her when after a short wait she brought our food. We were left alone. Being hungry as I was, I didn’t wait for a second to start my meal. Neither did Adela, for that matter. However, conversation managed to spring up even though we were both focused on our plates.

It was me that started it. “If you take me shopping once every week, I think it would be unavoidable for me to build up some biceps, wouldn’t you agree?”

“Don’t be mean, but you just might,” she replied, once she swallowed the bite. “Not sure if it would suit you though.”

“Wouldn’t it? I would think that it would be perfect,” I teasingly joked, a smile not lacking to dance on my lips.

Adela did send me a shy smile, incredibly so for her open character. Apart from the smile, the only reaction or comment I received from her was a disapproving shake of the head, before she expertly changed the topic. “So, what was that about your brother and math?”

“Oh, we are going to work on some unclear things tomorrow.” I construed.

She sounded shocked when she asked. “But, you did that the previous weekend. Why again?”

“Oh, that was for the test. This time around is for the homework. He had some difficulties with it, so I am going to help,” I explained.

“Oh, okay. And when are you going to study?” she worriedly asked.

“Tonight I think. I can’t leave it all for Sunday. When are you going to study?” I returned the question.

“Tomorrow. I don’t have much. I will be done in no more than five hours.”

I was about to ask what she had on the studying list, but then I saw that her face went all blank in just few seconds. It was the first time to see Adela so flabbergasted. Before managing to ask what the reason for that was, I felt a hand resting on my shoulder ever so gently. 

When I turned around, I was met by the smiling face of Bård. His gaze landed on mine almost immediately and he softly whispered: “Hey.”

“Hei.” I echoed back, and as much as I was surprised to see him there – a smile began playing with the corners of my lips. I got up, my gaze locked in his. I could hear that Adela got up as well. It seemed like the right moment, so I took the opportunity to introduce them.

“Professor,” I hesitantly began. He did tell me to call him Bård, but I hadn’t done it by that moment and therefore was uncertain whether it was truly meant. Before I could continue, he corrected me: “Bård.”, his gaze already telling me everything.

I smiled at him, before turning to Adela saying: “Adela, this is Bård. Bård, Adela.” She shot me a quick, nearly undetectable and yet puzzled look. Everything about her said astonishment, which had me incapable of perceiving what laid behind the expression. She shook her head, ever so slightly, before turning towards Bård. I furrowed my eyebrows in question, but since she didn’t do anything else and her gaze had already left mine, I decided I must have misinterpreted her expression and decided to let it slip for the moment. He stretched out his arm and they shook hands.

What had me by surprise, being yet another thing I couldn’t grasp the hold of, was Adela mumbling out: “Hey, I… Uhm, it’s… It’s nice to meet you.”

It didn’t seem to strike him as a strange thing, but given that he didn’t know Adela whatsoever it was comprehendible. He only, through a smile, replied: “Nice to meet you too.” The very next moment he turned towards me and in whisper asked: “Map girl?”

I chuckled, somewhat astonished that he still remembered it. Adela looked at me puzzled at the question and I was placed in the middle of an awkward situation.

“You didn’t have to say it right now,” I teasingly reproached him. “But, yeah, that is her.”

“Sorry,” he whispered. But the grin on his face spoke so little of being sorry.

“It is okay,” I uttered, when addressing him another smile. _‘Why does his smile have to be so captivating, entrancing, so perfect…?’_ I tried to gather up myself, shifting my gaze over to Adela to get his smile out of my head, only to find her captivated into a similar trance.

Her eyes finally flickered from Bård’s face and over to mine, as Adela finally asked: “Wait, map girl?” I was beginning to wonder what took her so long. She was absolutely not being herself, not since Bård approached.

“Yeah, I kind of showed him the map of the university you drew,” I said, my tone nothing but apologetic.

“Oh, shit. Why would you do that? Oh, God, so embarrassing,” she mumbled.

“Nothing embarrassing about wanting to help out,” Bård tried to point out. Looking her with those blue eyes, along with the smile on his face was more than enough to calm down Adela. But, just when I thought that he did a good job, he thought it would be the perfect timing for a mischievous joke: “But, that map was rubbish.”

It was true, but he could have bothered to find a better choice of words. Luckily, Adela laughed it off. She nodded her head, completely agreeing with him. I just hoped that Adela wouldn’t give me hard time because of it later.

“Are Matthew and Jane with you?” I asked, trying to change the course of the conversation and avoid yet another sarcastic comment. Adela shot me a puzzling look, staring at me as if she was trying to ask _‘How the hell do you know that?’_ Yet she commented nothing.

“No, uhm, Mary and Vegard picked them up yesterday,” Bård stated.

“Oh, so you are here alone?” I went on. It was rather obvious, but there was always getting to the wrong conclusion and the question was only a way of making sure.

“Yep. I thought of grabbing a bite.”

“Then you are at the right place.” Adela teased. Adela smiled shyly when Bård grinned at her. She did however recover soon. “Well, join us,” Adela said through a smile, her outgoing character finally getting back to normal. “There is no point for you to sit alone.”

Before agreeing he looked at me asking: “Is that okay with you?” His consideration surprising me, time in time.

“Yeah,” I nodded. And then Adela once again shot me another puzzling look, raising her eyebrow questionably. I was sure then that I was missing something.

Bård however didn’t seem to notice or at least he did a good job pretending of not noticing it. “Well I will go get my order, because I don’t think anyone will come since you had already ordered and I will be back,” he swiftly said, before turning around and heading for the counter.

When Adela estimated that he was on a safe distance and not being able to hear us, she shot me another similar look and in a whisper asked: “How do you know _him_?”

“He is my architecture professor,” I said, wanting to return a question, but before being able to say anything else Adela mumbled: “Unbelievable, I have lived here all my life and I have never met him. And you get here and in no more than a month you get to meet the hunky.”

I inclined my head slightly. “How do you know him?” I asked her, puzzled by her words. All I could think is that she might have some sort of crush on him. She was certainly behaving like she did.

“You are kidding me, right?” she looked at me, half-shocked.

“Kidding you about what? I am serious.”

“You know who he is, right?” she whispered, her finger pointed at Bård.

I flickered my gaze towards him, only to find him leaning over the counter conversing with an employee. Then, it dawned upon me that if he would happen to turn around and look in our direction, he would notice Adela’s finger right away.

“Put your finger down,” I hurried, pulling her hand down towards the table, before saying: “Yeah, I know who he is. He is my architecture professor, like I said.”

“And?” she stretched the word, her voice all but without intent. “What else?”

“What else? Nothing else.” I smiled, thinking that she was pulling one of her teasing jokes.

“You really don’t know, do you?” she asked me, confusing me. I had no idea what was that I didn’t know or what I was missing out on.

“Know what?”

“That guy over there and his brother are the most famous people in Norway,” she informed me, a tiny smile playing on her face.

“What? What are you talking about?” I spoke, my face altering into a shocked expression. I could feel my fingers trembling on my lap, as I tried to form another set of proper words to further enquire, only to find myself incapable of pronouncing a single sound. 

“You really didn’t know, huh?”

“No,” I said, trying to gather myself up from the shock of the information I just received, being a little hurt he himself didn't tell me in the first place for a completely unknown reason.

Adela turned her head, hastily mumbling: “He is coming back. I will tell you later.” I managed to look the same way only to notice that Bård was approaching us only moments before he rejoined us. His order in his hands, as he took a seat and placed it before him.

“Thank you ladies. For receiving me on your table,” he said, sending me a smile.

“Anytime,” I whispered, knowing that he was the only one that would get it. Adela wasn’t aware that it has become our word. If she knew, she’d tease me for God knows how long.

But, that was not the only reason I said that word. As much as I would want to pretend that everything was just fine, I was taken by surprise. My hands were shaking so much, and I felt a lump in my throat along a combination of feelings which were enough to convince me that if I would try to pronounce something longer, my voice would break in the middle of my thought.

“Nothing to be thankful for, though. It is a pleasure,” Adela cheerfully said. “So are you on a shopping spree as well?” She was recovering from the first shock quite nicely, since she had it so well passed on to me.

“No, but by meeting you I feel as if I had fallen into one,” he teased, fixing his gaze on the group of bags that laid on the chair.

“Yeah, well it is the first time I managed to get Kate out of the house. So, we are going crazy.”

“Crazy, huh?” he asked, teasingly smiling at Adela, which in my experience was a horribly dangerous move.

“Yeah, well she hasn’t seen anything of Oslo, except the environment around the house and the university. We did manage to check the neighbourhood the first week she arrived, but nothing more than that. So, I am being a good host and I am trying to force her to go out. It was close to a failure,” Adela continued, relating everything just as I expected her to.

“Oh, really?” he asked, directing me a look. I knew that he realized that I didn’t mention the trip he gave me to Adela. In an instant my cheeks started blushing. Not knowing where to look, I lowered my head placing my gaze on the plate, as Adela confirmed: “Yeah, really. You know the thing is our schedules are opposite and we have no free time to go out. Otherwise, she would have been dragged out.”

The lunch went as normal as possible, after the shock Adela gave me. However the more I thought about it, the more I became aware that everything about him was screaming a ‘celebrity’. That was an explanation of so many things, first of which his appearance. It was no surprise that such looks could reach the celebrity grounds.

The more I thought about it, the less astonishing it became. When we took care of the check, we left the restaurant and Adela waited no more than a second to say: “You know we will keep on with the shopping. You are free to join us, if you want to that is.”

Bård smiled at her and said: “No, I thank you. I have intruded for the lunch, but now I believe you can continue on your own.”

“Okay, cool. See you around,” Adela said. She gave up so easily, but I wasn’t even going to mention it. There was no way, I would force him to come along. He wouldn’t, couldn’t have been able to bare it. Besides, doing so would make it uncomfortable.

“See you,” he nodded in Adela’s and then in my direction, before turning around and leaving us alone. She followed him with her gaze until he got mixed with other people, and as soon as he was out of sight, Adela enthusiastically clicked: “Oh, my God. I just had lunch with Bård Ylvisåker.”

“ _We_  just had lunch with Bård Ylvisåker,” I corrected her.

“Shut up,” she jokingly said, rolling her eyes. “I need to gather myself up.”

“Okay. Whatever.”

After few minutes of silence and watching Adela constantly changing her expression between confusion, astonishment and happiness, she finally spoke: “Why didn’t you tell me that you knew Bård Ylvisåker?”

“I didn’t think he was important. I also didn’t know he was famous. And that you had a crush on him.” I shrugged my shoulders.

“I don’t have a crush on him,” she cut me short. “I am just a huge fan, both of his and his brother’s. They are like amazing.”

“Yeah?” I asked, my curiosity peaked. “So, what exactly is it that they do?”

“Oh, well, technically they are a comedy duo. But they have done all kinds of TV shows, radio shows and they have a talk show on TV. But, their music is really good. It is comedy music, made to make people laugh, but it is fantastic.”

“Right, so they sing as well? Any good?” I was trying to sound as steadily as I could manage, but it was rather clear that I was honestly wishing to know more.

“Any good?!” she exclaimed. “They are bloody brilliant. You know when we get home I will play you their best songs. They don’t have a lot of songs, but I will limit it to two or three, unless you ask for more.”

“Okay, sure,” I agreed.

“Wait, you don’t know their biggest hit either? The song which went viral on youtube in a second?” she wondered.

“No.”

“Oh, that you are going to love,” she uttered, as we continued our shopping experience. But, honestly I couldn’t wait to go back home, and see for myself what Adela was trying to tell me.


	12. Bård: Tour Guide

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize it took me so long to update this story, and I am thankful for the understanding. I hope you guys are still interested in reading this.   
> Uni is starting so I probably will be publishing one chapter a month, so please forgive me for that as well.   
> Thanks for being this amazing and keeping me interested in writing this piece.   
> Enjoy! ^_^

_‘Should I or shouldn’t I?_ ’ was the only thought that was unstoppably rambling through my head since I had first opened my eyes. I hated that I basically spent half of the day pondering over the same thought. I deeply sighed my frustration, forcefully running my hand through my hair as though that would result in a solution, and finally deciding my initial thought would not be such a bad idea after all.

Without allowing myself enough time to go through my decision for the thousandth time and give myself the possibility to change my mind once again, I picked up my phone and dialed her number. While I waited for the call to connect, I made a realization it was the first time in years that I felt as nervous as a fox at a hound convention about a simple phone call. To make matters worse, I could feel every wave of quivery tremble torturing my abdomen.

Before I managed to register that she had taken the call, being far too lost in trying to pull myself together, the seriousness of her voice greeting me with one ‘Hey’ reached my senses. She appeared distracted, her voice coming out in a slight whisper to confirm my doubt.

“Hey to you too,” I replied amusedly at her greeting.

Her reply following my words was hasty, as if she had woken up from some kind of trance, “Oh, hello professor. I wasn’t –” she trailed off, leaving me with the perfect opportunity to finish her thought.

“Expecting me?” I provided, waiting for her to give any response to my questioning tone. Yet, she remained silent so I realized that she had no intention of confirming what she knew I was aware of, so instead I continued, correcting her, “And it is Bård, not professor. I thought we agreed on that. This is the last time I am correcting you, okay?”

“Yeah, okay,” she said through yet another whisper, only to continue more sure of her words the very next moment, “Can you give me a moment though?”

“Sure,” I swiftly replied, wondering as to what had her so distracted. The line was still open, so her words, which interrupted my thoughts of wonder, managed to elevate my curiosity even further. Even though the sound was muffled and was following some rustling, I could clearly hear her say, “Hey, sorry. I will call you back in a minute and we will continue, okay?”

The response she got must have been affirming, since a second later her voice was, once again, addressing me, “Back. What is going on?”

Though obvious, wanting to satisfy my curiosity in knowing who she was conversing with, I asked, “Did I interrupt something?”

“Yeah, kind of. But never mind that,” she mumbled, her voice as gentle as ever.

“Well, sorry,” I whispered under my breath, feeling somewhat awkward for calling at a bad moment. I shrugged my shoulders at the horrible timing in which I executed the decision I had been pondering over for hours, sighing in the process. The very next moment I regretted it, hoping that she didn’t register the sound, which I assumed she didn’t since she made no comment about it.

“No need to apologize. It is fine. Why were you calling?” she asked, changing the subject entirely, to my upmost gratefulness.

“I was wondering,” I began, taking a deep breath with the intention to continue, but the words got lodged into my throat involuntarily and I couldn’t proceed. I didn’t have the nerve to do it, fully aware that there was quite a possibility to ruin the friendship – if it was indeed that – very easily.

“Yeah?” she asked by drawing out the word, expectation ringing in her voice.

The chance of going back was lost. I couldn’t just pretend I didn’t say anything at all. It was impossible to pass it up as a nothingness, not with someone possessing that intellect. She was expecting a reply, while I was still clinging on to the wish to get to know her better, so I was vaguely aware of my words, as I, while half lost in a misty zone, replied, “Well, Adela mentioned yesterday that you haven’t seen the city yet and I canceled on our lesson on Thursday. So, I was wondering whether we could go out tomorrow and kill two birds with one stone. We can catch up on the lessons and I get to show you the city. What do you think?”

My last words were but a tremble. I was nervous at the least, my palm was clasping the phone with all its strength, and was consequently beginning to sweat. I skipped a breath at the anticipation of the reply Catherine was supposed to provide. But, she was reluctantly avoiding it, making me consider that it was maybe a wrong move to ask her such a question.

After what to me appeared to be a long while, she asked me, “Wouldn’t your girlfriend object to your spending the day showing me the city?”

I heard a light chuckle, hidden under her breath and yet detectable, even though I was quite sure that her primary intention was for it to go unnoticed. I breathed out, the unnamed burden still pressing weight on my lungs.

I continued in the same tone, as I responded, “Oh, now you are just teasing. Still, I could ask you whether yours would object to me showing you the city.”

“Oh, but I don’t have a girlfriend,” she retorted, making me laugh, and I hurried and replied, “You know what I mean, but fair enough. I don’t have one, so no objections on my side.”

I was already beginning to think that she was trying to find a way to escape it, but then her swift reply after my words convinced me otherwise. “In that case, I believe we will be fine.”

“So, see you tomorrow?” she asked after a short pause, and I felt that I was slowly beginning to relax.

“Okay. What about ten o’clock in front of the university?” I wondered, as I rushed to add, “We will work on vocabulary, so there is no need for you to drag the books along. Is that okay?”

I was ebullient and it was showing, but at the moment I couldn’t care less. All I could think was that she did accept. My heart was thumping for a completely other reason this time around, but I couldn’t bring myself to care. It wasn’t much of a date, but despite what I was aware of, my thoughts kept providing, ‘ _It’s a start_ ,’ in a chant.

“Sounds good. Bye,” she shyly replied. I could almost picture her biting on her lower lip, her cheeks blushing at those words. I only wished I could know if that was indeed the case.

“Bye,” I whispered a reply and ended the line, placing the phone back on the table and leaning into the sofa. A sigh involuntarily escaped my lips. My eyelashes brushed my cheekbones once I closed my eyes, a warm sensation engulfing in my chest.

My lips curved in a smile, as I felt beginning to relax from the bundle of nerves I was moments ago.

***

The night didn’t seem to go as fast as expected. Even though I tried to persuade myself to finally go to sleep and have some proper rest, somehow I ended up doing the complete opposite. It was as if my entire body was fighting the thoughts that my mind produced. If the mind ordered to calm down, my heart would start pounding in my chest. It was a battle, what my body was going through. A battle of sense and sensibility. Eventually, I stayed up until three in the morning – or at least that was the recollection of the last time my gaze landed on the phone and caught the time – turning in the bed and thinking of the following day.

I knew what we agreed on was only a day out, and could in no way classify as a date, but I was nevertheless nervous. I wanted to spend the day with Catherine more than I had desired anything in a long time. Since the day was simply refusing to arrive quickly, it was an agonizingly sweet anticipation to wait for it. There was something about Catherine which made me smile and made me feel like a teenager again.

I was thinking about her far too much, more than I should have allowed it. The intensity of the sentiments I nurtured were beginning to raise an alert in my senses. I did enjoy her company, but I was beginning to worry. She was, after all, my student and I couldn’t allow myself to go in the direction I was heading. And, I was heading there with full speed.

However, as much as I wanted to deny it, it was as clear as a day that I had become fond of her. More than I should have, for sure, but it was my heart that was in command of that part. It was not my rational mind that was leading me in the direction of something beyond friendship. I liked the way she shyly smiled when she was happy, I liked the way she bit on her lip when she was nervous, the way her sparkling eyes pierced through my gaze whenever I made her smile. I liked it when I made her smile. Simply, I liked her and I wanted to get to know her better.

Since all those thoughts were roaming through my mind, I barely got some rest even when I managed to doze off. The sleep that finally caught up with me was more because of my being tired rather than relaxed, so it didn’t exactly help me feel unwearied.

I opened my eyes, only to find the alarm from the clock on my nightstand angrily staring at me. It was as if it, through the blinking, was trying to tell me, “I tried to wake you up, you moron.”

I took my phone, just to check the time. I was somehow convinced I hadn’t overslept, but making sure was necessary. Just as I supposed, there was a window of more than two hours.

After turning and sprawling in the bed for a while, I sat up and headed for the bathroom. I spared a glance at the mirror only to find just the expectation of tiredness printed on my expression. From there, the morning was both a confusing rush and tempting anticipation.

I got dressed in a rush even though I knew I had plenty of time before we had agreed to meet. Oddly enough, picking out which clothes to wear took more time than the dressing itself. I made myself a strong cup of coffee which was meant to clear my head, and compensate for the lack of sleep which was clearly clinging and clouding my thoughts. I stretched out on the couch lazily, trying not to fall asleep, but the coffee finally seemed to have its effect of making me feel more awake than ever. It didn’t finish the preliminary job, as it also turned me into a hyperactive mess. Through my attempts to watch TV, I ended up fidgeting and nothing seemed interesting enough to catch my eye or steady my nerves.

“Christ, what is my problem? I act like a fifteen-year old,” I hissed through gritted teeth to prevent myself from screaming, as I got up from the couch. I took my phone and the car keys, shoving them in my pocket sloppily. I grabbed the jacket of the hanger as I passed through the hallway and left the house.

Given that I headed for the university too early and had no stops to make along the way, I thought I would be waiting for a while. I was ten minutes too early when I was upon arrival, and since I was under the impression women usually had the tendency to be irrevocably late, my presumption was founded, however incorrect because just as I turned on the corner and entered the parking lot, I realized how wrong I had been to think that.

I spotted Catherine right away. She was already there, waiting before the entrance of the university patiently. Her gaze seemed lost somewhere in the distance, so she didn’t even take notice of my arrival as a result. I parked the car and once I stepped out, I noticed she was intently looking in the direction of the horizon. I headed towards her. She didn’t notice me until I was only a few steps away, greeting her in a whisper as to not scare her, “Hey.”

Sheshook her head as though shaking away the thoughts, and turned towards me, greeting me back, “Hey. I thought I was going to wait for at least ten minutes. I got here far too early.”

“I actually thought the same thing,” I whispered through a smile, and then I went on, “But, I can see we were both wrong. Come on, let’s go.”

I motioned towards the path, allowing her to walk beside me as we both headed towards the car. I smiled under my breath while my gaze fixed on the path underneath my feet. I risked throwing a rapid glance towards her, only to see that her eyes were also settled on the path.

_‘Her warm smile, those blue eyes that were twinkling when looking at me. God, why does she have to be so beautiful?’_ I thought looking back down at the path before me, for a moment wishing to understand why and how I began liking her in the first place. I had no answers for that, but then again liking her might be considered to be an understatement.

She cut the silence short with a light chuckle and once I looked up at her, my gaze met with hers, as she wondered, “You are not going to drive like the last time, right? Cause if you are, I might as well catch a bus.”

"No, I am not. I promise you that," I replied sincerely, trying to assure her in my words. "I am usually a very responsible driver."

"Oh, really!?" she jokingly enquired, half-questioning and half-exclaiming in a teasing manner, the chuckle still not dying away fully.

"Yes, really," I confirmed once again, while observing her reaction. But, then I thought of another possibility and therefore I suggested, "Do you want to drive instead?"

It took her a second to reply, her smile shifting into something I couldn’t quite understand along with her entire expression, as she declined, "No, thanks. I will leave the driving to you. Thanks for asking, though."

Right after saying those words she entered the car, comfortably settling in her seat. Following her lead, I did the same.

"So, where exactly are we going?" she wondered, while fastening her seatbelt. Trying to reply to her question, while maintaining eye contact, proved to be extremely difficult. When she drifted her gaze away from mine, the situation didn’t get any easier. As she was buckling the belt, her hair falling somewhat to cover her face, she appeared more than beautiful.

Her gaze focused on the buckle, as she was subconsciously biting her lip, her cheeks flushed. It all drove me in, making me wish to kiss her right on the spot and see if all the thoughts which roamed my head had any foundation. I wished nothing more but to capture those red lips with my own until both of us were left out of breath. I felt my heart pounding harder, while my body was fighting the urge to contemplate the orders of my desires. I managed to pull myself together, as she curiously looked up, waiting for my answer.

"You will see. It is a surprise, so be patient,” I croaked out, just after clearing my throat. It was barely audible, my voice hoarse despite clearing my throat. “In the meantime, while I am driving we could work on the vocabulary. What do you think?"

Catherine only nodded as a response, and I was pulled out of the lot and headed for our destination.

“So, what should we begin with?” I asked her, once I was able to both stir the car and begin a conversation, addressing her a brief gaze and a smile.

“Well, technically you are the mentor. So, I think it is your job to decide what we should begin with, don’t you?” she cheerfully replied, grinning at me.

“Okay, what about something you might not know?” I teased and her smile disappeared, her eyes shooting a disapproving look. But, I ignored it and asked her, “What is the Norwegian word for architecture?”

“Arkitektur,” she instantly replied, which honestly came as a surprise for me. The word didn’t differ much from the English version of it, but it still needed a basic encounter with the word to voice it as correctly as she did. I remembered not of actually mentioning it and yet she knew it, with the exact pronunciation, without taking time to even consider the reply.

I couldn’t hide my astonishment, so I right away asked, “You knew that?”

“Yeah, it was the first thing I looked up in the dictionary.” She exhaled.

“Why?” I further inquired.

“Because, it is what I love,” She said, her gaze relocating out of the window. I focused on the road, yet our vocabulary lesson continuing during the drive.

***

I stepped out of the car, shutting the door behind me in haste, as I moved to the passenger’s side and opened the door for Catherine. I offered her my hand to help her out, noticing a slight reluctance in her as she took it. When she finally got out, facing me, I smiled and said, “Kate, welcome to The National Museum of Architecture.”

She looked at me, a smile appearing on her lips within seconds, before parting them to let out a contented sigh. Her hand hurried to cover her mouth, just as a gasp of surprise escaped her, this time around muffled. I beamed at her because of her reaction. The amount of happiness she was projecting was something I didn’t anticipate in the slightest. I knew she liked architecture, she also mentioned it was her passion, but she was too overwhelmed at the proceedings, which surprised me.

Before I could word out anything else, while I was observing her reaction, she turned towards me and pulled me into a tight hug, one although initially surprised I reciprocated when I could gather my surroundings. The hug was the most spontaneous action she had ever made around me, consequently addressing yet another shock to my senses. I could feel her hair tingling my neck as her scent enveloped me, her arms wrapped around my neck.

I honestly hoped my increased heartbeat was hidden enough under the clothing from being unveiled. Before I knew it, she pulled away just as quickly making me feel the loss of her warmth, as she exclaimed, “Thank you so much. Oh my God, thank you.”

I gave her a smile once I managed to catch her gaze, asking her, “Shall we go in or do you need a moment?”

“Oh, I need a moment. I would need a few hours actually. So, we can go in.”

“Come on, then,” I insisted, resting my palm flat on her shoulder blade urging her to head towards the door by my side. Once the ticket was paid, we walked in the hallway, before stepping inside the first room, and we started looking around. I was actually observing Kate’s reactions more than I was looking around the museum, but since I had previously been there and already knew the place, I saw no loss in focusing on her.

Her gaze was shifting from one object to another with burning interest, as though she was drinking in everything before her eyes. I could notice it, since it was the exact same look I had the first time I was at the museum. I had the same look of contempt printed all over my face when Vegard brought me at the building. He, of course, knew I had wanted to visit the place since it had first opened, but couldn’t manage to find the time to do so. He told me he had something planned for my birthday, but it nevertheless managed to surprise me to the fullest. It was the best birthday gift I had ever gotten, and I was glad that she shared the same enthusiasm.

“The National Museum of Architecture was opened in 2008,” I began, imagining she would want to hear more about it. “The main building was designed by –”

She interrupted me, once again surprising me since I didn’t anticipate that she would know the detail. “Christian Heinrich Grosch, I know.”

Despite the utter disbelief in which I was cast, consequentially happening after everything from the day, I managed to tease her, “Is there something you don’t know?”

Her gaze was still investigating pieces of the exhibition. “Yes, for example, with the exception of that last fact I don’t know anything else about this place.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to start a sentence only for you to interrupt me again.”

She looked up, just to reply. “Yes, I am sure. I think I had remembered this without having the wish to do so. And, I will not interrupt even if I know it. I give you my word.”

I nodded slightly, before her interest was again pinned on everything but me. “Before being open as a museum, the buildings were adapted and extended by Sverre Fehn, who was awarded the Pritzker Architecture Prize in 1997,” I informed her diligently, knowing that even though she was extremely focused on capturing every detail she could perceive what I was telling her as well.

She smiled at me briefly, as she continued to scan the room, her interest nothing but peaked. I had more information to share with her, but the spark in her eyes when they landed on another, unseen object was not allowing me to speak and break the spell in which she was engrossed.

I was glad she was enjoying herself, more so than I anticipated, so I ended up only following her lead for a couple of hours while she was scanning the entirety of the exhibitions. When I glanced at my watch and finally caught the time, I faced Kate and asked her, "Would you like to see some parts of the exhibition in the study room?"

"I would love to, but shouldn't you order them a few days earlier?" she wondered, fixing her puzzled gaze on mine.

I nonchalantly smiled and gave her a teasing wink, just when I said, "Yes, but I did order some things. I was planning on coming here this week as it was. I need to do some research, so I ordered some stuff. If you want to see them come on, study room is this way."

The enthusiastic viewing of the artifacts, in the partially stuffed room, passed swiftly. Catherine enjoyed it more than I predicted she would. She was carefully observing, while I was taking the notes I needed. Before leaving the museum, we headed for the shop, whereupon Catherine stumbled upon one of my books, enthusiastically scanning through it and deciding to buy it, even though I insisted on her not wasting her money for it. I was hushed with the words, “I am not wasting money. Despite your effort to give the worst possible recommendation, I am actually planning on reading this.”

“Well, you are doing that on your own insistence. Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” I joked.

We left the museum after she bought it.

Once we were outside, the fresh air reaching our senses, she repeated herself from earlier, “Thank you so much for today. This was amazing.”

“Anytime,” I smiled at her, adding, “But there is something else.”

***

I took her to the park I frequented, which was located close to my house. It was my favorite place, where I always went to think and relax. Maybe because it was peaceful and maybe because it was absolutely stunning. Either way, I wanted to share it with her. The sun was already drowning behind the horizon, leaving a trail of blood on the sky, announcing the night when we stopped our walk in order to sit down.

“This place is breathtaking,” Catherine exhaled, before looking directly at me. “I really hope that there aren’t any paparazzi around.”

Those words caught me by surprise so my gaze snapped up to meet hers almost immediately, but it was rather obvious she was bound to find out about my being a celebrity. After all, she was in the very place, where everyone recognized me, gawked at me and she was counted in the best informed group of people in the world - students. I did anticipate she would be presented with that celebrity part of my life, sooner or later. Yet, I couldn’t bring myself to say any word whatsoever, feeling as if I was caught red-handed in an awkward situation. Or, maybe it was only the feeling of guilt since I didn’t tell her myself.

Noticing I was avoiding her gaze, not replying anything at all, she continued, matter-of-factly, “After all you are a celebrity.”

Her voice sounded just as it always did. There was no judgment, no disapproval, no reproach. It was only normal, like she was just stating something ordinary. Despite myself, I smiled at that, glad nothing else was hidden behind her words.

It gave me encouragement to continue the conversation, without dreading judgment, by saying, “You caught on that rumor finally, huh?”

“Yeah, Adela was shockingly informative. It explains why she wasn’t being herself when she first saw you. Why didn’t you tell me you were one?”

I faced her, only to find her gaze examining my expression. I shrugged my shoulders, through a whisper uttering, “I don’t know really, I guess I just wanted you to behave normal around me.”

“And you thought telling me would change it?” she swiftly asked, her expression puzzled.

“Honestly, when you have people constantly gawking at you, some even stalking you – the paparazzi included; you just want to feel as normal as possible at those few moments of privacy you get to have. Or rather get to steal from the flashing cameras.” I truthfully related everything that was on the bottom of my heart. She was a keen listener and I found that the environment and her company gave me strength to open up my feelings and thoughts. “Don’t blame me for thinking that you would not be an exception. I am sorry I thought it, though.”

“It is okay, I don’t mind. Is it really that tough then?” she inquired, only urging me to continue.

“Yes, it can be from time to time,” I admitted. “You know, I could very well have done without the attention I get. At times it’s nice to get acknowledgement of what you do. But I’m not that comfortable with being ‘seen’,” I uttered, my fingers immediately placing an apostrophe on the word. “When I have the job I have, many people probably think I’m fond of attention. It can be flattering, I must admit, but privately I prefer sitting down in the far corners.”

“Well, I am sorry,” she whispered, her gaze trailing off to meet the horizon.

“Am I making you feel uncomfortable?” I asked her, not wanting to bore her with my nonsense.

“No, you are not.” A shy smile was directed at me. “But, I have never been in such a position, so I can’t give my own input. I can see your point, though.”

“So, what did Adela exactly tell you about me?” I wondered, since I knew there were some pretty ridiculous recordings of me out there, so my curiosity was more than understandable.

“Well, I will put it this way,” she paused dramatically, “I know what the fuss relating my name was all about.” She ended with a chuckle, making it rather impossible for me not to join in.

“You really didn’t know the song before?” I asked, still having hard time to believe that such was the case.

“No, I had never heard of it, which is probably why I didn’t know you either,” she added, through a giggle. “Not knowing a song that went viral within hours. Lame, huh?”

“No, not at all. Just strange. So, now that you do know it, what do you think of it?”

“Honestly, it is a catchy song, but I will not be becoming a fan,” she replied, after which she furrowed her eyebrows looking up at the sky while biting the inside of her cheek quite noticeably. I kept my eyes on her, as she went on, “But I do have to ask you one question though.”

“Go on.”

“I don’t remember the title of the song, but it was something about liking the dub step.”

“You saw that too?” I asked, freaked out as much as I could be. I thought whatever she saw, with the exception of the video where I was nude, couldn’t get any worse than that, as the song was by far the least favorite thing I did.

“Yep, Adela showed me a couple of dozen videos.”

“Couple of dozen?! Oh, God!” I exclaimed, but soon realizing where I was, I lowered my voice, “You must think, oh I am not sure I even want to know.”

“We will get back to what I think later. Now I have to ask about the song. There was this segment when you scream ‘Please, just take this fucking flowers’, so I was just wondering whether that was the way people in Norway always treat ladies or was that you in particular?”

She was grinning, her gaze locking with mind for a second, and then drifting somewhere aside, the smile never fading in the least.

“Oh, you really are constantly teasing.” I received a cocked eyebrow at my words.

“I am sorry, I just… I just couldn’t help it,” She mumbled through a smirk. “In all seriousness now, how is working with your brother?”

“Working with Vegard is absolutely amazing. It is more fun with him around, that is for sure. Besides, it is what makes me go on. It makes me incapable of quitting everything – the work, the talk show and the fame.”

Pushing a strand of hair behind her ear, she continued, “So you and your brother are very close then?”

“Yeah, we are. We have always been. I don’t know how to explain it to you, but it is as if –” I stopped short, trying to find the right words. People rarely understood the connection Vegard and I shared, making it that much harder to depict it somewhat faithfully, particularly to those who didn’t know him or hadn’t seen us work together.

“Time passes faster when you are with him.”

“Exactly!” I exclaimed. “The thing is Vegard and I had this unexplainable, unavoidable connection since we were just kids. It was like we were hidden in a small world of ours, the walls of which were unbreachable for everyone on the outside. We knew exactly what the other thought and felt. So, being able to do something I love with someone I love is the best part of it all.”

The last tremble of my vocal chords got registered, before dying off in the air, as the sun was falling deeper down the horizon, darkening the sky and sharpening the air with coolness.

We sat there in silence, the breeze playfully messing up both mine and Kate’s hair, as we were enjoying the sunset. The relaxing silence reminded me that even though I complained about my life and she had the ability to find out everything just by googling my name, I didn’t bother to ask anything about hers.

I took a deep breath and without shifting my gaze, I inquired, “So, what about you?”

“What about me?” she asked in a whisper, ever so low and trancelike.

“Well, I complained about my stressful life. Isn’t it now your turn to complain?”

“Oh, look who is teasing now,” she commented, before answering, “My life is not at all interesting. Giving you yet another nondescript picture would definitely ruin the charm of this sunset.”

“Nonsense, there must be something. You are the foxiest person I know,” I replied, all too hastily, and regretted my words at the very second. I could feel my heart picking up the pace on its own, and my mind scolding my mouth for its unnecessary speed. Thoughts, on occasion, needed to be kept secret, and this was most definitely such an occasion. She didn’t take it against me though. In fact, despite her silence, she gave me a small, approving smile, and it was all I needed to make me relax again, and yet I had to ask her, “Why did you say that?”

I looked at her, but she only silently shook her head. As her eyes were sailing with the sun, the bright light that landed on her irises was immediately dimming becoming irreversibly lost. She appeared to be sad, burdened even. I wanted to enquire, but above all I wanted to see her smile again. As cheerfully as I could pull it off, I said, “Come on, there must be someone in England you miss.”

“Yes, just my family,” she mumbled, ever so slow.

“Come on, a boyfriend or some friends must be in the picture as well.”

She reluctantly uttered, “Not really, no. None of that.”

I shrugged my shoulders, rather confused and she must have caught it since she added, “Told you I was boring.”

“Wait, not a single friend?” I wondered. Her choice of words – surely, that was just an expression.

“Not one. As you can see I am not really good at that part.” It was a swift, forced smile, but it was a start.

“I think you are doing just fine.”

“Really?” she sardonically asked. “Adela is the only friend I made since I got here, and it was practically a necessity since we share the same roof, and I have scarcely spoken to someone else.”

“I would like to flatter myself that I might be a friend.”

“You are,” she whispered, ever so softly. Yet, behind the honesty, there was a slight trace of something unrecognizable in her voice. Something between sadness and belief. “But, uhm –”

“What?” I inquired, repenting for interrupting her the very next second.

She shook her head. “Nothing.”

“No, tell me. What is it?” I insisted.

“It is silly. Can we just pretend I never said the ‘but’?” she wondered, her gaze locking with mine, her eyes sparkling from the remaining sun beams. I wished to know what was hidden behind that single, yet puzzling word, but I still nodded in agreement thinking that my curiosity could be put aside. Then, maybe when she was ready, she would share it.

“We should get going,” I whispered, as the first stars sparkled on the sky.


	13. Catherine: It Came Upon the Moonlight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catherine goes home for the weekend, and family stuff. Sorry, no Bård :/

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Speaking of sorry, everyone please forgive me for taking this long to update the story!  
> Not that it is a good enough excuse, but I had a pile of obligations and I barely had the time to take a breath, let alone write. Now, however, instead of studying for my upcoming exams I wrote a new chapter. As I couldn't properly focus, I decided to do something at least somewhat productive.  
> This chapter is not betad, which means mistakes are present. So, kindly ignore them or point them out. I hope it is good enough to be understood.  
> [ Renebu ](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Renebu/pseuds/Renebu), thanks for the bookmark! <3  
> I hope everyone enjoys the chapter, and I will try and update sooner this time around.

I didn’t want to inform my mum that I was planning on flying back home for the weekend, simply for the reason she would be spared the worry she was likely to inflict upon herself during my flight. I packed the necessary things in one bag the night before and booked a place on the earliest flight I thought I would manage to catch after classes were over.

I informed Adela and her family I was going away for the weekend, so right after my classes on Friday I headed for the airport. That particular day was no exception from the normal routine, considering that classes exhausted me, as always. Therefore, when I reached the airport all I could wish for was to finally board the plane and be able to catch some rest.

After going through the frustratingly dreary procedures, I was glad to be in my seat at last. I was truly hoping I would fall asleep and manage to relax during the arduous two-hour trip. Even though my body was in the aftermath of a hectic week, and exhaustion was overwhelming my already blocked, sleep-deprived mind, closing my eyes didn’t bring the sleep any closer.

In fact, instead of managing to settle down from the overpowering week and relax, my mind started racing from one subject to the next, seemingly trying to find the least wanted topic, and thus dragging me in a forbidden zone. It was the thought of _him_ , which was not allowing me to have some peace. The thought of him, which had been nested somewhere in the back of my head throughout the entire week and left its hiding place at moments when nothing was there to distract me.

The thought of Bård filled all the blanks in my days during the previous week. All the free time was occupied on recalling events and considering sentiments. And once I was leaning back in my seat, alone on a plane, having nothing to do and nowhere to escape, the very thought didn’t fail to reappear. Saying I was confused about what seemed to be drawing me back to Bård would be an understatement. Confusion was only the beginning of how I felt, the start of what I thought.

I couldn’t explain my own mess to myself. None of what was happening to me, was something I had experienced before, at least not with the even remotely similar intensity. My thoughts were captives of a strange prison, one which did not allow me to scan them and arrange them. Prison which was only placing them up for a view, but was not allowing me to further work on them, investigate them.

Of one I was sure, I was not only thinking of his apparent breathtaking appearance. The phase when I admired his physique was far behind. It was not only that I thought he was good-looking anymore. It was also the fact that he was the one who treated me better than nearly everyone I have ever known. It was the small details, the tiny things he did to make me smile. It was the way he knew how to surprise me.

And it was definitely the way I felt when he was around me. My heartbeat, which raced whenever he was close to me, the skin burns I felt when our hands would accidently brush in the passing, and as cliché as it had all sounded and as unbelievable as I had considered it before, I was fairly sure I was set on rethinking my own beliefs guided merely by my sentiments. There was also the warmth which filled my senses when he smiled. The smile which would involuntarily appear on my face when he furrowed his eyebrows looking for an answer to a certain question.

He was a friend and he was the best one I had ever had. Maybe even something more than a friend.

I couldn’t help but wonder if he thought the same about me. I wanted to know whether he liked me just as much as I liked him, whether he considered me a friend or something beyond one, or even maybe nothing at all.  He did say he considered us to be friends, and yet I was dwelling upon the question even more than before, like his words had been a trigger to the very question which I hadn’t known to had been bugging me before.

What was the reason, I couldn’t have been sure. But, I wanted him to like me. I found myself unconsciously smiling as the plane landed. I shook of the thought, wondering how I managed to miss the announcements by the staff which were likely to have happened just moments earlier, grabbed my bag once the crowd seemed to deflate and left the plane.

I was grateful that my bag was small enough and could pass along as hand baggage, making it easier for me to quickly exit the airport. The pain shooting through my head made me grateful for my swiftness, when I got the first cab I could manage to catch, before someone else rushed inside before me, and when soon enough I was on my way home to see mum and Fred after nearly two months.

I was glad to be back, even though it was just for two days. As strange as it was bound to seem I had missed everything about London – the weather, the house and above all I had missed my family. So, as I rang the doorbell the all too familiar feeling of happiness spread through every cell of my body without a possible way of being contained. Neither could be contained the shock on my mother’s face, as her gaze landed on me upon opening the door.

“Katie?” she exclaimed in utter disbelief, which was more than understandable. At least, the surprise of my appearing on the doorstep out of the blue, was more than enough to charm a smile on my mother’s face.

“Hi, mum,” I greeted her cheerfully ignoring the pounding in my temples, as she pulled me into a tight hug, forgetting that we were still standing on the doorstep. I reciprocated, even though I was fully aware of the location. Still, I had missed her so much that it really didn’t matter where we were. I tried hard to fight off the tears threatening to escape, already playing a game of overpowering with my eyelashes, pulling my mum even closer in the process.

After she was satisfied and convinced that it was indeed me that was standing there in front of her, she whispered, “Come on in.”

I did as I was told – stepping into the house within moments.

“Is Fred at home?” I waited no more than a second to enquire, as I took off my coat placing it on hanger in the hallway, turning to face mum.

“Yeah, he is upstairs. Studying, I think,” she gave me the answer.

“Uh, he has grown really serious about that, hasn’t he?” I wondered, more to myself than to mum, amazed that my brother actually held on to his wish to study for more than two months. He was extremely smart, but unlike me, he was never willing to put enough effort into studying, thinking that it wouldn’t lead into anything useful. Yet, my words seemed to finally have a positive effect on him.

“Yeah, he has. All thanks to you.”

“Are we going to call him down or should I do upstairs and surprise him?” I half-whispered, not wanting to reveal my being here to my brother.

No reply came from my mum, she was simply shifting her gaze between my face and my hands that were for some reason nervously playing with my scarf. I made the decision on my own, not wanting to think maybe my mother just took notice of an unnamed change in me.

“I will go and knock on his door,” I murmured, as I gave my mom a curt nod accompanied with a smile, before heading on the second floor, to my brother’s room. I stopped before the door, considering how to proceed. It has been a while since I had seen him, his weirdly messy brown hair and his crocked teasing smile. It was only then I realized just how much I’ve missed him. My frozen state could in no way be helped as I stood there, listening to the loud music that was piercing through the door from inside the room reaching my senses, as I fell into a trance.

***

It was an ordinary, sunny afternoon that day and I was only sixteen years old. Not the oldest or wisest person at the time, but old enough to know what was happening. Indeed, I was glad that after years of trying, my mom and dad finally returned from the doctors with the news was going to have a brother. They were happy, both of them radiating with a case of heightened spirits, and both of them had a beaming smile, as they informed me I was soon going to become a sister. It was, mildly put, an overwhelming information for me, given I had absolutely no idea what being an older sister entailed, and thus had no perception whatsoever as to what to think or how to behave.

The notion of having a younger sibling was something I had considered, and I genuinely believed I even wanted to have one more than anything else, but at that moment just as I heard the news, it struck me I had no way of knowing how I felt until the very moment. Little did I know, the doubts were unnecessary as it was all going to come later all by itself.

As scared as I was and as excited as I was and as much as I wanted to get ready, it felt that absolutely nothing could prepare me for what it was that was coming. As useful as conversations with my parents were, I was still battling with the question if I was going to be a good sister. My mother kept shaking her head at me for thinking silliness, as she put it, and dad went about his way convincing me I would do splendidly.

The day I returned home from school to an empty house, I knew immediately that they were in the hospital and that it was finally happening.

I couldn’t find any note addressed to me, so I assumed dad must have gone into a state of panic, which I only then learned was what happened when I was coming in the world, as well. It was a ridiculous story, one which I heard a couple of times during my mum’s pregnancy. So, I simply wanted to make sure they were alright. Therefore I dialed my dad’s number and within moments he answered the phone, anxiety and rush the most noticeable tones in his voice, albeit lacing with happiness. The conversation was short and the necessary confirmation was given.

When we ended the call, an overwhelming wave rushed through me, as I collapsed onto the sofa in our living room practically gasping for breath. It was at first a realization for me – that I was going to be a sister, that the next time I would see my parents, they would also be the parents of my brother. After the shock of it all passed, I felt a new feeling that was beginning to invigorate in my chest. To say it was only gladness would be blunt and hollow.

I felt my heart ponding at the speed of light, as a vivacious laughter escaped my lungs drowning away the silence of the empty house.

“I am going to be a sister,” I exclaimed, the words rushing out of my mouth, as I jumped on my feet taking my jacket and locking the house behind, heading for the hospital.

“Hell, if I am staying at home and not being there when my brother is born.” I whispered, as I put on my jacket.

***

After giving my mind a moment to recollect my trembling self from the memory and after wiping my tears, which had irreversibly started flowing down my cheeks without permission with the back of my hand, I decisively knocked on the door, hoping that the music wasn’t going to stop Fred from hearing the knock.

“Come on in,” I heard my brother’s voice, as he lowered the volume of the music. I turned the doorknob and I peeked in the room, before stepping in, while saying, “Hey, Fred.”

The moment Fred heard my voice and saw me standing there, his expression changed. A smile appeared on the corners of his lips, as he ran towards me spreading his arms and pulling me into a hug.

No words escaped his lips, as no words were in fact needed. I knew the extent of his feelings at that exact moment of overwhelmed senses, simply because it was in fact the same way I felt. That hug was all the contact I had shared with my brother in more than two months, it was the only support we had given each other. And we needed that support, we were all to one another. I knew he needed me just as much as I needed him.

He needed me to give him strength, raise his courage, be there for him whenever he felt sad, lonely. I wished to be next to him because he was what I had left, the one that could make me go on without falling apart. It was my savior what I saw in him. Fred was a splitting image of dad, his cheerful personality included. Therefore it was understandable that I would count on my brother’s smile in all the gloomy days.

We slowly parted, as I managed to place a kiss on his forehead in the process. When my gaze wandered down to his face, the flushed cheeks and wet eyes welcomed it. Fred was crying, and I was barely holding on to the tears that were building up, while trying to paralyze the sob that was threatening to escape my throat.

“No, I have to be the strong one,” I thought, as I locked my brother’s gaze in mine, gently saying, “Hey, I am here. Don’t cry.”

Instead of receiving a reply or charming a smile out of my brother, I only reinforced Fred’s crying. Another tear rolled down his cheek, as he let out a loud sob. Without thinking I pulled him in yet another hug, even tighter than the previous one, my hands wrapping around him momentarily.

I held my brother close, my body stiffening to prevent him from noticing the shivering of my frame, my teeth biting on my lip with an intensity so strong that was bringing an alert of sharp pain to my brain; and yet it was not enough to stop the blistering warmth to shape into a tear and roll down my cheek ending up on Fred’s shoulder.

“That much of me being the strong one,” passed my mind traitorously, while we stood there hugging. We would have stayed there for God knows how long, had not my mother have called us down to join her.

Before I could go down or let Fred do the same, I wanted to make sure that Fred wiped his tears. Having the visit transform into a crying marathon was the last thing I had planned, or was counting on. It was a short time we had to be together for. And it was one of few rare occasions, since I had no idea when I would be able to get back home again, so I wished to get the best out of it.

“Hey, no crying okay? I am here, it is fine,” I murmured, as I wiped his tears away, continuing with the words, a slightly stricter tone to my voice, “Fred, okay?”

His gaze locked in mine and he knew what I had to say, without me needing to do so. He knew that it was all going to be fine, that I would be there for him no matter what.

“Okay,” he whispered, a smile forming at the corner of his lips. He ran his fingers over his eyes to wipe what was left of the tears, as I said, “Come on, let’s go downstairs, before mum drags us down herself.”

Albeit unexpected, the light chuckle which erupted in the room, made me feel more relaxed than I’ve felt recently. I smiled at Fred and since we were all set, we both headed downstairs.

Mum was settled in the living room, taking space at the very edge of the couch, which meant the seat next to her was meant to be for me. It was a silent request, one which I complied with without any hesitation, just as Fred placed himself on the other side of the couch.

“So, what made you come over Katie?” mum asked, fashionably curious, thus breaking the silence which filled the room.

“We were going through the material from the first two months in classes, so I had nothing new to work on during the weekend. I thought since the weekend is pretty much free, I might as well use it to pay you a visit.”

“But why not tell us?” Fred continued, his voice an octave higher.

Smirking, I directed my brother a wink, “Well, I wanted it to be a surprise.”

“That you managed to achieve,” mum commented through a hum, her impeccable timing for throwing a sarcastic remark not failing her. “So, how is Norway? And how is university?”

I clasped my hands over my lap. “Oh, it is amazing. Norway, I mean. The university is pretty much the same as it is here.”

“So, have you made any new friends?” Fred impatiently asked, changing places with mum in pitching in a question in the conversation, which was understandable, since I assumed they both wanted to know as much as it was possible about everything related to me.

“A couple,” I whispered, reluctant to say something else. Not that I didn’t want to share it with my family, it was more about me trying to avoid the thought. Besides, I was extremely tired, which in itself shouldn’t be considered as an excuse in conversing with my family, but it still didn’t make me willing to talk about Bård.

“Well, tell us more about them,” mum insisted, her timing again hitting the mark. Unfortunately it only meant there was no way I was avoiding the talk. My lips quirked at the way I directed myself in an interrogation, my hand finding its way to my neck to scratch away the nervousness, as always.

“There isn’t much to tell really,” I altered the truth once again, hope building up when it took my mum and brother more than per usual, to come up with a reply.

Yet, the entirety of my hopes went crushing into the abyss when mum said, “Okay, we will ask questions if you don’t know where to start. What are their names?”

In all honesty, my entire day had passed in thinking about Bård, which made me disinclined to make a conversation in which he was bound to take an enormous part; given it was only him and Adela who were on the new friends list upon which an inquiry was made. Then again, I couldn’t simply lie to my family and make up random names just because I was unwilling to start a conversation which included him.

“Adela and Bård,” I exhaled a breath, one which I didn’t know I was keeping right until I spoke.

“Adela is with the family where you are staying, right?” mum went on.

“Yeah, she is and she has been really nice, so we got close. She has been awfully supportive and I feel that I can talk to her without being judged, which is good,” I swiftly replied.

“Well, that is amazing!” mum exclaimed, sharing my enthusiasm. “I am glad you are getting along. I suppose you spend quite a lot of time together.”

“No, not really. University is taking quite a lot of our time, so during the week we barely get to see each other. It is mostly during the weekends that we get to talk and go out.”

“So, she took you out around Oslo?”

“Not exactly around Oslo. It was mostly around the neighbourhood, just so that she could take the opportunity of showing me the closest shopping center,” I explained, at which mum simply commented, “Oh, well, she is at least taking you out.”

“Did you get to go to the museum of architecture?” Fred immediately asked, not taking me by surprise, since I had told him it was my wish to visit the place.

“Yeah, I did.”

“And what is it like? Did you like it?” Fred hastily wondered.

“It was absolutely brilliant – the building is amazing and the exhibitions were spectacular. I think I might go once again.”

It was a moment of silence that spread in the room, before my mother’s question interrupted it, “So, did Adela take you there or did you go all by yourself?”

And, that was just the topic I was beginning to think would slip mum’s notice.

“Actually, it was Bård who took me there. He is also an architect, so he had some documents to check and took the opportunity to show me around the place,” I informed her, hoping that after that the conversation would die off, but the hope was disrupted when mum asked, “Wait, he is an architect? How did you meet him?”

“He is my professor. He teaches architecture at the University of Oslo.”

“So, how is it exactly that the friendship works?” I could detect a dose of sarcasm in my mother’s voice, which to be honest I didn’t appreciate and yet I could understand her. Or could I?

“So what if he is my professor?” I abruptly asked her, my gaze flickering to meet hers. I was sure I was radiating anger in the minimum, as I sighed, while continuing with the words, “Does that mean that shouldn’t or couldn’t be my friend?”

I regretted my words almost immediately after uttering them, since it was unnecessary to address my mother in such a tone, not to mention be entirely disrespectful; before taking into consideration that the reason behind the sarcasm was most likely a badly timed joke rather than an insult. I felt a wave of shame wash over me, as I noticed the change in my mother’s expression.

“No, I didn’t mean it like that, Katie,” she began, most likely intending to apologize, but I cut her short, knowing it was me who should do that very thing, “I am really sorry, mum. I didn’t mean to burst out, I just… I guess I am just tired.”

I shrugged my shoulders, barely meeting her gaze.

“It is okay, Katie,” she whispered, and did mean it, though I could see the tears which were springing in my mother’s eyes, tears she so unsuccessfully tried to hide. The room began filling up with awkward silence, and even though in normal circumstances I would try to calm mum down and scare away the tears, particularly when I was the one who caused them, it seemed that at that point all I wanted was to withdraw to my room.

Just as an announcement, I said, “I’m gonna go to bed. We can talk in the morning. Good night.”

I got up, and after kissing both mum and Fred, I ran up the stairs heading for my room. I swiftly entered my room, the nook I had missed immensely over the past months. As I closed the door of my room behind me and leaned back on the door to support my weight, I was immediately met with the picture of Bård Ylvisåker on the walls of my closed eyes.

I was alone for not more than few moments and he was the first thing I thought of. It was partially understandable after the conversation which took place in the living room, only moments ago, but it was not because of it and I knew it. It made me smile, the thought of him smiling at my jokes seemed to chase all the uneasiness away. His pacing up and down the amphitheater, while he was enthusiastically trying to explain a certain part of the lecture, his thoughts wrapped on the matter in hand as if the rest of the world was inexistent.

He managed to drive away the feeling of guilt I felt after snapping at mum. I knew I would apologize in the morning properly, but as I crawled under the covers in my bed, all I could register was the exhaustion taking over me. In less than few moments I drifted off to sleep – the fact that I was tired the one reason which prevented me from twisting and turning in bed, whilst trying to fall asleep, reconsidering my words.

***

During the entire night I was restlessly turning in bed, in a hazy state between sleep and reality, which as a consequence brought a splitting headache in the morning. From the moment I opened my eyes, I felt as if I had been hit with a trunk full of books, so I parted from the bed with hesitation.

I left the room, as quietly as I could manage, not wanting to disturb the dreams of anyone in the house and made my way to the kitchen. I was in a desperate need of a cup of coffee, which hopefully was going to help me with the blunt pain that which frequently appearing in the back of my skull. I grunted as I felt the dull pain once again hit my sensitive nerves, curling in on myself as though it was the help needed to make it go away. I let the water boil, and leaned against the first stable counter.

My thumb and index finger started running circles on my temporal bones, as I was trying to relax the tense muscles on my aching, sore neck with my other hand. I took a deep breath, when I began to feel I was relaxing under the pressure which my fingers where applying to the source of dull thud. I sighed in pleasure, realizing the pain was slightly easing.

When the coffee was ready and I placed the cup on the glass table, I remembered I didn’t even glance at my phone to check on the time. For the sole purpose of checking the time, I headed into the living room, only to see it was far too early to be out of bed. It was barely five o’clock.

I sighed, feeling helpless for no reason at all and just as I was about to return to the kitchen, my glance landed on the shelf above the TV. I froze at my father’s framed picture, the very one that was used for the funeral. He was smiling on the picture, that nonchalant smile which spoke all would be fine no matter what, making few adorable crinkles around his eyes give familiarity to the face.

I lowered my look onto my feet and bit my lip, when heading for the kitchen. Oddly enough, I found the thought of dad watching over us had never ceased to live inside of me. It was maybe a nonsensical, childish belief and yet it couldn’t be helped. Knowing that he might be there, somewhere – anywhere for that matter, watching over us all, made me think that after all Fred might have his guardian angel watching over him while I was away.

I almost jumped at my mother’s presence. It was that I was far too enraptured in my thoughts, to notice I had remained staring at my father’s picture for the amount of time which it must have taken my mother to get from her room and enter the kitchen undetected.

She was in no better condition than myself, since the first thing I noticed about her were the red eyes. A painful sting to my chest left me breathless for a second, as I was trying to fight off the intruding presence of a settling lump in my throat.

From the anger that arose from the consequences of my own sloppy action, I clenched my fists into a ball; so much so that I felt the nails beginning to dig into my skin. It was no deliberate action to be sure, but it had hurt my mother even more than I had expected. Hurting her was something that both stung like a bite from a bee and disappointed me beyond explanation. How could I have been so recklessly incomprehensive for a tiny joke, as to burst out so and cause such an aftermath?

I began approaching mum slowly, yet not silently. It was not my intention to scare her, it was to repent for my actions. Knowing mum, she had already forgiven me; but I wasn’t going to escape the apologizing because of the pureness of her heart.

When she spotted me, the change in her was obvious. She was doing her best not to break into a cry, and her best was nowhere near good enough to prevent me from noticing.

"It is you - I thought it was Fred," she spoke first, quietly. No ceremonies, no good morning - that was mum. She considered greetings in the morning or saying ‘bless you’ each time anyone sneezed to be an omissible, inconsequential fashion and never got around to practicing it. Fred was taking after her in that belief, but to my dad’s great relief his little girl considered it to be a polite way to converse with people – just as he did.

"Fred?" I whispered.

"Yeah, he usually wakes up before me lately. To study."

I nearly squealed. "At five? I didn't even wake up that early to study."

It was not long before my mum replied. "No, you stayed up until five and entered, or rather sneaked into the bedroom to wake me up so you would tell me to make you get up at twelve."

“That I did, guilty as charged.” I smiled, the smile barely reaching its potential before dying out. I knew I would have to proceed sooner or later, wishing it to be later rather than sooner. One simple reason for that was that I didn’t want to bring up something that was painful for both of us, but also not wanting to prolong what was necessary to be done – not being a wish to get is over with, it was a necessity to express the sorry I was feeling.

My mother’s smile didn’t even appear. I could notice that, since I was intensely staring at her trying to pick my words and begin. The newly set awkwardness into the room was further pressuring me into no longer avoiding the inevitable conversation. Not that I was planning to. "Mum," I hesitantly began.

She only looked up at me, as I sat down on the table where I had previously placed my cup, and reached for my mum’s hand. When the warm skin was under my touch, and once I could gather up the breath I needed, I continued.

"I am so sorry about last night mum.” I paused. “I don't know why I said what I said or the way I said it," I whispered. I looked directly at my mother’s eyes, catching her gaze, and I could see what I knew would be there. It was forgiveness – I was already forgiven. Still, it felt good to word it out.

"It is fine, Katie."

"No, mum it is not," I cut in softly. "You were right and that question was right on the point, which I think is one of the reasons for my behavior."

I uttered those words, without knowing they were already present somewhere in the back of my head. Once I did, I realized and understood what made me react the way I did. That was what laid behind the outburst – not knowing what we were, how we worked. Why I was so worried and uncertain in relation to that, I didn’t know.

I knew finding answers for all the questions I had captivating my thoughts, would be easier if I went on with the conversation with my mother. It was always like that. When I spoke with her, she only needed to hear me out – listen without any word, and I would reach the conclusion I needed. "I don't know how the friendship really works and that got to me. But there was no reason for me to be so blunt. You were right and I am so sorry."

“Oh, Katie. It is fine. I was never angry at you because of it. I won't tease you either.”

“Thanks mum. I just wish I hadn’t done it.”

“Well, forget that. So, are you gonna tell me about Bård now?"

I nodded. "If you want me to."

"I always want to know what is going on with you."

"Okay," I whispered, not knowing exactly how to proceed. I didn't know what to say about Bård and yet there was so much about him I could talk about. "Well, actually he is the best professor I have in Norway. He is funny and knows how to joke on his account too, which is a bonus. Not conceited as others and even offered to help out with Norwegian lessons, being hard as it was."

Mum looked at me right away. "He did?"

"Yeah, came as a shock to me too," I mumbled.

“You didn’t mention that over the phone,” she mused. “So, what’s he like?”

I was about to answer her question, when Fred flew into the room, interrupting us. He was for a certain, peculiar reason completely thrilled and ran towards me, pulling me into a hug without so much as a word. My mother’s smile at the sight only caused me to smile as well, as I reciprocated my brother’s strength in returning the hug.

Once he raised his head, which he had so comfortably set on my shoulder, he took my hand and pulled me up from my chair.

“I need you in my room,” he declared, and I managed to pick up my coffee and send my mum one short apologetic smile, before I was being unceremoniously dragged up on the second floor.

To predict what my brother had in mind wasn’t difficult at all. It was an interrogation so detailed, that made me wonder whether my brother would make a good detective. After covering every angle he needed explained, and making me retrace my steps since the plane landed in Norway, he was finally satisfied and I was once again allowed to resume my planned activities.

***

That very evening, once Fred had excused himself as tired and in need of proper rest, mum and I remained alone in the room for the first time during the day. As if the subject was not ever closed, my mother resumed the conversation the moment my brother stepped out of the room. I was rather hoping it would had been forgotten by then, but I was fully aware that the talk with mum wasn’t slipping by at all.

“So, Bård?”

I silently smiled, as I gently asked, “What about him?”

Mum was quick to reply. “Well, I have been waiting all day to hear about Bård, and I am not letting you go to sleep until I do.” She glanced at me with a smile, and I knew something I wasn’t ready to hear was coming in the conversation. “So, is he cute?”

“Mum,” I exclaimed, playfully. “I am not answering that.”

“Oh, you don’t need you. Your cheeks are speaking for you.”

I gasped, my palms flying to cover my cheeks, which had my mum chuckling. I wished so much to be able to contradict her on that, but indeed I could feel the fire burning under my skin.

“Mum, that is so not fair.”

She wasn’t baffled, and she didn’t relent. “So, is he handsome?”

I was beginning to get embarrassed, but my mother was not giving up. “Seriously mum?”

Her persistent gaze was urging me to continue, but luckily I had a way out. I grabbed my phone from the table and before mum could protest at what surely appeared a way of escaping, I already had a random picture of him open and said, “Actually, you can see for yourself.”

The phone soon was in front of my mother’s face and she took it from my hand looking at the screen only to end up saying, “You have a picture of him on your phone?”

“No, it is from the Internet. See?”

“Oh, yeah, right. Missed that,” she noted, sarcastically.

I playfully rolled my eyes, and she shrugged, merely explaining, “I am tired and it is late.”

There was more in her voice though, she was hinting, and I sure as hell didn’t like it. After a few brief moments of silence, she whispered, “Watch it, Katie. He is just your type.”

“Mum!” I exclaimed once again, scolding. “Stop it. He is my professor and a friend. And there is all there is to it.” This time however I wasn’t rudely cutting my mother off, I was saying it through a smile. She was teasing, but her voice also had a ring of seriousness.

“Now, once you stop imprinting on my professor’s picture and you let go of my phone, I will go to bed,” I mumbled and my wish was right away fulfilled, my mother having placed the phone in my palm before I could add anything else. I kissed her good night, and as I was leaving the living room, she said, “Think about it. You know I am always right.”

Ignoring how her words made me feel, I retired to my room. Once behind the closed door, I couldn’t but think of what my mother pointed out. “He really is my type,” I sighed, whispering the realization to the empty room, for my ears and the light of the moon only.

Because, he really was.


	14. Bård: I Felt Her Pain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Most sincerest apologies for the enormous gap between this and the last chapter. I hope you are still interested in this story.  
> Anyhow, all mistakes are my own, including the enormous problem this chapter has, aka lacking subtleness! I must apologize if the Norwegian sentences are butchering the language, but it's Mr.Google's fault (as well as mine)! Point out if something should be corrected in case it bothers you and I will be happy to change it up.  
> Either way, I hope you enjoy! And, as always comments are appreciated!

Her eyebrows were slightly furrowed, her eyes closed and her lips parted. She was trying to mumble the reply to the given question, taking her time to phrase it out correctly. I was not pressing her to hurry – as it gave me time to sort my own thoughts, and besides, we had all the time in the world. And, even though I wanted her to answer my question correctly, I wasn’t entirely focused on what she was whispering under her breath. I was substantially more focused on examining her face, as she was changing expressions, during her struggle to form a proper sentence.

_‘Why does she have to be so beautiful?’_ my mind traitorously provided, not parting my gaze from her. I couldn’t look away, even if I wanted to. I was under her spell, metaphorically at least. And the urge appeared again. That force which was clouding my judgment, and thus, making me lean in and press my lips against hers. Nothing felt as infatuating as her gaze, as rapturous as her smile, as honest as her innocent, gentle face.

_‘Stop thinking nonsense, you freak’_ I wanted to spit out, as I clenched my right hand into a fist, so tightly that my knuckles turned white instantaneously. I hid my hand behind the back of my chair as much as I could, until it disappeared even from my sight, all in order for her to remain oblivious to my crisis. I wanted her to be unaware just as I wanted this tempting feelings to remain under control whenever I was next to her, but nonetheless despite all my resolved thoughts as to not give in to that feeling, I was not overpowering the wish to touch her cheek.

“Nei, nei,” A voice of reason reverberated through my head, suspiciously sounding like my patronizing old brother. My free hand pressed onto my shin – anger and desire proving to be a powerful ammunition – as I was trying to figure out a way to force my boiling blood to settle down.

It was pure luck her words reached me when they did. Otherwise, I would have kissed her without thinking twice of the consequences. And, it would have ended up in me being disappointed at the recklessness of my actions. As I cursed myself – making a mental note to be more focused around her, as to not make something foolish – I followed her hand writing down the words she had pronounced moments ago, “De skal spille fotball.”

“Yes, right. That is correct,” I mumbled, having a hard time to regain my conscious composure, my gaze not flickering from her face even when she looked up from the notebook directly at me. Those few words I hoarsely mumbled, which even lacked appraisal, still managed to make her smile. And, in all honesty, that blinding smile was the last thing I wished for at that moment. It was equally as shy as it was perfect, making it even harder for me to look away.

“Not that hard, is it?” I wondered.

She shook her head. “Not as much as I thought it would be.”

“Okay, what about,” I paused considering what to ask next, “‘It will rain tomorrow.’ Try that one.”

Before she could even confirm anything, or in the case voice out her protest, since we had barely begun working on that formulation, her phone rang. She smiled at me, apologetic, before she fixed her gaze at her phone, a smile not lacking to appear when she read the caller’s ID.

Despite the action not being my best one, I was sadly also doing my damnedest to catch the name being the curious bird on a wall, I always happened to be at the worst of circumstances, but it was too far away for me to be able to read it. She quickly grabbed her phone, the honesty in her apology clear to me, “Sorry, but I have to take this.”

She looked at me – her phone halfway and her thumb hovering over the answer button – as if she needed some sort of approval, so I nodded my confirmation. Anyhow, there was no reason for me to deny her silent request, and besides the interruption was already made. It was not like I minded it, since I could use the time to gather my thoughts properly, and start behaving as an actual professor.

Being in the more secluded part of the library also allowed her to take the call inside – as there wasn’t anyone close enough to protest. Clearly aware of the same observation, she swiftly got up from the seat, moving a few steps aside before answering. An honest, gentle smile, making it one of the rare occasions in which one could perceive such a smile, decorated her lips as she greeted the recipient with one tiny, “Hey.”

However, the person on the other side of the call didn't seem to like it, or appreciate it half as much as I did, since only moments later she was replying a set of questions, “Actually I am not at the house. I am at the university, studying at the library.”

Another short interval of silence followed, before she once again stated, “No, I will not be flying home this weekend. Sorry.” Her voice was a barely audible whisper, regret clearly present in it – yet, again, I was the only one I who perceived its presence. The smile she had moments ago was gone, her eyes focused on some distant spot out the window, and her hand was once again making its way to her neck. From all I knew about her, which at the time wasn’t all that much, she was growing anxious. Yet, under normal circumstances, the smile was always there.

This time around, it was after those last words of hers, when the shouting which came from the other side of the call was something even I managed to catch. It was only one simple ‘What?’ exclaimed a bit forcefully, but it was sufficient to make the smile on Kate's face disappear in its entirety, and in but an instant. As hard as I was trying to detect the tone of voice of her correspondent, as to manage to conclude something out of it, I was more occupied with her constantly changing expression.

Her eyebrows furrowed slightly, and she bit her lip in that same unconscious way which can only be classified as Kate, before replying, “Fred, listen to me. I said I would come over if I can. I won't be able to make it.”

The guy on the phone, whose voice seemed to be squeakier than what was considered normal, didn’t seem to calm down. In fact, his voice was filled with even more fury than previously.

“But you promised me, remember?!” his voice echoed from the phone, making her cringe. “We would be together every second of every free day was your promise. Or did you forget that promise so easily?”

She sighed at the words, flickering her gaze on the floor, her free hand leveling with her face and she pinched the bridge of her nose a few times before lowering her hand back down.

When it came to me, thousand questions raced through my mind. Who was this Fred and why was she letting him speak to her like that? She didn’t deserve to be addressed with such a tone, being the angel she was – no one should be allowed to speak to her in such a manner.

I could hear her gasp for breath – trying to obscure it quite effortlessly, I could see her eyes watering – though she batted her eyelashes to get rid of them, but I couldn’t manage to do or say anything at all.

It was clear those words injured her more than she let on, and I only wished whoever it was who inflicted them knew it as well. What would he do if he saw her like that? And who was he? Was it her boyfriend? I knew I wished it wasn’t and besides she had said she didn't have one. Maybe not with those exact words, but it was certainly insinuated. Or was it?

‘She had none, or did she?’ I mumbled under my breath, as I was trying to figure out why she would be lying to me about it – or, whether it was just her trying to keep her private life what it was supposed to be, _private_. It was certainly not my place to I asked her, but it was the fact her reply was not supposed to waver what got to me. Telling me shouldn’t have made a difference, she should have said she had one. It pained me I was _not_ considered close enough of a friend to be told the truth.

Her trembling voice brought me out of my thoughts for an instant, but only for an instant. For a moment I felt horrible for even surrendering to believing such thoughts, regretting to have allowed my jealousy to cloud my knowledge of her impeccable intent not to injure.

Then, "Fred, honey," she mumbled and I felt a pang of sting in my chest, as she took a deep breath before continuing, "I am sorry, but I can't be there this weekend."

I swallowed around a lump in my throat. She just called him _honey_. I was wrong to think that she didn't have a boyfriend, when obviously she did have one. Why did I even care, when it was her life? I was aware that when I heard her call him honey, as I realized I had stood in the shadows of ignorance, a green snake of jealousy slowly snuck up on me and bit into my heart. ‘Why didn't she tell me?’ I thought. ‘Why would she hide this from me?’

“You said you would manage.” The voice was still persistent, pressing forward. “You said so. I hate you.”

She took a breath, as she attempted, “Fred come on. Don’t do this to me. Please, Fred.” Her voice was but a tremble, her gaze was lost somewhere; and that was when I noticed the shivering of her chin. She was more than shaken, she was beyond just upset.

“I haven’t seen you in two months, so I do wanna see you. If you can get it. I hate you right now. Don’t call me back.”

And then, the line went flat. Kate swallowed audibly, as she put the phone down. She turned her back toward me rather quickly, but not before I could see a glistening tear rolling down her cheek.

I swiftly got up from my seat, moving towards her. When I was at an arms distance from her, I stopped and then, I placed my hand on her shoulder, ignoring the jolt the skin on skin contact sent through my spine, as I inquired, “Hey, are you okay?” It was a stupid question, since I knew the answer already and was fully aware she was nowhere near okay, but how else could I go about it really? I couldn’t just hug her, despite my wish to do exactly that. I didn’t know if the hug would be welcomed, if it’d be comforting – and, causing additional problems would be the last thing he needed.

As if she could read my mind, the very next moment, she turned around and without facing me she embraced me tightly – her hands settling around my waist, her head resting on my shoulder. It took me a moment or so to recover from the surprise, and hug her back, wrapping my hands around her. I heard a muffled sob, and then the grasp on my shirt increased – her labored breathing a fleeting anxiety under my palms.

I remained silent – it was better than giving false reassurances, and allowed the silence to speak for itself, wishing to know above all how to comfort her. There wasn’t anything I could do without knowing what was in that conversation that really got to her so. I could feel the radiating warmth of her body glued to mine, and despite the guilt I felt, I couldn’t help but wish to have that embrace on daily basis.

The trembling of her frame was nothing in comparison to her struggles to establish her calm state. I could feel her each move, as we stood there in the embrace, and I wanted to be able to make it all go away and to make her smile as she was smiling only moments prior to the call.

We stood there in silence until her breathing returned to normal and I couldn’t bring myself to care about being caught embracing a student. I let go, once I realized she was trying to pull away. As much as I wished to prolong the moment further, and enjoy the warmth of the hug which was sending shivers down my spine, I unclasped my interlocked fingers, and she was out of the hug right away.

“I am sorry,” she whispered, her eyes avoiding my gaze.

“Hey, look at me,” I began as cheerfully as I could manage, placing my hand under her chin and slowly tilting her head, so she would look at me. “Nothing to be sorry about. Okay?”

“Yeah, thanks for that,” she trailed off, stepping back.

My hand fell by my side, yet all I could think was about the sweetness of her voice. It had me wondering how anyone would be able to attack her in such a way, making her cry and not feel remorse.

“We should sit down.” I gestured towards the table, and moments later we were back in our seats, only nothing was at it had been at the beginning of the study session.

She closed her eyes, her tear-coated eyelashes resting over her cheekbones. Kate took a deep breath to compose herself. Nothing was as nerve-wracking as sitting there beside her without the ability to make her feel better in any way. It would have been nice to make her laugh, but the last thing I thought appropriate was a joke at such a moment.

As silence filled the space between us while she was gulping breaths, I couldn’t avoid the boiling thoughts, which sounded awfully close to my brother screaming at me, “Do something, you moron!”

However, before I could even mumble anything whatsoever, Kate just asked if it would be okay to simply continue the lesson. A little worriedly, and maybe slightly indecisively, I enquired, “Are you sure? We can make a break for as long as you need it.”

“I am sure,” she replied surprisingly steady, nothing about her voice an indication of her distress. I could see the shaking of her fingers, though, as she reached out and picked up her pen again. “So, where were we?”

A little hesitantly, I repeated the request. “It will rain tomorrow.”

I could see she was far from being focused on my words, but I was not planning on patronizing her and thus make a bad thing even worse. She didn’t need the pity, she wanted no compassion; leaving me just to wonder as to what that conversation held in between the spoken words as to so silently, yet greedily break her frame.

“De kommer,” she began, just to cut her sentence off right away, biting on her lower lip. Her hand wound up on her neck, as she calculatedly tried once again, “Der will –”

She began shaking even more, as I detected a whispered, “That’s not it.”

Her lost gaze, and the evidence of the tears dried on her cheeks, had me convinced an additional class at another moment would be a much better decision than working to no avail.

“Det kommer til å regne i morgen,” she finally mumbled the correct reply, yet with a dosage of uncertainty, and facing me – on her own – for the first time since the hug, she asked, “Did I get it right?”

“Yeah, but –” I wasn’t sure how to proceed. Insulting her or making her feel worse was something I wouldn’t be able to bear, but my consciousness demanded the words which roamed through my mind uttered, “Shouldn’t we just work some other day?”

A shaky breath escaped her lips, as she briefly nodded her confirmation, and began packing up her things from the table. “I am sorry for this.”

“No need to apologize, I just hope that whatever the problem is – it gets solved quickly.”

“Yeah, me too.” She looked back at me, sadness overflowing her features. It was unlike her, or any normal human being to behave in such was after so slight a fight.

“Whatever it is, it is way more than boyfriend troubles.’ my mind provided.

I accompanied her out of the library, waving goodbye as we headed in different locations, and then allowed myself to be overwhelmed by the occurrences of the day.


	15. Catherine: Weekend of Joy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seems like all I ever greet you with of late is an apology for the delay between posting, so let us not break that tradition this time. Sorry, everyone!  
> Zita, I hope you had a lovely holiday, and thanks for your patience. Here's hoping this chapter is enough to make sure you forgive me for making you wait for an update :)   
> Enjoy!

Nothing worked to my advantage, my brother refused to speak to me as much as a word, the professors kept increasing with the workload on their subjects – extra projects, essays, and at the same time didn’t fail to also increase the study material. So, just when I was supposed to be in my best element, and remain focused on studying I couldn’t even be bothered to touch a book. The fact my brother ignored my constant phone calls, and forced my mother to tell me he was out whenever I called was taking away all of my abilities to focus.

So, consequently, without giving much notice to the other variables in my life, I got up on the first flight to Britain right after my Friday lessons, and in a couple of hours found myself standing on the cool London breeze, in front of Heathrow fishing for a cab. I took my phone out, turning it on only to be greeted by a missed phone call, which both surprised me and peaked my curiosity. Why would _he_ call me on a Friday, when he usually texted if he had to cancel on a lesson?

I would have texted to ask what the reason for his call was, but it seemed rude and since he bothered to actually call in the first place, I figured it wouldn’t cost me anything but money to return with the same cordiality. So, I called him back.

It barely rang once, and he already picked up the phone, “Hei.” It was new and strange how he managed to cheer me up with a single syllable, how the tone of his voice momentarily brightened my mood and convinced me I, at least, had one friend to talk to if ever needed.

“Hello,” I greeted back. ‘ _Each in their mother tongue,_ ’ I thought. ‘ _How adorable?’_ Needless to mention, my feelings at the moment were making the thought more of a sarcastic remark, rather than an actual sign of affectionate friendship.

“Hey, are you okay?” His voice was so full of care, almost trembling with worry – or so it appeared to me. I could feel a smile curving my lips involuntarily, and almost instantaneously I felt my heart beating just a little bit faster. Knowing I mattered was nice, even though maybe it was just a little.

“Yeah, I am fine,” I responded, snapping out of my reverie with hopes it passed undetected. “Sorry, but my phone was off. How are you?”

I could hear a puff of breath, followed by what I could only presume was a warm smile, one of those rare smiles when his entire face would light up, and his blue eyes would sparkle, but would at the same time remain serious. “No need to apologize. I am fine too,” he whispered.

As I held my phone against my ear with a pressure twice the needed, I began pacing along the side of the road. It wasn’t a pace of impatience, nor was it one of annoyance. It was more of a mode to calm my nerves. Why I was so overwhelmed to talk to a friend was something I had no answer to.

“Is there anything urgent?” I asked, clearly in a lack of a better question.

“Well, it depends whether you would categorize it as urgent, but I just wanted to check on you. And, uhm,” he hesitantly paused for what seemed to be a few minutes to me, though in all logic it couldn’t have been more than a few seconds. “I wanted to ask you out for a cup of coffee, or maybe even,” and then in the most ridiculous attempt at a British English, “for a cup of tea, just to cheer you up.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. It was both nonsensical, and sweet, and so much like Bård that it made it impossible to keep a straight face. I could forgive his horrible accent because of his impeccable sense of humor, and that spoke a great deal.

Curving a strand of hair behind my ear, I replied, “It’s not that I wouldn’t like to, but I really can’t. I am back in London.”

“Oh,” his excitement immediately fell. “Well, then I guess I should say have a nice weekend, and leave you to it.” And, those words made me feel defeated and weak, and alone again. “See you around, Kate.”

“Ye–” The call disconnected all too hastily, leaving me slightly disappointed, and subconsciously I let my phone lay flat on my palm, staring at it for more than a minute, before being able to pull out of the mysteriously induced trance.

“Right, I should get home,” I mumbled to myself, before making my way towards the closest available cab.

***

Before soon, I found myself standing before the door of my home, quite certain it would be yet another surprise for my mum to see me back home for another weekend, and entirely uncertain of the outcome from welcoming I would receive from my brother. Sighing one last time freely, I rang the doorbell, expecting my mother’s astonished face to greet me.

Only, to my utter surprise, it was my brother who opened the door, and as consequence to my inability to gather my own thoughts, we both remained dumbfounded and ended up uselessly entering a staring battle in silence – before mum came out of the living room, a question on her lips, “Fred, who is at the door?”

We both jumped slightly up, my eyes flickering over to where my mother was supposed to appear, before they settled back on my brother’s face.

My mother’s question, however, didn’t come that much of a surprise to me. “What are you doing back home?”

I was going to reply with one excuse or another, I truly was, and it would have been a covered up version –  since I couldn’t very well say I had decided to get back home for the weekend, after having Fred so desperately begging me to do it, and after he had decided to ignore all the calls I had tried to connect and that consequently, instead of spending the weekend in banging my head against the books, trying to cover the material with which I had fallen behind, I bought a plane ticket and once again surprised them upon appearing on the doorstep unannounced – but I couldn’t make my lips form anything, aside from the sigh, which escaped my lips upon noticing how restrained Fred appeared to be.

“Hello, Fred,” I greeted my brother, but received no response. Instead, he dismissed my words, and while pouting, he stormed up the stairs, and by slamming the door of his room quite forcefully announced he had withdrawn in his hiding place.

My mother stood dumbfounded at his actions, staring up the stairs for few brief moments and looking back at me most likely in search for answers as to why he behaved in what was never his way.

I greeted her with a hug and a peck on the cheek – before I hastily explained how things stood, easing on the details slightly, reassuring her we would definitely stop behaving like cats and dogs by the end of the weekend.

At least, she was glad to see me, and maybe only because it was so, she decided not to press any further. We ended up talking for most of the day, but once I realized Fred had no intention on coming back down to talk to us, I bid my mother goodnight, and went up the stairs with the intention to enter Fred’s room to try and smooth out his crazy little nerves.

I imagine, he did have the right to be a little angry, but I guess most of it came from missing me rather than being actually annoyed with my behavior, and I could understand that. We were quite an age difference to be sure, but one thing I was absolutely certain of – my brother and I got along much better than people would assume, given the obvious contrast in personalities Fred so selflessly provided. He was all I was not – spontaneous, funny, carefree and confident – but we knew our tempo, and we grew closer after dad’s death, since we had only each other to rely on, so knowing I was the reason for the drastic change relating cheerfulness, made me feel a little guilty. And, very sad.

I knocked on the door of my brother’s room, moments after I dropped off my backpack in my own, letting it rest on the bed unpacked. No reply seemed to come my way, my brother denied to acknowledge my presence entirely and was clearly determined about it – go figures he would be as stubborn as dad used to by dismissively ignoring each and every attempt at a conversation throughout the evening.

“Fred, come on, open the door. I am here now, and I thought you wanted me to be here so that we could talk,” I insisted for at least the tenth time, but nothing but silence was greeting me back.

Few moment passed and I was about to knock on the door once again, however I decided at the last moment it would be better to let him sleep on it, and maybe give it a try in the morning. Besides, I was certain mum was listening from downstairs, and I didn’t want to make an unnecessary scene happen.

Therefore, I went back to my room, grabbing my backpack in consideration whether I needed anything to take something out. Opening it, I scanned through the contents, before grabbing, as initially intended, Bård’s book. I settled back on the bed, supporting my weight against the headboard – a pillow in between to ease the pressure of the wood, and opened the book where I had left a mark. I was already halfway through it, and despite Bård’s insistence I would regret buying it, I actually found the book quite educational, and surprisingly funny. Who would have thought that architecture could sound so amusing when written in black and white, with all its art and science? The art people usually liked, the science they most likely ignored, but I was fairly certain even someone who despised the whole idea of architecture would have enjoyed reading the book.

A light knock on my door startled me, and I simply assumed it was my mother, so I replied, “Come in.”

Upon looking up, I was greeted by my brother’s messy hair peaking in, an apology plastered on his face. I dropped the book back on the bed not even bothering to mark the page, and got up hastily to meet him midway. I pulled him in an embrace as soon as he was within my reach. I heard a sniffle as Fred tightly hugged back, and I knew both the source and the reason behind it.

“I am sorry, Katie,” he said, the sound muffled against my shoulder.

I whispered the same back.

***

The wind was whirling around me, impertinently playing with the wild strands of my hair, as I stood as quiet as I rarely had before, silently looking at my father’s grave. My fingertips were gently placed over the top of the gravestone, and my other hand was resting over dad’s engraved name. Closing my eyes, I could remember him effortlessly – a beaming smile on his face, the old, familiar warmth radiating from his eyes, and a smile always in place. In contrast to that picture, everything else seemed cold, pointless, and I felt a lump tying knots in my chest, suffocating me.

I let out a nearly silent sigh – as I recalled the picture of my brother welcoming me in a way which spoke more than I’d deemed possible, both reluctant happiness and partial anger radiating from his eyes, and then smiling at the memory of waking up in the morning with his arms wrapped around me and the most earnest smile of happiness on his face – before taking a seat on the bench, and fixing my gaze on the ground covering my father’s body, as I spoke, “Hey, dad. I’m sorry I haven’t been here in a while, between Norway and home I really couldn’t find the time to come here. I wouldn’t have done it today either, I believe, if it wasn’t for the need to get some fresh air.”

As much as I felt happy to let Fred continue his rest in my room upon sneaking out in order to avoid waking him, I couldn’t stop but ponder over his crying fit from the previous night. The fact he couldn’t stop his tears was the one which resulted in falling asleep together.

“Goodness, dad, he is crying now,” I continued, the defeating sadness readable all over my expression, the ring of desperation in my voice. “He is more lost than ever, and it shouldn’t be happening to a twelve year old boy. He should be a cheerful youngster, who would wish to return from school only to go out and have fun with his friends, but he is not doing that. And, I don’t know what to do to help, since he doesn’t open up to me either.”

The previous night was definitely a step up, but having my brother hide how he’d felt for over two months from me was something new for both of us – another trial to overcome. We’d always shared everything, and the knowledge he couldn’t tell me – or worse didn’t want to – had me entirely broken.

“I feel that the choice to go to Norway might be as much of a mistake as it was an advantage, since it is driving a wedge between us, and I keep fearing, what if it never goes back to what is used to be?”

I curled my fingers in halves through my hair, futilely attempting to fix it in one place, fastening it enough as to be able to fight off the strength of the wind.

“I want to be there for him dad, I promised that to you and I would never abandon those words, but I just can’t find a way to do it when he is shutting me down. It’s why I miss having you around – you could make a mute talk.”

I remained sitting in silence, allowing my mind to wander as my gaze took off over the branches and down the paths. I allowed my body to relax with each new breath of fresh air. Not much of a surprise when the first thing which my mind provided was the thought of Bård, and nearly every conversation I’ve ever had with him – from the night we’d met to the phone call about a proposal for a cup of coffee.

So, since I was already fully aware of the fact we were both in need of, I decided Bård’s idea would work well for me and my brother. I was sure a cup of coffee wasn’t my brother’s cup of tea, but I also knew ice cream could remedy any problem whatsoever, and bring at least a few smiles on his face. After all, I owed him as much, and a sister would never back out of something knowing it would be a win-win situation.

And, than my thoughts roamed back to Bård again. And, the phone call from the previous day. It was surprising to hear just how honest he’d sounded, just how much he actually seemed to care, and it made me realize I had made a friend without even putting any effort in it.

Bård happened to find my company pleasant, and he’d mentioned on one occasion that he never felt himself easier than when with me. I’d smiled at those words then, as I was smiling at the moment, since it was a mutual feeling what he had described. It had been years since I’ve felt free to share all my thoughts – and he was the first one to make me feel like I belong somewhere again, he reminded me how it helped to share truths with the world, to show the pain, and the appreciation.

“I met someone, dad,” the whisper of those words was out before I’d even had the chance to detect it. “He is a very nice guy, and he makes me smile. It’s like everything he says has a charm of its own, and one can’t help but feel the same. He is childish on occasion, and it would be a bad thing, if he weren’t so adorable about it. And, he is really smart. Probably one of the smartest people I have come to work with, but I don’t think he is aware of it. It is like he deliberately downsizes his quality, which for a star is strange.”

I paused, those were words just coming out of every little thing I’d learned about the man, but each word felt as though I was just becoming aware of it. As though each opinion was fresh as the morning air, and as though with nobody to listen but the birds and the sky, I’d come to realize how I looked at Bård. So, it was helpful, and I allowed myself to continue.

“And, then there is his celebrity side. The one where he is all goofy and crazy, from the little I have seen. There again, he sets his talents aside, partially and as much as he can. I’ve seen videos of him behaving all cocky and confident, but I assume it is more of a defense mechanism to hide his true self. Not that he manages that, all together, since underneath all that male bravado, it is still just him, and sometimes it can be seen in the way he smiles, or in the crinkles around his eyes, and I like him very much,” my voice dropped an octave lower in realization. _“I like him very much.”_

The buzzing of my phone made the interruption. I fished the device from my pocket, the text message flashing on the screen, and Bård’s name proudly stating the person responsible for it. It simply read, _“Good morning, Kate. I hope that rubbish book of mine you insisted upon buying isn't poisonous enough to ruin your weekend. See you on Monday”_

“Did I mention he was also recklessly insane and incredibly self-deprecating?” I mumbled under my breath, a certain dose of humor in it as well.

I opened a blank text to reply, and hurriedly typed, _“Good morning to you too. If it didn’t poison you while writing it, which depending on the side-effects of the poison might even be debatable in your case, I can surely live through the read. See you soon.”_ And, send.

Nothing better than to greet your professor with a hint of English sarcasm early in the morning. Even though logic would scream at me to actually feel bad about the said text, knowing that Bård would most likely take it as a joke, or even worse as a compliment, I somehow found myself grinning on my way back home.

I did however, made my way home in a rush, sprinting through the door and basically slamming it behind my back, at my mother's upmost surprise. She barely even got to look at me, before I was jumping stairs on the way to my room. Fred was still sleeping on the bed, where I had left him, so I simply threw a pillow at him, exclaiming, “Get up, and get dressed. We're going out.”

It seemed to be a way to enthusiastic greeting first thing in the morning for my little brother, since a displeased grunt was directed at me as a response, not much of a surprise given my initial outburst, but I didn't care. It was my firm decision to have the best of times throughout the day. And I had a certain Bård Ylvisåker to thank for that.

I grabbed a sweater from my wardrobe, and made my way to the bed, taking a seat on the edge and ruffling Fred's hair, again much to his displeasure. Another groan, more sardonic than the first, followed before my brother looked at me – his eyes squinted either with annoyance or because of the morning light, in my personal opinion probably both. On the positive side, at least, I got the attention I required.

***

The day out with Fred was both a refreshment for me and for my brother, and in the end I ended up returning home alongside my brother with the taste of strawberry ice cream on my lips, a vanilla flavor in my hair, and warmth in my heart. That is until, my mother opened the door for us, and spotted the remaining evidence of the foolish ice cream fight we had on our way back home, scolding us and sending us to our respective rooms like five year olds to clean up.

To Fred’s luck, and the obviousness of my inability to retaliate his attack, his hair and his clothes had remained mostly intact, maybe a small smear here or there. Mine however, where a whole other scenario, especially my hair, so I ended up under a hot steam of water to seal one of the best days I had recently shared with my brother.

The rest of the weekend tumbled up in the same manner, getting together for a hint of a day out with my recently engaged cousin, and planning things with mum all too early as well. And, as much joy as the weekend had brought me, I couldn’t help the weird tingle of excitement in me as I sat on the plane, heading back to Norway, and both dreading and looking forward to seeing Bård again.


	16. Bård: Headlong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vegard surprises Bård at the university, for the long overdue conversation regarding the mystery lady, and consequently meets Catherine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My faithful readers, sincerest apologies for the delay!  
> Now my usual greeting aside, I hope everyone is okay and well, and is also interested in continuing to read this. I did manage to get this checked before the week is out!  
> Enjoy the read everyone and let me know what you think.

Monday morning came and I was in such a fuss! To begin with, I'd forgotten to set up my alarm so I slept in. Irony was, I had never turned it off before. Only God knows why I did it on Friday. I recall the excuse was somewhere along the lines of being able to sleep in during the weekend for a change, unintentionally making the decision the worst mistake I had made in a period of few seconds. It was nonsensical turning it off, useless too – as if I had never bypassed an alarm.

Then there was also the fact, in addition to the hastily-building disaster, I had spent the weekend being absolutely lazy, which resulted in having no outfit prepared for my classes, at least not something decent. And, most important of all, I was completely freaking out about seeing Catherine again.

I didn’t know if the reason behind my so obvious anxiousness was the fear I’d overstepped some boundary in a way by asking her out, or whether it was just the same buzz, the equal reaction as always. Whichever it was, I knew I wasn’t going to like where its presence was leading. Shockingly enough, the awareness relating the issue made me even more anxious. I was in too deep, waters I should have avoided in the first place.

About one thing I was absolutely certain. The pace I had set upon waking, managed to produce an ironed suit, allowed me to get my freaky hair in order, and above all had me at the university but five minutes too late. Which of course was great, since that small a period of time I could account for as a traffic problem, or any other mundane excuse. Not that anyone would beat themselves to find out about the reason behind the delay in the first place.

One thing however, I couldn't control or reign myself in any way. The first thing I did as I walked into the auditorium was trying to locate Kate. I spotted her in her usual seat, her books splayed on the desk and her eyes fixed on me. I addressed her one swift, seemingly undetectable to anyone else smile, which I couldn't entirely be sure she herself even noticed, since her expression remained the same. Then I greeted the class.

I briefly scanned through my notes, as the group was quieting down, and began my lecture. As much as I wanted to make myself believe I was only focusing on the words that came out of my mouth, I knew I was lying myself and caught myself in that lie on numerous occasions when my gaze would land on Catherine, traitorously conveying each sentiment which bewildered me the very morning.

Somehow, strangely, it was only then I realized, or mentally noted her words about writing down in my lectures as well while looking at the board. Remembering the conversation was challenging enough for me to be able to avoid a grin, so upon realizing that was what was happening at the very moment, I couldn’t help the traitorous twitch my lips gave at an attempt to smile.

Despite proceeding which my lecture right away, the thought remained a reminder at the back of my head during the whole span of the lesson.

Once class was over, I waited for everyone to clear out the auditorium, believing that just as any other day, it would be Kate who would remain last. I really needed to talk to her, ask how she was, and I couldn’t explain even to myself as to why I was so eager to do it sooner rather than later. However, my luck as always, seemed to disappear whenever needed the most, so before I could notice Catherine was already out of the room, and when I tried locating her outside the room, in the hallway, she was nowhere to be seen.

I cursed under my breath, my constant bad luck annoying more than it should have been.

I made my way to the office, as hurriedly as I could manage. I had yet another class, and then I would have to spend a few arduous hours in the office doing bloody paperwork, checking assignments, and making sure to build the list of points I was going to eventually need for my grading system. It was those few little things nobody who wanted to become a professor even knew. Everyone just figured the job included doing a class or two, and ditching all to the TA, make them _work it_ , which was the case if one had been on the job for more than forty years and were about to retire.

Speaking about bad luck, I really couldn’t catch a break. As I turned the corner to my office, Vegard was leaning against the doorframe of my office, his phone in hand and his fingers fidgeting over the screen, not noticing me, even though I knew exactly the purpose of his visit. He just wouldn’t let it rest.

Most of the days, I would love to hang out with my brother, but not on a day which started horribly, and kept moving in a direction which was for me entirely unplanned. Logically, at the very moment I couldn’t handle being interrogated, especially not about Kate and most definitely not after spending a whole weekend thinking about her.

It was a recipe for disaster.

“Vegard,” I called out, as I was making my way towards him. I didn’t want to startle him since him being annoyed with me would make his insistence a tenfold worse than his usual interrogative demeanor. In normal circumstances, I would most definitely have done some kind of prank. Nevertheless, I wasn’t up for a crossed brother at the moment.

“Hello, brother dear,” he replied, lifting his gaze to lock it in with mine.

“Sarcasm, really Vegard? You too?” I teased, though the words carried an unnamed weight, thus making my brother frown in confusion. _‘Shit, a bit too much information.’_

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“Nothing,” I whispered, shaking my head in a way of dismissal to my own words.

Turning around, I unlocked the door of my office and stepped inside, allowing my brother to do just the same. Once I heard the door click shut, I inquired, “What can I do for you today Vegard?”

I walked behind my desk, taking a seat and motioning for my brother to take one opposite me.

He slipped in the chair, and mumbled, “You know why I am here. We agreed on a conversation, and it is long overdue.”

“Oh, Vegard, can we please not do _this_ today?” I mumbled, dropping my notes in the top folder on the desk, and picking up the stack of papers lying on my right, lining them up for grading. Good thing was, half of them were finished. Bad thing was, there was yet another week for my students to hand in their papers, which meant there were more to pile up in the crowd.

“No, we have to.” My brother’s response was immediate. “I wouldn’t be a pain in the ass of an older brother, if I didn’t force you to talk about it now,” He finished, as he winked at me, to which I only replied with an eye roll, and a shrug. Vegard however wasn’t perplexed by it, he kept to his apparently firm intention. “Who is she, Bård?”

And, then right on cue, thanks to the impeccable timing of a person I will forever be grateful to, a knock on the door interrupted us. I smirked, running a hand through my hair.

“Saved by the bell,” Vegard annoyingly muttered under his breath, as I called out, “Come in,” a bit too enthusiastically, and way to happily to escape my brother’s notice. He was staring at me, and to my upmost disappointment, there was a smirk on his face giving me a silent promise of ‘This isn’t over yet.’

I addressed him one swift, marginally teasing smile, accompanied with a quirked eyebrow – an expression I knew would later cost me all tranquility, but I couldn’t help the opportunity and keep it in me.

Then, I looked towards the door victoriously, only to be greeted with a very serious, and a quite confused Catherine. And, on yet another queue, my heart skipped a beat, before peeking up in pace a tenfold. _Maybe not so grateful, after all._

Her expression quickly morphed into a small smile. “I am sorry for interrupting professor,” she began, her hands raising to form a series of gestures, as she continued her explanation, “I had a few questions about the paper, but I can see you’re busy. Should I come back later?”

“No, no, come on in,” I insisted all too hastily, for it to escape my brother’s notice. From the corner of my eye, I could clearly perceive Vegard observing our interaction intently, and with a tone of amusement. Oh _shit_ , I was buggered.

Thinking I might as well proceed, I stated, “Knowing his persistence and my desire to annoy him, this guy will be here all day, so I might as well help you with the paper.”

I grinned at Vegard, who in all surprise remained silent.

Catherine frowned in confusion, but inquired no more. She stepped inside my office, turning her back at us both for the sole purpose of closing the door, and allowing my brother a moment to look at me, his eyebrows shot up under his curls, and a “Er det henne?” to be muttered under his breath. I squinted at him, my eyes darting to Catherine briefly in a span of a second, to see if she had taken a notice of his words. She might have been just a beginner in the realms of Norwegian, but I was entirely sure even she could make it out, whispered or not.

To my relief, short-lived as it might have been, she appeared oblivious, or at least with no intention to comment if the words were noticed. She was standing in the middle of the room, looking at me, and knowing her most likely feeling awkward.

“Take a seat,” I told her, and she did so, placing herself on the other chair, next to Vegard. As much as I liked finally having a chance to speak with Kate, the chaperoning of my brother was definitely unwanted. I couldn’t shoo him away though, or rather I could, but then I’d never hear the end of it.

“Am I who?” Kate wondered, cutting my thoughts short, her questioning eyes getting fixed on Vegard for a second, before finding their way back to my gaze. I hung my head, forcing all the control in my being to prevent the groan which was threatening to escape my throat, hating the fact I almost always spoke too soon.

“Oh, just ignore him,” I waved off my hand in Vegard’s general direction, wiggling my fingers midair, as I teased, “I do.”

Vegard interrupted me before I could get anything else out.

“Aren’t you going to be a normal person for a few moments and introduce us?” With those words, he mischievously smiled at me, something he was paying for after we were left alone.

“Right, Catherine this is my brother Vegard. Unbelievably, and ironically, he is the older one,” I scoffed, my brother’s reply nothing but silence. “And, Vegard, this is Catherine. Happy now, brother dear?” I mockingly imitated his words from only a few minutes ago.

Ignoring me, he outstretched his hand to Catherine, and she gladly took it, both of them exchanging ‘Nice to meet you.’ along the way.

I turned my attention to Catherine. “Anyway, what can I help you with?”

She ran her hand through a few strands of hair, pushing them behind her ear, and I tried my hardest not to follow the movement. I also failed at it, completely. She seemed unaware of it, so I was safe there. Unfortunately, even though I couldn’t be sure, I was considering the fact that obliviousness wasn’t Vegard’s forte, at least not when it came to me.

I fixed my gaze back on Kate’s face, just as she began, “Well, you said that the cover for the paper should contain a quote from the author relating the book we are working on. And, I looked it up, trying to find something, but as far as I can tell the author never commented on this particular work.”

“Well, it would be nice to hear the thoughts of the author upon the piece, but if you can’t find anything, you can use some of the author’s quotes on other works, or on architecture in general,” I shrugged, “or maybe even a certain design, as long as you point out to what the line in question is referring.”

“I understand that, but I was wondering… Hypothetically,” Kate paused, biting on her lower lip. “If I could get the author to give me an opinion, and I have the permission to make that opinion public, would it be okay to use it, even though there is no source to follow up on that information.”

“I honestly doubt you would be able to get anything, if the person in question never deemed it in his capacity to comment on the piece in the first place.” I offered her a smile. “If you could pull it off, I would be impressed, and it would most definitely not be a problem.”

“I am sure he wouldn’t mind stepping up and giving a few shy words about his thoughts on his work to a friend.”

My eyebrows quirked in surprise, as I was impressed. “Oh, you know the author then?”

“I do, actually,” she whispered, a smile dancing on her lips. “I am looking at him right now.”

Taken aback, it took a few moments for me to register her words, and I shook my head, before stammering out, “So, in fact, you are working on my book?”

Kate nodded vigorously. “Poisoning the community was next on my ‘To do’ list, so I figured it would be the quickest way.”

I chuckled, but before I could provide a response, Vegard cut in the conversation, addressing her, “Are you trying to flatter him, or insult him? I finally think I’ve gotten a grasp of the intention, and the situation changes again.”

She looked at him, and smiled. “It was his words, not mine. The poisoning bit I mean. So, I guess I am not insulting him. I was already reading the book when the assignment was given, so not flattering either. I am teasing, maybe.”

“I like you,” Vegard stated, matter-of-factly. “Finally someone is secretly making fun of my brother, me excluded.”

Catherine chuckled, and I cleared my throat, purposefully trying to gain the attention of the room. “I am right here you know,” I announced.

Vegard seemed to not give a dime, and even though Catherine addressed me a glance, I could see she wasn’t going to stop my brother either.

“He never liked being teased, so as an annoying older brother, I guess I am on your side for trying to get him out of his shell.”

“I’ll give you the quote,” I nearly exclaimed. No way was I allowing Vegard to do his brotherly duty, and share something embarrassing, considering he had plenty to share, if willing. “Just stop becoming besties with my brother.”

She looked affronted by the proposition for a moment, before, “Are you saying that if I stop talking with your brother now, you are going to give me a quote? Isn’t that a form of extortion?”

“Yes to both. And, I am proud of my proposal, since I gave you an option to choose whether you’d accept it or decline it.”

Vegard’s expression was amused, his lips tugging in a smile, and I mirrored it.

“I will take it,” she nodded, clearly joking, before turning to Vegard and shrugging. “Sorry.”

He burst out laughing, throwing his head back, managing just one word. “Smooth.” When he calmed down, over a few deep breaths, in faked disappointment he proclaimed, “I finally get a new friend, and she dumps the friendship in the water for a quote. So humiliating.”

And, it was then, that Catherine did something which took me entirely by surprise. She reached out, leaning over the armrest of the chair, laying her hand on my brother’s forearm and said, “Don’t worry, after I get the quote we will pick up where we left off.”

She tapped a few times on his arm in reassurance, before withdrawing her hand, and somehow I couldn’t help but be jealous. I was glad she connected with my brother that quickly, but the gesture was more than what I’d gotten since I’d met her, even though I ached for it.

Realizing that the office suddenly grew quiet, I looked up from between the chairs to find two pairs of eyes directed at me. I cleared my throat again, saying, “Sorry, uhm, when do you finish?”

Without a second thought, she provide, “My last class ends up at five.”

“Okay, so I will probably be done by six, so if you want to go and grab a cup of coffee, and I will give you the quote you need. Sound good?”

“Yeah, sure. I will leave you guys to chat now.” She got up, my brother and I did the same as well. She turned to Vegard, stretching out her arm, and saying, “It was a pleasure to meet you.”

He shook it. “The pleasure was all mine.”

She turned towards me. “See you later. Bye,” and with that she left the office.

It was barely a few seconds after the door shut behind Catherine's back, that my brother spoke, "So, that is the girl Jane and Matthew met?"

"What?" I enquired, not quite catching what my brother was saying, as I was still looking towards the door.

"That is her," he simply confirmed once again, without my explicit confirmation. There were two things I could do at that point – lie in order to avoid the topic, or tell the truth and ask my older, and infinitely wiser brother, for an advice.

"How did you know?" was the first thing which came to my mind.

Vegard just made his are-you-seriously-asking-me-that face, before saying, "Was it supposed to be a big secret?"

"Yes," I firmly stated, before swallowing a lump and choking out a small, defeated ‘no’.

"Oh, come on Bård. Don't be like that. I know you inside and out. Did you really think that I wasn't gonna notice?"

I remained silent, because deep within I knew he would, but somehow I presume I hoped he'd not. Without waiting for a reply, he went on, "Your eyes lit up like a Christmas tree when she walked in the room. And, you teasing around your students I'd believe, but taking them out for coffee to help with a project?"

I took a breath, aiming for an interruption, but he raised his hand and continued, "And, when she touched my arm. I could swear you'd kill for it to have been you, and I am your _married_ brother. Am I wrong?"

I took another deep, stabilizing breath. Maybe facing the fact I liked Catherine too much for my own good, and talking with Vegard about it would be beneficial.

Thus, "I'd love nothing more than to say you are wrong. But, you are absolutely right. What is wrong, is me liking her. She is my student, and I just," I trailed off, not knowing how to proceed.

“You’re freaking out.”

“That would be an understatement Vegard,” I half-exclaimed. “I like her. Enormously, and I know the university has this policy. I am not going to make a move or anything, I know how to control myself that much, but I can’t help liking her.”

“She seems a nice person.”

“She is different, like a good, refreshing different, not the weird creepy one.” After a few awkwardly silent moments, I continued, “What I am saying is that I would like to take her out on a date.”

My brother smirked. “Well, you do have one at six, if _I_ am any judge.”

“It is friend capacity, as always. I’d like a both-parties awareness.”

“As always?” Vegard asked. “So, not the first time?”

“No, actually. Aside from university, it was an accidental meet up at the shopping center.”

My brother cocked an eyebrow. “Accidental?”

“I might have approached her, even though she had company.”

“A boyfriend? Or a boy, in general?”

I shook my head. “No, a friend. Female. She is staying at Adela’s house, and Adela was showing her around town.”

My brother hummed in agreement, before leaning forward, trying to get my full attention. “Look, Bård. You are besotted with the girl, and _don’t_ even argue about it with me. My point is, you have not been attached to anybody since your last relationship, so take it slow, if you are planning on taking it anywhere at all. And, if not, just step aside before it is too late for you.”

I thought he’d said everything he intended to say, but then he continued, “Also, I don’t like insinuating anything, but you know our status, and if being a celebrity is the draw in for her, then maybe…”

I cut in. “She isn’t like that. Besides, she didn’t even know I was one until Adela told her. And, even after that, she was pretty much the same.” Catherine might have been a lot of things, uninterested amongst them, but being an attention seeker was something I for sure knew she wasn’t. I trusted her that much, which was surprising given I learned just how not to trust people after the last blinding fiasco. So, if I decided she was worth the trust in that short a period of time, then I was man enough to stand behind my belief.

Vegard only shrugged, dismissing an argument on the point the conversation was heading into. He was good like that, and I was nearly always glad of it. “I am not going to be the judge of that. I trust you are able to make your own decisions. All I am saying is to take care, and look out, and if you need anything call me.”

“I will. Do you know, the first day of the semester, when she introduced herself, the auditorium went crazy?” At my brother’s baffled expression, I elaborated, “Her last name is Fox.”

A full-hearted laugh came over my brother, and it took him a few minutes to get his breathing in order. “Oh, God. Did they make a picnic out of it?”

I chuckled. “Yeah, like you wouldn’t believe it. Worst of it is, she didn’t even know the song at that point.”

“Oh, boy. Who knows what she must have thought,” he commented.

“I am not sure I’d want to know.”

I habitually glanced at my phone, catching the time, realizing that I was going to be late for my class again. Only this time around, I was still at university grounds so I had no excuse. “Vegard, I have to get going,” I stated with alarm ringing in my voice, getting out of my seat, and my brother following straight behind. I grabbed the needed literature from the desk and headed for the door. Once outside, I locked the office, walking Vegard down the corridor, bidding him goodbye and heading in direction of the auditorium.

***

Six o’clock couldn’t come fast enough. All throughout the lesson I kept glancing at my watch, and even when I made it back to the office and needed my focus to grade as much papers as possible, all I could do is count the time. It was slightly annoying to speak the truth, not being able to work when it was required the most. It would have been pointless to leave Catherine waiting for an extra hour for me, when all I could do is pace back and forth in my office, fidgeting about with the stack of papers instead of actually working through them one at a time, so I took my phone out and texted her.

_Change of plans. I will be done at five as well, so I will meet you at the main entrance after your class. Bård_

After that, somehow, I managed to put my thoughts aside for an hour and get some actual work done. That is, until I realized that five o’clock was rapidly approaching. The more anxious I grew the less clearly I thought, so next thing I remembered was the typed text already being sent to my brother. _I hate you, you compulsive planter of ideas!!! I HATE YOU_

My brother’s response was immediate. _What’s going on?_

_You had to plant me the idea of this being a date, didn’t you? Now I can’t stop freaking out._

It took a while for his next message to arrive, so just as I was giving up on the idea of him actually replying, and was about to shove the phone back in my pocket to restrain myself from pointlessly playing through the device, when the screen flickered a few times. _Oh, baby brother, that is just sad. What are you – a high school student? Get a grip man, or should I buy you diapers?_

I chuckled before texting him back. _This is your fault. And, mocking me just gained you a punch in the face next time I see you._

_I’d like for you to give that a try. Then when you start weeping on the floor because I’ve beaten you, then I will surely be able to get a certificate which would state you should wear diapers forever. And then it would be official, at last!_

Despite the fact the message made me laugh, I replied in a mock fury. It seemed my brother managed to actually achieve his goal, since in all the joking around I completely forgot about my dancing nerves. _Fuck you!_

_You are welcome. Have a nice time ;)_

I groaned, and got up from my seat, collecting my things and leaving the office. Not considering for once I was without a reply from Catherine, I headed towards the main entrance, and just as I presumed she was standing there, waiting. Her hair was slightly ruffled up, presumably from a whole day at university. ~~~~

She seemed to be braced in some thoughts, so I slowly approached her, saying, “Hey, Earth to Catherine.”

She shyly smiled once she looked up. “Hei, yeah, I spaced out. If it’d have taken you a bit more, I probably would have transported somewhere.”

“Don’t be mean,” I mumbled. She only addressed me another smile back, and said nothing, so I suggested, “Shall we?”

“Where exactly are we going?” she swiftly enquired.

Glancing sideways at her, I responded, “There is a coffee shop about five minutes away.”

Catherine simply nodded, and we continued walking in silence. Luckily for us, considering it was basically the end of the day, and everyone just wanted to get home, the coffee shop was not full of people. Maybe an occupied table here or there, but more than enough free tables for us.

We were attended to right away, and once the girl stepped away with our orders, I turned to Catherine, saying, “They make the best, well everything, and those drinks can keep up a person on their toes for three days in a row. It is blessing for any exam craze, and I need one right about now.”

She swirled the spoon in the warm drink before her. “You need an exam or a blessing?”

I spontaneously followed her lead, repeating the motion in my own drink. “The latter for the first.”

“Exams are still about a month away,” she exhaled, supposedly finding an excuse for the low spirit of my words, though if her tone of voice was to be any indication, she understood me completely. “And, besides I can’t believe you are the one complaining, and doing so in a presence of a student who has to study for five completely different subjects.”

“Need I remind you about the pile of papers I would have to go through to grade you all?” I was raising my defense, no actual heat in my words. “That is way too many different handwritings and ideas.”

“One of which is a language she is completely horrible at,” she bickered back.

“Unfortunately a grand compilation of nonsense, as well,” I explained.

She nodded, the motion being so short, that one would assume its presence shouldn’t have been detected. “There is also the fact she needs to hand in a few project beforehand.”

“And, the fact, he has to check all those beforehand-handed papers, and has to publish his own.”

“Which he could copy from a student, or an unfortunate TA.” She squinted her eyes at me, raising an eyebrow provocatively, challenging me not to retaliate.

“Which she could copy from the internet, and pretend it’s hers.”

“I’d argue, but since you are going to come up with a reply anyway, I deem it pointless to try.” She shrugged, all the enthusiasm of the tiff entirely gone.

“Give it a try,” I whispered, getting my posture in order, trying not to convey how affected I was by her defeated countenance. It wasn’t a topic for an argument, it would seem, something else was bothering her.

“It is not about university. Doesn’t matter,” she whispered, confirming my suspicions, her gaze no longer challenging as earlier, and was now not meeting mine for the first time in the exchange. “Anyway, you were promising some king of a quote?”

“I believe I did,” I smiled as she looked at me, and she addressed me a weak smile. “What do you want to know?”

“What was your opinion on the book while you were writing it?”

“I hated it, and still do.” I chuckled upon noticing that she was sending daggers at me with her gaze. “I told you when you bought it. It is a horrible book, and doesn’t do justice to anything I had tried to capture.”

“What do you mean it doesn’t do anything justice?” she feistily wondered.

I only smiled, knowing there was more to come before she would be finished. I could see that passion about the subject, the same one I had when I was her age, and I knew she had a lot to add as a second thought to her initial words. Therefore, I just waited.

I wasn’t wrong. “From what I have read, not only did you give an accurate representation of every work, but you also gave the history and your thoughts. It isn’t necessary for those to overlap with those of the creator, but nonetheless it doesn’t make them any less of an opinion.”

“You are by far my least severe critic,” I stated matter-of-factly, before even realizing the words had left my lips. I shot her a smile, and took a sip from my drink. “The thing is I am never satisfied with a work because I have this belief that one can’t represent something which centuries have built through one essay.”

Kate crashed her wrists together, placing her elbows on top of the table and rested her chin on her open palms. She tilted her head to the side, and with that rarely noticeable glint in her eyes and through a smile said, “Why makes you think that?”

“The reason I immersed myself in the world of architecture is because I thought it would help me get a better perception of the world.”

“And did it?” she eagerly wondered.

I chuckled at her impatience. “Architecture is not just the outer show of a building, just as people are not only the appearance they carry. When we look at a person, it is not just the color of the eyes we catch, nor is it the way the person smiles. Those are the additional benefits,” I teased.

She smiled back. However, she scorned, “You can’t take anything seriously, can you?”

“What are you talking about?” I conveyed outrage as best as I could. “I am perfectly serious,” I mumbled, before continuing, “For me, it is the same with architecture. We don’t just look at the appearance of the building, we look for what’s within it and the beauty hidden in the walls. Upon getting to know a person we want to know what makes that person tick. And, well, we also want to know the story of a building so that we can admire it, and its appearance.”

She squinted her eyes at me. “Well, isn’t that usually the purpose? Knowing the building?”

“Not for many people. There are those who just cherish the contrast of shades, and combination of shapes, which makes it truly remarkable when one thinks of the fact they can divide that from the soul of the place.”

“So, some people don’t see it as a complete study, just a partial one?”

“Exactly,” I affirmed, nodding absentmindedly.

“So, how can they call themselves architects if they don’t care about the story of what they are studying?” She looked perplexed. “I don’t understand.”

“Me neither,” I commented.

As much as I would have loved to remain chatting with Catherine, one look at my watch was enough to let me know I needed to get home. For one, I was tired. I had quite a lot of paperwork to cover, and I had a long day ahead of me, so I asked for the check and walked Catherine back to the university, where we parted.

I rushed to the parking lot, throwing my things in the back of the car, and sliding in the driver’s seat, finding tranquility for the first time during the day to rethink on the gravity of my brother’s words.


	17. Catherine: A Cabin?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A surprise for Kate thanks to an impulse on Baard's side. Thus, a trip to the illustrious cabin is born!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Speaking of births, [ Roger ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2RHE8Pw_phw) and [ Mick ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h6hncbbkKr8) are celebrating their birthdays ^_^   
> So, in sight of that, the fact it is raining outside and the working beat these songs give, I actually settled on checking this chapter and posting it almost to the date ;)   
> To set the mood for the upcoming story, another song which I am sure everyone here is all too well familiarized with. Ladies and gentlemen, the one and only [ Vegardino ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ua1FAlHt_Ys).  
> Enjoy!

I was in the middle of answering Bård’s question when my phone buzzed. Both our gazes landed on the device on my left, and with a small nod as an apology addressed to Bård, I dropped the pen to pick the device up instead. Reading through the e-mail I had just received, I couldn’t help but grin at the screen.

It was clear Bård had had his gaze fixed on me, since barely seconds after I smiled, he picked up the change in my expression, which was in all honestly hardly a difficult task, and asked, “What’s happened?”

I quickly scanned through the last few lines of the email, just to be sure I wasn’t missing anything important, and then looked up to meet Bård’s gaze. I tried to pretend my breath didn’t hitch upon finding Bård edged closer than he had been a few moments prior.

“No lessons tomorrow. They are canceled due to a seminar,” I explained.

He mischievously chuckled, an unexplainable glint in his eyes and his rather familiar crooked smile on his lips, before clearing his throat and saying, “Since when did you start grinning at such news instead of disappointedly listing the cons of such a decision?”

“Don’t be mean about it. It is not like I am a bookworm,” I stated, at which I received a look full with meaning, which as I interpreted was close to Bård saying ‘Yeah right’ with the highest doze of sarcasm possible to be mastered in so brief a time.

I shook my head at him, sure he’d get the general disapproval in my eye roll, not so subtly performed, impassively continuing, “I like losing lectures when I want extra free time to rest. It’s _not_ like it is the end of the world when I wish for such a thing.”

He smirked. I knew right away, I wouldn’t particularly like what he had to say. “Might as well be.” However, after my defiantly deadly glare, he cut the teasing short, and said, “Well, since you are looking at this on the bright side, at least you will have tomorrow to go somewhere and relax.”

I ran my fingers through my hair, intending to calm down the wild strands of hair and lock them back in place, only to have my nails catch in them and rake up a few strands even messier. “I wish I had somewhere quiet to go,” I sighed.

“I know just the place,” he enthusiastically announced, startling me from my wistful state, grabbing me by the wrist gently, yet decisively with no intention of letting go, and practically dragging me out of the library. I knew it would take too long for me to get used to his sudden decisions at a sprinting marathon.

I threw my bag over my shoulder, my free hand holding onto the stripe of the bag with the upmost force I could develop. _‘Thank goodness I thought of packing it once we were finished,’_ my mind provided as I was trying my best not to stumble over my own feet as Bård dragged me behind him.

“Where are we going?” I wondered out loud, not that I had it in my ability to fight against the relentless grip and escape the situation should I wish it.

“I want to show you something,” was the only reply I received from Bård, and though usually mysteriousness was something I’d highly appreciate, this time around the case was not such. Once I was seated in his car, fastening the seatbelt, and he joined me I couldn’t help but ask again as to where we were going.

This time around my question was dignified with an answer. Bård looked at me with a beaming smile on his face, and I couldn’t help but return with a smile of my own. And, then he spoke. “To my family’s cabin. It is my brother’s now, but I don’t think he will mind.”

“What?” I exclaimed. “You are insane.”

“You wanted somewhere peaceful and quiet, and I am taking you to such a place. It’s a long way, but we should be back by tonight.” He only smirked at me, and at times I’d find that expression irresistible, only now I couldn’t help the fact how my heart faltered at the thought of us being alone in _his_ family’s cabin, which by the few words he had said of it seemed to be secluded. Or maybe the cause of my heart skipping a few beats was me facing the fact that I’d be alone with him for the rest of the day. It is not that I feared his company, every conversation always seemed to flow perfectly between us, but somehow, that was the bad thing. I knew I liked him too much for my own good.

I gulped a mouthful of fresh air, and turned to him, saying, “If you are planning on driving like last time, I am getting off at the first stop.”

He chuckled, shaking his head. “I assure you, I will be the calmest of drivers.”

“Hah,” I sarcastically said, at which I received an angry look from him. Wanting to drive him even further, I proceeded, “I find that hard to believe.”

“Don’t be mean, I can be responsible when I drive.” And, with those words he peeled off the parking lot.

***

The drive to the so called ‘Cabin’ was longer than I had anticipated, but it was passed either in cheerful conversation or pleasant silence. Somewhere after a couple of hours of driving, Bård got the car parked a few meters into a small pathway on the side of the road, informing me we would have to proceed on foot.

“You are aware that the fact I actually have trainers is only a working of pure luck?” I wondered, opening the door and stepping out, just so to be met with the deviant turf I was expecting.

“Or telepathy,” he quickly cut me off. “Because I sent a message to the subconscious part of your mind and thus made sure you’d wear them today.”

I burst out laughing. I couldn’t help it, not with the seriousness he was spotting. “That is the single most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard,” I exclaimed, suddenly realizing we were all alone in a middle of a forest, with nobody around to hear us. And, then I realized how much I’d wished for a peaceful place where it could be me who would disturb the peace by screaming my lungs out or laugh from the bottom of my heart without anyone frowning down on my behavior, and suddenly I felt the enormous urge to hug Bård and thank him for finding the perfection of a place I’d been looking all over for.

“No, it is not ridiculous,” he complained, stopping in his tracks, and facing me. “There have been cases in which people have been known to communicate across the world.”

I cocked an eyebrow at him, skeptically pointing every word out, “With a phone, or through the internet, yes.”

“Have faith in the supernatural,” he mocked my voice, drawing a defeated sigh from me.

“You are unbelievable.” I bypassed him, even though I had no idea about the direction we were headed into. It was just that I couldn’t force myself to remain calm and observe his clear nonsensical attempts at making me lose my control.

“Let me tell you something. Next time you come here with someone,” I proceeded, flipping my finger in the air and pointing it back at him, while throwing him a chaste glance over my shoulder. “And you decide letting them know about the plan through your psychic connection and clairvoyant spirits, and you end up carrying that person because of the person’s inability to walk in their sandals, give me a call so that I can tell you I told you so.”

I ended with a chuckle, addressed directly at Bård, since he was now walking next to me. He was completely focused on observing my expression, rather than the path before him, which caused him to stumble upon a collection of branches and quickly descend on the ground with a grunt.

To say I laughed at him with all I had in me would be an understatement. I burst out laughing, so honestly and fully, as though I had suppressed laughter in through months or _years_ , and as though it was only then it managed to come alive, and take on its full strength. I covered my face with my hands, as my whole body was shaking, and each time I thought I’d suffocated the desire to laugh, my gaze would fall at the man on the ground, who had his arms dropped loosely over his knees and was looking at me as though he held the biggest of grudges against me, and the wave of laughter would start up again on its own.

At a certain point, through my attempts at composing myself and catching a breath, I heard myself exclaim. “You are definitely insane. I can’t believe you tripped over a branch.”

I locked my gaze with that of Bård, and though he was trying to maintain a pout, I could see a smile springing to life in there somewhere. I stepped closer to him, outstretching my arm, while saying, “Come on, old man. Let me help you up.”

I couldn’t avoid the relishing of my mind in the sensation of how smooth the touch of his fingerprints against my palm was, nor could I detect anything beyond the firm squeeze his hand gave mine, and then all I could register was me waking up from a trancelike state as I fell on the ground next to him. It was his turn to laugh at my wildly baffled expression.

“Says the person who fell without any influence, all by herself,” he wittedly joked.

“Har, har,” I mumbled, as I shook my head at him disapprovingly, and before I could even register it, he straightened up and ended standing before me, offering his hand to me, as to help me get up as well. For a second I thought it would be nice to get him back for what he did by pulling him back down, but then I realized that his childishness and my stubbornness would have us repeat that until someone decided to cave and admit defeat, or in the worst case scenario, until one of us gave the other a severe injury. So, I ignored the workings of my mind, and simply took his hand, allowing myself to be pulled up.

I shook off the dirt off my trousers, and glanced up to see Bård smiling at me. I mirrored his smile, and after he motioned to the path, we continued to walk. I ignored the sudden itch rushing in a trail down my fingers, a necessity to reach and grasp Bård’s hand in a hold. “How far away are we exactly?”

“Another five minutes and we will be there,” he whispered back.

“Don’t you think we should go back?” I asked, looking up at the sky to be greeted by a group of angry looking clouds. “I mean look at the sky. It sure as hell seems set on raining.”

He glanced up, as well, shrugging it off in matter of second. “We will be fine. I am sure Vegard has some umbrellas stocked at the cabin, along with some emergency kits, and a list of precautions and activities from every survival camp he’s ever attended.”

I nodded in return even though Bård wasn’t looking at me, fixing my gaze on my feet once again, resisting the urge to start humming a familiar tune.

“Welcome to the family’s cabin,” Bård voice reached my senses after a few silent minutes of walking, and I looked up, only to be greeted by a red cabin, located in the middle of nowhere, basically situated between the boarders of the forest. We walked up to the entrance, and he fished out a key out of somewhere to unlock the door.

He let me pass through the door first, and the one thing which I realized upon stepping inside, was the coldness of the place, and then he closed the door behind us and said, “Don’t take your shoes off. It is freezing.”

“This place is well maintained,” I murmured more to myself rather than to Bård, but he caught it nevertheless, and responded, “This is my brother’s sanctuary. He dotes on the place so much, so it is always spick and span, and ready to be used again.”

I just glared at him for about a moment, resisting the urge to arch an eyebrow to reaffirm my glare, until he caught up with his words and his jaw fell at the attempt to say, “In a, uhm, non-prostitute sense, I mean.”

I hummed in agreement, trying to hide my amusement regarding his stuttering as best as I could. “I gathered as much,” I mumbled a response, instead, and then I jumped at the sudden collision of an object with the rooftop.

I am sure Bård would deny it for as long as he could manage, but I saw him flinch at the sound as well. He moved back a few steps towards the door, before another thud reverberated through the place, disturbing the silence. He snatched the door open, and an object flew right before us, explaining the cause of the two previous thuds. The small piece of ice rolled down the path, stopping a few steps from the porch, where stood a very stunned Bård, who only managed to say, “What the hell? You should have warned me on the hailstone storm.”

I would have commented how his clairvoyant spirits hadn’t taken a notice of the weather, but if he felt nearly as annoyed as I was at the mocking ice, it would turn out horribly. So, I settled for stifling the thoughts.

“How are we gonna get back?” I wondered, hoping the thing would just wind down, so that we would be able to make it back to the car, and go back. I knew my hopes were not very likely to come true.

Bård’s lack of response had me thinking he, as myself, had no response to the question which would result in a solution to the problem, so I only swallowed a lump. Bad joke at an even worse timing as a mechanism for coping somehow left my mouth before I even registered its forming. “I don’t thing umbrellas can help with those, not unless they were made on a meteoroid apocalypse survival camp.”

He tried for a small, reassuring smile, but it didn’t reach beyond a tight-lipped twitch. I appreciated his effort though.

“By the looks of the sky we are going to be stuck here for a while, which is why we need to build up a fire.”

The door slammed behind him, as he moved inside, and I ended up trailing after him inside the living room. Bård was already setting up the fireplace, completely sprinted into action, not paying attention to the fidgeting person standing in the middle of the room.

“So, now we are stuck here?” I muttered, trying to get his attention, which worked and he looked up from his work, fixing his gaze on me, and replied, “Yeah, I am sorry, but we are. At least until the storm stops.”

I was going to begin to freak out, but then I figured it would be the last thing he would have to deal with, while building up a fire which was supposed to keep us warm in the freezing house. I needed to make myself useful. “What can I do to help?”

He addressed me a chaste smile, before bending down to proceed, as he muttered, “We will need food, and my brother keeps the kitchen stocked, so check if there is something still edible there.” I was going to move to obey right away, since it was also my anxiety which required reassurance, except for the small problem of not knowing where the kitchen was. I stood there for but a minute, when he looked up in understanding, and stretched out his arm pointing at the door and said, “Down the corridor on your right, till the back of the house.”

I left the room after those words, looking for the kitchen, and barging in the small room once I found it, only to let out a sigh of relief upon seeing that Bård’s presumptions, as to his brother keeping food there, were correct. I grabbed a few packages of the bagged food at the front of the cupboard only to check the expiration date, and was glad it was still within the limits, so I made my way back – to where I had left Bård – to let him know, only to find him leaning against the mantelpiece, a fire already burning.

“You did it,” I simply commented, trying to hide how astounded I actually was, and he looked at me, and through a smirk commented, “Send the woman to the kitchen and the job gets done all by itself.”

I nodded, humming in slight confirmation of his words, biting my lower lip, before asking, “Is that so?” I cocked an eyebrow at him, my expression growing completely serious. “You will be happy to know there is food in the kitchen. Hungry?”

“Famished,” he confirmed.

I turned back to head to the kitchen again, and I could hear Bård’s footsteps right behind me. Unwantedly, an unfamiliar uneasiness set in my veins. Usually, everything with Bård was great, and things at the moment seemed to lead to a situation which could get awkward. I hated myself for not being able to get the thought out of my head, not even when we got around to the cooking part.

Somehow, we managed to skim through every cupboard to find ingredients for a sauce, and in the process made a complete mess out of the place. At a certain point I realized Bård wasn’t in the room anymore, having slipped out without my notice and without so much as a word, so I used the time to get the place in order, while the spaghetti were cooking on the stove. It was a silent agreement to choose that for our meal, mostly because there was an abundance of spaghetti and were less likely to be missed.

I washed the dishes we no longer had any need of, took care of cleaning up the counters, and thoughtlessly began swaying as I wiped the dishes clean, before returning them at their original location. The movements on an unfamiliar tune, had me forgetting about the cold atmosphere and the fact I wasn’t alone in the place. Unaware of the presence leaned against the doorframe, I jumped in surprise when Bård cleared his throat, immediately snapping my eyes in his direction and irreversibly blushing under his gaze. I ducked my head slightly to hide the evidence of my cheeks flushing with color.

“You cleaned up?” he muttered.

“Send the man out of the kitchen, and the job gets done all by itself,” I mirrored his entire posture, alongside the attitude, from earlier.

“Fair enough,” he hummed his agreement, shifting on his feet, and raising his previously obscured hand from behind the door frame to reveal a bottle of wine, its neck laced in between his finders. “I got the wine. It is not the most expensive of vintages, but it will do the job as an appetizer.”

As much as I avoided drinking, one glass wouldn’t be remiss, so I turned around and got two glasses out, placing them on the cabinet, waiting for Bård to approach. He popped the bottle, and poured the content in the glasses, picking up his and allowing me to do the same. We clicked the glasses with a whispered ‘cheers’, before I took a sip, and put the glass back down with the intention of getting the plates ready.

I moved the presently cooked spaghetti onto the plates, picking up the sauce, and carelessly pouring over and stabbing two forks, one in each plate, before picking up the plates, just as Bård tucked the bottle under his arm and picked up the glasses. Silently, we headed back to the living room, which was yet not warm enough to be pleasant, but was nevertheless giving the signs of becoming such rather soon. Bård dropped the glasses on the mantelpiece, and the bottle on the side of it, and shifted two chairs closer to the fire, with the words, “The dinner is gonna have to pass without a table. The room is too small for it to be moved, and it is too cold to sit by the window.”

“I don’t mind. The knees can do the job credibly enough.”

We got settled, and I dug in the plate, realizing how unaware of my own hunger I had been, the doubting, self-righteous thoughts holding my full attention from earlier dissolving as the fire revived my completely frozen fingers.

As I began warming up, I began relaxing, enjoying the silent company of the man sitting opposite me. The dinner was finished, and while I was occupied taking care of the dishes in the kitchen, something I think Bård was at the very least annoyed at me for, he’d arranged the space before the fireplace in a comfortable fortress of cushions and blankets, shifting the sofa closer so we would have something to lean against, and was contentedly seated at one side of his creation when I walked back in the room. I approached him, and after grabbing the glasses of wine and handing Bård his glass, I dropped to seat beside him, a meter still separating us.

I looked up at Bård’s first words, only to find him looking at me. “I don’t know if Adela let you in on this,” he stopped, addressing me a swift smile, not restrained and yet not as warm as his smile usually was. “But I was in a serious relationship until a year or so back.”

“No,” I whispered, shaking my head, returning with a smile of my own. The uneasiness set on Bård’s face, and the inevitable action of him biting on his lip convinced me what he was about to say was in no way pleasant, at least not for him. His smile began to fade, as he looked down in his lap, before beginning, “Her name was Maya.”

I only nodded, my own gaze landing in my lap.

Taking the silence as a clear confirmation, Bård continued. “We were together for nearly three years, and we’d moved in together about half a year before it ended. I loved her very much and I truly believed we were happy despite our cramped schedules, occasional fights. I was seriously contemplating on proposing marriage,” he voiced out, and my head automatically snapped up, as a thought ran through my mind. Why was he telling me that?

My reaction was unobserved, and Bård simply finished his thought, “When she came out and confessed she was leaving me for another man, whose child she was carrying at that moment.”

“What?” I squealed out, before I could stop myself, and he glanced up, weakly smiling at my outburst, before looking down again. I somehow was fixed on every movement Bård made, my eyes scanning every shift of his form, and without any firm intention I also tracked as his tongue darted out to lick his lips.

“It turned out, that while I was thinking we were at a great place, she thought I dedicated more of my time to writing songs with my brother than to her. So, she found herself another guy, who got her pregnant while I was on a tour.”

Restrained pain was obvious in every word he said, and yet nothing about his apparel suggested even remotely that he still felt strongly towards the matter. His fingers untangled, and he brought his hand up, to swipe his hand through his hair, without looking at me. The strands fell back down, hiding his face from me, and I gasped soundlessly at how the hurt I briefly caught in Bård’s eyes, triggered the same sentiment in me.

I wanted to say something, trying to figure out how to say how sorry I felt without coming out as though I pitied him – because I did not, but I didn’t get the chance to gather up my thoughts, before he spoke again.

“She served me with the information quite coldly that it relieved me of any doubt I might have felt as to wanting to fix things with her. Even though it was the first thought which crossed my mind, it simply vanished when she calculatedly, surely explained why she knew the child wasn’t mine.” Bård bitterly croaked out what I knew must have been her words. “Apparently I was an emotionally unavailable, ignorant and selfish person, and according to her, no woman would ever stand to be around me for as long as she did.”

“Then she didn’t deserve you in the first place,” I blurted out, somewhat angrily, and then he looked up, locking his gaze in mine. “Maybe it is not my place to say this, and if I am overstepping any boundary, let me know and I will stop. But, since you decided to tell me this, I think it right to give you my opinion on the matter.”

I smiled at him, swallowing the lump in my throat, which somehow formed as I spoke my last words, and took a breath as I lowered my gaze.

“When it comes to emotionally unavailable, I might not have the firsthand experience, but I assure you that at first glance you are just as available as the next person, so that’s solved I suppose,” I chuckled, biting my lip the very next moment, regretting that I let the smile slip. It is not like it was the most appropriate of times to do it. But, when I looked at Bård and found him warmly smiling at me, the crinkles around his eyes making him look as adorable as ever, all regrets and doubts and hesitations left my mind in a split of a second.

“As to the other two, I doubt anyone should be allowed to call you either of those things, when you heartedly suggest to help someone study a whole new language without having an agenda, and especially not when you barely knew me, so I would deem that as an inaccurate description of your character as well. As for being around you, I might know you only for a short while, but I would rather speak to you than to some people I have known for half of a lifetime.”

I shyly smiled, as he replied with a calm, “Thank you, Kate.”

I thought Bård was going to leave it at that, but he continued, “The worst of it is, she was Mary’s friend. So, when Mary asked what happened, she lied to her. Maya told her it was me who dumped her and that I had told her I didn’t want to see her again. She had the decency to lie about that as well, but I suppose I would have said it if I was ever given the chance.”

I just gaped at him, not able to say anything. It seemed he didn’t want me to say anything either, since he didn’t leave time for me to comment. “My brother found out that side of the story, something, which all relations considered, was inevitable. He came over to confront me about it, and as he said to talk sense into me, and we,” his voice broke, this time around regret was beyond evident, as he took a few stabilizing breaths, the shakiness of his exhales strong enough to have me wondering if he were restraining himself from crying. About that aspect, I concluded then, he still felt as strongly as he had at the very beginning.

I regretted I couldn’t see his face, even though I could hear the feelings in his voice clearly. I suddenly felt the wish to hug him, and never let go.

“We fought,” he more calmly proceeded, breaking my thoughts short. “I was broken at the time, and instead of sitting down with my brother and explaining everything, I attacked him for every word. It resulted with us not talking for six months. He and Mary decided to be there for Maya until I came around on my decision, because, as I believed at the time, they thought it irresponsible of me to be so uncaring for the mother of my child.”

I was sulking up every word, and suddenly everything I knew about Bård began to make sense. And, I cared. More than I had in ages, and was able to admit it to myself at last.

“Needless to say, when my brother slammed the front door in my face with words of clear disappointment, and left me to go through the worst break up in my life without my best friend and my only support, by my side, I fell apart even more, and soon after I couldn’t feel bad about the break up anymore. All I could think was the man I would trust my life with and the one whose opinion mattered the most thought the worst of me.”

Bård looked up at me, and I gave him a reassuring smile, one which said I was listening and I was there and wanted to know. He bit on his lower lip, which was bruised and swollen, having me believe it was the only thing he did whenever he’d make a stop. He was close to drawing out blood.

“The show was coming to an end for that season so we barely saw each other after we wrapped things up at the studio. And even those few last weeks were excruciating. It was insane how bad it all made me feel, us being as professional as we’ve never been before, and everyone noticed the consequences of the fallout. We were simply not us, not those goofy, childish and immature kids we usually were. We were barely cracking a joke in a week, even though on normal bases we did it nearly every minute and for a moment there I thought everything we had was over.”

He fell silent, and I shifted in my seat, and scooped closer. Silently, I reached out and rested my hand on his forearm, giving a gentle squeeze. His gaze roamed down to my hand resting over his, and he looked up at me.

“Neither tried to breach the subject, and I blame myself for not doing it, but his words were still ringing fresh in my ears even after six months, of how he wouldn’t talk to me until I stopped behaving like an idiotic and hormonal kid, and did something to save the relationship with Maya, instead of throwing it away. I didn’t see my family for that period of time, since I found a way to bury myself in work. University was my way out, my way of keeping sane, and I wrote two books I think, one of which is the one you read. Silly or not, it is why I hate it so much.”

We chucked at that confession, and suddenly I realized there was no need for me to be perplexed, or anxious, or riveted and controlled, because I was still conversing with the guy I knew. It was the same Bård, who only gained a bit more depth, but it was the same man whose company I enjoyed immensely.

“What I hate the most is that I avoided meeting him all that time. Whenever there was a family dinner, I was gracious enough to come up with an excuse and not attend, and Vegard never contacted me. Not until Maya gave birth, and the news reached my brother’s ears. Apparently, she had hidden that from them, and when he asked why she never told them she carried my child, she told them that I was not the father. They met the real father during that visit in the hospital, and besides the child’s complexion didn’t leave much space for doubts.”

“Really?” I couldn’t be bothered by my high-pitched voice, or the shock hidden behind that word.

“Yeah.” Bård nodded, obviously amused by my bewildered expression.

“But you and your brother are good now, right? Everything seemed fine when I met him.”

“Yeah, we are good,” Bård confirmed, which had me exhale in relief, more glad than what I could express. “He came back to see me after he found out the truth, and when I told him I knew about the child, he asked why I never said anything. I shrugged it off, and it got back to how it used to be in a matter of seconds. I regret losing all that time with him because I was too stupid to speak up, and out of it all, which is what pained me the most. Vegard not being next to me for all those months. And I will never get them back.”

“And Maya?” I wondered, my eyebrows furrowing at their own accord.

Bård shook his head. “I have no idea where she is. I haven’t heard from her since the day of the break up, and I never tried to contact her either.”

I retreated my hand, leaning back against the couch, now being next to Bård, and since we fell in silence I could hear his every breath, before he spoke again, “You are the first one I told about the bit about Vegard.”

“You didn’t tell him about that?” I raised my eyebrows expectantly, when Bård whispered a small ‘no’. I looked at him, snapping my head sideways, and asked, “Why not?”

“He was blaming himself so much for not being there for me, that I didn’t want to make it even worse. So, I shut my mouth and said nothing. He still thinks I am devastated because of what happened with Maya, but I am not, and it is only because he knows I am hiding something from him, that he keeps reopening the topic.”

“You should tell him, and coming from the girl who always keeps things to herself, it is a hell of an advice.”

Bård smiled. “I will think about it.”

“And I know the last thing you need is me saying I am sorry for what happened to you. But, I am truly, and I am glad you found your way back.”

Bård looked up as though the words were the last thing he expected me to say, and given how closed up I usually was, it would have been a reasonable calculation. I picked up my glass, dragging down a gulp of wine, which was already having its affect and combined with the fire, made my skin buzz with pleasant warmth, still trying to process the pile of information Bård had but shared with me. I wondered why Adela never mentioned anything, but I suppose she was aware the right to tell me the story was Bård’s, or maybe thought I wasn’t interested in hearing it. Whatever the reason, I was glad to hear it from Bård, and I was happy he felt comfortable enough to share, even aspects he hadn’t shared with his brother.

My gaze got locked in the bickering fire, when Bård interrupted the silence. “You know, I have been meaning to ask you,” Bård paused, as I glanced at him, only to catch him taking a sip from his glass, the wine which until that moment had remained forgotten by his side, before continuing, “Somehow I never got the chance, but why did you choose Norway? England’s educational system is rationally considered much better in preparing the students for the dissertation and work in general.”

I looked down at my fingers playing with the glass in my hand, and a moment of thinking, made me decide I trusted Bård enough to tell him the truth. With a deep, stabilizing breath, I stated, “I wanted to escape home.”


	18. Bård: She

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little more time spent at the Cabin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's notes are going to have as little monologue as possible. I will only say - enjoy!

I couldn’t help the evident astonishment which followed her words. “You sound like living in your home is a bad thing.”

She chuckled, _seriously_ chuckled at that. Her fingers found the way to the side of her neck, and she tracked her nails down the skin to the exposed part of her collarbone, before digging her fingertips in the skin, and leaving a white patch of skin in its wake.

A sigh escaped her parted lips, before she provided a response my mind couldn’t have conjured in the wildest of dreams, “It _is_ when you’ve spent your entire life in one place, and have known every nook of it for as long as you can recall.”

My head flew to the side as realization dawned on me, briefly and abruptly, before I froze to a spot – my entire body setting on lockdown, as my eyes fixed on hers. “You still live in your parents’ house?” I questioned, my voice hardly concealing my obvious amazement, and my being torn between the wish to laugh and the one to tease – nothing mean, simply childish, but somehow I controlled my vice of a habits, and left it at only the question.

“Yeah, I do,” she swung her body forwards once, and repeatedly nodded until the moment she whispered, “Surprise, surprise. Anyway, to answer your question, since I wanted to leave home for a little while, I looked up programs, and I found that Norway was both the closest, and least expensive option which suited my desires.”

Her words baffled, as I was sure my expression was displaying.

“How is being close to home a consistency with wanting to escape it?” I arched my eyebrow at her, and she beamed at me. I was glad to note, it was her old self who spoke, nothing in her behavior towards me seemed changed by the story I had shared, and I was happy for it.

“It is not like I wanted to leave home behind for good,” she exclaimed, and I chuckled at the strength behind her words. “I wanted to be as close to home as possible, just not at a five minutes reach. So, Norway fitted every description.”

I had no idea as to what to say next, every gear was shifting in my brain, and yet somehow I had no eminent question for Catherine. “How is a woman who is finishing her PhD not living on her own or with a partner?”

“It just happened,” she whispered, and even though she wasn’t exactly lying to me, I knew there was more to the story than what she was letting on. Her countenance, however, was the reason I decided not to press the matter any further.

I focused on the surroundings, breathing in and out a few times to settle my nerves. The distinct sound of the fire enveloping the logs of wood was adding to the atmosphere. Nature outside the cabin was still fighting a battle with an invisible force, a few thunders would echo from outside every now and then, and the rain was creating a constant music on the rooftop of the cabin. It was growing darker by the minute, and it was more than obvious we would have to stay in the house till the morning, since both the weather and the road would not allow me to return back to the car, and let alone with Catherine following me.

I was quietly making plans for sleeping arrangements, when she spoke again, “I have a brother, too. His name is Frederick, or as he prefers Fred.”

As abruptly as she began, she stopped, and I was vaguely aware she had never mentioned him before. And, just then I realized how little I knew about her, and how willing I was for that to change.

Instead of contemplating over those thoughts, I settled on asking, “How old is he?”

“He is soon to be thirteen,” she replied, before gently and almost above a whisper – quiet enough as to have me think she had no intention of me hearing it – added, “He is having a real hard time.”

“Your brother?” I enquired, and although initially evidently surprised that I had actually heard her, Catherine hesitantly nodded. I cleared my throat, looking at her to find her gaze resting over her interlaced fingers. She had no intention of saying anything as far as, to my notion, I could detect, so without pressuring much I inquired, “Why’s that?”

She paused, as though she was considering whether she wanted to tell me or not. Whichever thought made her decide to confide in me, I knew not, but I was glad of it. I was glad she trusted me enough to share what was clearly troubling her, and I couldn’t stop my heart from fluttering at the thought that maybe I was not the only one who felt that unexplainable connection.

She glanced at me, throwing a brief, but honest smile my way. “I think he just misses me too much. And, he gets lonely,” she sighed, biting on her lower lip, and then took a deep breath before continuing, “With me being here, he has no one to bug, so that can be a problem.”

I smiled at her words. The situation she had described was somewhere along the lines of how I had behaved throughout the first few months of Vegard being gone to the army. So, as a person who remembered how he had once managed solitude, I asked, “Can’t he bother your parents?”

She shook her head. “Nothing he ever does can bother mum.”

I chuckled at that, familiar with the feeling of restriction when the actions take notice on nobody but oneself. “What about your father? Can’t he bother him?”

A moment of silence transpired, long enough to have me believe she was not going to answer the question, even though as much as I thought I couldn’t find a reason.

“Dad is no longer in the picture,” she finally whispered.

“How come?” I spat out before I could stop myself, and sidetrack on the question.

As I glanced at her, I noticed her movements were getting down to the level of her trying to swallow a lump, before she could gather herself enough and reply. And, then I noticed her chin was shaking, so the next thing I could perceive was the change in her breathing pattern. I was about to apologize, and find a way to drop the subject, when she spoke, “He died in a car accident five years ago.”

My hand moved on its own accord, and suddenly I was interlacing our finders, my thumb running soothing circles on the back of her palm. I was surprised at my action, but I wasn’t about to pull back – not unless she wanted me to. But, beside the initial flinch, she didn’t make any movement to indicate the contact was unwanted, so my hand remained unwithdrawn. Her gaze had landed on our intertwined fingers at some point, and remained unwavering as she added, “I was in the car with him.”

I could notice my jaw going slack, just as my fingers curled around her hand slightly tighter, before loosening anew. Suddenly, her fear of speed and how she had panicked throughout the entire drive was entirely explained. Guilt spread through my limbs, making me hate myself for the day I had completely ignored her panicking in favor of getting where I had to be. The selfishness of the behavior was repugnantly familiar. No wonder Catherine always commented on the driving before getting in the car with me. No wonder she was always, basically gulping clouds of air when I would speed up suddenly.

Her voice broke me out of the trance I had fallen into, interrupting my line of thought. “I can hear the mechanisms shifting in your head. Not sure if they are those which are trying to get the picture of the puzzle or the guilt ones.” Her expression was a mix between determination and sadness, and I cursed myself inwardly for remaining silent for God knows how long.

“Both,” I confessed. “Was it just the two of you or was the whole family together?”

Her eyes locked on mine, with an intense surprise written in her gaze, which spoke that my retort was at the very least an unexpected one. The blazing contact of her hand on my skin – pliant in my palm, which I had entirely forgotten about, was suddenly a shocking reminder when her other hand moved to cover my own, her fingertips grazing over my fingers. Before I could enjoy in the feeling however, it was gone, and so was the other hand, having me missing the loss. I withdrew my hand from next to her wanting to know if her heart beat as quickly as mine did at that moment, but I placed those thoughts aside, as it was then when she began to talk.

“It was just us in the car,” she started carefully. “We were on our way back home when it happened, after I defended the presentation of my masters.” She stopped, taking a deep breath, her eyes closing and I knew she was struggling to battle the tears away. I could sense it in the way her breath faltered, in how she focused too much on controlling her expression so she was fully unaware of the tiny gulps of air she kept taking every other second.

“We don’t have to talk about that,” I intertwined. Even though in normal circumstances curiosity would have gotten the better of me, I wouldn’t let it overpower my rationality when she felt so uncomfortably distressed. Telling me those few details was certainly more than I ever could have expected.

“I want to,” she stated, glancing at me deliberately, in search of the confirmation whether I was comfortable with the track of the conversation. I smiled at her, nodding once as a confirmation of the unspoken request, but otherwise remained silent, waiting for her to continue. Seeming to read every sign, she did proceed.

“My mum and Fred went home ahead of us to prepare for a celebration on my father’s insistence. He was certain I had passed with flying colors despite my insistence on the exact opposite, so he convinced my mother to find us a good bottle of wine, and buy chocolate cake. We stayed behind to get the results, and about two hours later we were leaving the building with him carrying the brightest smile I’ve ever seen on him, saying ‘Told you so’ in his usual cheerful way.”

Catherine chuckled, her smile stretching between happiness at the memory and the pain of it, and even though understandably she was severed between those emotions, it was obvious that shared bit was the pleasant one. The spark in her eyes was unmistakably there, though rather dimmed, and I couldn’t stop the faint ghost of a smile which covered my lips.

I would have remained fixed on the shine of the fire in her eyes, the way it made their color transform and glaze into different shades, all combined with the glint of her own warmth, and I was mesmerized and fashionably wooed by the last, at the least, but her continuance snatched me out of those observations. Thankfully.

“He was so happy for me, and I was still in shock from the results. So, naturally he did all the enthusiastic squealing on my behalf,” her voice was warm, but her hand began rubbing the back of her neck, and I could see the tension in the muscles of her forearm. “I didn’t expect it to go so well, and I was trying my best to stay ahold of my emotions.”

It was then when her voice got strained. It was not a new thing for Catherine to be serious, but it was entirely new for her to be trying to hold on to her composure, and particularly for the lack of it to be noticeable at such an extent. I knew it must have been difficult for her to look up at me, and spill the rest of the story, glaring directly in my eyes the whole time – I just couldn’t imagine how much, but she was full of surprises.

“When dad asked me to take the wheel and drive back, I refused thinking I wouldn’t be focused enough on the road. I knew, however, that dad could pull it off. He was a diligent driver, that day more so than ever,” she paused, her hand falling back down on her thigh, but her gaze not flickering even for a moment, as she waited no more than a heartbeat to proceed. “I was silent throughout the drive, too lost in my thoughts to disrupt him. I knew we were not going above 30 miles per hour. Didn’t matter though, since the guy who hit our car was definitely going above 50 according to the reports from the police.”

“I remember the squeal of the breaks, and dad trying his best to avoid the inevitable. I remember the sound of the compact, how horribly blood-freezing it sounded, and I never fainted. The first few moments of the crash are still a blur, but the first conscious action I remember is looking up at dad, and seeing him covered in blood and cuts from the triturated glass. I unbuckled my belt and took my phone out to call ambulance, which I did as I stepped out of the vehicle on my way to open dad’s door and see what to do to help him.”

She stopped there, biting down on her lower lip as though trying to hide the trembling of it, her eyes grew glassy and I knew she was moments from tears. Surprisingly for me, she blinked them away, and after few deep, stabilizing breaths she locked her gaze back with mine. “When I got around to checking his pulse, he was already gone. Ironically, the person responsible for my father’s death walked pretty much intact, while my dad had a fractured skull, a few broken ribs, and punctured lung. He never stood a chance.”

“You miss him, don’t you?” It was an obvious answer, but it was just a way to let her proceed without snooping in something she might not want to share. To my relief, as usually, she seemed to understand exactly what I wanted to achieve.

“Very much.” She worried her lower lip between her teeth, the skin growing a darker shade of red when released. “And, so do mum and Fred. It is like we’ve locked in all happy and complete with him, and I know dad would have hated that. He would have advised us quite the opposite, really.”

She paused and I stepped in, providing for her. “Not to mourn his death, but to celebrate his life?”

She nodded, a small smile brightening her features. “As cliché as that sounds, he would have used those exact words.” A few moments of silence, passed between us, I was trying to allow her to calm down, while I was trying to process the said.

“My boyfriend at the time declared I was growing closed off and he couldn’t deal with my drama,” she stated, a hint of annoyance hidden in her voice, “and broke it off with me. The group of friends we shared followed him, so yeah.”

I wasn’t sure if she wanted me to comment, but every insult I had at the ready, for the unfeeling person who could do that, I swallowed down.

I wasn’t sure how long my thoughts had been entranced in imagining how it must have felt, losing all support when most needed, but I shook them off when I realized I had kept quiet for too long. Kate didn’t seem to mind.

Stifling a yawn, she glanced at me, saying, “And, I thought leaving home will make me feel a little bit better, and it has. But, there is also my mother and brother. She is okay, I assume, apart from missing me terribly. Fred is way too clingy and silent for his age. That is scaring the hell out of me. I haven’t seen him smile – as he used to along dad – in years. And, he is just a kid. I mean, he is supposed to smile every second of every day. Not to mention he used to be the very definition of cheerful.”

I hummed in contemplation. “Maybe he only needs the space, and when you get back home he will be his old self as you put it.”

Catherine shook her head, looking lost. “I thought that as well, but he keeps begging me to go home for the weekends. As much as I would love to comply, I have neither the time and capacity, nor the financials for travelling back and forth every week.”

“So why not tell him that?” I questioned.

She chuckled, but the sound felt bitter on her lips. “I did.”

“He is going to be okay, you know?” I whispered after a few prolonged moments of silence. “If he takes any by his sister and I am sure he does, he must be bright, and that means he can find his getaway or consolation in knowledge.  If he needs to talk to someone, I am sure you will always be there for him. Besides, he is in the period of life when everything is new for him, so he will find his way out.”

“Thank you, Bård.” She sounded honest, and after a few brief moments of silence which had me believe she had no intention to say anything, she looked at me, smiled and whispered, “Dad was a cheerful guy, just like you. And, he would have loved you.” She didn’t break eye contact and I was feeling a magnetic pull which was so wrong, but at the same time felt _so_ right.

Her lips parted to let out a silent exhale, and her tongue darted out to run along her lower lip, whilst I remained immobile, my eyes following the motion. Unintentionally I mimicked her, and she followed my movement with the same hunger with which I followed hers. I felt myself drifting closer with the pull of that invisible force, and I was about to lean in and seal out lips in a kiss, when she half-gasped, half-smiled, and averted her gaze from mine, turning her face away.

She planted the heels of her palms in her eye sockets, a motion which depicted perfectly both the confusion and exhaustion I myself felt. The latter made me excuse myself for a few moments, to take care of sleeping arrangements, and once I did, I joined Kate back by the fire.

We tried a few topics, but somehow they all died away before we got them even stated, and thanks to the battling sound of rain outside the place, and the warmth of the fire, the pleasantness of the company, and the exhaustion from the day, I found myself drifting off to sleep sooner than planned.

***

I woke up feeling chilly, the only warmth coming from the body next to mine. And, then I snapped out of my sleep-addled state, my confusion in the fact there was an actual person by my side was explained when I became aware of my surroundings. It was then when the previous night came flashing back to me – before my eyes, and somehow I couldn’t part from the very much cuddled Catherine on my side. Her head supported half on my chest, half on my shoulder, and I couldn’t make myself move.

The overwhelming feeling of awareness regarding my strength in opening my life to her, and her reciprocation of the same sort, the confusing character of her last words and their meaning, and the startling feeling of my nearly boundary-overstepping action made my skin buzz. But it wasn’t excitement what I felt.

I shifted, and made sure her head would land on my arm as to not wake her up, and I picked her up bridal style. I tried to ignore how her fingers brushed my neck, how her hair tickled my skin pleasantly, and how when her breath ghosted over my cheek my entire body covered in goosebumps. Every attempt was unsuccessful. I took a moment of observing how peaceful she seemed, how relaxed she was in my arms, and when I caught myself in the staring, I cursed inwardly for being so obvious. I placed her down on the couch which was initially set up for me, but it was better than carrying her to a completely different room, and since I needed an escape soon, in order of not doing something incredibly stupid, I covered her with a blanket, and placed another log in the fire, just in case.

It was all the self-control I could master, and by and by, I grabbed my jacket from the chair where it had been resting, and fled the room. Once I was on the porch, and the fresh air provided enough clarity for sensible thinking in my fired up mind, I let a sigh I didn’t know I had been holding. To my relief, it was already brightening and when I took my phone out, I was happy to see it was nearing seven. Which meant Kate and I had spent the whole night sleeping one against the other, and even though the crouched position by the foot of the couch should have been a horrible one, I felt as though it had been years since I had gotten that proper of a sleep.

I buried my head in my palms, completely exasperated at how conflicted my feelings were. There was desire, and I hated how much principle prevented me on acting on it and figuring out how it could feel. How it would be. I hated the illustrious feeling of connection I felt the night before, and mostly I hated how even though swearing I would never fall for some idea which just couldn’t be, I managed to do it with the first person I became close to.

I hated how comfortable she made me feel, how familiar I have gotten to every move. How I craved her touch, and longed for her smile. How her approval made me gloat in pride, and her hurt made me insistent on making her feel better. I hated every little moment I gave in to bliss thanks to a few nice words. How my eyes found a way to separate her from the crowd, and how I familiarized myself with her every expression without ever trying hard to. I hated how accommodated I felt in her closeness. And, I hated myself for not really hating anything in the slightest.

In the wee hours of the morning, breathing in the post-rain air of the woods, I finally managed to admit something to myself.

I was in love with Catherine, beyond return.


	19. Catherine: Somebody To Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a date? Or not? Well, maybe!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A new chapter rather soon, as I've had both the time and the wish to write. _This is for the one I miss!_  
>  I hope you like the update and I hope you enjoy!!!

I was a suspect in the most important, life-altering case Adela had ever had the pleasure to encounter – at least, so it was, according to her words. And, to her knowledge she couldn’t help but declare Bård as an accomplice in the so well planned ‘crime’, and kept insisting on having to question him, as well. Well, that was the short version of the words which she had been springing on me throughout the entire morning whenever she had laid her eyes on me, trying to prove a point as to why I should be telling her everything about the trip to the – as it turned out – famous cabin, whilst I kept refusing to share any details.

Needless to say, her first question – as unforgettable as it will always remain – was whether the walls of the place were decorated with copper and dead animals, and if there were skies on the walls. And, after I remained silent for about five minutes following the question and tried my best to steel my befuddled expression, she played their song, and continued to pray for an answer. I was cruel in my silence, and provided none.

On was the interrogation relating what Bård and I spoke of, why we were there in the first place, and so on. Beyond infuriating was the fact every second word coming out of Adela’s mouth was Bård’s name. I would have shared it all, if she had the compassion to allow me a few hours to decompress, digest it all, and go through the events of the previous night myself, and after hours of agonizing relentlessness due to her insistence, I told her the exact same thing. The fact that she had noticed my absence in the house during the night was not as alarming as her obvious persistence in terrorizing me until I caved and shared information. Luckily, she decided to give me my space, and let me rest, leaving the room with the words, “I am not done with you.”

And, if her determined expression was anything to go by, she was not – a notion which was confirmed too soon for my liking. I tried to avoid discussing the trip to the cabin with Bård at all costs, but as though Adela could read that the only thing on my mind was that trip, she didn’t let the question slide without answers.

Utterly and most definitely. I knew I had to seek out my own demons, and answer those questions which were roaming through my mind, but I had no chance of doing so until I was finished answering hers.

***

I barely saw Bård during the following month, much to both my relief and unsettlement. The craze of the finals captured almost my entire attention, and the rest of it was dedicated to Fred, so I had to cancel Bård’s lessons in favor of studying, and Bård gave his complete understanding. The one time we saw each other, he proceeded explaining the remaining bits I needed for the exam without any delay – mindful of my limited time, and nothing was ever spoken about our trip to his family cabin nor about the words which transpired there.

I knew my thoughts were in absolute mess – since whenever I thought about Bård I didn’t know where to start from, and yet, thinking about him took most of my spare time and I was beginning to believe I would not be able to focus on my studying. Therefore, I firmly decided to throw Bård out of my mind as effectively as I could, until I finished the exams, and in all miracles I managed to do so.

However, the moment I stepped outside the room, my last exam right behind me, Bård’s face momentarily appeared before my eyes, and I knew it was time to finally go through the mess my feelings were and see where I was and how I felt. Somehow, I feared the result wasn’t going to be to my liking.

Yet, as serendipity wouldn’t have it, Adela didn’t give me the alone time I needed to think. She took it upon herself to distract me from worrying about exam results, only that was the very last thing which had me worried. I couldn’t take the blame for it, as I tried depicting the matter to her. She didn’t believe that for a moment, which was why we were arguing in my room with all strength each could muster as to whether we should go out or not. I was decisively holding onto staying home. It wasn’t my wish to spend the day shopping, when I desperately needed to think.

Adela was about to start another word vomit, when my laptop chimed, letting me know I had received an e-mail. My heart fluttered at seeing Bård’s name, and I hurried to open it. It was an official mail from the system to let us know the results from the final exam in architecture were ready, and that Bård would give away grades during office hours.

I was so immersed in the message, that I hadn’t even noticed Adela drawing closer, and her hovering presence over my shoulder until she said, “You are going to see him now, aren’t you?”

I looked at her, and shrugged, while I stammered the words which opposed to run smoothly despite my hardest attempts. “I, well –, the results are ready. I should pick up my grade, because you know.”

“Yeah, I do,” she said a bit too knowingly, and I froze expecting her to say something I wasn’t yet ready to hear. She only shook her head, addressing me a swift smile. “I know when I am beaten, but we are still going out tomorrow,” she threatened, already beginning to make her way towards the door, and just before she slipped out of the room, she enthusiastically added, “Say hi to professor Sexy for me.” She winked at me, and with that she left me alone to the silence of my room, as I began freaking out about seeing Bård again.

I only changed my shirt – avoiding to open up a whole debate on creating a new combination to wear, reassembled my hair in a ponytail and threw a bag over my shoulder, grabbed my phone and headed towards the university. Adela sent me a mischievously meaningful gaze when she passed me on the staircase, and it almost seemed as though she had planned just that from the moment she left my room. I couldn’t stop myself from rolling my eyes at her. It made her grin even further, but it did bring a smile on my lips.

When I knocked on Bård’s office door, my heart was thumping with the speed of light mostly because I overstressed on my way there, and my mind was growing hazy with nonsensical thoughts, as my nerves danced under my skin hazardously. I was trying to convince myself there were few reasonable explanations behind the feelings I had. The nonsensical thoughts I could prescribe to spending an enormous amount of time in the same place with Adela; the nerves, however, I couldn’t explain at all.

Bård’s exclaimed “Come in” whooshed me out of my thoughts, and I stepped inside the office with a confidence I didn’t really have deep inside. The moment my gaze landed on his stooped form hovering over a stack of papers, ignoring Adela’s voice in my head suddenly became easier, and all the tension drained away. My breathing slowed down, but my heart was still thrillingly beating against my chest.

I smiled brightly, as I teasingly greeted him, “Hello, professor.”

His head snapped up immediately, and he beamed at me, before returning with the same dose of hidden sarcasm. “Hello, Miss Hateeho.”

I couldn’t stop the chuckle which escaped my lips consequently to his words, and even though it was already a lost cause I still pointed an accusing finger in his direction, sternly ordering, “Don’t.”

He huffed a mock annoyed breath, but swiftly nodded at that. His eyes scanned my face, before locking in a gaze with mine, and he wondered, “You are here for your grade?”

“If you will give it, then yeah,” I mumbled, my hand already on its way to scratch the back of my neck.

He beamed even more, the words rolling of his lips easily, “With all my heart.”

He proceeded riffling through the papers before him, and while observing him, pretending to be offended and hurt, I said, “You are really eager about that. Was I such a bad student?”

“Quite the contrary,” he whispered, that for a moment I thought I wasn’t even meant to hear it. Before I could take my time on pondering over it, he continued, “I am happy to announce your grade is an A, thus making you no longer a student in my course,” he paused, before in his teasing manner saying, “See, I did that less enthusiastically.”

“Hah, I did see that.” I nodded. “Thank you for the enthusiasm of not having me as a student and the lack of one regarding my grade, but I should be going.”

I turned on my heel, and headed for the door, when his voice stopped me, a little too abruptly. “Catherine.”

It almost seemed as a question. When I turned around to look at him, he was splayed in his chair staring intently at me.

“Yes?” I wondered.

“Do you want to go out with me tonight?” he deadpanned, startling me, and I froze on the spot trying to compose myself. I wasn’t sure what gave my initial thought away since I wasn’t capable of keeping track of my expression, but he seemed to catch said thought, since the next moment, he spoke up, “No, not like that. I meant, you are done with the semester, and I thought we’d go out and celebrate you nailing my class, and Norwegian too.”

The last three words seemed like an afterthought, but I ignored that fact. He was flushed crimson.

“Right, of course,” I stammered, feeling the blood prickling in my cheeks as well, probably doing a promising job of making me blush, “You caught me off guard for a moment.”

I was worrying my lower lip between my teeth, trying to ignore the sudden feeling of disappointment, when he quirked an eyebrow at me, asking, “So, that’s a yes?”

I replied with an arched eyebrow as well, before mumbling, “I was referring to the fact I caught what you meant. But, I would love to go out.”

He recovered like a champion, though a blush was still covering his cheeks, as I was sure there was one covering mine. I on the other hand, still had some difficulty breathing.

“Good, I’ll text you the details,” he confidently stated, before adding, “My treat.”

I was about to argue about that, and I could see in his expression he expected just that, but a knock sounded at the door, and he smirked at me in triumph.

“We’ll see about that,” I mumbled threateningly to myself, and turned to leave, “Have a good day.”

“I am sure I will,” his reply came momentarily, and I shook my head at him without looking back, knowing full well he was observing me, before stepping outside the office. I smiled at one of my colleagues as I bypassed him, and from the corner of my eyes I saw him stepping inside Bård’s office, but suddenly I didn’t care about anything else, but the night out with Bård. And, I was scared. Petrified would be a much better description.

***

I ran past the hallway of the house, mumbling a greeting to Adela’s parents, before heading directly for the second floor and almost violently knocking on the door of Adela’s room. A very confused, and sleepy Adela peeked upon opening the door, her hair mused in numerous directions.

“What?” she groggily muttered, sending daggers through her barely open eyes.

“You wanted to tease about your professor Sexy,” I began without hesitation, and I saw an immediate change in her. Instead of scowling at me, she was actually listening what I had to say with the little interest a sleepy person could hold. I wasn’t blaming her. I was happy to have at least that much of it, since a little of Adela’s advices was better than most of which I could give myself at the moment, so knowing I held her interest, I proceeded, “He asked me out. Sort of.” I cringed, thinking I was probably blowing this out of proportion. “And, I don’t know what to wear. I need an expert, ergo you have five minutes to get in my room.” I turned on my heels, and headed for the door of my room, knowing full well that it wouldn’t take her long to follow.

She proved my belief correct, when she walked in my room couple of minutes later. I was pacing around, and she smirked at me, all the reminders of sleep washed from her face. “Oh, you are really hyperactive!” she noted, genuinely amused.

“No, I am not,” I defended myself helplessly.

She rolled her eyes at me, commenting, “You nearly broke down my door but five minutes ago, and now you are boring holes through the floor. I know a hyperactive person, when I see one,” at which point she threw her hand in the air between us, showing her open palm at me to stop me from another attempt at defending myself, and she proceeded, “Now, what did _he_ say?”

“Okay well first,” I hastily began, denoting just how restless I truly was, “he asked if I wanted to go out with him, and I didn’t answer because I freaked out. So, he rushed in to explain he didn’t mean it like that,” I stopped, gulping for breath, before finishing my thought, “and he said it was going to be a celebration only, and nothing more.”

“Wow, you two fools are going to be the end of me,” she exclaimed. “Celebration my ass!”

“No, Adela. He did mean it,” I stated.

“Oh, Jesus give me strength,” she deadpanned, “People from outer space can see how much he likes you, and I am sure even that damn tree in the middle of the university knows you like him, but neither is brave enough to make a move.” She huffed out a breath, gesturing with her hands some thing or other, which I couldn’t really detect. “It is ridiculous,” she finished with a theatrical exclaim.

“You think he likes me?” I mumbled, at which I received a very angry confirmation.

Before I could process any of what she had just said, she was already moving the conversation further, “Did he say where you were going?”

I shook my head. “He said he was going to text me.”

“Good. Go take a shower and I will find some combinations for you to wear,” she nearly ordered, and I obeyed. As much as I feared leaving Adela by the wardrobe, she had good taste and I trusted her to choose something beautiful. I tried not to overthink details to the very last one, and I gave in to the relaxing sensation of the lively streams of hot water falling over me. I left the bathroom reformed, and to my surprise my nerves didn’t begin to flutter again.

Being completely relaxed didn’t last for long, since the feeling morphed into dread when I entered my room and saw Adela hovering over my phone, smirking mischievously.

I asked the first thing which sprang on my mind, “Oh God! What did you do?”

She turned around, surprised to see me, but showing no remorse whatsoever. I was about to repeat my question, when she finally responded, “How little do you think of me? I did nothing.”

“Why is my phone in your hand then?” I blinked repeatedly at her.

She smiled. “You got a text two minutes ago. It was from Bård.”

I closed my eyes, hoping although she had had more than sufficient time, she hadn’t responded with anything. As though she read my mind, she provided, “I didn’t respond anything. I just wanted to see what he texted you.”

“And?” I cocked an eyebrow at her.

“He is taking you to ‘Hos Thea’. It is a _really_ –” she stressed the word, “romantic place.”

At my eye roll, and outstretched hand, she handed me the phone. I checked the message for myself, and was relieved to know I had couple of hours to get ready. I looked up to find Adela grinning at me, and I mumbled, “Weren’t you here for a reason?”

“Yes, clothes,” she said, motioning to the bed, where she had a few combinations splayed already, and she began, “Considering where he is taking you, I can already throw two of these out.” She gathered up a few articles of clothing and threw them in a pile on the bed behind her. Sensing my uneasiness, she commented, “I will sort those out after you leave. _So_ , first you could put on this white dress, with those adorable brown heels you have, and I can totally borrow you my new purse if you want.”

I nodded at her enthusiasm, commenting, “I would think it a great option, but that dress is not exactly the most comfortable thing I have.”

She looked at me with complete disappointment. “You don’t want to wear a dress?”

I shook my head hesitantly, waiting for her to throw a fit. To my surprise she moved on with the next combination.

“How about these,” she began, flashing creamy trousers before my eyes, and proceeded, “With your black heels and this blouse. It is quite elegant and it would fit perfectly, and I could still borrow you my new purse. Please, say yes.”

“Borrowing me your purse means that much to you?” I quirked an eyebrow, and Adela shrugged as a response. I beamed at her, confirming, “Very well. I am wearing that. Thank you for your help.”

“Oh, I am not finished,” she enthusiastically exclaimed, at which I could respond only with a half-confused, half-frightened, “No?!”

She smirked, explaining, “I am fixing your hair and make-up.”

“Fine,” I mumbled, faking a pout.

***

Bård was true to his word, as he showed up to pick me up at the agreed place exactly at quarter past five. If I could say my heart had been rioting with expectation previously, as I desperately attempted to convince myself we weren’t exactly going out on a date and it was _him_ who pointed it out, the moment I saw Bård dressed in a suit and greeting me with a heartwarming smile, all attempts at denying the fact that my heart was trying to leave my body in a desperate thump fell into the water.

I couldn’t even say much, but simply gape. He looked _delectable._ In every possible meaning that said word possesses. I had seen him in a suit at the university – more than on one occasion, but it had never been the complete attire, and it definitely hadn’t been accompanied by a daisy in his hand.

If the words ‘dressed to kill’ were unwitnessed for me by then, I had a live incarnate of them before me at that very moment.

I barely got to return the smile he had addressed, and he was standing before me, already starting a conversation, “Hey,” he twirled the flower between his fingers, proceeding, “this is for you.”

He handed me the flower and I took it with a shy smile, aware of how lucky I was to have make-up on, to cover my face and how flushed my cheeks were rapidly growing to be. He seemed oblivious to my thoughts, since he proceeded, “I am sorry, I had a few smart things to say, but I didn’t expect –” he interrupted himself, closing his mouth, giving me the illusion he wasn’t planning on continuing that thought, so in his teasing style I provided, “Me to be here?”

He chuckled, shaking his head. “You to look –” he trailed off again, so I indulged him, “Like Adela got her hands on me and didn’t let go before dolling me up?”

“I was going to say so incredibly beautiful,” he commented, holding my gaze, and flashing me a bewitching smile, before continuing, “But, I guess that would be the same thing.” There was a moment of silence, and I took one deep breath trying to calm my frantically beating heart, when Bård questioned, “Shall we?”

Untrusting of my voice, I nodded, and when he opened the door of his car for me, giving me his hand for support as I entered, I was certain by the end of the night Bård would be the death of me, as I simply couldn’t ignore the very obvious conclusion that this was indeed a date for him, no matter how he had labeled it earlier that day.

He started the car, and within moments he was straightening on the road. It was then when he asked the question, “So, how did Adela get involved in this?”

I looked at him, grinning. “It was killing you, wasn’t it?” I sardonically wondered, mostly in an attempt to avoid the question or to prolong the necessity of an answer long enough, as to come up with a version which didn’t involve the frantic, discomposed door-pounding.

He furrowed his eyebrows questionably, casting me a brief glance and then averting his gaze back on the road, before murmuring, “What do you mean?”

“Having to wait that long to enquire over the women’s ritual of getting ready, and her best friend making it all possible,” I stated cheerfully.

He attempted a laugh, but as he was aware I knew he was faking it, he scoffed a breath and addressed me, “You dodged my question. I am waiting for an answer.”

I couldn’t help but note to myself anew how spot on he was with that assessment.

“She was in my room when you sent the text. And, since I wasn’t there, she read it,” I informed him, settling for the closest thing to the truth. I wasn’t exactly lying, as it was how it happened, the ungracefully loud banging on a sleeping person’s door excluded. At the expecting hum coming from Bård, I proceeded, “Of course from there it progressed to an interrogation, and she managed to drain every bit of information she wanted to know.”

At that, Bård actually chuckled, and when I glanced in his direction I could see he was absentmindedly nodding as well. A smile crept up my lips involuntarily.

“I think there is a very small number of things which could stop her from getting what she wants,” he mused.

“Like what exactly?” I immediately wondered, before adding, “Because I can’t think of anything.”

“Give me a moment and I will get back with that response,” he simply said.

“Oh, come on!” I exclaimed, forcing my hands not to flail unnecessarily. “Admit it – you can’t think of anything whatsoever.”

“A New Year’s Eve kiss,” Bård suddenly deadpanned.

Well, that was _unexpected_.

“What?” I questioned within seconds – still digesting his words, but before he could repeat himself, I continued, “I think that would make her worse.”

“I think the kiss _on_ her lips would prevent her from speaking,” he pointed out, ever the wiseass.

I closed my eyes, and let the laughter – which had been building up in me – out. I didn’t even care if he would think it weird. I just couldn’t hold it in me anymore.

“There would probably be a short moment of silence, before she would go off as a rocket,” I stated, and Bård chuckled at my words. “And then she would begin to talk about how absolutely _romantic_ that is.” I huffed a breath.

“You sound as though you don’t think it is romantic,” he added in astonishment.

I glanced at him, and after biting on my lip, I stated, “And, you sound surprised.”

“I am,” he confirmed.

“Let me explain then, and you can ditch my notion later as much as you want.”

Bård threw a brief glance in my direction. “I am all ears.”

“I am not throwing the notion away completely. I have the dignity to say that some settings can be very romantic,” I elaborated.

He chuckled, before saying, “Everyone in this country can sense the ‘but’ now.”

Wittily, I snarked, trying to regulate the snideness in my voice, “It is more of a however.”

I grinned at Bård, and he responded with a small smile himself.

“However, most normal people at New Year’s Eve would be highly intoxicated, or stoned. Sometimes it is both, and they’d dance with their partner in a middle of a sweaty, crowded club where they don’t know anyone, including the person they are with,” I paused, contemplating whether it would be smart to say the next bit, but upon glancing at Bård and seeing a smile on his face, there was no way I wasn’t going to provide the whole story, so I continued, “And, then they would kiss at the stroke of midnight, and it is supposed to be this Cinderella-like moment which will be special. A kiss that is supposed to make butterflies flutter in your stomach, or something. Yet, it is everything _but_ perfect. In fact it is this sloppy, wet, disgusting thing which shouldn’t even classify as a kiss, and it happens with an absolute stranger whose name you are not going to remember in the morning, and he will have your puke on his shoes.”

“Wow,” was all Bård said, and then, “I think I just moved three out my best ten moments in life to the worst ones.”

I blinked at him, faking innocence. “Sorry, but you did ask.”

“Nah,” he chuckled, glancing at me as he said, “It was a valid enough point.”

“Also, first kisses on that night is a horrible choice,” the words were out – matter-of-factly – before I could stop them.

Bård looked at me, astonishment entirely detectable in his features. “Why do you say that?” If the question’s aim was to express his outrage, it was a complete success.

“I apologize beforehand if I ruin another moment for you with this,” I paused. “I am giving you a chance to stop me now.”

“Nope,” he articulated on the p, before adding, “I want to know.”

“If you like someone enough to want to kiss them so much, waiting to do it under the pretense of a tradition which shouldn’t be broken is ludicrous.”

“What if they arranged it?” Bård mumbled.

“But why?” I nearly whined, making a sound I would deny until my last breath. “They like or love each other. So, why wait for a cliché moment to make that first move, and why would one couple even plan it. It is something that is supposed to happen spontaneously. I look into his eyes, he looks into mine, and it is all it takes. If that person is special it doesn’t matter where you kiss them for the first time, it matters how you do it.”

I hadn’t even noticed turning towards Bård to face him in my explanations.

“You are a strange person,” he commented, as he stopped the car, before continuing, “But, I love it. And, we are here,” he motioned to something behind me, and I turned to look at the place. He was getting out of the car when I began unbuckling my belt, and within moments I stepped out of the car and joined him.

He was standing at a few feet distance, looking at me with partial disapproval, and I raised an eyebrow in a questioning manner. He provided, “I was going to open the door for you.”

“Another cliché,” I teased, and he gave a look as though I had just ruined his life philosophy. “Ladies are perfectly capable of opening the door for themselves,” I elaborated in defense.

“But it is romantic,” he whispered, and for a moment I thought I saw him blush crimson. I shook off that thought before it could preoccupy my mind, as I tried to provide a retort, but came up empty-handed, so I simply said, “I can’t argue with that.”

We walked inside the restaurant, and I was trying my hardest to maintain my expression under control. The place was nothing short of perfection – wonderful lightning, pleasant atmosphere and a light melody running in the background of the noise. We were escorted to our table, and the waiter joined us almost momentarily to take our order. On my insistence, Bård ordered on my behalf, something he thought I would like, and I didn’t really mind. I didn’t know half of the dishes on the menu, and someone else’s choice could be better than making an educated guess.

“Now that you are done with the university,” Bård began, “What is your general opinion of it?”

“It was a lovely experience. I found everything I was looking for. A getaway from home, a couple of friends,” I stated, addressing him a swift smile, before narrowing my eyes, while adding, “and I bought this really good book on architecture. It was a plus that I met the author as well.”

Bård chuckled. “Now you are just teasing.”

“I am showing you that you are not the only one capable of it,” I mumbled, smirking, before leaning in – supported on my elbows, whispering as though conveying a grand secret, “Also, I am not done with the university.”

“What do you mean?” he questioned, obviously puzzled.

“I was the only transfer that hadn’t taken any course in the language, so they divided the work I needed done in two.” My elaboration was cut short by the arrival of our order, and I waited for the waiter to withdraw before I continued the explanation. “I have to finish that here by the end of March, and then I will be able to go back home and defend my theses.”

Bård nodded, smiling. “So, if you are continuing Norwegian, you will need a tutor again. Am I right?”

“Very observant,” I sardonically noted, before taking a bite from my plate. The bite was barely a moment in my mouth, and I was certain Bård’s order got him a point.

He smirked. “I am nothing but.”

I bit my lip, not sure why, but nevertheless asking, “So, are you offering?”

“I might be,” he confirmed, and suddenly I felt a weight lifted off my shoulders, one I didn’t even know was there. “Are you interested?”

I nodded at his question, affirming, “I am not above taking you up on it, if you are certain.”

“It would be my pleasure,” he replied, and we exchanged a small smile.

We spent a few minutes in silence, indulging in the meal before us, when he looked up at me with furrowed eyebrows. “So, if that is the case, are you going home for the holidays and coming back, or?”

“I will be going home, yes,” I mumbled. “Should be back before February. Not sure when exactly, and it all depends on where my paper stands.”

“Are you having trouble with it?” Bård questioned.

“The usual amount, I suppose.” I shrugged. “I am dreading the spell check. I always hated those, but I will hand in a copy to mum and one to Fred. Mum will do it out of love, and Fred for a prize, but it will be covered.”

“Sounds like a plan,” he murmured.

I arched an eyebrow, smiling. “Nothing I haven’t done before.”

I barely even noticed the waiter was hovering there, the plates picked up, and apparently waiting for our next order. Bård smiled, asking, “What do you want for desert?”

“Surprise me,” I deadpanned, and at Bård’s raised eyebrow, I said, “You did a good job out of the main course, I’d hate to see that talent go to waste.”

He briefly nodded, and ordered, something I paid no attention to, as all I could think – now that we weren’t conversing – was how blue his eyes looked in contrast to his pink lips.

I shook those thoughts away when he looked at me again, trying to convince my mind to keep from wandering in that direction. The melody of a familiar song reached my senses, as the violin strings mapped the music, and I smiled when the glint of recognition in Bård’s eyes told me he knew the song, as well.

Bård got up from his seat, and outstretching his arm, he let his palm rest midair before me. “Would you like to dance?” he asked softly.

Though usually I would have avoided it, my hand moved on its own accord, and I whispered, “I would love to.” Before I knew it, Bård’s protective hand resting on the small of my back was leading me towards the small podium, and I felt more relaxed than I’d felt in years.

He pulled me close the moment the lyrics began, and I felt his soothing, calm voice singing in my ear, “When I am down, and oh my soul so weary,” he kept whispering the lyrics, and I could feel goosebumps raising on my skin.

It was a slow sideway motion we interlaced in our steps, until the chorus started for the second time, and the strength of it was accentuated by Bård’s sudden firm hold on my hand, as he spun me around the floor. I could catch a glimpse of his smiling face each time my eyes would be turned in his direction, and the ease with which he cleared the way for my movements had me realize how good of a dancer he actually was.

I was enjoying dancing again anew after so, so long; until my movement was suddenly cut off as the melody eased down again, and his left hand was resting on my waist offering support, and his face was so close, his lips barely an inch away. His gaze was locked with mine, and I could feel his breath hitching, as his exhale tingled my skin. I breathed in, my eyes darting down to his lips and up again, and I let the air out shakily.

“You are a great dancer,” he commented, setting a distance between us, and I once again found myself gently swaying with him.

I cleared my throat inaudibly, and commented, “I was about to say the same thing about you,” my eyes meeting his once again.

“I have people forcing me to dance for my show,” he mumbled. “What is your excuse?”

“My dad was a dancer,” I whispered, not entirely sure why I was sharing this fact with Bård, but certain he would hear it out. I needed to get it out of my chest, talk about it and I have needed that for years, only now did I find the person I was willing to share all with. I cleared my hoarse throat, and proceeded, “He did it professionally for eight years before he met mum. She wasn’t used to the life of moving around, so he gave up dancing to pursue her.”

The music died away, and we were retreating to our table. The desert was already waiting, and I couldn’t stop the smile which quirked my lips when I saw it was a chocolate cake. When Bård sat down as well, I could see him expectantly looking at me, waiting for the rest of the story.

“So when his little girl was able to walk on her own, he was ecstatic to show her the world of dancing. It began as our time to have fun, and it progressed to us choreographing routines and dancing in front of the family on every holiday, special occasion and so on. When I turned twelve he sat me down and said that if I chose to do it professionally he would support me, and do his best so I could develop my talent.”

“So, did you go ahead with it?” Bård asked, his eyes scanning my face determinately.

“I wasn’t interested in dancing, as much as I was interested in dancing with dad. I told him that, and he hugged me, saying he was proud either way.” I smiled fondly at the memory, and Bård did too. “And, we never brought it up again.”

“Do you think he missed it?” he wondered, before taking a bite from his cake.

“He missed dancing with all his being, but he knew family mattered the most. I think that is why he wasn’t angry or disappointed in my choice. Because, I wanted to keep it in the family.” I was about to say something I would mostly regret, so I was glad I cut the sentence short before it even began, and I smiled at Bård. The smile he flashed me back nearly had me regret not telling him this dance was the first I had danced since dad’s passing. Nevertheless, I looked down to finish my desert.

Despite the wonderful evening I was really hoping to get home as soon as possible, since my thoughts began growing wilder, and more uncontrolled and insistent than ever before. I couldn’t stop my eyes from roaming down to Bård’s lips as they mapped his face, and the moment they would land there the thought of kissing them would flash bright in my mind. And, it scared me because it was not the usual desirous attraction, since I have known him long enough for that initial lust to be already gone, so I was fully aware on how different a level was I finding myself captured. I didn’t want to kiss him as an attractive person, I wanted to kiss him as Bård, and that was starting to make no sense to me – how suddenly it appeared, so I did the only thing I ever knew how, I craved escaping it all.

When Bård parked in front of Adela’s house my mind was racing with confusing thoughts I couldn’t catalogue despite firmest attempts, and my heart was so worked up that it didn’t beat as it was proper. We ended up standing face to face on the pavement, and I was clutching the flower Bård had insisted on me taking, and I found the ability in me to break the silence.

“I had a really nice time,” I whispered, the words followed by a sudden unnecessary silence – which I contributed to the heels-induced pain my feet were in, and then I added, “Though I don’t really recall us mentioning any celebration even remotely related to university.”

“True,” Bård mumbled through a smile. “But, you did say you have Norwegian, and as for my class,” he paused, and I could feel anticipation burning inside of me with the desire to find out what was hidden at the end of that line. “The flower was an apology for my earlier enthusiasm, or lack thereof. I will miss my best student.”

I chuckled, and as though he was waiting my permission for it, he joined in. I looked up at Adela’s window for a second, and when I looked down Bård was way closer than I’d left him, and I felt my feet losing their stability on a completely different level, as my heart stuttered menacingly. And, then he was speaking, and I was trying my best to concentrate on the words instead of zeroing in on his completely kissable lips.

“You know,” he mumbled, his sky blue eyes darker in the nightlight. “I, uhm,” he stammered, as he locked his gaze in mine, “About that kissing thing,” he cut himself off, and he ran his fingers through his hair. “It is kind of weighing on my mind.” He moved closer, I slowly took a step back, my gaze falling on his lips. “So, maybe. I mean, I was thinking… Since it is torturing me.”

He trailed off.

Another step closer, and as I stepped back, I found myself backed up against his car with nowhere to go, as Bård was closing in on me, “I would want it to,” even closer, “stop doing so.”

His body was almost pressed against mine, close enough for me to feel the warmth radiating from his body, and yet far enough for me to be lacking his touch. He leaned in, his hand finding the way to my cheek, and I felt his breath getting warmer, as he grew closer with each new second. My chest tightened in anticipation, my breath becoming shallow. His lips were almost on mine, a ghost of connection, and I was already giving under the soft sensations of his breath, as he gently and slowly moved his palm to the back of my neck.

And, I wanted him to kiss me, and somehow the moment made me realize it was desire cooking in me for months, and yet my hand rested on his chest, pushing him away moments before he managed to seal the kiss. The hurt which flashed through his eyes as he took a step back at my hushed ‘no’ was the same hurt I felt for doing what I did. But, I needed to be entirely sure of what I felt, before I would even allow myself to cross that line.

I had to make sure I knew everything to be known. I wasn’t willing to risk my heart again on losing someone who would be sorely missed, not if I was to lose myself as a consequence. I was barely back on my feet, as it was. And, though pushing him away was painful, to the point of agony mostly when his expression shifted into something closed off and unreadable, it wasn’t nearly as painful as a misunderstanding would have been. Pushing him away carried regret at most – as one couldn’t miss something never had. Kissing him would have been tearing myself to bits. At least, so I thought. So, I _hoped_.

“Catherine,” he attempted, but I moved past him, whispering, “I am sorry Bård. Good night.”

I couldn’t look him in the eyes, as I walked away, not looking back.

I heard his response seconds before I closed the door of the house, and without even considering I moved up the stairs, and into my room. I closed the door behind me, and leaned against it. And, then I was back at the car – Bård there against me, and me almost struggling to breathe, and I wanted it even though I wasn’t there. I wanted it more than before, and I closed my eyes, feeling his breath against my lips, and I was crying.

I knew if I were given another shot at it, I would have kissed him without stopping myself, because as I rested my head against the door of my room, unkissed, I was sure of the one thing I had been trying to sort through for a couple of weeks.

I hurt more because he hurt. That was something I feared unexplainably.

I was in love with Bård Ylvisåker. And, I was past the initial phases. I was in it deep.


	20. Bård: Dream On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have none! Just read it :)

_The unexpected knock on my office door made me look up from the documents, I was arranging, for a split of a second. I wasn’t scheduled to meet with anyone in particular, but I dismissed the thought, since it was no wonder I had someone stopping by, given I was in the middle of my office hours._

_It seemed office hours was something all students waited for, since they seemed to barge in constantly whenever they would get the chance. Some of them used the periods to ask reasonable questions, and others came just to show their face in my office hoping that it would gain them bonus points or positive remarks. It was needless to attempt to comment how wrong they actually were. There was no way they were going to get bonus points whatsoever if they didn’t understand a single word of what they were asking. Which some of them didn’t, to my utter disappointment._

_I lowered my head, shaking those thoughts away, and fixing my gaze back on the paper, before loudly giving the permission needed, “Come on in.”_

_The door opened, but before I could manage to look up and meet my companion’s gaze, I heard a familiar voice greeting me, “Excuse me professor. Am I interrupting? Should I come back?”_

_I tried to ignore the fluttering of my stomach, and how much that voice had become dear to me over the last few months._

_I paused at her words, my entire body growing rigid, thinking bitterly to myself, ‘Professor? I am a professor now, not Bård.’_

_My heart started beating faster right away at the thought of how disheveled I probably was. I could feel my blood coursing through my veins wildly, heading to one particular destination, with the intention of making me blush. It was not longer than a few moments later, and I was certain the outcome was showing, as I silently prayed Catherine didn’t notice anything whatsoever, hoping that if in case she did, she would prescribe it to the huge pile of files on my desk and the mess that my office was._

_“No, not interrupting. Come on in,” I finally voiced out, trying to calm the trembling in my voice to something less noticeable. I cursed – under my breath – the period I had remained silent, most likely gawking at the woman before me, wondering what she was doing at my office door. Catherine seemed oblivious to the debates battling for Troy in my mind, as well as the change in my behavior._

_I sighed silently, as she walked into my office, turning her back towards me while shutting the door. Those ten seconds while I was out of her vision entirely, provided enough time for me to look at her countenance, shamelessly scanning her figure completely._

_She was wearing a dark blue dress which was only reaching slightly above her knees, her back slightly revealed by the opening in the model. My eyebrows furrowed on their own accord at the fact she appeared to be a few inches taller, and my gaze immediately tracked down her shape and settled on her feet. The difference in height I had noticed was easily explained away with the heels she was wearing, dark blue just like her dress. She had a bag thrown over her left shoulder._

_Her hair was let down, pinned only at a single place on the right side._

_I brought my gaze up only seconds before she turned around and looked directly in my eyes, addressing me a swift smile. As I responded with one of my own, I eagerly asked, “Okay, what can I help you with?”_

_She opened her bag, her expression puzzled as her fingers danced inside. When she looked up again her cheeks were flushed. I gave her an encouraging smile, and she took out a notebook and looked at me, while saying, “Do you mind if I,” she cut herself of, as her finger pointed to my left side, right next to me on the same side of the desk._

_It became clear as a day to me that she was insinuating, or rather wondering, if she could pass on my side of the desk. It would prove to be more useful because that way she could follow up on my explanation more easily. Yet, I knew it to be a danger zone, but I couldn’t very well say no to her, now could I? So, I nodded affirmatively in her direction and whispered one tiny, hesitant ‘Sure’._

_She headed towards her destination, by my side, while opening the notebook and looking for the problem, her eyebrows furrowing at her apparent inability to locate it. When, she shuffled closer and was standing right next to me, she exclaimed, “Hah, here it is.” She placed the notebook and therefore the problem on the desk in front of me. Her hand gently landed on the desk next to her notebook, and she leaned in, supporting herself on her palm._

_Since she was standing all too close to me as to disrupt my ability to block out her presence, I could feel myself lost in the heat radiating from her body. I couldn’t really deny her presence once I practically sensed her breath on my skin. Uneven, but calm. Focused. With all the strength I could gather, I chose to ignore it. Ignore everything that was close to making me jump out of my chair and kiss her right then and there. Chose to ignore what her presence was doing to my mind and body. How it controlled me as though it was a toxin designed strictly to elicit such response from me._

_I tried to focus on the question at hand, the one she had placed in front of me, but from the corners of my eyes I was able to observe her moves mostly against my will and blurry at best, as it seemed my mind was set on ruining every bit of self-control left in my body._

_I decided to shake the thoughts away, and instead persistently and irreversibly fixed my gaze on the page. Once I set my focus where it was needed, I could see the difficulty of the problem and I could also see the solution – the way to get to it, at least. But, before doing the solving for her, I put aside the fact she was by far the best student in the class, wanting to make sure whether she had tried to do it by herself._

_“Did you try to solve it?” I asked, glancing at her._

_“A few times – all I got is on the next page. I know that the procedure I am using is correct, I can just see that the number I am getting is in no way correct.”_

_Turning on the following page, I scanned the solution and was quite amazed that she had managed to see that slightly existent distance from the correct answer. I found her mistake in just a few moments, it was more of a mix up rather than lack of knowledge, so I picked up a pen to write it down for her. Knowing she hated scribbles in her notebooks I got a separate piece of paper to write on, but she interrupted the action with the words, “I don’t mind if you write in there too.”_

_I raised my eyebrow quizzically. “Really?” I was questioning if she was being skeptical, or if she was trying to tease me, but when I was met with an extremely serious expression I realized it was none of the above._

_“Yes, really,” she whispered._

_I started writing the left-out details down, and she leaned in closer in order to follow the written better, but what she didn’t predict was my reaction when in the process a strand of her hair left its position and brushed my shoulder, tingling my neck._

_That was it. I couldn’t hold it in anymore and it was then or never. The latter I wasn’t willing to tolerate._

_I left my chair with speed I rarely applied, at which she pushed herself from the desk, stalking a step or two backwards, as I faced her, using the opportunity to lock my gaze in hers. I placed my hands on her cheeks grasping her face tightly and leaned in to kiss her. I couldn’t have anticipated the amount of joy which coursed through my body as our lips sealed together, let alone perceive and describe the feeling. Only aware of how long desired the action was, I realized it was just as electrifying as I thought it would be._

_When I let go of her cheeks and parted our lips with a clearly audible sound in my silent office, she stepped back a little, her eyes a riddle I couldn’t read. I thought the response which would greet me back would be a disciplinary slap. However, proving my prediction wrong, she moved back towards me, and closed the gap between us again, returning the kiss._

_Both of us were moving to the rhythm of our interlocked lips, as the softness of her inviting mouth impeccably drew me closer by the moment, and I was growing more aroused at each sigh and exhale. I clinched her at the waist, as her hands found their way to my back._

_Every move her hands made, every gasp she let out in the open, every warm wet breath we shared struck me within each cell of my body, making me beg for more in silence. My desire for her was unstoppable, and wanting to be with her was beyond a description of any words._

_Slowly, I moved towards the door of my office, leading her there with me, aware I had to make sure it was locked. No way was I letting someone interrupt us despite the time or place, nor was I capable of permitting circumstances in spoiling this intoxicating moment. I almost forgot how firmly I was holding on to her, but my attention was drawn to that particular detail when I had to let go and back her against the door._

_I heard her exhale against the shell my ear in a breathless moan, and involuntarily I shuddered, my entire body covering in goose bumps. I knew I wasn’t better either, when my breathing turned into a string of weak moans. I turned the key into the lock making sure the job was done properly by pulling on the handle. Once I was convinced we were sure not to be interrupted, I could let go of the tension between my shoulder blades. My eyes were dancing over her face, her eyes were closed and her cheeks undeniably flushed. I had to bite the inside of my cheek to suppress a groan. Suddenly, she opened her eyes and fixed them on me, asking through her heavy breathing, “Why did you stop?”_

_The desire with which she asked me that question was liquid gold for my ears. She was in my office. We were alone, our bodies sealed to one another’s. It was everything I ever wanted. I had no idea why I had stopped, so her question remained unanswered. But I did move in for her lip, wanting to kiss her once again._

_However, without my instruction my hands got there before my lips. My thumb was trailing on_ _the edge of her lower lip as the rest of my hand rested lifelessly over her cheek. The moment her lips connected with my thumb, they stirred a reaction of lust through me, taking me by the surprise behind the action. Her hand fell on top of mine as means to grabbing ahold of mine and moments later she laid another kiss on the palm of my hand. Her other hand was lying flat on my back mapping out my body, before finding a rest on the small of my back and she pulled me closer to her body, bringing her lips against my ear and whispering, “You shouldn’t have stopped.”_

_She withdrew halfway and our lips met again, beginning an even deeper and more tantalizing kiss, which carried all the sloppiness and mystery of first kisses. It was polished with all the unfamiliarity nobody ever wanted lost, thus making me desire it as a constancy in my life. She gasped in the kiss, and I took the opportunity to ask for permission to invade her mouth, and as my tongue was allowed to explore her mouth and my hands were already set on the task of exploring her body, I knew I was making sure her breaths fastened their pace significantly._

_Her grip on me kept shifting, but also grew tighter with every new moment, until I felt pain on my back from the very intensity with which she held me. I skipped on her lips with a soft groan, and locking her gaze in mine, I whispered, “Are you trying to bruise me? Because there are easier and more visible ways to mark.”_

_She gave me an unamused glare, and if I were to be honest, said gaze was deserved thanks to my last remark. That was enough of a distraction, and even though it took her a while to realize the intensity of her grasp, as soon as she did she loosened it up a bit, with a mumbled apology. Her cheeks tinted bright pink, and I smirked._

_I dipped down to trail kisses against her craned neck, and since I was far too aroused to continue the shy foreplay we’d settled upon, I took a drastic action in placing my hands on her hips under her dress and picking her up from the ground, forcing her to wrap her legs around my waist. She complied with the same enthusiasm with which I had made the invitation._

_My hands moved to touch her skin, so desired a price as to make me unable to contain my advantage for more than a few brief moments. I began nipping on her collarbone, intending to leave a visible mark there, never – in the slightest – expecting Kate to make the next move. I was proven completely wrong when her hands left the few strands of hair they had been entangled in and started unbuttoning my shirt. I wasn’t planning on addressing a complaint. I could hear her every breath against my neck, each exhale I detected on my skin and every moan sent a vibe through my body. Forbidden fruit always was the best and she was nothing but forbidden._

_I let go of her once she finished unbuttoning my shirt and gently put her down, allowing her to take it off of me. Slowly she did just that, her hands moving along my skin as she was taking her time in sliding it of my shoulders and arms, not paying it attention as the shirt was brushed off my body. As the shirt descended on the ground, Kate began kissing my neck with roaming hands over my entire body, converting every clear thought into undeniable consideration of my arousal._

_As though we were connected, the craving for more enveloped us both and we could feel it in the strength with which we held on to each other. I recognized the feeling in her, and by the look she was giving me, I was certain she could see it in me as well._

_The clothes started piling on the floor quickly as we disrobed with enthusiasm, until we found each other stark naked in the middle of my office. Our gazes met for a moment, before I picked her up once again and our thighs interlocked, the nakedness of which added to the thrill. I moved towards the sofa, a piece of furniture which I usually hated to see in my office and which was quickly earning, its long desired, bonus points._

_Refusing to even begin to imagine the consequences of being caught, I caged her body with mine, finding settlement when she parted her thighs to welcome me. Her breathing was hitching, growing more labored. Her hands were playing in my hair, drawing circles on my scalp and she pulled me down to seal our lips in a kiss._

_I wanted the kiss to last a long while, but I was feeling the eeriness of an unprompted question, so I broke it off, bringing my lips against her ear, and asking, “Are you sure you want me to go on with this?”_

_There was no doubt in the fiber of my being I wanted her entirely surrendered at the very moment, but I simply had to make sure she was truly there. The desire which burned in me would have been difficult to fight off, but is she chose so, I was more than willing to stop._

_Only, I wanted her to believe we should take that step further._

 

“Bård, Bård! Hey!” were the words spoken, which broke through to my consciousness.

My brother’s voice was slowly, but surely drawing me away from my dream, which in the state of dazed confusion made me curse. I wanted so desperately to hold on to the dream, as it was without doubt the best I’ve had in quite a while, and most definitely one I would wish to turn into a reality.

The persistence of my brother called me out of the sweet slumber, nevertheless, and once I was able to open my eyes for long enough to realize where I was, and grasped on the fact the last time I had such a dream so vividly, I was practically a teenager, I cursed again for an entirely different reason.

Groaning in the process, I reluctantly picked myself up from the bed, glaring at my brother once I was up-righted. I didn’t wish for it to sound like a snarl, but when I spoke it was hardly anything else, “What do you want?”

My brother had an amused smile dancing on his lips accompanied with an amused expression on his smug face, and I didn’t want to think about the boner I was spotting at the time, so I arched an eyebrow at him and luckily he spared any comments on the matter. I could only hope it would be of lasting duration.

“Dinner is almost ready. Everyone is waiting for you to get down,” he mumbled.

I ran a hand over my face, realizing how better it would be if I were anywhere but at my parent’s house for a Christmas dinner, and most likely to be interrogated if anything slipped past Vegard, either intentionally or accidently.

My brother was making his way out the room, and I sighed in relief, only to do it too soon since as he was at the door he teasingly sang through his words, “Might wanna take a cold shower first.”

The groan which left my lips was followed by a snarl, “Get out.” As per fashion, the reply I got was a sassy smirk and a scoff. It was, however, better than the occasional outright laughter of lunatics on Vegard’s menu. I resisted throwing a pillow at him.

I got up to get sorted, praying that at least this once the family would be able to look over the lack of private life I had, and leave that conversation for a time when I wouldn’t be so obviously mopping over someone.

Shaking my head to the obvious upcoming disappointment, knowing Vegard would definitely bring the subject up to mess with me, I dug through my suitcase in search of a good shirt and a pair of proper trousers. Once I fished them out of the pile, leaving a mess behind, I noted to myself to sort the clothes into the wardrobe after dinner. Grabbing my phone I reluctantly headed for the door. Throwing a longing glance towards the bed, the warmth of which was very inviting at the time, I opened the door and headed downstairs.

Just as Vegard had mentioned, my family was piled up downstairs, Matthew and Jane rummaging through the pile of gifts under the three, most likely searching out their own.

When my mum’s eyes landed on me, in my – most likely – disheveled state, she asked, “Did you sleep well, honey?”

I didn’t register the question quickly enough to reply on time.

“I would bet,” Vegard mumbled out immediately, eyes fixed on me and a well hidden smirk on his lips.

I sent him a humorless glare before answering mum’s question, “Ja, Mama.”

“Oh, for the love of Pete. Let’s sit down at the table before she starts hugging you all again,” dad intercepted from somewhere in the kitchen, drawing in a few chuckles from everyone expect mum, who headed to the kitchen, an intention to bicker obvious in her stance. I was partially glad I was saved that hug, since it was almost always the beginning of questions about how I have been, anything new or interesting in my life, and eventually the unavoidable question, ‘So what about a gal.’

Using the escape dad provided for me, I snuck out to the living room to locate my bag of gifts and leave them under the tree. When Matthew and Jane saw it however, they took control over it and decided to help me place my gifts in a decorative way, whatever those words meant. Jane, without doubt, was the lead on the job, and Matthew and I had to follow direct orders, which meant us ending up bossily corrected every few seconds. At least, I was smiling, and had completely forgotten about the upcoming dinner, until Vegard peeked in the room briefly, saying, “Okay, you three kids,” he pointed out, sending me a smile. “Dinner is ready, and we are all sitting down. Come on.”

With a little pouting from Jane, we managed to head for the dining room. Dinner was set, and the very second we sat down, everyone unceremoniously reached out for one dish. It was the one good thing about my family, I didn’t have to wait my turn. But, my appetite wasn’t particularly present and I ended up trying, and failing for the most part, to fake one. Given the amount I normally ate, it wasn’t unusual for mum to take notice.

She waited until dinner came close to the very end, to ask, “What is happening with you that you didn’t eat anything?”

“I am not hungry,” I croaked out.

“That is a new development,” dad spoke up, before I could get another word out. “Did you eat upstairs before you got down?”

I knew dad was joking and I knew that was the reason the entire table was laughing, but the lump in my throat didn’t allow me to say anything but a single, “No,” and even that sounded defeated, whilst simultaneously angry.

Mum cast me a glance, which spoke she knew something was off, and I averted my eyes hoping it would be enough so that she didn’t ask. Even if her intention was to do so, Vegard didn’t leave me out with an opening.

To the whole room, he declared, “He is missing his girlfriend and his appetite and mind are not entirely present.”

I tried sending him a few daggers to stop him, but he didn’t seem to care.

“A girlfriend?” mum exclaimed, clearly enthusiastic, “Well, why didn’t you bring her over?”

“She is _not_ my girlfriend,” I gritted through clenched teeth, unable to believe Vegard said _it_ despite everything.

He didn’t seem to hold a care in the world, once again, and he said, “She had to go home.”

“Oh, that’s a shame,” dad joined the conversation. “What’s her name?”

“I don’t have a girlfriend,” I said, trying to have the subject dropped, but at the same time Jane decided to interrupt us by announcing Catherine’s full name.

And, from there the table erupted in chatter. My mother was asking why Jane knew of the matter before she was told, dad was congratulating me, Bjarte was mumbling inappropriate jokes – in this instance commenting on how considering her last name we were really meant to be – which usually earned him disapproval from mum, Mary was smiling fondly and Vegard used the opportunity to drive me to the very edge, “So, when are you going to kiss her?”

The entire table went silent, everyone turning towards me, and the expectation morphed in their gazes was beyond annoying. Fixing Vegard with a glare, I didn’t try to hide the bitterness as I replied, “I tried. She pushed me away.”

Grasping the napkin, I wiped my mouth and placed it back on the table, and using the silence which had set in the room as a consequence to my last declaration, I left my seat with the words, “Now if we are done here, I am going to bed.”

I didn’t even pay attention whether anyone tried to call after me, as I stormed up the stairs and into the room, feeling worse than I had felt in days.

Locking the door behind me, I leaned against it to try and gather up my feelings. I hated how easily I was brought to the verge of tears, and if possible it was what made me feel even worse. I changed back into my pajamas, and crawled under the covers with my phone in my hand. Setting the alarm, I didn’t want to reach out and place it on the nightstand, so I shoved it under the pillow and tucked myself in, throwing the duvet over my head.

I groaned against my pillow as a way of diminishing the misery I felt, but that attempt was incredibly unsuccessful, so I tried it once more. And, still nothing.

I tried falling asleep, turning and twisting in my bed, and I even tried counting sheep in reminder of the good old times when that actually did the job, but nothing seemed to work. I wasn’t itchy and my skin wasn’t crawling, so the problem was mostly in the racing of my mind. I turned around, and let my gaze wonder out the window, thinking that might help. The night sky was beautiful and I let the weight of the day fall over my eyelids, and slowly I closed my eyes. The thought I missed the opening of the presents was the last coherence I managed, before I blacked out.

I woke up when a soft knock came from the way of the door. Groaning, I sat up and leaned on the headboard, lulling my head over it and against the wall.

 “Come in,” I called out, my voice a tad too hoarse. It wasn’t much of a surprise considering how hung-over I felt.

At first I thought however was behind the door, couldn’t come in, since I had locked it the night before; but then I remembered waking up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and recalled leaving the door unlocked.

The door cracked open only slightly, and Vegard’s curls poked inside.

Unable to help it, I raised a questioning eyebrow at him, and prompted him inside with a jerky twitch of my right hand. He stepped inside slowly, closing the door behind him.

He stalked forward, pulling up a chair and flopping down on it. “I wanted to apologize about last night. I was being a baggadicks, was it the term?”

I laughed, faced with Vegard using a term we used as teenagers, due to a misapprehension of a slip up of mine with the TV’s program.

“Yes, I believe it was,” I confirmed.

“I am really sorry, Bård,” he provided once more. “I overstepped, and I shouldn’t have.”

I smiled as best as I could manage, but it was considerably weak. “It’s okay. No hard feelings.”

Vegard seemed hesitant to continue, but nevertheless, he did voice out his next question. “Do you want to talk about what happened with Catherine?”

“Nothing particular to talk about, really.” I paused, unsure how to proceed. “We went out to a restaurant, and we talked about anything and everything. There was dancing involved at a certain point during the evening. And, when I dropped her off, and I figured –”

Despite remaining unsaid, Vegard seemed to get my meaning, so I simply skipped that bit.

“I leaned in, but before I could, she pushed me away and with an apology left me standing there.” Gulping air around the lump in my throat, I informed my brother, “It was pretty bad.”

“Did you talk to her later on?”

Shrugging, I said, “It was the last time I saw her.”

“Hell, maybe it’s for the better.” Vegard’s tone of voice stated just how little he, himself, believed the said.

I huffed, but offered no words to continue our conversation. With a nod, he got up from his seat, and a thought came to me at that moment, so I rushed to stop him.

I launched from my position to sit at the edge of the bed, as I half-exclaimed, half-hissed, “Wait!”

Vegard’s brows furrowed, but he sat back down.

“Yes?” he murmured, a confirmation I had his undivided attention once more.

Breaching the subject after so long attempting avoidance felt unfamiliar, so it turned out the easiest way to do so was by blurting, “It’s about Maya.”

Vegard scowled. “What about her?”

Supporting my elbows on my knees, I clasped my hands together and lowered my head over them, in an attempt to ease the tension in my shoulders. I began, “I know the reason why you keep opening that topic is your belief that I’ve hidden something from you regarding it.”

“Bård,” Vegard attempted pleadingly, but I shook my head, and he promptly sealed his lips shut.

“And, you are right,” I provided next, looking up to catch my brother’s gaze, finally admitting, “I have not been completely honest.”

Vegard’s expression showed exactly how little he was surprised by the fact.

My lips quirked against my own volition. “I don’t know how to go about this.”

My brother made an inquiry. “I figured since you approached the matter, you’d already planned it out?”

“I didn’t exactly,” I retorted, “The irony is, it was Kate who told me to be open with you.”

Vegard’s surprise at that was evident. “She knows about Maya?”

I nodded briefly. “I might have taken her to the cabin awhile back, and told her about it.”

“We will get back to that point later.” He smirked at me knowingly, before returning to the previous topic with, “Now what was it about Maya you wanted to tell me?”

“What I hid wasn’t exactly –” I cut myself off. Instead, “I did stop feeling so for Maya rather soon after our break up. The way she broke up with me made me realize I could never go back to her, no matter what.”

“Than what was the problem?” Vegard insisted, when I kept silent for over a minute.

In a whisper, I provided, “You.”

“Me?” Vegard shrieked in surprise, rearing back.

“I didn’t grieve after Maya, I was disappointed over the fact I was stupid enough to let it affect our relationship.”

Vegard’s voice was full of astonishment, “So, you let the guilt gnaw at you and cast a shadow over what was left?”

Admitting it both to myself and my brother, I stated, “Quite so.”

The shy smile of reassurance which ghosted over my brother’s lips informed me he already had a way of fixing it, if it was not already fixed.

“That was dumb, but you are known for doing dumb stuff.” I tried arguing, but he beat me to the punch, asking, “So, a trip to the cabin, eh?”

***

I didn’t even bother to open my eyes, as I tried to sense the phone under my fingers. The buzzing made me curse I actually set an alarm the previous night, but once I had the device in my hand the buzzing stopped. I wasn’t expecting it to stop so soon, so I cracked an eye open only to see I had a text message. Both my eyes snapped open, ignoring the inconvenience of the daylight, when I noticed the name following the message.

_Did you send the tree yet? God jul!_ _J_

My eyebrows furrowed, as my mind tried to fight away the sleep-addled state in which I was and figure out what tree was actually referenced. I was about to give up and text asking what was she referring to when I realized she was talking about the Trafalgar Square Christmas tree, and was clearly joking about it as well.

_A month ago, yes! Merry Christmas, Kate!_

The message somehow made me feel better. I closed my eyes, and when another message unexpectedly buzzed, I scrambled to grab the phone immediately.

_Took you a while to get it, didn’t it?_

I couldn’t believe she managed to predict that, but I was feeling defensive.

_I just woke up_ _L_ _Sue me_

I held the phone until another message buzzed.

_I wouldn’t have ground rules for a lawsuit. (Yes, that was sarcasm)_

I began laughing, completely unaware of the message which followed that, until my gaze landed on the enlightened screen and I read out, _At Trafalgar with Fred. I miss Norway._

My fingers were halfway through typing ‘I miss you’ when I stopped myself, and instead sent, _Not as much as you would miss your family if you were here._

The response was immediate, _Valid point. Have a nice day, Bård._

_You too._ After the text I fell down on the pile of pillows again, the day already seeming an improvement from the previous one, and I was willing to put aside the kissing fiasco for long enough to embrace how good I felt at the moment. The loud grumbling in my stomach made me realize that maybe it was time to get out of bed.

***

From there my days consisted of spending the mornings in bed, lazily getting up only to spend the rest of it on the sofa staring at the screen of my laptop while working or the screen of the TV, catching some movie or show. The first diversity I got was the occasional message from Vegard, which at the beginning aimed to apologize and lately only to annoy. The other was Catherine, and the texts which we kept exchanging.

The conversation was as interesting as usual, with the existence of a certain unspoken rule. Ironically, it was a rule about remaining silent on certain topics. We went on a date, as lame as the excuse I provided to cover for it, and we never talked about it. We almost kissed and we never talked about it. And, instead of it bothering me, I found it refreshingly new. What bothered me was I didn’t know where I stood, which was something that had never happened to me before and the very novelty of it all, had me at a disadvantage.

I was slouching on the sofa one day, my eyelids half closed and my entire body exhausted, torn between reality and sleep, when the phone buzzed on the table. I didn’t want to get up so I decided to ignore it, but since I had nothing better to do at the time and curiosity was always my weak spot, it took no more than a couple of minutes before I was moving in attempts to grab the phone.

_Stop lying around and get to work. You have a paper to publish._

For a moment I though the message was from Vegard, so I had to double-check to make sure it was Catherine. Smirking, I typed in a reply. _I am working, thank you very much!_

Mere moments later my phone buzzed with the reply. _Were you really? Why do I find that hard to believe?_

Scrunching my nose, I shook my head and texted back. _I might have been lying around. How did you know?_

The response came within moments. _I didn’t know. I had an idea though. How are you passing the time?_

_Forcing myself to get out of bed is the main activity most of the time. What about you?_ The aim of the text was more to amuse than to confess to the truth, which it also did. In a way.

I laid back down, throwing my feet over a pillow and fixed my eyes on the screen when a message notification came in. _Trying to gain weight, are you? I am working on the presentation for the dissertation._

_Ha, ha! Is this a way of telling me I am too fat? How is the dissertation going?_ I replied, hastily pressing send, which made me wince. If I had thought it through, I would have probably deleted the first question. I was certain I would have done it.

Cursing myself, I stared at the phone, waiting a text from Catherine. When nothing came within five minutes, I childishly began to wonder whether my words caused an insult. When after another five minutes a message didn’t come through, I gave up on receiving a response, but my nerves wouldn’t settle in. Pacing helped for a while, but when that didn’t work I had to find something else. The show on the TV was no longer spiking my interest as it did at first, so I decided to follow up on Catherine’s advice and work.

I fired up my laptop and opened the paper I was working on, going through the last paragraphs before continuing. Surprisingly, work progressed much faster than it usually did. I was almost through with an entire page when my phone buzzed with a message and I perked up, realizing I forgot it was actually anxiety which had me begin working in the first place. Finishing the sentence I was in the middle of writing, I got up to get my phone from the sofa where I had left it upon getting up. Though I didn’t know, I was secretly hoping the message was from Catherine and my heart was fluttering as though I was a teenager.

Pleased to discover it was indeed from her, I immediately opened it. _I am sorry I ran off, but mum needed help with something. The dissertation is fine, which means it is unfinished, unpolished and I have low hopes for its success at the moment. P.S. It is a crime to use fat and yourself in a line with positive connotation. Now there I have ground rules to work with_ _J_

Shaking my head, I returned, _I’d hate it if you sued, so I will restrain myself from crossing the line. Also, I am sure your work is neither of those things. Would you like me to look over it?_

The message which followed had me smiling. _If I say yes, is it going to appear as though I’ve texted you for the sole purpose of leading you into offering help?_

I mused to myself how the message suited her personality perfectly. It was the very reserve and shyness, the anxiety and hesitation, all in one. And, it was what made her so special. For the first time since I met her, I got to thinking I actually ended up liking a woman whose personality was entirely opposite of the one my ex had. Maya had been anything but reserved, never hesitant when talking to people. It was as though I needed the change without being entirely aware of it. As confusing as that realization was, I embraced it.

Realizing I had been immersed in silly thoughts for a few minutes, I texted right back, not wanting to keep her waiting. _I am not a child to be led into such a thing. And, of course not. Mail me the document and I will go through it and write suggestions. Sounds good?_

By the time the next message buzzed, I was biting my lip. _Sounds great actually. I think I will have to take you out for a cup of coffee and cake when I get back to say thanks._

Even though I wanted to text ‘That could be arranged’, I settled on writing, _Now that is all the bribe I need. I’d love to keep chatting, but I think you might have cursed me into inspiration since I ended up writing a page over the last half hour. So, I am going to get back to that and see what I can make work. Sorry._

Despite the fact I didn’t want my words to sound as though I was ditching the conversation, they still ended up sounding like as such. Catherine didn’t seem to mind though. _Don’t apologize. I am glad I managed to spark something in that rusty brain of yours. Good luck with work. Thanks for your offer. Have a lovely day._

Hastily, I typed my reply. _Have a lovely day as well. I am warning you, we will be discussing the point where you insulted my brain seriously._

When no response came, I dropped the phone down beside me on the table, and turned towards my computer. I ended up working for the rest of the day, which I had to cut short at midnight in order to get some sleep. I saved my progress, which despite my skepticism, was considerate and headed off on the second floor. Dropping the phone on the nightstand, I dug a new set of clothes from the wardrobe and moved towards the bathroom to shower.

Afterwards, I ended up falling asleep within minutes. I didn’t even remember sleep overpowering me, but I knew it was consequence to the mental exhaustion. I had no recollection of the dreams that night, but I knew they were undisturbed, which was new. I almost always ended up waking at least once during the night.

When I woke up I grabbed my phone to check the time, only to find a message from Kate. _Good morning. Hope you had a productive day yesterday. If inspiration is still there, don’t waste it on the couch._

Scrambling from under the covers to sit upright, I smirked at the device mischievously, already forming my reply.


	21. Catherine: We’ll Meet Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kate is back in Norway!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A whole day of grammar checking, and I am sure I've missed something! So, please kindly ignore or point mistakes out :) 
> 
> I hope you have a nice read!

My suitcase was packed and ready three days before my flight was due. I was anxious and eager to go back, to say the least. It didn’t help that I kept being reminded of Bård, either thanks to mum’s questions or his texts, though that last was marginally my fault. The last few days at the house were spent with a lot of fidgeting, mumbling and blushing, and I hated the feeling of a hormonal teenager the entire situation entailed.

It was when I decided to go book the flight, when Fred finally spoke to mum about going to Norway with me. Despite the obvious opposition from her side, he kept insisting it would be only for a few days before my semester begins and after promising he’d behave, mother gave up trying to change Fred’s mind. She kept regretting the decision though, mentioning I should ask Adela if it would be okay for me to bring my brother as well more than a few times. I think, mum secretly hoped Adela would say no and save her the loneliness, but just as I expected Adela was more delighted than I was to have him there. Being an only child, I assume Adela wasn’t aware the menace a young, energetic younger brother could occasionally be.

So, instead of one ticket, we ended up with two, and Fred was tailing me all over the house asking what he should pack. Mum seemed beyond mildly affected, so I kept reminding her it was only a couple of days, and Fred would be home sooner than she would anticipate. I tried convincing her that a few days for complete quietness and relaxation in the house might do her good, but it seemed every time I tried as much as bringing the whole affair up, her scowl would inform me how wrong my beliefs were. So, I decided to keep quiet.

As though overcompensating for my silence, Fred couldn’t get Norway out of his mind from the morning to the very end of the day, and consequently every second word coming out of his mouth was either a question about the trip or expectation regarding his time in Norway. I knew – from my mother’s lost expression – if the ticket were refundable, Fred would have wound up locked in his room days ago. Either way, the combination of my worried mother, my hyperactive little brother and my worried self, turned out to be not so horrid after all.

***

The first call I received when landing in Norway was from mum. It was basically only seconds after I turned on my phone, that it rang. Like she had been restricting herself from calling, and finally gave up under the pressure, and I knew that was the case, despite the firm denial she normally gave. I couldn’t ignore the call, so placing a hand on Fred’s back to make sure he was next to me at all times, I answered with, “Hey.”

“Why didn’t you call?” she immediately asked.

Trying not to roll my eyes in my brother’s presence, I replied, “We just landed, mum. I was about to call.”

The second I stopped speaking, she asked another question, “How was the flight?”

“It was good,” I reassured, as I could hear the worry in her voice. “Fred slept through most of it. I used the time to read.”

“So, are you still at the airport?”

“Yes, mum. As soon as we get the luggage and check out, we are going to get a cab to Adela’s,” I mumbled, remembering the affair which happened the first time I hailed a cab form the airport. Thankfully, I now knew the city enough to go around without getting lost with a map in my hands. Mum still didn’t know the story, mainly because I thought she wasn’t going to find it as interesting as other people did, especially if I included the drunk presence of Bård in there.

My thoughts had completely drifted away from the conversation, until I heard mum say, “Okay then. Call me when you get there.”

“Okay mum. Bye.”

I dropped the phone back in my pocket after disconnecting the call, and turned to Fred saying, “Let’s get this over with and go to the house and sleep, shall we?”

I didn’t need his response to know he was completely on board with that plan.

***

For the first time since I could remember, Adela bothered waiting for a reply before stepping inside the room. Even after being given the go ahead, she slowly peeked inside, as she cracked the door open, and asked, “Can I?”

I nodded as a response, since neither I nor Fred seemed to have anything interesting to do. I was immersed in my doctorate dissertation for the better half of the last hour. He was focusing on some game, the name of which I didn’t even bother to pick up.

Adela then walked in, her normal demeanor accompanying her. She glanced at me, as though silently asking for approval, and before I could even think about what she might have planned, she was asking, “Are you free to go out to the shopping center for a movie of your choice and a lunch somewhere?”

If I were given a chance and was alone in the decision, I might have protested mostly since I still needed a few details sorted over on the page I was working on, but Fred was on his feet enthusiastically hugging Adela for the suggestion, so I couldn’t find it in me to deny him a day out, especially since it was exactly what he had been hoping on when he had planned the trip.

So, I dropped the stack of papers on the bed and resigned myself with the decision made without any authorization from me whatsoever. I didn’t mind though, since I could use some fresh air as well, and it would be unfair of me to pass on the chance, particularly since I would still have time to work when Fred wasn’t there.

Getting ready was much more effective than I would have anticipated, since the headache which had been lying dormant in my head had eased. Suddenly, I was glad for Adela’s suggestion. Fred’s enthusiasm and smile, made the idea all that better.

Within half hour we were already storming through the main door of the shopping center. Fred and Adela were conspiring against me in the choice of movie, and as much as I hated their decision, I didn’t argue mostly because the day wasn’t about me as much as it was about Fred. I could even watch an already seen movie if it suited my brother, and I would be happy about it.

The first moment Fred was out of our earshot, I addressed Adela, “You do realize spoiling him will make him want to stay more, right?”

“Then he could stay more,” she replied, smiling fondly at me, but then I realized what she had just said, and I scanned around us to see if Fred might have heard. I was glad to realize he wasn’t paying attention to anything we talked about, as he kept walking before us, so I whispered, “Please don’t hear him say that. I would love for him to stay, but mum is –”

Before I could finish my sentence, Adela had a hand raised midair, and said, “I understand. My lips are sealed.”

“Thanks,” I mumbled, averting my gaze to locate Fred and feeling a shot of panic course through my body as I didn’t manage to locate him. In the anxious state, my hand grasped Adela’s wrist, as I gritted out, “Where did he go?”

“I don’t know. I can’t see him,” she replied, sounding equally worried, tiptoeing as she scanned the crowd ahead as well.

We both picked up the pace, moving in between the groups of people everywhere, as I cursed myself for letting Fred out of my reach. Not even trying to obscure my frantic breathing, I cursed under my breath louder – drawing a few judging gazes my way, as I was trying and mostly failing to cover it up with a cough. Adela, however, didn’t comment and silently followed by my side. I was on the verge of a panic attack when I spotted my brother’s head from in between few people, and hurried in his direction before I could lose him again.

I almost let out a relieved breath when I immerged from the crowd and there was nothing separating me from Fred. That was until I noticed him standing there with none other but Bård, and suddenly I was panicking for a completely different reason.

“Har du tapt?” I distinctly heard Bård ask, as I approached closer without his noticing it, his focus dedicated solely to my brother. I didn’t want to comment on how I always happened to meet up with him in the most unexpected places at the most unexpected time. Fred, logically, remained silent since he couldn’t understand Bård and somehow they kept staring at each other in a way which would have been cute, if it weren’t for the fact I had just lost my brother in a foreign land and the part where my heart was racing, first because I had lost Fred on the first attempt of going out and then because I was about to face Bård for the first time after the almost kiss.

Adela and I approached silently, and a sideways glace at Adela had me realize how interesting she found the entire situation. I tried not to scowl at her. Bård was about to voice something else out, but I interrupted him, trying to ignore the flutter of my heart when his head snapped up to meet my gaze at the very first syllable. “As much as you try, I doubt his _proficient-in-Norwegian_ older sister had time to teach him any Norwegian during the holidays.”

Bård beamed at me, as he up righted himself, and greeted us, “Hello, Kate.” He then turned towards Adela, saying, “Adela, it is a pleasure to see you again.”

“Likewise,” she chimed, before adding, “You saved us from looking for this dashing guy everywhere.”

My heart was pounding and I tried my best to prevent myself from blushing, something I was certain grew into a failure. Attempting to interrupt any type of conversation which was bound to ensue, I said, “Fred, this is Bård. Bård, this is my brother Fred.”

My gestures were entirely wild as they shook hands, so I tried to obscure my fidgeting hands by shoving them in my pockets. That partially worked, until Adela decided to play a good Samaritan and fix something up, in her normal mischievous nature.

“Now that everyone is introduced, I have a question,” she announced, leveling Bård with her asserting gaze, which I was certain he knew the horridness of, based only from the expression he was spotting. A smile curved at the ends of my lips as he tried to remain immobile, so hoping it go unnoticed I bit my lip and ducked my head to hide the grin I couldn’t prevent.

“Are you busy now?” Adela wondered, and that had me snapping out of any pleasant thoughts I had. I was going to blurt something out to stop Bård from replying, but it was too late, since only seconds later he provided with a half-confused, half-intrigued, “No, I am not?”

“Would you by any chance be into watching a movie with us?” she enquired, not giving up, shifting her gaze between me and Bård, who oddly enough didn’t look at me at all from the beginning of the conversation. She didn’t wait for a response before she added, “I am Fred’s date for the day, but Kate’s the third wheel. So, maybe you’d be okay with chaperoning her.”

I would have complained about the choice of words which made me sound like a teenager if I didn’t think Bård would take it the wrong way. I was fairly certain it was Adela’s way of payback for not sharing the events from the undefined first date I had with Bård, and even though she was aware just how bad I had felt then, she seemed confident enough in herself now to use the immediate material in producing a suitable situation. Normally, I would have appreciated her trying, but I feared Bård’s reply or the lack of it, since he remained riveted and silent for more than a few moments.

I was fairly convinced he was trying to think of a way to escape the situation, but then he turned towards me and asked, “Is it okay with you?”

Incapable to produce words, I simply nodded my confirmation, already planning a suitable revenge for Adela. She didn’t even know what she had coming.

“Great,” she cheerfully produced, grabbing my brother under the arm and dragging him towards the cinema, not sparing a single glance towards us.

Once left alone, I smiled at Bård, whispering, “Hey.”

“Hey,” he responded. “How have you been?”

Averting my gaze towards direction in which Fred and Adela disappeared, I began following and Bård joined by my side. Not sure what answer to provide exactly, I mumbled, “Busy. What about you?”

“In between family, and your enigmatic texts,” he began, and suddenly all the tension and awkwardness seemed to dissipate in the air, “I have been irritably unemployed.”

“I am not going to hear the end of the Christmas tree, am I?” I squinted my eyes at him, allowing a smile to break on my face.

“No,” he deadpanned. “It is blackmail material.”

I huffed out a breath, mumbling, “Yeah, right. Good luck with that.”

“Don’t push me, or I will,” he replied.

When we stopped before the cinema, Adela and Fred already had tickets, but only two. Quirking an eyebrow towards Adela, I asked, “What happened with you saying I had to watch this movie?”

Adela smirked, and I was feeling the inclination to wipe it off her face with the lowest blow I could think of, but then she was talking and as always her charm was getting the better of me. “I was forcing you when you had nobody to keep you company if you made a different pick. Now you have company, so I only know Fred and I are seeing this one.”

I squinted my eyes at her, judgingly. She didn’t blink an eye.

“You are infuriating,” I stated, allowing the irritation in my voice to show. I turned to Bård, asking, “What do you want to watch?”

“Anything is fine,” he replied, his gaze strangely set on Fred.

We ended up buying tickets for the same movie, and I completely ignored the knowing glance Adela secretly directed to me. It was as though she knew how flustered I felt and how much of a debate I had going on in my head. It was a battle between wanting the day to be over and actually wanting to prolong it. It was so strange not knowing what I wanted, and even though Fred had no problem with Bård being there, I felt confused and even the feeling was something I wasn’t able to explain to myself.

At Fred’s insistence and Bård’s unbelievably convincing support, both of them ended up buying a bag of popcorn and cola, smiling like little children as we lined up to enter. Taking a moment when Adela was in deep conversation with Fred and wasn’t paying attention to me, I leaned in towards Bård and whispered, “You are worse than a teenager.”

His smirk grew wider. “I have my moments.”

It was the last exchanged words before we were seated. Problem was, we were halfway through the movie and I was so focused on the mess in my head, I had no idea what was happening on the screen. I was really trying to focus, but Bård’s steady breathing by my side and occasional chewing, combined with glares from Adela, definitely took all capability to remain ignorant.

I was giving up on trying to follow the story in the movie, given that I had missed more than enough of it anyway, so instead I decided to keep my attention to Fred’s comments. As though Bård was aware of my disinterest in watching the movie, he leaned in and with eyes still trained on the screen, he asked, “Is he always this quiet?”

“Most of the time,” I blurted out, before the sense overload could catch up with me and drive me into silence. It was just that Bård was a steady warmth on my right and the delicious perfume he was wearing, wasn’t making anything easier. I could feel my heart rate spiking, which ensured me I was most likely blushing as well. Somehow, I felt relieved to be in a dark room at the moment and a smile danced on my lips as I mused to myself I was the only one aware of my heartbeat. I began relaxing at the thoughts, evening out my breathing and trying to clear my throat without giving any indications of doing so.

If Bård took notice of the fidgeting, he didn’t mention it. He simply asked, “Do you think I could take him out somewhere tomorrow? You will be included in the package.”

Bård’s proposal was honestly sweet and my heart skipped a beat when he looked at me expectantly, his gaze silently pleading in the most adorable way. I hated being the one to break a party, but despite that I heard myself saying, “He is going back home tomorrow.”

When someone from the row behind made a shushing noise at us, Bård giggled as his arm flew to cover his lips and in the moment I snickered, completely aware of the gaze boring holes in the back of my skull.

Once he had his laughter under control, clearly attempting to keep it down, he asked, “When is the flight?”

“At four in the afternoon,” I replied.

“What do you say I pick you up in the morning after breakfast and we go bowling?” he wondered, fixing his gaze on me.

In the darkness of the room, where the only sound was coming from the movie, I felt myself getting lost in the wish to lean a bit closer and close the gap between us. My eyes were fixed on his, as my mind kept analyzing the most nonsensical detail at the moment, and trying to determine the exact color which was hiding in his eyes. He made a slight shift in his seat and I felt myself being drawn to him.

I was on the verge of doing just what my instincts instructed me to do and lean in to kiss him, when he whispered, “You can get his things, and I drive you to the airport afterwards.”

I snapped out of my thoughts and as my hand flew up to scratch the back of my neck. I worried in my lower lip between my teeth, and said, “Let me talk to Fred about it.” I paused a moment, but Bård gave an understanding nod.

“I can text you tonight?” I half-explained, half-asked.

He didn’t insist on it, only nodding his consent, before returning the attention back on the screen. I, on the other hand, had an even more difficult time focusing. It was as though I was suddenly painfully aware of every little movement Bård was making. Every little rustling from him would send my heart in another level of hyperactivity.

It was abnormal of me to actually hope things would be awkward between us, but secretly I must have, since the fact everything seemed to be okay, made me feel disappointed in a way. It is not like I was hoping to lose Bård’s friendship. It had been the most valuable thing I had grown to cherish since my father’s death and the fact Bård was taking my mind off problems was something which was drawing me closer to him. The friend I wanted to keep.

But given we’ve already overstepped those boundaries made me realize how much I feared gaining something more. It was good to know I could rely on him to hear me out when needed and it was good to know there was someone who would help me stand up when I feel like drowning. And, it was all because that person wouldn’t be there for me when ‘us’ didn’t work out. That was the dread which clearly prevented me from making that final step forward. It was what made me push Bård away that night, and as much as I hated it, my logic had a good theory against my heart’s wishes.

“Katie,” my brother’s voice cut my thoughts short. “Credits are rolling,” he explained, looking at me expectantly. Then I realized I was still seated and very much fixated on one spot.

“Right,” I mumbled, jumping up on my feet. “Sorry.”

Fred wasn’t buying the attempt at nonchalance. “You okay?” he asked.

“I am good,” I reassured with a smile, and though he didn’t seem convinced, he let the subject drop, as I inelegantly managed to exit the row and head for the exit. Once we escaped the general crowd, we ended up agreeing on going to lunch at a place of Adela’s choosing. My brother was enchanted with the idea, so I was incapable to protest. Bård followed without any protests, so it was safe to assume he was as willing to comply with the demands as I was. My excuse was my brother’s enthusiasm, whilst Bård had none. I was beginning to ponder over it, when Adela cleared her throat next to me.

Her gaze was fixed on mine, and when I glanced at her, she immediately enquired, “What’s wrong with Bård and you?”

“Nothing,” I spoke up, too quickly and too panicky for it to escape Adela.

Arching an eyebrow, she rolled her eyes, before saying, “We are discussing this when we can find a time alone. Got it?” An accusing finger was pointed in my direction and I knew she wasn’t going to let it slide this time around. Lucky me, I had time to consider what to share, and the story wasn’t mine alone to be able to share it all without regret.

Lunch went quite uneventful considering the company, but an animating conversation did happen to cover most of it. I know I was grateful to Bård for making Fred smile on more than one occasion, and it was not the shy, reserved type only. He laughed, out loud, a few times and hearing my little brother laugh so openly and so honestly after what seemed years, I felt my heart blossoming.

And, if I glanced at Bård fondly more than a few times over, well no one noticed it as to comment.

***

Fred jumped on the bed the second he walked through the door of my room and I shook my head at him. He seemed entirely exhausted and blissful, as he relaxed over the covers, not bothering to take off his jacket. He opened his eyes for a moment, looked at me with a grin stretching his lips, and mumbled, “I could fall asleep like this.”

I dropped my jacket down my shoulders and threw it over the desk chair. “You need to get out of those clothes and then you can go to sleep if you want.”

“Nah, I am staying up,” he mumbled. “It is too early to sleep.”

I smiled when he sat upright, taking off the jacket and dropping it over the pillow. Turning my back towards him, I opened the computer and turned it on to check if there was any sort of notification relating university. Coordinating my breathing and supporting my weight on my palms, I considered it a good time as any to ask Fred about Bård’s suggestions. I feared his reaction, so I used the advantage my position gave me in hiding my expressions, and asked, “Fred, you can say no, but Bård wanted to take us to a bowling alley tomorrow morning before driving us to the airport for the flight. I am supposed to text him a reply tonight.”

Expecting a reproach from Fred had me closing my eyes, my eyebrows furrowing on their own accord, as I worried my lower lip between my teeth. As the silence from the other room prolonged in time, I resigned with the fact my brother was moments ago before shouting at me.

Then I heard him speak, the words whispered so quietly, thus making it almost impossible to hear, “You mean he wants to take you.”

The reproach and fury which I prepared myself for never came. In fact, Fred’s words were filled with something close to amusement.

“The invitation had you at the top of the list,” I murmured, as I turned around to look at Fred.

And, just as his voice announced, Fred was smiling at me. “Do you really like him?”

I contemplated around the response to that question, debating whether I should tell Fred, but he seemed so expectant. I could never lie to my brother, no matter what, so I pushed myself off the desk and moved towards the bed. I sat down next to him and I locked my gaze with that of my brother, saying, “I might really like him.”

“I don’t mind, you know,” he said next, surprising me. As much as I wanted to believe my brother would never cause any issues of the sort, I did expect him to put up a discussion at least. Before I could get a grip of my track of thoughts, Fred was continuing, “He likes you too, in case you didn’t know.”

Unsure what to reply to that, I asked, “He does?”

“He keeps casting you glances when you are not looking at him,” Fred stated, matter-of-factly.

I barked out a laugh, before growing serious again and asking, “Where did you learn that?”

Rolling his eyes, Fred defended himself, “I am not a child anymore.”

I smiled at him, realizing that he was probably right, but since he was growing right in front of my eyes I never actually took notice of it. And, in the craziness of a distraction university provided me with, I entirely forgot about him, and was just then fully unaware of how much I missed him.

Fred got me out of my thoughts once again. “I like Bård. He is funny and he really seems to care about you. And, I’d love to go bowling tomorrow.”

Huffing out a breath, I closed my eyes and tried to control my blush. The words were out before I could rephrase them, “I had you at bowling, didn’t I?”

“Pretty much,” Fred sardonically provided, before laying out the reason of the conversation, “I just wanted to get the truth. Mum will love to hear this.”

“You are a traitor,” I murmured under my breath, sending him a glare, but he appeared unaffected.

Scrambling to get up I handed Fred the laptop once I had the check finished, leaving him to his devices. I picked up my purse from the floor where I had dropped it upon arrival and took out my phone. It required all the self-control I could gather to stop myself from going through the messaged Bård and I exchanged over the last month. I knew if I ventured there, I would end up grinning at the screen like the last few times I caught myself unaware of it, and it was certainly something I wanted to avoid while in the room with my brother. So, I let my fingers hover over the screen for a few moments, before typing out, _Fred is looking forward to going out tomorrow. I hope you didn’t change your mind, but even if you did – there is no way out now. Goodnight, Bård._

I remained glaring at the screen for a few moments after I pressed send. When I was halfway to putting the phone down, it buzzed with a new message. Knowing who sent it, I couldn’t resist and opened the message. The contents brought an involuntary smile on my face.

_A gentleman doesn’t back out of a promise. Goodnight, Kate. See you tomorrow_

Sighing, I dropped my phone on the table, since I knew if I texted back we would end up texting for a while and Fred would definitely comment on that. I headed out towards the wardrobe and picked out a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie at a random, and grabbing a towel I headed towards the bathroom for a shower.

Before I stepped out of the room, I said, “Fred, I am going to shower. And, then we are getting chips and watching a movie, okay?”

“Yeah,” he replied, looking up to meet my gaze with a smile.

I left the room, feeling the day catching up with me and I was glad I had time to use for a relaxing bath. I entered under the spray, closing my eyes and allowing the water to wash away any hesitance and fear, for however brief.


	22. Bård: Hot Blooded

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baard spends the day with Kate and Fred, and after taking Fred to the airport, well... Read and you will find out ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing better to remind me of my hatred for exams than exam week! Consequently, I didn't study and I decided to write you guys a new chapter instead. Putting this warning out there, this chapter is the second in the past two weeks, so in case you haven't been around in a while, you might want to make sure you read the previous one first.  
> Also, while writing today I kept placing Helene's name in the story (maybe it was just my mood today, probably an infliction of my reading about Vegard's life far too much for my own good); point is, if you catch sight of Helene's name anywhere in any chapter, shout it out so I can correct.  
> You guys, enjoy! ^_^

I was anxious and that description didn’t do justice to the intensity of the actual feeling. Suddenly, asking Kate and her brother to go to the bowling alley didn’t seem as such a good idea, mostly because I feared how Fred would accept me. But, there was another issue. I didn’t know why I kept trying despite the obvious rejection painted in that light shove she gave me when I tried to take things on a different level. I simply couldn’t find it in me to stop, mostly upon remembering that moment in the cabin where I was convinced, albeit for a brief instant, she shared the same thoughts as I did.

Being a stubborn person in a family with three children, where everyone had to fight for their share in a way, made me strong enough to never give up unless it is what I want. And, that was the last thing I wanted. I wasn’t sure if it was because I thought if I didn’t use the chance I was given I would end up without another one. Or, because I didn’t want another chance and wanted to take it with Catherine. Either way, I wasn’t able to fight of my wishes no matter how hard I tried, so instead I stopped fighting them whatsoever.

Grabbing my phone and the car keys, I headed out. Though my nerves were edgy throughout the entire morning, it seemed as driving took my mind off things and allowed me to stabilize them. I was smiling at the road before me without even paying attention, but I was pulled out of those thoughts when my phone rang. Glancing towards the passenger’s seat briefly I took notice of the callers ID. I slowed down, scrambling to get my phone and without looking I accepted the call and put it on speaker.

“Vegard, I am driving, so be quick,” I said immediately, not waiting for Vegard to start talking.

I tried appearing nonchalant about my brother’s obvious astonishment. “Oh, you are out?”

“Yeah, I just left home,” I confirmed, taking a left turn towards Adela’s house. “Why are you calling?”

“I was thinking of inviting you over to lunch today, but if you have plans then maybe some other time.”

Parking the car a few houses down, I took the phone in my hand and pressed it against my ear. I had to finish the conversation before I could pick Kate and Fred up. “I do have plans. Apologize to Mary on my behalf, but I am not available today.”

“So, what are you going to do today then?” Vegard asked, curiosity obvious and strangely he appeared unfazed by my absence at lunch.

“I am going to have fun, Vegard,” I elaborated, twisting my voice as to emphasize every word, before using the same manner to add, “And, I am going to start now by not telling what I will be doing.”

I could practically feel my brother’s eye roll from the other side of the line, since the change in his breathing told me as much. “You are hilarious,” he mumbled gruffly. “I am serious, Bård.”

“You changed your name?” I asked, wanting to avoid the topic Vegard was going for.

Countering my words, he didn’t dignify the question with an answer. “You going out with Catherine?”

“You slept with your prom date?” I proudly asked, remembering it was the one question Vegard never provided me with an answer relating his prom.

“Oh, you are going out with her,” he triumphantly said, catching me off guard on the certainty in his words. “You always dodge my questions with that when I get your plans right.”

“No, I don’t,” I protested, aware of the weakness of it.

“Yeah, you do,” he began, but I ended up not hearing any word whatsoever, since I saw Catherine and Fred stepping out the house. My gaze, to my utter lack of being a gentleman, tracked Kate’s figure and betraying me, my mind took notice of how lovely she looked. Hating on myself and the string of words Vegard was spouting in my ear, though I didn’t pay attention to them, I cursed under my breath. When I caught the fact my words were louder than intended I said, “No, not you Vegard. Listen, I have to go. I will call you later. Bye.”

With that I hung up the phone, not bothering to put it down on the seat and still keeping it in my hands as I exited the car, and waved at Catherine. She waved back at me and alongside Fred they approached me.

“I am sorry I am late. My brother was on the phone and I wanted to finish that up before we get going,” I said instead of a greeting.

“You are only fashionably late and that can be forgiven,” she replied, but her brother seemed to have an opinion of his own since the very moment she finished talking, he said, “No, he can’t be forgiven. He made the first mistake in the book. Never be late.”

He seemed so proud at the end of that deliverance and so convinced of his matter-of-fact speech, and I couldn’t stop the smile which crept at the corners of my lips.

“He is right,” I admitted, nodding towards Catherine, looking anything but guilty. She seemed to be mildly amused by the situation, so I rolled with it. Addressing Fred I said, “So, what do you say I redeem myself?”

“That’d be good,” he said seriously, making me realize instantaneously I loved the kid’s character more than I thought I would.

“Shall we?” I mumbled the question, motioning to my car and looking expectantly at them both.

***

The day progressed with impeccable ease. Fred was having fun or at least he seemed to be, and Catherine was smiling more in an hour than what I’d seen in the entire year. So, for me that was a wining situation. The bowling alley was an advantage which developed into a challenge, as Fred and Kate conspired against me and formed a team to compete for the higher score. Despite my expectations to at least give them a fight, they defeated me hands down and with a very humiliating score, one I will always refrain from mentioning. Despite losing, it still felt as a victory to me.

As we were walking out of the building, Kate and Fred were bickering about the type of food they wanted and since I as the defeated member of the party had no say in the choice, I remained a quiet observer. As I walked towards my car, by their side, I realized I was happy. Right then and there. At that very moment, and much happier than I’d been in over a year.

My thoughts got cut short as my heard fluttered when Catherine looked at me almost apologetic for the decision, as she asked, “So, how does pizza sound to you?”

“It’s fine,” I confirmed, and Fred grinned at his sister, triumph evident in the gleam of his eyes.

Each took their original seat in the car and as I was driving towards the closest pizza place I could think of, Kate and Fred remained mostly silent. Glancing at my phone, I did a calculation of the remaining time. Two hours were just enough to cover both lunch and drive to the airport. Having settled that, I focused on the driving until we parked at a dinner’s parking place.

Being at the place for the first time in years, I didn’t like the lack of progress the place had, but Fred seemed ecstatic and since he was the one calling the shots, I had to retaliate. Surprisingly the order was more edible than I’d expected it to be. And, the company suited me. It was perfect. It was also silent, and I decided to put a stop to that part.

“Fred, what did you think of Norway?” I began lamely, though if the boy didn’t like it, he didn’t bother to point it out.

He glanced up at me, before looking back at Kate as though asking permission which she must have given in the stoic expression, because moments later he was responding, “It was nice. It isn’t home, but I get why Katie likes it so much.”

He seemed to contemplate his next words for a moment before deciding to express them, “She misses home though. I can tell,” he finished, his eyes glued on Kate. She spoke nothing, though I was fairly sure they were having a conversation through looks. Vegard and I used to do it all the time, so I was sure they had a system developed as well. I didn’t recognize the procedure behind it though, so I asked, “Do you?”

It took Catherine a moment to realize I was addressing her, before she looked at me, frowning, and asked, “Hm?”

“Do you miss England?” I wondered, which earned me a smirk from the youngest member of the group.

“Of course I do,” she defensively mumbled. “Mum is there and so is Fred. It be stupid and heartless not to miss that.”

“That is different. Missing family is one thing. That is normal,” I stated, earning another approving look from her brother. I liked the feeling it gave me, so I proceeded, “I meant the country. Do you miss that?”

Her expression changed into a contemplative.

I exchanged a quick glance with Fred and we shared a smile, one which Catherine must had seen, since the next moment she was playfully exclaiming, “You two conspired against me, didn’t you?”

Before I could respond, Fred chirped, “We did no such thing!”

“I am going to utilize my right to remain silent,” she declared a moment later, returning to her meal with a smile on her face.

Winking at Fred I said, “Sorry, but that right has no application here.”

“Not saying anything,” she half-sang. “Besides, you two should shut up and finish the meal. We have to be at the airport in an hour.”

We did just that, and after a while we found ourselves at the airport. Upon Catherine’s insistence, she was the one carrying her brother’s luggage. She had an arm looped around his shoulders, as he was leaning against her shoulder.

“Okay, so I have this one class to take care of and I will be back home before you know it,” she mumbled, which received her a thoughtful hum.

Raising his head from her shoulder, Fred looked directly at her, asking, “When will that be?”

Kate shook her head, a smile on her lips, one she tried to obscure. “When I know the exact date, you will be the first to find out. I give you my word on that,” she paused to place a kiss on his forehead, before squinting her eyes at him and adding, “Speaking of promises. Yours is still on the clock. Got it?”

“Yeah, got it,” he mumbled, hugging her.

They parted when a ringing of a phone echoed, and Catherine furrowed at the screen once she dug it out of her purse, and stepping aside, she gave her excuse, “Sorry, I have to take this.”

I couldn’t overhear a word, aside the greeting she provided in the speaker, when my attention was gained back by an intentional clearing of a throat. I whirled my head back towards Fred, who was now looking at me pointedly. I was instants away from asking the reason behind his serious face, and what is was he had on his mind, when he began, “You hurt her, and I will kick your ass.”

The line caught me so much by surprise, I didn’t know whether to laugh at the seriousness with which he threatened me, to wonder what it was which compelled him to say that to me, or, “What?” I croaked out.

“Or I will find someone to do it for me,” he continued, though it seemed more of an afterthought than anything else.

“I don’t understand,” I mumbled, wondering if I were as obvious for a kid to notice, then what if Catherine knew as well.

“My sister,” he rolled his eyes at me, making me gape. Standing dumbstruck before the boy, I continued listening as he spoke on, “I know she likes you, and you sure as hell like her back. So, all I am saying is, you hurt her I hurt you.”

“Eh?” I, so eloquently, provided. I found I sounded like a broken record halting, on repeat.

Fred cocked an eyebrow at me, completely staying in his character, whatever that one was. “Oh, don’t play dumb on me. And, don’t give me aneurism face. I am thirteen, not stupid, okay?”

“Right,” I mumbled, my arms flailing by my sides, as my fingers fidgeted around the hem of my shirt.

“Also, kiss her sooner than later,” he muttered, his voice conveying nothing but teasing.

My head shot up when I heard Catherine’s voice, “Sorry about that. Mum was checking up.”

She smiled at me, and I relaxed, realizing she was oblivious to what had just transpired. The atmosphere between me and Fred was not awkward per se, but weird was definitely a word which could describe it. I didn’t think it would be her brother who would open my eyes with relation to how unavoidable what I felt for Catherine was.

***

Despite her brother’s departure, the small smile tugging at the corners of Kate’s mouth as we left the airport told me she was happy and the weekend did her good. She flipped a strand of hair behind her ear, and I found myself looking away, as to hide a smile of my own.

We got in the car, and Catherine was relaxed in her seat – her eyes focused on the road outside her window, whilst I was focused on the drive. I didn’t notice I was heading home until I parked the car in the driveway, which had me freeze at the fact I didn’t ask Kate if I should take her to Adela’s.

I slowly turned to look at her, only to find her resting her head on the seat, her eyes on me and a smile shyly directed to me. It was but a whisper when she spoke, “Thanks for today. Fred loved it, and I had a really good time.”

“It was my pleasure. Besides, I had a lovely time as well,” I murmured my reply, and then without thinking, I proceeded, “I know I didn’t really ask you and just drove, but would you like to come in?”

“I should head home,” she replied languidly.

I nodded. Before I could get a word out, and ask if I should give her a ride, Catherine’s words shocked me into silence, “You have a cup of tea for me?”

Breathing in, I tried to calm my fluttering nerves, and ignore the frantic beating of my heart. “I can dig something out, I am sure.”

We walked inside in silence – comforting and pleasant – and I headed in the kitchen to prepare the requested drink, after dropping my jacket and keys on the armchair. When I returned back in the living room with the prepared tea, and a glass of water for myself, to find Catherine seated on the sofa – relaxed and strangely enough lacking any trace of shyness.

I placed the cup before her, and she cracked an eye open, closing it after giving me an once-over. Placing the glass down, I sat beside her and despite my better judgment, turned around to look at her.

“Fred had kept me so busy, I feel like I will need a week to recover,” she suddenly declared. “I’ve forgotten how exhausting keeping up with him can be.”

Humming, I smiled, “On the bright side, you have enough time to rest tonight.”

“Are you gonna finish my assignments then?” she teased.

Giving back as good as I got, “Are you going to find faults in them if I do?”

“Fair enough,” she sighed, throwing her head back and biting her lip, before she straightened up and looked at me.

I didn’t know what exactly compelled me – making me forget all my doubts, questions and preventions – but suddenly I had my lips sealed against hers, and a twist of joy enveloped my chest. Catherine froze under my touch, her lips remained unmoving, and my chest clenched again – from another reason this time around.

I pulled away quickly, and sat up at the edge of the sofa hastily, fixing my gaze on the carpet and ignoring the regret igniting my every cell, croaked out, “I’m sorry.”

My words were met with silence, and I could only dread the moment when those thoughts which ran through her mind would be spoken. Hanging my head, I let my chin at rest on my chest. A silent sigh formed on my lips, though I didn’t allow any sound to escape me – it was the least I could do, not add fuel to the fire. I didn’t need to make her feel guilty for my miscalculation.

“Bård,” she finally began, and I found nothing in her voice to suggest what was about to follow. I couldn’t bring myself to face her, and suddenly I heard my ex’s voice, ‘No one will love you until you find a way to behave as a gentleman on occasion.’

It felt all too familiar, the weight of the reminder all too real and I couldn’t bring myself to sit through it. I owed Kate that much though, so I looked up and met her gaze.

“I am really sorry, Kate. I know, mph –” my words died away abruptly when her lips pressed against mine. Her right hand on my shoulder, her left cradling my face. Despite the promise to never admit to it, a whimper slipped past my lips, before I turned my entire body toward hers. Our kiss broke up with a pant, and we both paused for a moment, before we returned back to it with the same intensity – clashing teeth and mingling breaths.

She was setting the tempo – her lips on mine were demanding, thirsty and breathtaking. Her hand moved to grasp the lapel of my shirt tightly, her breath hitching when my hands settled on her hips.

Even though I didn’t want to push her further, I slightly pressed towards her and found my mind reeling when her frame caved to lay down over the sofa. Caging her body underneath mine, I trailed kissed down her jaw, before ducking to leave a mark on her neck. As my lips sealed over her skin, she arched into me – her heavy breaths in my ear a reminder of my infliction.

She entangled her fingers in my hair, yanking backwards to pull me away from my diligent intention, and then met my lips halfway, drawing a moan from my lips. She seemed completely lost in the moment, and I allowed myself the same, sneaking my hands under her and settling them on her waist as I pulled her closer to satisfy my own selfish need.

I was suffocating on how perfect everything felt, from the kiss to each touch, so new and exhilarating, persistent in igniting my desire for her. And, I wanted. I wanted her just as much as I hoped she wanted me.

My breathing stuttered when I felt her hands moving down my neck and over my back to settle over the waistband of my jeans. She hooked her fingers in the belt loops, and tugged my hips against hers as her legs parted to accommodate my weight. I groaned as our groins slid together, pressing further down, to rut against her. My vision was beginning to grow misty, my hands were shaking – and before I could reach past the point of no going back, I pulled away only enough to be able to lock our gazes together and asked, “Are you sure you want this?”

The thought I wouldn’t be able to contain myself and stop if things escalated further remained unspoken, just resting on the tip of my tongue, while I waited for her response.

When her eyes landed on mine, I reeled back at the severe lust which I found in them. A small voice of doubt found a way to play with me though, as my mind provided, ‘What if she stopped? What if she left now? Would I bare it?’ The answers to the first two questions were something I couldn’t provide, but the answer to the third – I knew. And, I knew something else – she was my world now, and it took me too long to realize it.

“No, I am not sure,” she provided, shaking me away from my thoughts effectively. Despite my attempts, my entire body tensed and sensing it, she smirked at me, “but I want it. God help me, I fucking want it.”

At those words I relaxed, not holding back the forming smile. It was definitely amusing to hear Kate curse, but my smile carried a more profound foundation.

I got up as I interlocked our fingers together and helped her off the couch, leading her up the stairs and in my bedroom. Once inside, I turned to face her. She was beautiful, and entirely unaware of it. She was slowly closing the distance between us, still holding onto my hand.

Her approaching form was tempting, her curves challenging and her eyes mesmerizing. Unable to wait any further, I pulled her against me quickly, which caused her to shy away and look down. Tilting her chin up, I whispered, “Never look down in front of anyone.”

I pressed my lips against hers, and her hands began roaming my back – tangling in my hair, scratching and grasping – making my knees buck underneath me. I pressed her against the closed door, mostly seeking support for myself. My hand settled on her neck, and she gasped. Taking the opportunity, I delved inside her mouth, allowing my tongue to explore as I ground my hips against hers.

Gripping her thighs, I swiftly picked her up from the ground and began to continuously rut against her. I knew she could feel the bulge in my trousers, being as close as we were, but I didn't care. I wanted her to know just how much I longed for this moment. I wanted her to know what she did to me. How she managed to make my throat burn thirsty for her lips.

“Fy faen, det er bare magisk!” I moaned in her mouth, as her hands tugged my shirt out of my trousers, and moved underneath to delve on my flesh. “Du er vakker.”

My shirt was on the ground by the time I let her down and snuck mine under her shirt, finally moving to cup a feel. My shaft was straining against the zip of my trousers, and it was painful, but I wanted this to be anything but rushed. I pulled her shirt over her head, and she raised her hands to help me through the process. Allowing the shirt to descend, I snared her wrists against the door, stopping her from burning me even more with her light, teasing touches. It was my turn to _tease_.

I kissed her on the lips firmly, and just as she tried to deepen the kiss, I pulled away swiftly making her pant in displeasure. Realizing it was enough torture for her, I gave her another kiss, this one strong and demanding, hungrily nipping and biting with the goal to take her breath away. Letting go of her wrists, I skated my fingers down her arms and under her armpits, down her sides reveling in the feeling of her skin under my fingertips.

Before I could register her move, she had me pinned against the door, taking over and sinking on her knee, as she unzipped my trousers. Pulling them down and making me step out of them, she began returning back up slowly tracing her hands along my legs and just shy of my member, before getting up again. I had no time to complain for the loss of her touch, before my attention was engaged otherwise.

“Your turn to undress me,” she murmured, and I didn’t need more encouragement to comply. Grasping the zip, I yanked her towards me, before sliding it down and twisting the button open. I mimicked her as I took off her trousers, kneeling before her and upon returning back up, I took an additional step forward and traced my lips between her legs, feeling her pulsing heat.

She yanked me up, capturing my lips in a kiss as she wrapped her legs around me again. My hands moved behind her back and I unhooked her bra, removing it as I ducked and took one nipple in my lips, slowly sucking the sensitive bud in and rolling my tongue over it, before gently biting down.

Her moan was raucous, and her voice hoarse, as she provided, “Fucking speed this up. I need more, and soon.” Too coherent for my liking, I planned on doing just that.

With her legs wrapped around my waist, I shoved off the wall and headed for the bed. I put her down still grabbing a firm hold of her hips. Her eyes were dark, as I kneeled on the edge of the bed – following her as she moved back. Her lips were a strong red, bitten and moist – her eyes centered on me.

I pulled her panties off with a smirk and revealed her naked glory in front of my eyes. My own joined hers rather quickly. Finding ourselves entirely free, our bodies skin-tightened and our moans filling the room, I doomed over her and murmured in her ear, “Kate.”

“Yeah?” she wondered, between gasps. Not leaving the heated gaze, I pressed my body on top of hers, I moved for a kiss but at the last moment only bit on her lower lip.

“What?” she enquired again, not met with an answer the first time.

Shifting my hips to slide inside her, I broke the kiss to answer, “Nothing,” realizing it was for the better those three little words remained unsaid. I felt her nails scratching down my back, as I moved inside her, while our lips danced together.

Our kiss broke when we reached the top. Her heavy breathing on my chest, mine on hers. Our mouths an inch away and our gazes locked, delving in the others. I pressed a chaste kiss on her mouth, leaving the kiss light enough, while both of us attempted to return our breathing back to normal. It was fire we felt, it was heat. And it was present everywhere - in her eyes, in my breath, in the touch of our bodies. It was there in all those moans, in all the sweat. It was there in all its glory.

And, I _loved_ every second of it.


	23. Catherine: Comfortably Numb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Misunderstandings. Angst. Cursing, and not even near to as much as I have been over the last month. Hint of smut, sort of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't appear to be chatty today. So, just enjoy!

My entire body was relaxed as I immersed from the depth the night had taken me to, a yawn sneaking past my lips, forcing me to readjust my head on the pillow – which was… _Shit._ I froze at the warm comfort of Bård’s chest under my head, as memories began to flood back.

Heartbeat thumping a tenfold, I bit my lower lip as to stop a whimper. The reaction was a fact bringing to my attention my own weaknesses regarding Bård, ones which I had taken no notice of. I chased the thoughts away, focusing back on the warmth emanating from Bård.

There was no denying the night before had happened, nor the vivaciousness of our actions – certainly not when I was lying naked against Bård, with my head resting over his chest and my hand over his abdomen, as his fingers were entangled in my hair.

Both of us in our naked glory, and Bård relaxed under my frame had my head spinning, and then sanity kicked in and had me realize how much I’d dreaded this moment. It was not the intimacy of the embrace I dreaded, I didn’t fear waking up in his bed – I feared it could be all a trick from that desire of mine, and a moment of lust for him.

_‘Besides, how are you supposed to go about the day after with your professor?’_ my mind traitorously provided, in consequence making my breath hitch. It seemed a work of my own doubts, quite efficiently pulling me away from feeling comfortable, and then I shifted to look at Bård’s face.

I held my breath until my eyes landed on his sleeping form, as I’d expected him to be awake. Slowly, trying not to wake him up, I pushed myself off the mattress and not flickering my eyes from Bård’s, I hesitated if I should wake him up with a kiss – his lips looking more inviting than humanly possible.

Tentatively I brushed over his chest before moving my hand to grip the duvet and then, making as little noise as possible, I parted away from Bård and got up, pulling the covers over him again. Ignoring the lump in my throat I turned around to find my discarded clothes, and began pulling one article after another over me.

I couldn’t help but wonder why I was doing that to Bård, and what he would think upon finding the bed empty – yet somehow I still felt as though he would only feel relief, and he would be right to. I was torn between what my heart deemed as right and what my mind considered as such – it was that last thought what eased my decision – and after putting on the last cloth, I left the room as soon as I picked up all my things.

Before exiting the room, I looked back towards him and whispered, “I am sorry, Bård.”

Grabbing my purse from the living room, I slipped outside his house, and thinking I would need a walk to clear my thoughts decided I should head down the street. A gentle breeze greeted me once I stepped out, and I ran down the driveway, as though distancing myself from the house, _from Bård_ would make me less inclined to feel the way I did.

Gulping, I wiped away the beginning of a tear, clearing my throat through a cough and wishing to be under my bed covers, trying to forget how overwhelming, emotional, igniting, _real_ last night was. And, how it was lost in just a beat. How I regretted it and was unable to change it without regretting it even more.

***

Gulping for air, I walked inside the house, glad everyone seemed to still be retired and headed up to my room, closing the door behind me and breathing out a sigh of relief. First thing was getting under the shower to attempt and wash away Bård’s touch, to remove from my body the gentle glide of his fingers over my skin causing goose bumps to erupt and to forget how his lips felt ghosting my neck.

The water was rolling down my body, my eyes closed and I still felt Bård’s palm on the nape of my neck, his tongue rolling against mine before they made their descend, Bård’s grazing bites on my collarbone. The burning of my entire body as I felt him entering me.

I groaned at the memories, shaking them off as I turned off the water and stepped outside the shower. Heading back in the room, I grabbed my phone – unable to feel remorse for doing it so late – and dialed home. I needed to check how Fred’s trip back had been.

“Hello,” my mother’s voice spoke, once the phone was picked up.

Taking a breath, and pretending I felt anything but entirely miserable, I greeted back with fake cheerfulness, “Hi, mum. I’m sorry I am calling this early, but I wanted to check up on Fred. He got home okay?”

“Yeah, I picked him up last night,” she replied right away. “He’s been telling me things.”

Trying to ignore the thoughts of Bård, I returned with a teasing tone, “Are you conspiring against me?”

“He said he had a wonderful time,” mum provided, ignoring my remark. She knew I already was familiar with the answer. “He also said Bård was really nice.”

Humming in approval, I was otherwise mute in the face of her words, a gnawing guilt inside me wild as the desert wind.

“Are you okay?” mum inquired, just when I thought she was unaware of how I felt.

Biting on my lip, I spared just enough time to make sure she wouldn’t suspect anything, which too quick a reply or hesitation would bring. “Yeah, just a bit tired. Fred knows how to drain my energy to the maximum.”

“Are you sure, Kate? You sound a bit off,” she murmured in the phone, and I felt chills covering my back in a form of a sentiment I was yet unfamiliar with.

My mother wasn’t the person I wanted to discuss it – the mode of my relationship with Bård, or rather a lack of thereof – with, but before I could help myself, I sighed and blurted, “I slept with Bård.”

I could practically hear the wheels rolling in my mother’s head, jumping to all sorts of conclusions, I was sure I didn’t want mentioned, so I proceeded, “Last night after we dropped off Fred, we went back to his place, and it just happened.”

“Oh, honey,” she sighed.

Rising my hand to pinch the bridge of my nose, I added, “And, it was amazing.” I cringed at my choice of words, but there was no taking it back, so I just swallowed dryly and awaited for the response.

My mother’s surprise was evident upon her inquiry, “Why do you sound so dejected then?”

“Probably something to do with the fact I snack out this morning.”

“Oh, but Katie. Why?”

A tear slipped down my left cheek, and I didn’t have the strength to wipe it away.

“I don’t think he would ever be in it for the full ride, mum. I mean he was my professor, and he probably sees me like something brief until I return home, and I am not – I am in for a full ride,” I paused briefly, feeling the relief of sharing wash over me. It’d been a long time since I’d shared. And, it felt good, albeit awkward. “I like him. More than I dared admit to myself, and it’s boarding love. I am afraid if I’d stayed, sooner or later, he would want me gone. I am afraid that if I allowed myself to love him, he wouldn’t love me back.”

“I wish I could hug you now Kate, and make sure you know everything will be fine,” mum provided, not trying to comment on my huff of disbelief, “but how can you be sure he doesn’t feel the same as you do?”

Coming up short for much else, I gave my best assumption, “He’s too rational to allow any affection for a person living in a different country.”

I wished my declaration to have sounded more convincing than it had, and that my words weren’t as much of a question as they appeared to be. Once mum answered, I knew those words could have been stony and completely believable, and yet she would have made them crumble.

“So are you, and yet here you are.”

“Yeah, I guess so,” I murmured. “Hey, I am gonna go. I want to rest a little, and then I have to study. Thanks for hearing me out, okay?”

“Okay, Katie. If you need anything, give me a call, okay?”

I nodded silently, before remembering mum couldn’t see me. “Yeah. Love you, mum.”

“Love you too.”

I cut the call short even before I brought my phone down. Placing it on the table, I splayed over the bed, trying to relax for a moment and avoid the horrible headache threatening to soon overpower me. I was merely moments from sinking into the mattress to surrender into the slumber of sleep, when my phone buzzed.

I got up only enough to grab it from the table and settled back on the bed, before opening the message.

_Hey, is everything alright? You weren’t here when I woke up, so I got worried. Call me_

My thumb twitched over the screen in a necessity to reply, but I was both stubborn and unwilling, so I locked my phone and threw it back over the nightstand.

I registered three more texts before I allowed restless sleep to overpower me.

***

A knock on my door woke me up, and once I managed to battle from under the duvet, I stifled a yawn upon inquiring, “Yes?”

Adela’s head poked inside. “Can I come in?”

I nodded briefly, clearing my hoarse throat, before another wave of sleepiness overtook and I ended up throwing a hand over my lips to cover another yawn.

Adela quirked an eyebrow at me, “You slept well?”

“Well enough, I suppose,” I simply confirmed, running a hand through my hair and cracking my neck, as I sat up, supporting my back against the headboard.

“So,” Adela drew out the syllable tauntingly, “where were you last night?”

My head snapped up, as I looked at her directly. So much for inconspicuousness.

“I –,” my words failed me, as I was unable to think of a proper excuse close to the truth, yet without including Bård in the story, and I felt my face heating up on its own.

Which of course, didn’t go unnoticed, making Adela inquire, “You were –?”

“I am pretty sure you already know,” I provided with a shrug, realizing that maybe it would be a good idea to actually talk to her regarding the events from the previous night.

Nodding, she didn’t fail to question. “Bård?”

“Yeah,” I murmured.

Adela squealed, “So, where did you guys go?”

“We went bowling with Fred, and then we took him to the airport, and we ugh,” I paused, bringing my hands up only to rest them on my shoulders, and dig my fingers in my flesh. The words I wanted to provide, only ended up being a few groans in succession.

“You,” Adela prompted, and I looked up at her, sighing in defeat as I finished my thought, “We went back to his place.”

“Oh my God, are you for real?” Adela’s enthusiasm was as blinding as was her smile.

“And, we slept together.”

Flailing with her hands around, she exclaimed, “Holly shit!”

“And, I snuck out this morning.”

That was the point of turn of events.

“What?” disbelieving, she inquired.

“And, I’ve been ignoring his texts.”

“Why? What did he say?”

“I read only the first but he was super sweet.”

Not a second later she snatched my phone from the nightstand, and said, “Aw, five missed calls and three texts.”

“Adela, please,” I pleaded.

“’ _Hey, is everything alright? You weren’t here when I woke up, so I got worried. Call me_ ’, that is adorable,” Adela chirped.

“Can you not?” I begged.

“No, I am reading them out loud,” she pointed out, turning her finger at me accusingly, “and then we are discussing your shitty behavior towards him.” And, whatever she had planned to say next was dismissed, by her need to squeal, “Oh, God. Then he wrote, _‘Did something come up? Call me’_. Well, aside from him,” Adela pointed out with a cocked eyebrow, “I am sure nothing came _up_.”

I groaned at the implication of her words, yet she remained unimpressed and vehement on her task.

“ _’Did I do something wrong? Please call me,’_ ” she read out again, flipping a strand of hair over her shoulder, and uncaring for my displeased expression, proceeded, “And then, _‘Please, I am worried. At least let me know if everything is okay. If you are okay. Kate?’_ ”

“Adela, there was a reason I didn’t read those texts,” I provided, trying to bypass the lump in my throat. Biting my lower lip, I gulped a breath, before biting out, “You are aware of it, correct?”

Unfazed by my tone, she half-stated, half-questioned, “So, you are telling me you walked out on a guy who could quit academia to become a model, who shares the same passion as you, is starkly smart, has a great sense of humor and is an absolute sweetheart to you?”

I remained silent, unable to come up with a response.

Adela’s disbelieving voice echoed from the room. “What is the matter with you?”

“I’m here for another couple of months at most, Adela,” I began, shrugging as I fixed my gaze on Adela’s. “I’d like to remember whatever we had as something that could have been at better circumstances, than as something that failed being because of the ones we are at.”

“Did that crazy brain of yours even make any sense out of those thoughts?”

Pursing my lips, I glared, before I blurted, “What do you mean?”

“You’d rather ignore him and ruin a chance at a great friendship in the least, then talk to him and have the opportunity to build something more?”

The thought I’d do anything to keep the idea of Bård liking me alive in my memory, than finding out he’d never be able to love me, crossed my mind at that point. Instead, “We will never build something more, Adela. This is as far as it goes.”

“I give up!” she proclaimed, exaggeratedly throwing her hands up in the air, “You have officially lost it.” Shaking her head judgingly at me, she proceeded more calmly, “He is absolutely _smitten_ with you.”

“No, he is not,” I denied, thinking, ‘ _He couldn’t be._ ’

“Yes, he is,” she insisted, “Just talk to him, please. For both your sakes.”

“I am doing this for our sakes.” Taking a deep breath, I concentrated completely on the prevention of snapping at my friend for trying to be there for me. Thus, I ran my palm over the back of my neck, digging my fingers in the flesh there in attempts to ease the tension there at least a little. Adela was aware I had something else to add, so after the initial hesitance, I confessed, “If I fall for him just a tad more, there is no going back, okay?”

“And, what? You are scared?”

“I am, because I can get out from this hurt. What I fear more, however, is hurting him.”

“Bård’s last relationship ended up with disaster. She –” Adela attempted, but I cut the short with the words, “I know the story.”

“Did he tell you that?” she wondered, a small smile on her lips.

I didn’t see a reason to lie to her. “Yes.”

“Well, he trusted you enough to share that. And, he trusted you even more by sleeping with you, because that way he gave you a way to bring him to the ground, which you clearly took.” She sounded disappointed in me, and her tone of voice sent chills down my spine. “Do you think after his last relationship he’d just go around and sleep with whomever?”

“I –” I attempted, but all words died on my lips.

“After Maya, he was never photographed with a woman in public,” she stated, getting up from her seat, and headed for the door, only to stop short of it and after casting a glance at me over her shoulder, ask, “You still think your silence isn’t hurting him, then?”

With those words she was out the door, and I was left with absolute silence and a suffocating void in my chest.

***

I knew it was late, but I couldn’t wait until the following morning to talk to Bård. Thus, I found myself standing at his doorstep, hesitant to ring the bell. I needed to do this face to face. I needed to apologize to him in person.

I noticed my hand was shaking as I reached towards the doorbell, but I ignored it in favor of pressing over the switch. A long minute stretched by, and I couldn’t suppress the necessity to ring again. The second time around I was also met with a closed door.

Certain, that Bård either didn’t want to see me or wasn’t home in the first place, I headed down the driveway. I walked along the street, towards a small restaurant down the road I’d taken notice of a few times, with the intention to have a drink before trying to find him at his place once again.

I’d barely halved the distance to the place, when a familiar voice pronouncing my name caught my attention, making me look up from my feet.

Bård was standing a few feet away, looking at me in a way I couldn’t decipher.

“Hey,” I provided dumbly.

A shy smile was all the response I received.

“I was at your place just now,” I stated, considering how to go about what had urged me to ignore him throughout the entire day. My voice was a whisper, when I said, “Bård, I am sorry.”

Shrugging slightly, he shook his head slightly, “It’s fine.”

Reaching out hastily, but stopping myself mid-step, I provided, “No, it is _not_.” Realizing how he must have perceived my initial apology, I rushed to elaborate, but all I managed was a, “Bård, no!”

Bård visibly flinched back, and I rushed into a babble, “It’s not how I meant that. Not how I planned this to go. I –, shit.”

“I’ve never heard you curse so much before,” he stated, voice a tad hoarse.

I let a breathless laughter escape me, then shifted on my feet.

Taking a breath, I placed my hands at the hem of my shirt, to prevent them from fidgeting by my side, and continued, “I am not sorry about what happened between us, okay? I am sorry about leaving this morning, and not responding to your calls and messages.”

“Kate, if it is something you regret, then –”

He never managed to finish, because I stepped up in his personal space, curling my fingers in the collar of his shirt, as I explained, “I wouldn’t, and I couldn’t regret the best thing that has happened to me in a long time. I was afraid, and I panicked. I know it is not much of an excuse, and the way I behaved was unpardonable. What I am trying to say is that what I did was wrong, and I am sorry. And, as cliché as it sounds, it really wasn’t you. It’s –”

I didn’t manage to continue, because Bård’s lips were pressed against mine within seconds, and his arms wrapped around my waist as he pulled me flush against his body. His lips tingled as they danced over mine, and I grabbed onto his shoulder blades, urging him closer. Pulling him to me. The last coherent thought I’d managed to perceive was that Adela had been right, and I owed her an apology.

Bård’s kiss was still sweet, so I groaned into it and coaxed his lips open, to delve my tongue in his mouth filthily in order to provoke an equal reaction from him. He seemed to catch up with my wish, responding in kind with his own flicker of tongue.

I ground my hips against his roughly, trailing one hand up to tangle my fingers in his hair, messing it up even more that it already was. And, when he ground his hips in return against mine, I couldn’t avoid grinning in the kiss.

And, I was happy. And, crazy in love.

Everything was perfect. The night sky above us, the cool breeze around us and the heat between us.


	24. Bård: Girls Got Rhythm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One word - smut!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everyone!
> 
> Sorry for the long wait! Here's a new chapter of smut and only that, to give those not interested in reading filth a break from my writing. Those who aim to read, enjoy, and to the rhythm of Baard humming [ this song ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5xbPFlwZc9A)... well, sort of.
> 
> I've been meaning to ask this, so if there are any takers - should I end this story with Catherine or Baard?
> 
> By all means, comment on my ability (or rather inability) to write smut ^_^

We exchanged no words as we stumbled our way back to my car kissing. Our lips were demanding and harsh in their thirst, fast in their hunger, and our bodies were unyielding as we pressed against each other feverously, fighting for more contact than each previous moment provided. She seemed equally _insatiable_ as I felt.

I settled my hands on her waist, just shy of the waistband of her trousers, and pulled her against me abruptly. Her head flew back, her neck a tempting invitation for my lips, and she moaned as I dug my fingers in her flesh, sealing my lips over her skin to suck in a visible mark on her. Possessiveness was never my trait, yet it seemed to burn desire through my veins at that moment and I gave in to the lust which captivated me so fiercely.

Reaching the car, I spun her in my arms a touch too rough, and slammed her against the car. My hands never left her body, as I pressed the length of mine against her back, and I rolled my hips experimentally, sliding my hands down her sides, tracing each contour with vicious drive before resting them on her hips.

I traced my lips along her cheek, breathing out over her skin as I ground my straining erection against the curve of her ass. _Too much clothes,_ my mind provided, helplessly driving my hand over her stomach, the sharp hipbone and down her thigh, and, up again, on her inner thigh and at the very center of her sex. I rested my palm there, cupping her over her pants and she arched into the touch, her head falling back over my shoulder and a gasp of pleasure slipping past her kiss-swollen lips.

I pressed over her behind again, rubbing myself against her, uncaring of the thoughts in her head, as all I could see was desire. To have her. _To make her wanna stay._

“Bård,” she panted. “Oh, god.”

I smirked in pride, and raked my teeth over her ear shell, “Just Bård is fine.”

Whichever response she had planned died on her lips, as I moved my hand to unclasp the button of her jeans and snuck it in her underwear. A hoarse cry ripped open from her mouth at the first touch, and she sounded debauched without us even starting, not that my state of collectedness was better than hers. It couldn’t be, _really_. She was so moist, ready. _Throbbing for me_.

“Jesus Christ,” I ghosted over her shoulder, my hips stuttering in their rhythm.

“I tho –,” she paused to pant, her arm moving from where she’d braced herself against the car, to twist around me so she could dive her fingers in my hair, gripping tightly. “I thought Bård wa–, oh _shit_ , was just fine.”

“Don’t fucking sass me,” I snapped, punctuating the line with a particularly hard shove of my hips. And, then I stopped, stepping away and pulling her with me, before opening the back door of my car and spinning her to face me as I manhandled her on the back seat. If the expression of pure desire on her face was anything to go by, she was loving every moment.

I fell down over her body, as I closed the car door behind me. Covering her completely, I tried to untangle my foot from the door handle, and settled between her thighs when her legs opened to the side. The thought, I’d never been happier for my car’s tinted windows, coursed through my mind in a flash.

I didn’t wait a beat before I started rolling my hips down against hers, uncaring if I’d end up bringing us off in our underwear. I was willing to ignore all possible embarrassment of those actions, and so did she, since she seemed equally immersed in the task. We continued grinding hungrily, entangling tongues and moans, as the heat in the car began rising. The confined space, however, outdid me for a second.

“I think I have cramps in my butt,” I bit out, stilling my movements, waiting for the tingling to subdue.

Catherine’s laughter greeted me, and I opened my eyes to find her head thrown back, and a smile lighting up her whole face. Using the opportunity, I dived back down and sank my teeth in the juncture of her neck. Her laughter caught off with a choked off groan followed by a breathy, “Fuck!”

“Not so funny now, huh?” I mused, gripping the door handle with both my arms and pulling myself towards it, in the process rolling my entire body jerkily against her.

“It’s hilarious,” she responded, stilling my hips with her hands, and then shimmed from underneath me, pushing on my chest and urging me to flip over on my back. Smirking down at me, she murmured, “I just don’t have enough strength in me to dedicate attention to that too.”

“Now,” she teasingly began, flickering her tongue over my ear shell, before grazing the skin with her teeth, “get that pretty ass of yours to sit up and relax.”

Following her order, I sat up half leaning over the seat, and half supporting my weight against the door, squinting down at her in a silent inquiry.

She quirked an eyebrow effortlessly, and smirked as she slid down the seat and on the car floor.

“ _Oh_ ,” I barely managed, at Kate’s upmost amusement.

The flush blossoming high on her cheeks complemented her features perfectly, and added more mischief in the glint hiding behind her luscious lashes. I found myself enraptured as she reached out to unbuckle my belt, and deftly, her fingers did a quick work out of it. Still keeping eye contact, her tongue darted out to curl over her upper lip and slipped back in her mouth, followed with her teeth grazing it to bring a vivid color to her upper lip.

I chocked back a groan, my fingernails scraping against the leather under my palms.

She twisted her thumb and forefinger around the material of my jeans and popped the button open, winking flirtatiously.

My breathing was already labored, and even though I was convinced she couldn’t possibly be comfortable in the small space between the seats, that thought slipped my mind when she lowered my zip and curled her fingers in the waistband of my boxers, pulling them down when I lifted from the seat.

Her hand brushed over my length, and my hardness twitched towards the motion eagerly. Her eyes remained locked on mine, as she wrapped her fingers at the bottom of my shaft, resting her lips over me – only brushing them over the tip, a light touch which sent my hips snapping upward, a moan slipping past my lips. _It’s been too long._ My eyes fell closed.

I bit the inside of my cheek, aiming to stop the noise threatening to escape. Her tongue twirled at the head of my member lightly, and then she breathed a windy breath over it. My head landed back over the seat, and then, surprisingly, all sensation was gone.

Her hands landed flat on my thighs, soothingly running up and down a few times. I looked down at her, and she curled her palms around my hips as a reminder of her presence. Her mouth wrapped around my shaft again – this time the presence unrelenting, her cheeks hollowing as her tongue flickered over the tip, gathering the drop of precum collected there. She moaned around me, taking me deeper as her right hand slipped under her chin, between my thighs, and rolled my balls experimentally.

My back arched, my skin stickily leaving the leather of the seat, as I buckled in her mouth. I was ready to apologize, when her encouraging moan and her mouth sinking down even more, stopped every word and drew a high pitched moan from me.

Her tongue trailed the underside of my shaft, from the bottom to the tip, and she rolled my balls again. My forearm flew in mid-air, colliding with the door handle through a thud, and my fingers curled over it. My right leg twitched, and before I could do anything about it, it was resting over Kate’s back, urging her closer.

I didn’t know where my moans ended and Kate’s encouraging hums began. I knew I was floating, and climbing the road of ecstasy more with each second, trembles overtaking each limb completely.

As the heat in my lower belly grew unbearable and I was about to finish, she slipped off with a wet pop, and my shaft slapped against my belly soundly in the otherwise silent car.

She blew a cool breath over my member, calling tremors in my groin.

“I need to change positions,” she informed, shifting, “My legs are falling asleep.”

“Are you sure you are okay?” I inquired. “Can you –” I cut short, not knowing what to say, and settled with vaguely pointing around.

“I am alright,” she responded. “Are you okay?”

“No complaints,” I provided.

Looking at me with a glint in her eyes, Kate smiled mischievously. “Is that so?”

Before I could respond, her lips were wrapped around me again, and anything intelligent I was thinking about saying, died on my lips, “Hgnnn.”

The orgasm she had cut short moments ago, was already threatening to strike full force once again. Her fingers curled around the base of my shaft, stroking up and down, in sync with the movement of her lips, steady and sure.

My arm sought out her cheek, and I cradled in my palm. It didn’t stop Catherine, and I loved the feeling of my member shifting inside her mouth. My fingers trailed down towards her throat, and then up in her hair, and I rested my hand there just as a presence.

I bucked into the velvety heat around me, then felt a hand creeping up my torso, and fingers scraping my buds. Nails trailed down my stomach, to my navel and moved to tingle a few lines on my side.

“Kate,” I warned, tugging her away from me. She didn’t move.

My abdomen twitched in an intense spasm, my hips rose in a quick jerk and I cried out as I spilled down her throat. She swallowed a few times around me, before letting go of my softening shaft after a final suck from the base to the tip of my cock.

She rose from her position and flopped down next to me, resting her head against the backseat, glancing at the side to look at me. “You okay?”

“I’m gonna need a minute,” I responded, my voice hoarse, “to catch my breath.”

She chuckled at my words, a sigh slipping past her lips, and I felt my heart skip a beat at the openness and trust this situation actually required. I felt a twirl at the bottom of my abdomen when Catherine’s hand landed over mine, her fingers interlocking around my palm, the warmth radiating from her comforting and strangely reassuring.

I pulled up my underwear and jeans, tucking my shaft inside, before zipping up and buckling the belt. In the small space on the backseat, it turned out too much of an effort, but I really didn’t mind given I found Kate looking at me intently upon glancing at her.

I smirked slightly, and then pushed myself up, and towards Kate, allowing my smile to grow upon noting the hitch in her breath. I crowded her down over the backseat, a certain AC/DC song rocking though my orgasm-addled mind, making me hum the melody gently.

“That’s the best you can do, Bård?” she inquired, though I could sense how labored her breathing really was.

Quirking an eyebrow, I inquired, “Music vise, I don’t think you have the ability to challenge me, as to this, let’s see if I can make you scream more.”

Not allowing her to respond, I pressed my lips against hers, nipping on her lower lip until she gasped. Using the opportunity, I slipped my tongue inside her mouth and began mapping out the movements of her own, the scrape of her teeth, the vibration which followed her moans.

Supporting my weight on my left elbow, I allowed my right arm to rave in her hair, pulling her deeper in the kiss. I nipped on her lip one final time, before trailing them from the kiss along her jaw and on her neck, flickering my tongue over the spot I had noticed made her shiver. I was in no way disappointed, since she threw her head back and panted, “Bård.”

I didn’t stop at that though. Molding my lips over her salty skin, tasting the uniqueness of the perfume which burned under my nostrils, I sucked on the flesh in timing with the roll of my tongue. Her hands landed on me, one tangling in my hair and urging me closer, another a firm presence on my neck.

She was pliant under me, yet certainly responsive enough. My hand trailed down her shoulder, and I ran my fingertips down her arm, feeling it strain against the necessity to move, until I had our fingers interlocked. And, then I moved from her neck, satisfied with my work, to proceed with it on her collarbone.

Easing my hand away from hers, I twisted my arm between our bodies, sour to separate from her ever so briefly, and curled my index finger over the top button to sharply pull down. Her shirt popped open within moments, she writhed against me – the sound of her nails scraping the leather drew a groan from me, and in consequence a gasp left her lips.

“Så vakker, min kjære,” I whispered against her skin, unable to keep the words hidden.

I reached under her, and unclasped her bra, returning to steal a small kiss from her. I ghosted my breath on her chin, then down her left clavicle and over her breast, sucking in her nipple gently. She arched against me, her hand reaching down to unbutton her jeans, and I followed her hand down and in joined effort we pulled them off.

Leaving the erect bud, I ghosted my lips down her stomach, stopping at her navel to dip my tongue in the ruggedness playfully. I felt her muscles tightening, her hips sinking in the seat shortly, before raising up again. I nuzzled against her belly button, pressing light-feathered kisses, as I swiped my fingertips down her side. As she arched from the seat one more time, I preened as her skin covered in goose bumps.

Sensitive to my hand cupping her breast, she moaned softly, and stuttered, “You win, just please –” she cut herself off with a gasp, as I tugged her underwear down her thighs, and she rose for me to pull them off completely, discarding them somewhere on the car floor.

Grasping her thighs, I bent over her again facing her sex, at the same time throwing her legs over my shoulders. As I ran my tongue over her folds, her hips stuttered around me, her thighs clenching around my head and her heels digging in my back.

Unable to resist any further, I drove my tongue inside her, triggering another arch of her back, as she cursed under her breath. My tongue rolled against her one more time, drawing out a raw cry from Kate. Her hand landed in my hair, yanking slightly, before getting a grip and only holding on to me, as I continued my attentions.

When I slipped one finger in her, she shuddered against me, and after a few minutes of the joint effort of my mouth and hand, she tensed and dug her feet against my back, coming with a muffled cry.

Slackening back against the seat, I heard her exhaling a few times as she tried to steady her breathing. Smirking to myself, I covered her body with mine, draping myself over her and eyeing her expressions as she came down from her high.

The car smelled of our exertion, of sweat and sex, moist and tangible, and it was an invigorating taste on my lips as I sealed them over Catherine’s, tantalizing as our sweaty bodies rested in support against each other’s.

“Why don’t we go back to mine?” I provided once I broke the kiss, and once Kate lazily beamed at me, I found myself smiling back.

***

I woke up, for the first time in a while, without the help of my alarm. Arching and stretching under the covers, I blindly fumbled the bed around me, trying to find Catherine. When all that met my roaming hands was the cool flannel of my bed sheets, my eyes snapped open to check the fact, and then almost too desperately scanned over the room only to find it empty.

Resigned Catherine had left again, I flopped back down over the bed, suppressing the feeling of disappointment in my chest. I was about to reach for my phone, when the door cracked open.

Catherine’s voice greeted me, “Hey, you are up.”

Breathing a silent, hopefully undetectable, sigh of relief, I felt the knot in my chest easing at the sight of Kate in my shirt. _Only_ my shirt, with her bed hair rolling down her shoulders, and a tray carrying the unmistakable scent of coffee in her hands. I couldn’t stop my smile, and yet I felt bound to tease.

Raising the duvet slightly, I quirked an eyebrow at my naked body, and then glanced at Kate, retorting, “Well, not completely, but it won’t take much persuading.”

She rolled her eyes. “You are ridiculous.”

“You like it, though,” I responded, as she neared the bed, dropping the tray in my lap and sneaking under the covers next to me.

“You wish,” she responded, as she leaned in and pressed a fleeting kiss against my lips. Before I could deepen it, she pulled away, with the words, “Now, I don’t know about you, but I am famished. So, dig in.”

And, I did as I was asked.


	25. Catherine: Fire of Unknown Origin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An Ylvisaaker tradition - get the ladies in the cabin and you have yourself a lovely weekend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everyone!   
> New chapter finally ready(ish) for posting, though I apologize for the horrid chapter summary. The whole chapter is a mess, but so am I ^_^ The ending is a tad rushed, but I can't go back to it now. Sorry, not sorry.  
> And, I am babbling! So, anywaaaay, enjoy!

I stretched under the covers, reveling in the warm brush of the duvet against my body, and sank in the mattress even more prepared to continue sleeping, when I heard my phone buzz. Cracking an eye open, I sneaked an arm from under the cover and reached out to grab it from the nightstand. Bård’s name was the first thing I noted, and I opened the message, a smile already plastered on my lips.

_Your smile is the most beautiful one I’ve ever seen. Good morning._

My heart skipped a beat, and if I took a bit too long to ogle the screen and reread the message a few times over, well, no one was there to witness it.

Opening a response message, I hesitated for a moment, before typing out, _That smile exists only when I am with you._

My thumb hovered over the send button a few moments, as I debated whether it would be a good idea to send those words. Biting on my lower lip, I closed my eyes and pressed the button. When I opened them again, the message was already sent.

I was just about to drop the phone back on the nightstand when it buzzed again. Chuckling, I opened the new message as well.

_I have an idea for a weekend expedition. You interested?_

I looked over to the desk, where my dissertation laid open and in a complete mess, requiring my time and dedication, but then I glanced at Bård’s proposition, imaging his bright smile accompanying it. Weighing the options I had before me, I decided to make a combination of both what my degree required, and what my heart needed, and find a compromise.

So, I sent, _What did you have in mind?_

Not a few beats later, Bård’s response buzzed. _The Cabin._

 _Perfect,_ I typed out, already getting up and depositing the phone on the pillow, in order to pack up the document in a folder, as to be able to take it. I caught myself eagerly smiling, as I snatched the charger from the top drawer and shoved it in my purse.

A muffled buzz from the bed, I dropped the bag over the desk and went to sit on the bed, only to grab the phone and read out the message.

_I will pick you up in 30 minutes. Plan to stay the night._

The grin on my face was something I could hardly conceal. I began humming a random melody as I grabbed the barest necessities from around the room to sort them in my purse. It was a happy coincidence that everything managed to fit just right – from my jammies, toothbrush, over to the dissertation.

I washed up and freshened up, doing a double work in taking out the packed toothbrush and then shoving it back in my purse, but it didn’t diminish my smile. I put on the first pair of jeans I pulled from the wardrobe and a purple sweatshirt to accompany it, and deemed myself ready to go.

I turned around to make the bed, when someone knocked on my door.

“Come in,” I provided.

Adela’s voice chirped in, “Hey, I am glad you are awake. I have such a party planned for us today.”

The door closed behind her, and she sat at my desk, twirling on the chair to face me. I looked up from my task, and provided, “I’d love to, but I have something planned already?”

“Studying?” Adela inquired, and I didn’t need to look at her, to know she rolled her eyes disapprovingly at me.

“No, uhm,” I hesitated, “Bård asked me to go to the cabin with him for the weekend.” Ignoring Adela’s squeal, I simply proceeded. “I was about to come over and inform you. He said he’d be here in –” I paused, glancing at the clock, and ended the thought with a half-question, “five minutes?”

As though right on cue, my phone began ringing, and I picked up the call quite hastily. “Hello?”

“I’m here,” Bård informed me, ever so briefly.

Ignoring Adela mouthing nonsensities at me with a knowing look about her, I responded, “I will be there right away.”

I cut the call short, and shook my head at her, as I reached to pick up the bag.

“I am sorry, Adela.” I apologetically shrugged. “I promise you can pamper me next weekend as much as you want. It’s just –”

“Yes, yes, I know. Bård Ylvisåker comes calling and everything friendship stands for is lost.” Adela’s hands flew up, conveying an annoyance her face was not portraying.

“It’s not like that. He was the one who asked first.”

Adela smirked mischievously, a glint in her eyes as she stared at me. “I’m only teasing you.”

“That’s unfair, and might make me revoke the offer to go out next weekend.”

“No take backs. Besides you owe me. If it weren’t for me, you and that constipated ass would still be dancing around each other lamely.”

“Yeah,” I murmured, pointing a finger at her, “thanks for that, but I have to go.”

“Have a great time,” she said suggestively, winking at me.

“Thank you,” I responded, considering it the briefest answer I could give which would not evoke her to wiggle her eyebrows at me pointedly. Halfway through the door, I remembered to add, “Excuse me with your parents please.”

“Text me,” she called out after me. “I want details.”

I would have responded snarkily with a “Sure you do.”, but I wanted to see Bård as quickly as possible, and knowing myself and Adela, if we ever entered a competition of wits, it would take a century for us to give up on it.

Instead, I ran down the stairs as quietly as I could manage, and put on my sneakers, before heading out the door. Bård was, indeed, waiting for me by the car. I smiled at him, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, as I descended down the stairs. He was waiting on the passenger’s side of the car, and I scoffed at his constant wish to open doors for me, and spoil me senseless.

As I neared him, I greeted him, “Hei.”

I leaned in to kiss the smug smile off his face, and he floated closer, his hand laying delicately over my waist, pulling me against him. I broke the kiss, only to tease, “If you keep doing this, we won’t make it to the cabin.”

“Is there something wrong with me wanting to kiss my girlfriend?”

“No, but there is something genuinely wrong with you if you want to maul me in front of a whole neighborhood of people,” I daintily responded, allowing myself some flirtatiousness only to catch Bård off guard. His expression was everything I had aimed for – jaw slack in an adorable way, his eyes widened humoredly, and I couldn’t help but smile in triumph, allowing the happiness for my success to show.

“When we get to the cabin, you will pay for that,” he informed me, though I could hear the joke in his voice.

Still, I decided to tease. Leaning over him to reach for the door handle, I opened my side, and slipping into the seat, I cast Bård a gaze over my shoulder, eyeing him as innocently and seriously as I could manage, when stating, “Are you going to take me over your knee, _Professor_?”

Bård’s breath faltered, before I heard him cough against nothing, but I simply slammed the door shut and directed my gaze before me, mentally congratulating myself on out-teasing the tease. I casted a glance in the rearview mirror, only to catch a picture of Bård running the back of his hand over his eyes. I simply assumed it was because they’d watered, so I chuckled to myself.

When he sat on the driver’s seat, his entire face was red, and my smirk grew even wider, hiding my expression behind my hair. The benefits of a long hair, indeed.

Bård’s silence, as unusual as intriguing, was something I could have teased him about for a good portion of our journey. I just didn’t have it in me to go about the incident the harsh way, so instead I provided, “You okay?”

“Fine,” he responded, too shyly to actually complement in true colors his own open demeanor.

And, then, just to add zest to the conversation, “Are you sure? You do seem a little crimson.”

“And, it is all your doing,” he responded, casting a brief sideways gaze.

“And, you fueled it perfectly,” I retorted, giving a one-shoulder shrug.

Humming his approval, Bård remained silent otherwise, and in consequence I provided no other topic for conversing. The ride to the cabin passed mostly in silence, Bård focusing on the driving and I scanning everything along our road.

I loved the way I could be silent with Bård, and not feel awkward about it. I enjoyed the way how we could relax in each other’s company, how he made me feel safe and how I could be myself without second thoughts and take backs with him.

The thoughts of Bård being someone I could trust along with the landscape we passed along, lulled me to sleep undetected. I woke up when Bård made a swift turn to park the car. I snapped up from the dream, rolling my shoulders to ease the tension gathered there. Bård smiled gently at me, and it felt so intimate and domestic, so much so it made my heart skip a beat. I responded to the smile in kind, bringing the back of my hand to my lips to cover the yawn which built to the point of an inability to avoid it.

Bård was out of the car before I could process him getting out, and I took notice of it only when he was opening the door for me. Unbuckling my belt, I stepped out of the car, throwing my purse over my shoulder, and straightening my clothes, as Bård took it upon him to lock the car and pick up his own luggage. The fact his backpack was at least three times the size of my purse was, had me wonder how unaware I actually was about the length of his weekend adventure.

He seemed to notice my being baffled once he finished his task and we began our walk towards the cabin, most likely from my fixation on his luggage, and provided, “Most of it is food. We have to replace what we used up last time, and besides I am not interested in eating only pasta for the rest of the weekend.”

“Fair enough.” I nodded my agreement.

Bård continued his explanation, “I am only free till Monday afternoon, so if it suits you I was planning for us to head back Monday morning.”

“Works fine,” I stated, shuffling closer to him, so I could take Bård’s hand in mine, and I pressed against his side for the comfort of knowing his presence. He welcomed my touch, and in response leaned against me, saying, “I am so glad you agreed to this.”

“You should be happy you managed to reserve my time before Adela did, or you asking would have been a fruitless effort,” I explained.

“Well, it is the connection we share,” he elaborated jokingly. “You knew I’d ask.”

Shaking my head, I squeezed his hand once in recognition. “You and your clairvoyantly psychic babble again.”

Gasping in mock offence, he shared, “It’s no such thing.”

“I am not sure if you are denying that philosophy’s existence or my perception of it.”

Chuckling, Bård stated, “Well, the latter. Obviously.”

Responding with a chuckle, I changed the topic, “What do you have on Monday?”

“I needed some information regarding an article I am writing,” he informed me, matter-of-factly. “So, I set up an appointment with an older colleague. I can’t miss it, since he is pretty busy. I was lucky to get a chance to talk to him.”

“Uh, that’s nice,” I retorted. “What are you writing about?”

“Kate, I’d love to share all about my upcoming article,” he stated, and I could sense the hesitance in his voice, “but this is the first break I’ve gotten in a while –” and he paused there, clearly unsure of how to continue.

In order to ease his hesitation, I provided, “And, you don’t want to spend it talking about work.”

“Yeah,” he whispered, casting a glance at me, his eyes showing the guilt he clearly felt in dodging the question. “You mind?”

Craning my neck, I pecked his cheek, reassuring him, “Not at all.”

“Thanks,” he murmured, a shy smile dancing on his lips.

Pressing my weight against my boyfriend further, I smiled to myself, knowing he wouldn’t be able to see it. “Anytime.”

We reached the cabin, after a quiet walk – listening only to the sound of the life around us, whispering in the dance of the trees, and ringing in the birds’ song – both with beaming smiles on our faces.

My smile evaporated when a squeal left my lips, as Bård spun me around the moment we stepped inside the cabin, to press me against the door, dropping his bag in the process and reaching for my shoulder to push mine down as well. I smirked against his skin, as he skated his lips down my neck, tantalizingly trying to accomplish marking my neck with an undisguisable hickey.

I huffed a breath when his teeth grazed over my pulse point, and tangled my fingers in his hair, delving in his neck and scraping my nails provokingly against his skin. I felt his hiss before hearing it, and slowly pushed at his shoulders, not to make him step away but in fact with the intention to force him to move towards the leaving room.

He seemed to catch up with the memo, as he moved backwards to the very location I had in mind, his hands gripping tightly against my waist, flat and insistent in their pull. When I felt his back come upon the door, his left hand left my waist to blindly reach for the handle, and only then I pulled at his hair to raise his head, so I could seal my lips against his demandingly.

Only then, I felt the door give weight under Bård, and we stumbled in the room, giggling in the kiss. Instead of the cold air I’d expected to greet us, we were greeted with a warm room and a confused grunt accompanied with a quiet hawk.

Bård’s lips left mine momentarily, and both of our heads snapped in the direction of the interrupting sound. We were greeted with the sight of Vegard and, what I could at the time presume was Mary, the man standing with his hands on his hips and a raised eyebrow with his gaze clearly focused on his brother, and Mary with an amused smile on her face and her gaze flickering between us both.

“So, this is the Ylvisåker tradition, it would seem,” she provided first, breaking the tension which had settled in the room, providing a clearance for me to step out of Bård’s embrace, allowing his hands to fall by his sides. Self-consciously my hands snapped to the lapels of my vest, and my eyes twitched between the two people staring at us, when I heard Bård stutter, “Vegard, Mary.”

“Bård,” Vegard responded, looking away from his brother to rest his gaze on mine. “Catherine, it’s a pleasure to see you again.”

I knew just how flushed my cheeks were in consequence of the fiasco of our entrance, but Vegard being so relaxed regarding said occurrence stirred another wave of heat wash over my face, and I barely managed to respond with a hoarse, “Same.”

Not wanting to come off as rude because of my embarrassment, I added, “How are you?”

“I’m alright,” he provided with a curt nod.

It was only then, Bård spoke, seemingly recuperated from the shock, “What are you guys doing here?”

I intertwined my fingers, my fingertips working the back of my palms, as I tried to will my blush down.

“I presume, the same as you,” Vegard provided saucily, and I felt Bård tensing next to me, so I untangled my fingers and reached to clasp his hand, glad he took it greedily.

“Is anyone going to introduce us?” Mary queried, easing the situation once again, and I jumped at the offered opportunity, running my fingertips over Bård’s palm in encouragement to do just that.

“Kate, this is Mary,” he stated, gesturing with his free hand to the woman standing next to Vegard, and then proceeded, “And, Mary this is Catherine.”

“Pleasure to meet you, _Kate_ ,” she provided, stepping closer and extending her arm for me to shake.

Taking the offered hand, I responded. “Pleasure is mine.”

I had expected almost anything, except for an arm curling around my shoulders, and pulling me inside the room. I threw a glance over my shoulder at Bård, as our hands drifted apart, only to find him smiling at me encouragingly. I didn’t have time to ponder over anything, as Mary began a conversation, “They are being their creepy usual selves, and we ladies need to step away, before they make things even worse. Now, Jane told me you were beautiful, but she failed to explain just how much.”

I felt my cheeks heating again, as Mary urged me to sit down and I looked over to Bård, to find Vegard pulling him out of the room, hushing out, “Are you out of your mind?”

A lump formed in my throat at those words, and I my eyes snapped back to Mary, hoping she didn’t see me catch those words. I didn’t need the reassurance from her, so I was glad to find her pouring me a drink, her back turned to mine.

“So, how much convincing did it take Bård to drag you here?” she wondered, a small smile on her lips, as she handed me the glass.

I took it with a murmured, “Thanks,” before answering her question, “Not all that much, actually.”

“Uh, that is different,” she provided, surprise obvious in her voice, “I remember it took Vegard about three months of constant convincing before I consented.”

I found myself smiling despite my mind being focused on what was happening outside the room at the moment. I knew Bård liked me, but enough to go against Vegard once again was something I’d never expect, and was certain Vegard did indeed seem to disprove of me.

I sighed as undetectably as I could manage, focusing my attention on Mary, and deciding I could think Vegard’s opinion over when alone.

“What made you agree to come here the first time?” I inquired.

She chuckled, and then, “Vegard promised he’d stop asking if I came over for a weekend and then said I didn’t like to visit ever again.”

“And then?” I prompted.

“I loved it here, and it became our getaway place,” she paused, contemplating before adding, “and when the city became too much we knew where to escape. It’s easy and close enough in case of an emergency, but remote enough for a peaceful weekend.”

I nodded in understanding, because even though I had been here just once before, I already loved the place. Curling a strand of my hair behind my ear, I lowered my voice conspiratorially, “I think Bård had the same thing in mind when he asked me to come here for the weekend.” Raising an eyebrow, I added, “I think he might have missed out on the memo you were going to be here, and thus we found ourselves in a rather unorthodox position.”

Mary simply chuckled. “If you’d come over no more than five minutes later, believe me,” she stressed the last couple of words, “it would have been much worse.”

And, then we laughed, honestly and freely, shaking our heads at the bizarre ridiculousness of the moment. I sighed once my laughter subdued, happy to find that Mary had managed to make me relax and forget Vegard’s words for a brief moment.

As though on queue with my thoughts, the gentlemen stepped inside the room again and I felt my heart clench again.

Bård had an easy and happy smile on his face, and I smiled in response, ignoring the unsettling feeling buzzing under my skin for his sake.

I smiled at Bård as he made his way to me, and he sank by my side, engulfing me in a hug and pressing a chaste kiss to my temple. Wanting to make sure Bård was alright, I inquired, as unsuspiciously, unperceptively as I could manage, “Is everything alright?”

Before Bård could answer, however, Vegard spoke, “What do you want to drink, Bård?”

His eyes were fixed on me, and I snuggled against Bård, biting on my lower lip so that to keep tears from spilling down my cheeks. Allowing one shaky breath to leave my lips, I tried to obscure it as much as possible. I twined my fingers amongst Bård’s, just as he answered, “Whatever you are having is fine.”

Humming an agreement, Vegard bent over the table and filled a glass of wine. I was analyzing Vegard’s movements in attempt to catch anything to ease my mind, when I felt Bård’s breath tickle my ear, “Yeah, Vegard’s being nonsensical.”

“Alright,” I murmured back, as Vegard stepped closer and slotted next to Mary, after handing Bård his glass. His eyes then landed on mine again, his gaze cast over Mary’s shoulder.

I felt the tightness in my throat grow, and I lowered my gaze down to my drink, watching the red color cast shadows over my fingers. Bård’s fingers curled at my left side, resting his right hand over my stomach lightly. I downed another gulp of the beverage, before relaxing against him and resting my head over his clavicle. Strangely, I managed to relax more than I had hoped for, somehow being able to breathe despite the other couple next to us.

Until, that is, Mary spiked a conversation once again, “So, how was it you two met?”

I felt Bård tense for a moment, his fingers digging slightly stronger in my skin, and I cleared my throat, before asking him, “Do you want to tell this, or should I?”

“I kind of wish we didn’t have to tell it,” he provided, and once I looked at him, I saw the hopeful gaze he had fixed on Mary.

Mary’s smile was downright feral. “I am not letting it go.”

Vegard’s support came in the form of, “And, neither am I, but unlike my wife,” he paused, slotting his arm around Mary’s shoulders, right under her chin, before proceeding, “I know how to make you talk, like it or not.”

“Fine,” Bård snapped, though it was obvious there was no actual heat behind his words.

Mary was carefully looking at us, a small smile dancing on her lips, and I found myself smiling back.

“If you ever use this against me, I am telling mum and dad about the escapade with the red paint and the birthday cake,” Bård provided, his voice hiding all the mischief I knew him capable of displaying.

I could feel my eyebrows furrowing at the combination of objects which he presented, quite curious as to how exactly was that a possible compilation, and what had that in fact resulted with. Vegard’s eyebrows cocked, and he smirked, “I don’t think you are in any position to threaten me, Bård. How about me sharing what happened with our parents’ bedroom when they allowed you to throw a party at home on your eighteenth birthday?”

My hesitance and discomfort dissipated, impelled by the conversation, before I could rethink it, I fixed Bård with a gaze and inquired, “What did you do to your parents’ bedroom?”

“I am not sharing that,” he grunted, sending daggers at his brother, but Vegard only rolled his eyes and huffed a breath, before addressing me, “If he doesn’t, I will eventually.”

I smiled at him, unsure how to read into his behavior towards me. I could understand him trying to protect his brother, and that as older he saw it as his duty to safeguard Bård, but I flattered myself I deserved a little benefit of the doubt, and I also considered Bård deserved a little bit of faith in being able to choose what’s right for him. It just felt complicated, pretty much as it was.

“Anyhow, your story?” Mary insisted once again, snapping me out of my thoughts.

“We met on the night of Kate’s arrival in Norway,” Bård began the story, his lips hovering over my shoulder, allowing me to feel the ghost of his breath over my skin. Goosebumps rose over my arms, and I tugged at my sleeves to cover the evidence completely. “She was kind of lost.”

“And, he was kind of drunk,” I sarcastically countered, earning a pinch from Bård, and extorting a laugh from Vegard and Mary. They seemed greatly amused, despite Bård’s displeasure.

“No, I wasn’t,” he protested weakly.

“Really?” I skeptically inquired. “If I recall correctly, there is a certain street lamp standing slightly curved towards the street because it had to support your weight.”

“And, now you are just calling me fat,” he noted grumpily.

Both I and Vegard simultaneously retorted, “You are getting chubby.”

Laughter erupted in the room, and it only stopped when Bård continued, “Anyhow, she was kind of lost, and I helped her find her way, despite her initial skepticism.”

“I was convinced he was going to take me to a completely different part of the city,” I explained, shrugging. “But, to his credit, he did know where he was going – drunk or not. Except maybe for the moment when he ran into me.”

“Oh,” Mary enthusiastically chirped, as her husband snorted. He was smiling though, so I relaxed even more.

“Yeah,” Bård confirmed. “That was as much your fault as it was mine. But, damn! It did hurt.”

I shifted, so I could look at him properly, and raising an eyebrow, I stated, “Well I don’t know about you, but I had a bloody hand with a cut through my entire palm. I have the scar to prove it,” I finished, extending my palm out on the open, for Bård to see.

Mary rose from her seat halfway, her fingers pulling mine down, so she could see it as well. Vegard was also looking at my hand, but didn’t rise to inspect it further, so once Mary let go of my hand, I wiggled my fingers in front of Bård’s face.

He grabbed my wrist, and placed a kiss on my palm, once and then again, and my heart skipped a beat at every graze of his lips over the light scar. As he let my hand go, I rose it a little more and slotted it against his cheek, scraping with my nails against his jaw gently. He turned his face towards me, and before I could protest, his lips met mine in a kiss which drowned my squeak of surprise.

“Bård, stop it,” I murmured in the kiss, shying away from Bård when our lips parted, and I covered the blush rising high in my cheeks, by letting a strand of hair to brush down my face and cover it. Bård seemed unperturbed.

He inquired, “Where are Matthew and Jane?”

“We shipped them with Bjarte,” Vegard retorted, smirking mischievously. “The idea was some free time.”

“I already apologized for that Vegard,” Bård muttered, suddenly seeming upset, “so drop it, _please_.”

Raising both his hands, in what seemed defeat, he said, “Alright, dropping it.” There was a suspicious glint in his eyes, which to me said, Bård would have to deal with this aftermath again sometime soon.

At that Mary jumped from her seat, parting from Vegard, and addressing me, “Kate, would you like for us to get dinner ready?”

Pecking Bård on the cheek, I got up and followed Mary to the kitchen. We got to work, silently organizing the dishes, and getting everything ready. I let her take lead, mostly because she knew better as to what the brothers’ preferences were. Digging out everything we could manage from every nook in the kitchen, we set on a meal each, and strangely, managed to work without tripping each other and getting in the other’s way. It was at the very least, comfortable.

Somewhere along the preparation of the meal, Mary murmured an excuse to withdraw, and I assured her she could take her time. It was my assumption she intended to call her kids and check on them, if Bård’s descriptions of her insistent calling were anything to go by.

Shaking the thoughts away, I smiled to myself, and began humming an improvised melody, changing the rhythm with every sway of my hips. I stirred the sauce on the cooker, twirling around to dig out dishes to set the table, only to freeze on my spot at the sight of Vegard leaning on the doorway of the room.

“Hey,” I weakly acknowledged his presence.

“I am sorry if I startled you,” he responded. “I want to talk to you about something.”

Nodding, I scratched at the back of my neck, inquiring, “Yeah?”

“I think I owe you an apology,” Vegard informed me, matter-of-factly, startling me with his admission.

I wasn’t sure that was entirely fair to either. I said nothing of the sort, simply, “How come?”

“I might have doubted your affections for Bård without having any reason to,” he replied, his lips twitching in an attempt to become a smile, failing completely.

“You don’t have to apologize for anything.”

“No, hear me out,” he cut me short, and my mouth snapped shut. He took the opportunity to proceed, “I’ve seen Bård around girls since he started dating, and he was always the kind of guy to fall for someone so quickly and trust so blindly, a picture of ingeniousness, if you ask me. And, it has been worse since we began to work in the showbiz,” Vegard trailed off for a moment, making me think he would stop his narrative there, but then he continued, “And, I thought that you –” and at that point he cut himself off.

I cut the silence short, filling up for his words, “And, you thought I was the same.”

The guilt on his face was obvious, and I felt myself forgiving him for everything he’d ever said or thought with regard to my intentions towards Bård. He proceeded, “I did think that or had my doubts at least. Not with the intensity you might imagine, but at a certain point somewhat. It didn’t seem to me just now as though you are like that, which is simply adding to the impression I had when I first met you.” He chuckled weakly, and added, “I just want to say this, if you are not serious about Bård, make sure to end it before either one of you gets more immersed in the relationship. This isn’t me ordering you to do so, this is me fending for my younger brother.”

“Rest assured Vegard,” I provided immediately, “I am certain about Bård. I don’t know how it will end, but I look forward to finding out.”

“Good,” he said, nodding. “I also owe you a thanks. For convincing Bård to talk to me about Maya, and about what was left unsaid.”

“It seemed only right,” I spoke, those words being the only thing I could master. “besides, I didn’t do much.”

Breathing in and out, I was caught completely off guard by Vegard’s next words.

“You got me my brother back, and I am glad he has you.”

I could feel tears welling up in my eyes, but I managed to hold on to them, barely. “Thank you, Vegard.”

“I will leave you to it,” he stated, gesturing to the food simmering on the cooker.

“Yeah,” I whispered, following Vegard’s departure with my gaze, and then returned to the task at hand.

The smile which blossomed on my face was unavoidable, Vegard’s words easing a burden I wasn’t aware of carrying up until that moment. It felt as though the tension bleeding in my veins had eased, and when Mary returned to the kitchen, our silent work proceeded.

The dinner was soon ready, and when Mary and I headed to the living room with the intention to set the table, both hands occupied with plates, we found the brothers whispering about.

Both their heads snapped up at our entrance, and strangely enough I didn’t mind. Not much could dishevel my recently gained easiness.

We passed the dinner making small talk, and after clearing the table, levitated back to the sofa. I was slowly easing into sleep, my head rested over Bård’s shoulder, as he and Vegard proceeded with their attempts to outsmart the other.

I yawned against my palm, my eyelids fluttering closed and I snuggled against Bård’s chest, firmly intending to fall asleep right there.

Mary’s chuckle made me open my eyes just as she got up from her seat, grabbing Vegard’s hands and pulling him with her, explaining, “If we let them, they will spend the whole night bickering and throwing jokes at one another. So, I am going to grab my man and drag him in our bedroom, and you grab yours and we can call it a night,” she finished, winking in my direction with a beaming smile. “I will see you in the morning.”

It seemed, even though unplanned, this weekend would turn out just fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.S. Q&A for those who follow the story and are still reading (my hopes aren't high) - would you like me to end this with a Cathrine or a Baard chapter?


	26. Bård: I Love You, Goodbye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everyone! Forgive this chapter, it was written in times of excessive sleep deprivation, unfathomable stress and explicit desire to tell everyone to shove it ^_^ 
> 
> I hope you enjoy it, nevertheless!

My heart picked up a few notches when I heard the front door open and then lock shut. I smiled knowingly, it would be only another few brief moments before Kate would step inside. My heart, restored to the glory of a teenager, was beating for that moment. I shifted in my seat, dropping the book I was reading over my lap, and flickered my gaze towards the hallway.

“Hey,” Kate greeted me the moment her eyes landed on me.

“Hey,” I echoed, as she neared me. Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, she leaned down and planted a fleeting kiss on my lips. When she pulled away, there was a smirk on her lips, and then she murmured fondly, “I never saw you as the sort of guy to sit at home and read books in his jammies. Must say – kind of pathetic. Old man.”

In the same teasing manner, I responded, “Must say I didn’t expect you to be the kind of girl who sends stingy insults at her boyfriend instead of kissing him senseless.”

Gasping, she quirked an eyebrow at me. “I wasn’t aware my kissing got you senseless. Such a compliment from you, indeed, is entirely surprising.”

I couldn’t stop myself from snorting. “You are crazy.”

“Takes one to know one,” she mischievously provided, shaking off her jacked and throwing it on the armchair, along with her purse.

She headed towards the couch again, and before I could process her actions, she was stationed in my arms, with her back pressed against my chest and her head tilted to stare at me, resting over my shoulder.  “How was your day?”

“It was alright, rather boring without you around,” I admitted.

A shy smile crept on her lips, and she murmured, “Did you at least get some work done?”

“Covered more than enough,” I provided. “Which is why I decided to grab a book and wait for you.”

“Naturally.” And, then her lips were pressed on mine, her hand curling in my hair, half resting over my cheek, and half twirling the short strands around my ear.

Shamelessly, I moaned into the kiss, my arm circling her shoulders in an attempt to pull her closer.

She broke the kiss with a gasp for air, and returned to resting on my shoulder. Taking it as a queue I picked up the book and continued where I’d left off. Engrossed in my read, I hadn’t even taken notice when she’d fallen asleep; I only became aware of it, when calling her name didn’t provide any response. Unwilling to wake her up, I pressed a kiss on her forehead, smiling at my luck in having her, before I returned to the book, allowing its contents and Catherine’s relaxed breathing to lull me into sleep, as well.

I woke up with Catherine cradled in my arms, both of us splayed over the sofa, and my book resting on the floor.

Twisting out from underneath her, I got up from the couch and then leaned in to pick her up. Easily, I gripped her tight and lulled her body in my arms. Catherine stirred only enough to snuggle against my shoulder, and then proceeded to remain asleep. Up the stairs, I headed for my room – not missing a beat and oddly feeling domestic – and pushed the door open with my foot.

Catherine’s breath was hot and ticklish over my neck, as was her hair dangling over the back of my arm. By some magic, I managed to move the duvet aside before I placed her on the bed. I made sure she was comfortable, allowing myself a moment to observe how beautiful she seemed all relaxed like that.

Shaking the thoughts away, I pulled the duvet over her and tucked her in. Kneeling over the edge of the mattress – my toes digging in the carpet to keep me upright – I tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and pressed a kiss on her temple.

I was about to leave the room when a hand settled around my wrist.

A croaky voice inquired. “Bård?”

“Hm?” I smiled.

“Stay,” came the murmur. I couldn’t decline.

***

Catherine’s hair was tangled in my fingers when I stirred to awareness. Her breath was hot at the crook of my neck, tingling the skin over my collarbones in a coolness of its delay. And, the length of her body was flushed against my left side, her legs strangely intertwined with mine, aligned with my feet outside the extent of the covers.

I couldn’t help but smile, before pressing a brief kiss on top of her head. She smelled like cocoa milk, so alluring I didn’t fail to breathe in again, my nostrils flaring along the way. Catherine kept teasing me when I did that, and I was glad she was asleep and wouldn’t notice this time around.

My hand slid from her hair down to the core between her shoulder blades, tracing the soft skin there in an aimless pattern, stopping shy of the edge of her shirt. I loved how light blue looked against her skin, it was an easy color which showed just how lovely her skin tone was.

“You breathing in my hair is _still_ kind of creepy,” she suddenly proclaimed, startling me, as I hadn’t noticed her waking up. In spite of myself, I did tense underneath Kate, until her hand trailed up my chest and settled reassuring over my pulse point. “The offer to land you my shampoo still stands if you want to take it this time around.”

The huff of breath I released couldn’t be helped, and I responded, “I think I like it better on you.”

“That’s even creepier,” she stated, but I could hear the fond amusement in her voice. “What time is it?”

Glancing at the clock on the nightstand, I replied, “Six thirty.”

“Good,” Kate mused.

A few moments of silence passed, and I thought our conversation was over for the time being, but she seemed to have something additional to say.

“Bård?”

“Hmm?” I inquired.

She raised her head to lock her gaze in mine, and tentatively said, “I love you. You know that, right?”

My heart galloped in my chest unevenly for a couple of moments, and I paused, before reigning in my surprise, and stating, “I know. I love you, too.”

Kate smiled at me shyly, adding, “I know. Now, I am gonna go back to sleep, and you keep being the creeper you are, without disturbing that.”

I smirked, but provided no retort and she settled back over my shoulder and shuffled against me, cuddling closer. I did the same in return, smiling at finally having said the words I had longed to say for months. Kate being the one initialized it, gave me that much joy.

***

Kate’s decision to spend the day working in the library, explained with an insult to my inability to allow her some space, was at the same time the best and the absolute worst decision she had made. Worst, mostly because, I indeed spent the whole day pacing up and down and pacing around the house in a fruitless aim to find her. Best, since after spending half the day in aimless wander, I decided it would be about time for me to do something.

Something, which allowed me to work and simultaneously think about her, was preparing a surprise, and it ended up being the well enough cooked meal and the neatly decorated dining table I was fussing over during a good portion of my day. It was, in my opinion, decent enough to pass, and I was happy for that. Catherine’s reaction was something I had to work on preparing for, in case it turned out to be a negative one.

Deciding on a more romantic theme, I settled on dimming the lights to the minimum and ended setting up a few candles here and there to heighten the mood. I felt ridiculous given I was focused on every little detail a tad too much, but it didn’t matter in the end, as I got the design I had in mind done.

Knowing the time Catherine planned on stopping by and her impeccable timing which never faltered, the wine was already poured and the food cooling, when I heard the front door opening.

The distinct thud of Kate’s purse falling to the ground reached my ears next and I smirked to myself, picturing her expression of hatred for gravity at the time.

When she stepped in the room her expression carried a discomfort which I recognized as one of a long day of work, and she seemed focused on her feet, her eyebrows scrunched. Upon looking up, her eyes roamed the room hazily for a few brief moments before she seemed to realize her surroundings, and a small, pleased smile eased on her face. Her tiny gasp contained more emotion than what I should had ever imagined to want, “Bård.”

“Hey,” I greeted.

Her smile spread, reaching for her eyes and making them light up, when she inquired, “For me?”

I nodded, but instead of replying the obvious, I provided, “I would have reenacted our first meet,” I shrugged, as to further illustrate my being against the aforementioned idea, “but I didn’t think you would appreciate being pushed down on the pavement after a whole day at the library.”

“You were entirely correct,” she provided, mocking all honesty behind those words, though the statement was indeed true. At that point I realized it was about time I finally admitted to myself I was too in love with her to stay immune to her English sense of humor. Thus, I cracked a smile.

Picking up the bottle from the table, I shook it midair, and stated, “Come on, I got your favorite.”

“Is that so?” she provided, one eyebrow eloquently and elegantly raised.

Nevertheless, she stepped inside the room with a smile plastered on her face. I simply grinned as a response without a moment of delay.

***

Kate was set on going out with Adela despite my protests. And, I knew she was entitled to it and didn’t mind it one bit, except for the part where it ruined my afternoon plans. In all fairness, when said plans included lounging on the couch and chatting, I knew Kate would banish them entirely. I also knew I wasn’t going to be able to fight her wishes off, the moment Kate said she had been neglecting Adela of late. The friendship meant a lot to her, and in consequence to me as well. So, instead of pouting, I decided to join the company.

Which was how I ended up listening to their chatter and bickering for three hours straight without getting a word in. Not that I minded. They were hilarious, and I got to ogle Kate as much as I wanted without her snarky comments about being annoying in my liking her.

I was enjoying myself, all in all, until –.

“So, are you all packed for Monday?” Adela wondered.

Kate was about to reply, “I – uhm,” only I didn’t allow it.

“Monday?” I inquired, eyes focused on Kate, as I felt my heart lurch in my chest. “What’s on Monday?”

My throat went dry when it was Adela who answered. “Well, she is going home.” And, as though she took notice of my expression only then, she tumbled on, “Oh, God. You didn’t tell him, did you?”

I spared a glance at the girl, only to find her looking at Catherine incredulously. At least, I wasn’t the only one realizing the wrongfulness of the unsaid.

“Not yet,” Kate sarcastically noted, and though usually I would have found it endearing, I now saw it only as provoking.

I huffed despite myself.

Kate either missed my attitude, or ignored it in favor of asking, “Could you give us a moment, Adela, please?”

“Yeah,” Adela responded, and then just walked away, further down and out of earshot.

“You are going back home on Monday?” I asked almost right away, flickering my eyes from where they had trailed after Adela, to lock on Catherine’s gaze.

Sighing, she stepped forward slightly, and replied, “I do have a thesis to defend in three weeks, Bård.”

It was a calm response, though my mood clouded my judgment enough to force me in perceiving it as reprimanding. So, instead of addressing the fact of my being defensive, I used an attack instead, “Yeah, I am aware,” I scolded, “but I still thought you were going to be here for at least two more weeks.”

“I can’t spare that time, as you well know. You have been in my shoes, and you know the obligations,” she replied, hastily.

Shaking my head in the clear disappointment I was reflecting, I inquired, too fueled for my liking, “When were you planning on telling me?”

“I don’t exactly know, Bård.” She shrugged, tilting her head to the side in the process, and hesitantly providing, “I was just waiting for the right moment, I guess,” she paused for a brief moment, flickering her gaze away, before locking it with mine, “just –”

Not letting her finish whatever she had in mind, I snapped, “Just what? Huh, Kate?”

“I just wanted for us to hang out peacefully without that looming over our heads.”

Not trying to reign my anger in, for whatever reason, “What you wanted? How about what I wanted in return? Or was it that my desires didn’t matter?”

“Bård, please,” she pleaded, “I only wanted _us_ to be relaxed for a little while longer.”

“And, you thought everything would be alright until the day before the flight –” I waved my hands in the space between us, flexing my fingers, and snarled, “when you’d just _boom_ share it with me out of the blue?”

She opened her mouth to speak, nothing but a weak syllable of distress slipping past.

In my anger, not good enough of an excuse, but certainly good enough of a drive, I added, “Or, were you just planning on leaving without saying a word like that morning? You can’t sneak out of a relationship, Catherine.”

I regretted the words immediately, even more so when she drew in a shaky breath lowering her gaze to presumably look at her shoes, and then closed her mouth to swallow around nothing.

I reached out towards her, but she ducked away from the touch, and not meeting my gaze, whispered, “Given your cordiality, maybe it would have been better.”

With those words she turned around to walk away, and I reached out again to snare her wrist. I wasn’t letting go all that easily. She stopped, never turning around to face me completely, and I croaked, “Kate, I am sorry.”

“Forget it, Bård,” she provided, tugging her arm free from my grip. “We both knew this wasn’t going to last. You don’t have to stick around pretending anymore.” Not trying to understand what she meant by it, I was about to move and hug her, when she looked at me.

The defeat I was met with had me stopping mid step, and her words riveted me to the spot completely. “I am sure I will manage to find my way to the airport alone, professor Ylvisåker.”

With those words, she turned around again and continued her stride. I couldn’t confirm for sure, as I only thought it were my senses which provided the illusion of Kate saying, “Goodbye, Bård.”

Nevertheless, I tried calling out one more time, “Kate, please.”

She never turned back, and when Adela joined by her side and threw a worried glance over her shoulder in my direction, I knew Kate wasn’t planning on waiting for me.

I remained standing there, looking at her retreat, until I lost her in the sea of people – trying to ignore the nagging void in my chest.

_We were over._ And, it was _my_ _fault._


	27. Catherine: Going Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aftermath of the fight...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Makes inane noises* Hi!
> 
> I seem to be stingy on words today, so don't hold it against me, please. I hope you all enjoy! ^_^

I could vaguely feel Adela’s presence by my side when I stormed out of the mall and towards the group of cabs parked by the entrance waiting for customers. Slipping inside, I shifted on the other side of the seats, allowing Adela to slide in as well, and provide the address for our destination.

Bård’s words were ringing in my ears.

_You can’t sneak out of a relationship, Catherine._

My head snapped right, in order to hide the tear rolling down my left cheek from Adela. Given the fact she was entirely quiet, without any reprimanding lectures at bay, she was aware of what had happened between me and Bård more than what she was letting on.

I ignored the knowledge of the fact in order to gain control over the lump growing in my throat, before it managed to further overpower me. Another warm tear slipped past my eyelashes, burning at the top of my cheek and cooling in its rain down my skin, before it fell on my shoulder and continued a slow descent along my arm.

_Was it that my desires didn’t matter?_

My fingers clenched around the door handle on my right, my nails digging in the plastic just on the verge of painful as I fought back a gasp.

_I love you, too._

I closed my eyes, my wet cheek scraping against the leather as I slumped in the seat, defeated. Feeling the dampness of my lashes made me turn my head even more, raising my shoulder to wipe away most of the trail from the tears.

Remaining silent, I tried to return my labored breathing in control, showing the strongest of restraint against the new wave of tears battling my eyelids to escape. Adela seemed equally silent next to me, and I focused on her steady breathing to calm down.

Once I was sure I wasn’t going to start crying again I opened my eyes, and without looking at Adela, fished my phone out of my purse and opened a new message. I typed out the text and added the recipient, breathing in deeply. My fingers hovered over the send button. Reading the message once again, _Mum, I’m texting to let you know I’ll be coming home with the first available flight (will send details later). I’ll explain when I get there. Let Fred know. Love you. See you soon.,_ I clicked the button and sighed, when locking my phone.

The idea I had had of spending the weekend at the cabin with Bård, before asking him to drive me to the airport on Monday morning, was now gone. Bård had even agreed on my wish, without knowing the objective – but, it seemed the intention to invite him over with me back home had been entirely foolish.

When the cab stopped in front of the house, I stepped out and headed inside immediately, leaving Adela behind to take care of the payment. I slipped my shoes off in the hallway, and headed for the stairs right away, running up them quietly towards my room and huddling inside.

Once the door clicked closed behind me, I leaned over the wooden surface. My head was thrown against it, the weight of my bag sliding the girdle down my shoulder and onto the ground. I slumped even further, sliding down and crunching on the floor.

My heart was thumping dully in my chest, causing a discomfort so intense, that I had to gasp for air to ease it slightly.

A knock came lightly on the door, before Adela’s voice announced her. “Kate, can I come in?”

Scampering to the side without getting up, I called out, “Yeah.”

The door creaked open right away, and Adela walked inside, glancing around before her eyes snapped in my direction. She gave me a compassionate smile, and I barely managed to uplift my lips in return.

Nodding mostly to herself, rather than to me, she stalked off to the bed and took a seat. She provided, “You okay?”

Not trusting my words, I shook my head and chewed on my lower lip, averting my gaze from Adela’s. “Did you hear all of that?”

To her credit, she didn’t lie. “I did. Well most of it, the rest I filled out on my own.”

I hugged my knees towards my chest, resting my chin on top of them and stated, “That’s why I was afraid,” and then, without waiting for her response, I provided, “I am going home right away.”

With those words, I got up and stuck my hand underneath the bed, pulling out the suitcase laying there and unzipping it immediately.

“I know you wanted for us to go out and have fun until Monday, but –” I cut myself short, sure she would understand.

Indeed, she did, since she finished my exact though, “You don’t feel up to it now.”

“Pretty much,” I confirmed. “I am going to pack up and call the airline to see if there is a free seat on one of tonight’s flights.”

“Do you want me to take care of that for you?” Adela asked, motioning to the suitcase.

“Starting it would be helpful.”

With that, Adela got up and headed for the wardrobe, and I picked up my purse from the floor and took out my phone to sort the ticket issue. I headed for the desk to sit down a moment, feeling dizzy, but stopped halfway, in order to, “Adela?”

She looked at me, questioning, “Yeah?”

Nodding, I provided, “Thank you.”

By the end of the day, I was at the airport, saying goodbye to Adela as I waited for the call for boarding. I hugged my friend tightly, trying to convey all gratitude I felt. She seemed to sense that, and hugged back as tightly.

“Once I am done with the dissertation,” I provided, when we broke apart, “you will come to stay in my home for a change, and since you managed to persuade me shopping was great and going out was fun, I am going to force you to see the whole of London.”

The threat was light, and Adela grinned at me, “I would like nothing better. So, until then.”

As if on queue, my flight was being called out.

“Until then,” I responded in kind, stepping closer to give Adela one last hug, brief but no less honest and longing. “Bye.”

I was going to miss her. And, Norway. And… well.

***

The door opened before I managed to get the second ring in. I knew Fred was already asleep, as mum texted me she had threatened him into bed. So, just as she opened the door, I threw myself in her arms and let the gathered tears roll down my cheeks freely.

“Oh, Katie,” my mother breathed out against my neck, and everything in me broke twice as much. “Come,” she urged, “we should step inside.”

So, I did. Heading for the living room, I deposited my weight over the sofa, sinking into it instead of sitting down. I bowed my head until my chin touched the sternum, and only then I allowed myself to exhale all the tension I had gathered in me throughout the day. I rolled my shoulders, running my hands through my hair, my fingers routinely and deftly sorting out the crooked strands.

I wiped the tears away with a flick of a wrist, knowing their ability to change things is virtually next to none. _‘When it gets hard, Katie, remember to fight it with the best in you. Remember the good, the positive, the honest.’_

My eyes snapped to my father’s picture standing in its usual spot, and I asked myself in a whisper, rather than him, “How am I supposed to remember the good, when all I can think about is the broken?”

I swiped the new tears away, anger at my helplessness building up in me, and I looked towards the kitchen where I could hear mum ravaging through the cupboards, in what was most likely an attempt to find the kettle.

I pushed myself up and headed towards the source of the noise, only to step in the kitchen slowly, not wishing to give mum a scare. She seemed to sense me almost right away, and turned to throw me a small smile over her shoulder.

“I thought you could use a cup,” she provided, raising the kettle slowly, so I nodded. I really could.

“Thanks,” I croaked out, just barely audible.

I pulled up a chair and sat down, only to have mum join me by the table once she set the kettle on the stove. The whisper of the water burning up against the building heat was the only noise filling the silence of our kitchen. The window just in my line of sight showed the dark night gloomily, due to the light from the ceiling.

I sighed, sniffing once, remembering it was such a slow, dark night when I met Bård. It was on that night I had realized some people still had a little good in them, and it was Bård Ylvisåker who made sure to show me that.

I bit my lip, guiltily glancing at mum for my spacing, only to find her staring at me with an understanding look on her face. I was pretty certain my expression mirrored hers faithfully from when we lost dad. I knew I remembered my mother’s look from then, so I didn’t need her confirmation to know the grimace on my face carried an enormous resemblance.

“You really did love him very much, huh?” she asked, tentative, careful not to breach the border of pain. Irony was, whether I spoke about _him_ or remained silent, cooking thoughts without sharing them, it still hurt like the blazing fires of hell, or as I at least assumed they would.

Despite being aware she already knew the answer, I nodded, before shrugging. The words simply couldn’t seem to form, thus inadvertently forcing me to remain silent.

Mum murmured, “Do you want to talk about what happened?”

I bit the inside of my cheek, debating. I knew it might ease the horrible feeling clenching my chest, but I also couldn’t figure out where to start. I was aware of the intense desire to burn myself red under the shower’s stream, before tugging on some old jammies and clutching a pillow to my chest while curling under couple of blankets, letting time take away every mixed feeling, every anxious crawling under my skin.

Instead, I provided, “I am not exactly sure. One moment we were shopping and joking around, and the next Adela is mentioning my coming back here, and everything went to hell.”

Mum was looking at me, so I smiled, but it came out bitter and fake at best.

“I didn’t tell him I was coming back so soon, even though I assume he knew, and was only unwilling to admit it to himself,” I paused, finishing the thought there. My fingers curled behind my ear to wrap the strand of hair away from my eyes, before I proceeded, “And, we fought. Said things I didn’t mean to say. I just childishly retaliated at his words.”

Mum hummed thoughtfully, before inquiring, “What did he say?”

“He brought up the morning when I ran away. Accused me of being unable to share I intended on coming back home sooner. So, I snapped back, in a way.” One of my eyebrows arched, the bitterness in my throat a sensation I was already getting accustomed to.

Mum sounded reprimanding. “He shouldn’t have done that.”

“I broke it off, because he had a point,” I paused, sucking in a breath, “I should have told him the second I booked the ticket.”

Silence set in the kitchen, the boiling water the only noise present. Mum got up to get the tea ready, and I remained seated, following her every step and every move. She busied herself, and I waited.

My heart skipped a beat as I remembered Bård’s shuffling in the kitchen when he used to prepare food. How his eyebrows would furrow in concentration, whilst his fingers would deftly dance around, completing task after task. I could vividly picture Bård’s body swaying around the tiled floor, his black sleeves rolled up to his elbows contrasting his pale skin, and his beaming smile as he would cast a gaze over his shoulder towards me.

“Here you go, Katie,” mum’s voice broke me away from my thoughts, and I was greeted with her up close, a blazing cup of tea being pushed in front of me.

We drank the tea in silence, an occasional mundane question here and there, before I finished the drink and headed upstairs to retire for the night. Mum remained in the kitchen to clean up after us, so I sneaked up the stairs and creaked the door of Fred’s room open to cast a glance inside. Fred was soundly asleep, but I didn’t want to risk waking him up, so I eased the door closed and headed to my room.

Throwing the garments of clothing off me, I discarded them on the floor and uncaring for the mess I had made, dug out a pair of jammies, got dressed and sank under the covers.

It felt awkward being back in my bed. I had just gotten used to the one at Adela’s, so this time around it was my own bed which seemed strange. I hated that feeling, always, as it never let me sleep. This time around, it was no exception.

I rolled about in bed for a while, before I decided torturing myself further wasn’t worth it, so instead I got up and pulled out my laptop from the bag, opening it and locating the folder full of movies. There were a few there I still hadn’t seen, but I wasn’t looking for something new to watch. My wish was to watch something romantic, sad and painful, so I could cry my eyes out and pour my feelings in tears in order to feel a little better. So, my choice ended up being, ‘Me Before You’ as it never failed to make me cry.

Halfway through the movie tears were already sliding down my cheeks at the all too familiar storyline. I rolled the drawer of my nightstand open, pulling out the Kleenex I knew was there, and pulled out a tissue to wipe away the tears. They kept coming, as expected.

It was good, since once the credits started rolling, even though my face was all red and blotchy, my chest felt more relieved than I had expected.

I rose from my seat and deposited the laptop on the desk, before doing a quick check of my email and shutting it down. I returned to bed, covering my entire face with the blanket and lulling into restless sleep.

I was up before the sun managed to rise over the horizon. My phone informed me it was a little after five. I groaned as I buried my face in the pillow, but I knew any attempts at falling asleep anew would be pointless. So, I hissed once, before throwing the covers away from my body and changing into my clothes.

I left my room, with the dissertation between my underarm and torso.

I ran to the bathroom to wash off the sweat of my face, before I headed downstairs and went directly to the kitchen to make what I was certain would be my first, but not last, fix of caffeine for the day. I set the coffee in the living room and opened the document, deciding to read through the paper in order to locate any lingering mistakes.

What that mostly summed to however, was me blankly turning pages, thinking about Bård and what passed between us, until Fred woke up and held me in an embrace for five minutes, before pulling me out the door to shoot hoops in the backyard.

At the end of the day, I was grateful. Mostly because due to the excitement of the day, I didn’t manage to find the time to think of Bård in the slightest. And, because that evening I retired to my room showered, exhausted and fell into slumber moments after settling on the pillow.

I did dream of Bård, though. And, I held on to that dream, unwilling to wake up in the reality.


	28. Bård: The Weight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After thinking for ages about how to extend this chapter and make it more than it is, fix all the lame descriptions and add a proper idea behind it... I couldn't think of anything, so here it goes.
> 
> Enjoy!

I was beyond nervous, ringing on the bell of Adela’s house unannounced. Kate didn’t know I was coming over to take her to the airport – I had not called, but there was no way I was letting that scene at the mall be our last interaction. There was no way I was letting her go without trying to apologize first, even if the try was desultory. I loved her too much to be able to leave without one last attempt at making it work.

When Adela opened the door, I felt my heart skip a beat. I knew I was early, but there was still the fear of them having left earlier. I sagged in relief, providing a greeting, “Hey.”

“Bård, hi,” she greeted back with a small smile tugging her lips, resting her head on the edge of the doorframe. If she was at all surprised to see me standing there, she didn’t show it. “What can I do for you?”

“I was hoping you’d let me in so I could talk to Kate.” I hopefully provided, my eyebrows twitching in a restless way which I was convinced looked ludicrous.

“You can come in, but Kate already left for England.”

“Oh,” I responded, already mapping the closest route to the airport in my mind, “well in that case I will try and catch her at the airport.”

“No, Bård, she left three days ago,” Adela provided.

Chills ran down my body. “She is gone?”

“Yeah, she said she didn’t have a reason to stay anymore and rebooked the flight,” Adela elaborated, stepping aside and inviting me in with a simple head tilt.

I had a feeling it wasn’t going to be a good conversation. But, I still stepped inside.

***

I threw the keys in the bowl the second I stepped through the door, and began tearing off one article of clothing after another, heading upstairs for the shower. I dumped the pile on my bed, unmade as it was, and headed in the bathroom.

Standing under a hot spray of water, I finally allowed myself to think back to Adela’s words from earlier, _She only stayed that long because of you, Bård._

Reaching for the shampoo, I squeezed a generous amount on my palm and delved in my hair, trying to sort my messy thoughts through digging my fingers in my skull.

_I think they wanted her back a month ago or so. She only stayed for you._

My eyes burned under the spray of water rolling over me, as I tried to hold on to the scream threatening to slip from my lips and drown in the noisy fall of water. I scrubbed all sweat from my body, aching at the memory of Adela’s painful words.

_She said she was right to assume it was just for a little while. I tried talking sense into her, but…_

I remembered how Adela’s headshake was both disappointed and dismissive at the same time, and my heart lurched in my chest anew, just as it had done when she had spoken those words the first time.

I turned off the water, after rinsing my body, and shook my head to splatter the droplets of water hanging on the strands of my hair. I stepped out the shower cabin, running my hand over my face, resulting in forcing small springs of water from what had gathered in my eyebrows to end up trailing down my neck.

Snatching a clean towel from the cupboard, I wrapped it around my waist, and proceeded to dig out another in order to have it thrown over my shoulder. I returned back to the bedroom, all the while rolling strands of hairs between two ends of the towel, feeling the material soaking in the water under my fingertips. Grabbing the towel firmly with my left hand, I pulled a drawer open to dig through my clothes, in order to snatch out a pair of boxers.

Continuing to dry my hair, I twisted my fingers in the other towel, untying it from around my hips, only to let it drop around my ankles. Shifting my weight, I pulled them on, and after giving my hair one last tug, threw myself under the covers and dozed off in a restless slumber.

After all, when nothing goes right – go to sleep.

***

I woke up with a pounding head, and the constant ringing of the doorbell didn’t help my headache in the slightest. I groaned as I flipped the covers over the edge of the bed, not bothering to prevent them from crumbling to the floor.

“Ugnh,” I sounded.

I groaned as I rose from the bed, paddling down the stairs and ripping the door open with a stressed, “What.”

Vegard’s quirked eyebrow and his calculating expression greeted me. He didn’t even blink at the lack of punctuation in my greeting. His voice sounded a thin line away from menacing, “Well, I was wondering where my brother was.” With those words he pushed past me inside, leaving me no choice but to close the door, which I slammed in order to prove a point, and then I followed him inside.

The reproaches came the second I stepped inside my living room. Vegard was already seated, and he stated, “Is there are a reason I can’t get in touch with you a couple of days in a row?”

“None of your business, Vegard,” I couldn’t help but snarl, before heading for the kitchen and grabbing a bottle of beer from the fridge.

Vegard’s voice greeted my turned back from the doorway, “It is when I leave messages, and he doesn’t respond.” He followed my lead and grabbed a beer for himself, just as I popped my own open. Snatching the beer opener from me, he used the moment, to make me look at him and declared, “I _worry_ , you bastard.”

I snorted.

A hand collided with the back of my head, hard and unyielding, snapping me out of my rudeness. And then my ear shell was twisted, and I was being dragged back in the living room and deposited on the sofa, Vegard’s voice determined, “Now talk.”

“Nothing to talk about,” I stated, lamely and unconvincingly, rubbing my reddened ear shell once it was released.

I didn’t meet Vegard’s eyes, since I knew just how unbelieving his expression was. His next words confirmed my thoughts, “You know I can bully if I need to and I am not giving up on this until I receive a reply which I deem convincing enough.”

I took one deep breath and informed him, “Kate broke up with me.”

“What? Why?”

Humming sarcastically, I said, “Because I was a dick, and said something I shouldn’t have.”

“Did you try and talk to her?” Vegard inquired, “Did you apologize?”

“I tried the second I said the words, but she didn’t,” I trailed off, knowing Vegard would understand. “I went to pick her up for the airport on time for the scheduled flight, but –”

After few moments of silence, my brother carefully prompted, “But?”

I swallowed around the lump in my throat, responding, “She had moved the flight and was already home at the time.”

Vegard’s eyebrows furrowed on their own accord. “Did you call her?”

“I don’t think this conversation should be over the phone, ironically.”

Vegard hummed as a response, before inquiring, “So, I take it you have a plan?”

He knew me so well, and I appreciated that at the moment more than I thought I would. “Yeah, I was thinking I should go when she is supposed to defend her dissertation?”

“Are you sure that is best?” he wondered, thoughtful. “The audience and the stress, what if she blocks when she sees you?”

I wasn’t denying the thought had crossed my mind, and I had already preceded Vegard’s thinking, so I had an idea regarding that already. “I will scamper in the back, and talk to her afterward.” As an afterthought, I added, “Besides, then it would be a lesser likelihood she would punch me in the face.”

Vegard chuckled, stating, “It wouldn’t stop most people, but I don’t think she would, even if it were in private.”

“I know,” I murmured, nodding my agreement as well.

Vegard gulped a drink from his bottle, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed. “So, when are you going to England?”

“Something over two weeks.” I stopped a beat, before stating, a little longingly, “I’m going to get her back.”

“I am sure you will,” Vegard stated, dropping his bottle on the table, before slapping his palms over his thighs and wondering, “So, how about I get you completely wasted tonight?”

“I thought such fiascos were forbidden,” I stated.

Vegard smirked. “Not under my watch, and this is a different circumstance. Your pining can be sensed all the way to my house. So –” he trailed off.

My response was but a whisper. “Yeah. Okay.”

I did need it, and if it would stop the ache for even a little, then I was willing. And, since Vegard approved, I knew it would be good for us to relieve our teenage years, even for one night.

“I am going to get the leather pants out,” I proclaimed, much to Vegard’s amusement, since he grinned at me his flamboyant smile and winked approvingly.

I knew I was going to regret it once the hangover hit me like a freight train.

I couldn’t care less.


	29. Catherine: Surprised

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kate is defending her thesis and the rest is a surprise...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everyone! It's been ages - I am so sorry. 
> 
> I've been super busy, whilst trying to write on plenty of other projects (most of which are unsuccessful). If there are those still waiting and reading this story, thanks for your loyalty! All mistakes are mine.
> 
> The next chapter is likely to come out by the end of the month, for those interested!
> 
> I will stop rambling and let you enjoy now!

I scanned one last time over my work, trying to remember the highlights I had to mention during the lecture. I knew it was better to have a full auditorium to talk to, mostly because too many people meant not having to focus one’s gaze on one person in general while speaking, and yet I couldn’t stop the nervousness creeping up my spine.

Pinching the bridge of my nose, I tried to steady myself by breathing in and out in evenly, trying to remember something happy to calm my nerves.

_Bård’s_ smile, and his eyes. The way he would trace my movements as I wrote, and the way he would reach out to point something out. The way he would skate his fingertip over the paper as he teased about the mistake. The way his frame fit against mine when he’d hug me, and how his arms wrapped around my waist. How he’d rest his chin on my shoulder, before he would land a kiss on its crook tentatively. The way he smirked when he proved me wrong, and the way we could spend all day in silence and it would still be the best time of the week. And, everything _Bård_ in general.

“Katie,” mum’s voice broke me from my reverie, and I shook the thoughts away to consider how I had missed her approach.

Flickering a glance towards the entrance of the auditorium, I inquired, “Is it time?”

“You should be getting inside,” she responded. “Come on, Katie. And, good luck once again.”

“Thanks mum,” I murmured, and gave my mum a hug, before entering the room.

The members of the committee ware already settled, and I stepped in front of the room. Setting up the laptop, I connected it to the projector and turned around to check its functionality. Using the fact I was turned with my back towards the room and no one could actually see me, I closed my eyes briefly, took a deep breath and then turned around to face the audience as I began laying out my work.

After laying out everything I had planned, I paused, and considering how to conclude I decided, “To paraphrase what a friend once told me, ‘Architecture reflects a building like character reflects a person.’ Just as we all look out to figure out the makings of a person, the same way I tried to pick up what it is that deciphered my case study.” Pausing for a moment I provided, “Thank you so much for your attention. Are there any questions?”

When the Q&A aspect of the lecture ended, I breathed out a sigh of relief. Biting on my lower lip, I stepped off the podium once the rest of the room began piling out. Smiling, my mum along with Fred, got up from their seats to greet me. Fred wrapped his arms around me, hugging tightly, and he stated, “You did it, Kate.”

Casting a glance towards the committee, I smiled at Fred, and provided, “I sure hope so.” Gulping, I turned to face mum in order to ask her, “How did I do?”

“You did great dear,” she assured, resting her hand over my shoulder, clearly waiting for Fred to step away so she could pull me into a hug as well. Before she could do so, my professor’s voice greeted from behind me, “Catherine.”

Turning around I met the man’s gaze and retorted, “Professor.”

“Congratulations, Doctor Fox,” he felicitated, a polite smile on his face as he extended his hand for me to shake.

“Thank you, professor,” I beamed at him, shaking the offered hand.

Scratching his beard, he informed it, “I believe you will have to wait for official results, but I just had a word with our colleagues, and they were satisfied with your work enough to confirm it.”

“Thank you so much for the information,” I replied, nodding curtly.

“I will leave you to celebrate,” he provided, “We will see each other by the end of the week, I am sure.”

“Yes, professor,” I responded, “Have a good day.”

“Thank you, Catherine.” With that, he walked away.

I turned around to face my family in order to proclaim success, but all I intended to say vanished at the sight which greeted me. Happiness and pain, at the same time, blossomed in my chest and I felt my lips attempting to move, but nothing seemed to come out. Behind my mum, a few steps away, stood no one but Bård himself.

His gaze held mine, as he hesitantly approached us, and when he stopped I noticed my mother and brother had already turned around to look at him too. I glanced at mum and then at Fred, only to find him already looking at me, smiling encouragingly.

“Hei,” Bård provided, voice hoarse. “I can see congratulations are in order.”

His smile was tight, as though he was restricting himself, and his whole countenance was rigid – looking less like his relaxed, carefree self.

Finally finding my voice, I cut my analyzing short before responding, “Thank you, Bård.”

Unknowing what to say, I remained silent.

My heart skipped a beat as his lips twitched at the name, the small smile still not reaching its potential. He looked _good_ , as usual. But, he also looked tired – his eyes were bloodshot, and everything about him spoke of how little he had managed to sleep the night before.

But, it didn’t stop his devilish self to look so alluring with his mused hair – a strand curled behind his ear, as well as his half-crooked tie strangely adding to his charm.

My heart skipped a beat when I took notice of his shaking hands. He was _nervous_ , and a nervous Bård meant he wanted to talk. My heart skipped another beat, and I couldn’t prevent a shy smile.

Then my mother cleared her throat. Snapping out of my assessment, I provided, “Mum,” I motioned towards the man whose attention was directed to my mother, “this is Bård. And, Bård this is mum.”

My mother outstretched her hand right away, and Bård shook it, as she said, “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Bård.”

“Pleasure is all mine, ma’am,” he responded.

“Young man, that makes me feel older than I really am. Call me by my name, please.”

“Very well,” Bård confirmed softly.

“How about we head out now?” My mum inquired, glancing at Fred before her eyes landed on me.

I gave her the confirmation she inquired after, “Yeah, let’s.”

As though Fred could read my mind, he grasped mum’s hand, tugging her towards the entrance, allowing Bård and I to remain behind alone. He fell into a pace by my side, the length of our arms brushing as we walked side by side out of the building.

I kept my gaze fitted on mum and Fred, forward, mostly aiming to avoid Bård’s gaze altogether. I did enjoy the reassuring warmth of his presence on my right, and it took more willpower than I could have very predicted, to prevent myself from leaning against him and resting my head over his shoulder.

Seemed Bård was willing to break the silence first. “Is there a chance I could persuade you to go for a cup of coffee with me, and postpone the celebration with your family just a little while?”

“It’s the least I can do,” I provided, “since you came all the way from Norway.” It was easy going back to our teasing manner without any intense attempts. Judging by the shy smile on Bård’s lips when I glanced at him, he seemed to have nothing against my words. Unsure, I inquired, “Do you know how long are you staying in London?”

He shrugged, murmuring, “Not yet.” He paused there, sucking in a breath and cracking his neck left and right, before providing, “I wasn’t going to decide until talking to you.”

“How about this?” I inquired, before relating my suggestion, “I will go and excuse us with mum, and we can grab a cup of coffee at the café around the corner and talk, and then we work from there.”

The hasty nod accompanied by the beaming smile from Bård required no further verbal confirmation as to his agreement to the proposed, so without missing a beat I headed towards where mum and Fred were standing, and once approaching, “Mum, Bård asked me to talk and I proposed going for a cup of coffee. Is that okay?” I couldn’t stop the justification, “I will be back home as soon as possible.”

“It’s okay, Katie,” mum reassured, “You talk to him and take your time. Besides it is still early, so we will have plenty of time to cover everything planned. Just sort it out, yeah?”

“Okay, mum,” I responded, a small smile shying on my lips.

“Oh, and Katie. Bring him over for dinner,” mum mused, a smirk on her lips and a glint of mischief in her eyes.

Trying to avoid addressing the implication of her words, I provided, “I will see you guys at home.”

I was about to make my way to Bård, when I felt Fred’s fingers wrapping around my wrist, tugging gently. Looking at him, with a slight twist of my body angling to face him, I waited until my brother provided, “Good luck, Katie.”

Letting out the unexpected chuckle those words woke up in me, I said, “Thanks, Fred.”

The unsaid, “I will need it.” remained weighing heavily in the air, and on my shoulders as well as I made my way back to Bård. He was standing almost exactly where I left him, but his gaze was following me, and I found it difficult not to blush under it.

I set on biting my lip and willing my cheeks to cool down. Once I was in Bård’s earshot, I provided, “We are excused. Shall we?”

“Yeah,” he murmured, falling in a pace by my side. He paused, before asking, “How are you?”

“I am good,” I informed him, elaborating, “The preparations for today kept me busy. Yourself?”

A huff of breath preceded his words. “I am good as well, I think. Better now, in any case.”

“Should I seek an explanation to those last words?”

To my absolute astonishment, Bård chuckled. “Better not.”

I joined in.

We arrived at the café after a couple of silent minutes later, as I tried to understand Bård’s being by my side, as well as his quiet demeanor. I failed both, and once we stepped in the café, I knew I wouldn’t have to dwell on it for too long. Bård asked for this solely for the purpose of talking to me, which meant I’d soon have all the answers to the questions roaming my mind.

We grabbed a seat at the back of the café, away from all praying ears. As he sank in the chair opposite me, Bård opened his mouth to talk, only to be prevented by the waitress approaching our table and asking, “What can I get you?”

“Earl Grey for me, please,” I provided, before resting my eyes on Bård, waiting for his order.

Before he could speak, the waitress twirled his way and flirtatiously provided, “And, what can I get _you_?”

I tried to hide my surprise, and eyed Bård while attempting my best to not burst in laughter. He seemed ignorant of her more than obvious flirting, which I found even more entertaining and amusing. I pressed my lips tight.

As I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, he declared his order, “A cup of cappuccino for me.”

“Okay,” the waitress replied, before, “Anything else I could get you?”

“That would be all.” I wasn’t really up for her prolonging what I had hoped for since my gaze landed on Bård. “Thank you,” I addressed her swiftly, my eyes widening the second after she gave me a stink eye and stalked off proudly. I gasped and whirled around to gape after her.

“Wow,” I breathed out when I faced Bård again. “That was _something_.” I couldn’t help but stress the word.

Bård’s baffled expression had me shaking my head at him. He still seemed unable to catch on, and inquired, “What are you talking about?”

I only then realized he was so not because he was uncaring, but because he was entirely oblivious.

“About our waitress making a pass on you?” I half-asked, half-teased.

His gaze snapped to the front of the café, and I smirked when his eyes widened and he ducked his head with equal haste, a blush high on his cheeks.

“Is she looking this way?” I wondered.

Bård’s blush deepened by a tenfold.

“Oh my God!” I gasped, trying to grip a hold of my squealing, “She _totally_ is.”

My laughter escaped me without any notice and my shoulders began shaking with it. When Bård looked at me, his expression was as could only be described as pained. Over what exactly I couldn’t be sure.

And, I wasn’t, until he provided, “I am sorry. I would never flirt back, okay?”

“You don’t have to apologize for that,” I assured. “And, I know you would not. Besides, come to think of it, I am not judging her taste in men.”

Bård’s blush returned, taking me by surprise. It was then, the waitress returned with our order, placing my tea in front of me and Bård’s cappuccino before him, and asked once more, “Are you sure there isn’t anything else I could get you?”

“We are good, rest assured,” Bård stated, keeping his cool, and his gaze never shifted away from mine. He was downright _adorable_.

And, there was a certain café I was sure couldn’t visit ever again.

Bård’s next words captured my attention. “Kate, I’ve been beating around the bush. The talk was supposed to happen back at the university, but meeting your mum wasn’t in the plan. I somehow missed the part your family would be there. And, neither was the fact you’d end the presentation with my words. Why did you?”

“Because it felt real, and I know you love architecture, so it was right.” I shrugged, keeping Bård’s gaze locked on mine, as I confessed, “And, I missed you.”

Something in Bård’s determined expression softened, and I felt all his diffidence crumble down.

“I came to apologize for my words that day at the mall,” he stated next. “I am not going to lie and say I don’t entertain hopes of us going back to how we were, at least one day, because I do. I still love you, and what I said was wrong. I was too blinded by my wishes, not seeing you had your own to tend to as well.”

He gulfed in a breath, pulling the cup closer, before continuing, “I spoke with Adela and the conversation was more than illuminating. I’m sorry I was too immersed in everything else as to ask about your dissertation. It was selfish, and so was I, because it has been so long since I had been happy. I was happy with you and it didn’t take any effort whatsoever on my part, so I tried to hold on to it desperately. I know I ruined it, and I know I might have lost my chance, but I had to apologize. I had to ask for forgiveness.”

He finished with but a whispers as his eyes fell on the cup in front of him, and I was torn between feeling ecstatic at those words or sad over the pain in them. I settled on reaching out over the table, and curling my fingers around his palm, giving it a light squeeze. I waited for him to set his eyes on me, before saying, “I forgave you long before now, but if you need to hear it. You are forgiven. Also, I am sorry too. What I said wasn’t nice either, and was also unfair to both of us. My words were rash, and my attitude uncalled for, no matter what you said.”

Taking a deep breath to calm the frantic beating of my heart, I added, “And, considering I entertain the same thoughts, do you want to give us another chance? No secrets, no hesitation, no fights.”

“As long as we can bicker,” he provided.

Beaming at him, I squeezed his hand once more. “We can bicker. And, we can throw pillows at each other, as long as we are honest. How about that?”

“I think that sounds good.” His entire face lit up, and his hand tightened around mine.

My heart skipped a few beats.

“Not that I am not having a great time here, but I have a very intense feeling there is spit in my drink and my murder is being elaborately planned,” I elaborated, before twisting my head towards the exit. “So if you don’t mind, can we head out?”

Bård nodded enthusiastically. “Of course we can.”

Unable to prevent my teasing nature, “Perhaps you _should_ cover the bill.”

Bård’s sip of the drink ended with a cough. “I will leave that to you, thank you.”

With a smirk, I eyed him, before making sure to take care of the bill. Bård seemed tense throughout the whole ordeal, and only when we stepped outside the café did he relax, the astir line of his shoulders easing with a swift roll. Allowing a strand of my hair to curl down from behind my ear, I hid my smile behind it, and waited for Bård to talk.

“So, where to next?” Bård inquired.

Cocking an eyebrow upon glancing at him, I provided, “How about, now that I have you on my territory, I surprise you?”

“Am I going to like this surprise?” he inquired, hesitant.

Shrugging, I retorted, “I don’t see a reason why you wouldn’t. After kidnapping me to the cabin, I can be allowed some revenge. Or can’t I?”

“Indeed you can, but I dislike surprises.” If Bård’s smile was anything to go by, he didn’t seem too perturbed over the prospect of being surprised. He was only aiming to tease.

Managing a crooked smile, I informed him, “And, yet, here we are.”

We hailed a cab almost immediately, Bård latched onto my side and our fingers intertwined. It seemed so effortless stepping back to our easiness, it seemed a second nature to be by him. We spent the drive exchanging events from the time we spent apart due to our foolish fight. We laughed and teased, and most importantly we held each other tight, embracing the comfort, our feeling and shared trust.

I saw realization dawn on Bård’s face when the cab stopped at the entrance of the cemetery, and after I paid the driver and we stepped out of the car, I gripped Bård’s hand in mine and said, “There is someone I’d like for you to meet.”

His smile was shy, soft and I didn’t hesitate to pull him down the path to my father’s grave. He followed in pace. His hand, which was reassuringly tangled in mine, gave a light squeeze before leaving the touch so he could curl his arm around my waist. I leaned into him, and we walked in silence until we reached our destination.

Without stepping away from Bård, I murmured, “Hi, dad.” On its own accord, my hand snapped to rest over my father’s tombstone, while I continued, “This is Bård.”

I don’t exactly know what I expected to happen, but Bård’s next words were something I didn’t imagine in my wildest dreams.

“Hello, sir,” Bård began, slowly, as though he was testing the waters hesitantly. Trying out to see my reaction, but it seemed my hand easily resting in his was reassurance enough, since he proceeded, “I didn’t expect I’d get to be here today, but your girl is full of surprises,” and at that moment, he stepped behind me, surprising me. His hands wrapped around my waist, and he rested his chin over my shoulder, whispering against my ear a promise, “And, I intend treating her right as long as she will have me.”

I chuckled in spite of the tear rolling down my cheek. My arms rested over Bård’s and he leaned against me even more. My head lulled back against his shoulder, and I allowed a shaky sigh to escape me. The tear fell from my chin, so I reached up to wipe its trail. Before I could, however, Bård’s fingers skated over my cheek wiping the salty trail away.

We stayed there a while, embracing each other in quiet reverence for my father, allowing the breeze to entertain a dance around our bodies. It was peaceful, and was a moment, which somehow in spite of how prolonged it grew, I wouldn’t mind it continuing even more.

***

When the car pulled up in the driveway, Bård and I stepped out once we paid the cabbie. Taking his hand, I walked towards the house as I pulled him along, and simply murmured, “This is home.”

He smiled at me. “I like it.”

Mum opened the door before we even reached it, leading me to conclude she must have seen us through the window. She smiled once she took notice of our entangled fingers, and as we stepped inside, pulled Bård in an embrace and proclaimed, “Welcome to the family, Bård.”

I tried my best not to blush. My failure was utter and complete, yet I didn’t mind in the slightest.


	30. Bård: Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A family gathering with the Ylvisaakers!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **This is the end, everyone!**
> 
> Well, this story has been a journey I will remember forever. I feel my heart trying to beat out, through my chest, and though not entirely because of my posting this final chapter, it still has a great part in it. 
> 
> Oh, dear! It is going to be difficult to say goodbye to every line in this work, thanks to you all loyal readers, who made me love the story more than I ever thought I could. I was honored I could make you laugh, cry and even refresh some memories of your own; I was excited about every comment and happy for all kudos - so, this is my turn to say _Thank you, all! You are the best, guys! <3 I will miss you! _
> 
> I'd love to hear your thoughts on this chapter or on the whole story this one more time! **Enjoy the read, my friends!**
> 
>  _Lots of love!_
> 
> Your writer girl,  
>  _Catherine Fox_

Catherine was happy we were organizing the family gathering, I could see. The moment she saw her mum and Fred arriving at the airport, her entire face lit up like that of a child being given a treat. I was quite certain her mother was surprised by the strength of the embrace she was received with, and Kate didn’t let Fred out of her reach the whole ride back to the house. She was ecstatic to see them. And, I was happy in consequence.

The day of the intended, and too long planned, backyard barbeque everything seemed perfect. The sun was up high in the sky, everyone made it in time – for a change – including the always-late Bjarte, and everything was going according to plan.

Only, I couldn’t socialize with my family as I normally did, not when I couldn’t get the picture of Catherine throwing up that very morning out of my mind, as much as I tried. Whenever I managed to relax even the slightest bit, one look at Kate and the thought would worm its way back into my head, making me restless again.

She seemed better though. However, I still couldn’t stop myself from casting worried glances her way, yet she shook all of them off with an easy smile each time she caught me staring at her purposefully. And, I would have believed her easiness, if I hadn’t seen her whispering around with her mum throughout most of the course of the morning, and in the process, also throwing her gaze towards me to make sure I hadn’t realized the interchange. It might have been that I was also looking from the corners of my eyes no matter where. And, it worried me because I couldn’t catch anything.

The only other thing I minded about the entirety of the family being at one place was the constant teasing I was subjected to. Such as that of my brother’s at the time, which actually had me go through the inner monologue of the pros and cons of Kate’s idea. I would have born it with ease, and even teased back, except my mind wasn’t in that game.

“You know, if you keep scowling like that, your eyebrows will stay like that forever,” Vegard selflessly provided his usual dosage of sarcasm, his presence firm and steady next to me.

Pointing a finger at him, I altered my expression, and responded, “Shut up.” It didn’t sound as teasing as I had imagined it would be and ended up more edgy and terse, but my attention was engaged elsewhere as for me to care enough to provide an apology. Besides, if Vegard was addressing me with jokes to lighten the mood, I assumed he wasn’t going to want for one.

I could feel the change in his demeanor after those words, as well as the carefulness in his voice upon the inquiry, “Is everything alright?”

“I am not sure,” I murmured, “Kate’s been off all day. She seems –” I paused, and for a lack of a better word added, “Distracted.”

“Maybe she’s just tired. You know best how being a professor isn’t easy,” Vegard provided, but I knew – even though my brother was trying to reassure me – that was not the case. I’d seen Kate tired, and this wasn’t tired.

Looking away from where Kate was standing and conversing with dad, I felt it would be best confiding in someone, and there was no one equal to Vegard when it came to hearing me out. “I saw her throwing up this morning –”

“So, naturally you start worrying,” he murmured, scolding. “Did you even ask her about it?”

I pursed my lips, before answering, “Yes, I did, but she just said ‘It’s nothing’ and went about her way.”

A hum came from Vegard. “And, you don’t believe her because?”

“She hasn’t eaten since breakfast, her hands keep twitching towards her stomach and she is whispering about with her mum far beyond their normal rate. And, I am worried.”

Vegard’s hand landed on my shoulder blade, and he dug his fingers in my flesh, drawing away the tension, of which presence I wasn’t even aware. “How about you relax a little, and have a good time, and when she is ready she will tell you what’s wrong, if there is something wrong in the first place.”

Putting on the best fake smile I could provide, I stated, “Yeah, alright.”

An unimpressed quirk of an eyebrow greeted me. “It would take much more than that to fool me. Go and talk to her, or leave it for tonight. We are all here, the day’s beautiful, Kate seems happy, so will you please just – for the love of God – stop behaving like an Alpha male guarding his mate.” With those words he headed towards Mary, as she had waved him over, only to throw a last remark over his shoulder, “Family’s gonna start thinking you’ve finally lost it.”

“Fuck off,” I thoughtlessly retorted, which had me under the wrath of a few female gazes, two of which – those belonging to Mary and to my mother – didn’t fail to scold me, “Language.”

“Shit, sorry, oh faen –” I rambled on without meaning to – perceiving Vegard’s amused smirk – until Kate stepped in and heading towards me provided, “I better steal him away, before he writes us a whole list of curses, huh?”

Her hand trailed down my arm as she passed me, and her fingers grasped mine as she tugged me inside, and I couldn’t help but follow.

She faced me only when we reached the kitchen. A small smile was dancing over her lips, and her fingertips were still drawing patterns over my palm.

“Are you okay?” she whispered, her eyes mapping my face, before settling on my gaze.

Childishly, but not any less worriedly, I countered, “Are you?”

She chuckled. “That’s not answering my question. What’s wrong?”

“Why do people keep asking me that?” I defended, powerlessly.

“Because it’s obvious something is indeed wrong. And whichever discussion had Vegard throw a joke at you must have been something serious,” she insisted.

My eyebrows furrowed on their own, and I wondered, “How did you know?”

“Oh, please,” Kate rolled her eyes. “I have a brother, too. I recognize a lighten-up joke when I see one. So spill it.”

“I’m worried about you,” I blurted.

A smile eased on her face after those words. “What? But, why?”

“You threw up this morning, and you haven’t eaten anything since.” I paused to observe her reaction. She appeared perfectly calm, and it made some of the anxiousness fade away. “You are twitchy too.” I added as an afterthought.

“I am twitchy?” she asked in a half-squeal, amused.

Unable to explain it, I simply shrugged, not meeting her gaze. Her hand dropped my fingers, and then I had a hug full of Catherine. And, my heart skipped a beat – unsure if the meaning of the moment was something good or not.

She pulled away with a sigh, “Oh, Bård. I assure you I am perfectly alright. The only reason I haven’t eaten yet is because I am not hungry and I am waiting for my wonderful husband to start the barbeque,” she murmured, while leaning in to plant a kiss on my lips, “and once he does, I will dig in and probably eat more than he will.”

“Now, that last is impossible,” I murmuring, finally relaxing at her reassurance. Though a small voice at the back of my head kept reminding me, she had still not addressed my mentioning her toilet escapade from the early hours.

“I’ve opened up quite an appetite of late,” she murmured, hugging me once again. I let my hands wrap around her frame, and allowed my chin to rest on her shoulder, as my eyes slipped shut. We stood there for a few minutes, just embraced, rallying the silence of the kitchen.

I opened my eyes when she murmured, “You know, about –” but once my eyes landed on a full glass of wine standing on the counter, I stopped her and wondered, “Whose glass is that?”

Pulling away she twisted to look at it, before replying, “Mine.”

“Well, why is it inhere then? And, why is it intact?” I squinted at her.

She beamed at me. “Because, I am not drinking today.”

“But, it’s your favorite.” I countered.

Her smile only grew wider. “It’s not like I don’t want to. I can’t.”

She glanced towards the backyard, and after presumably finding what she was looking for, looked back at me again. She began, “I was planning on telling you this tonight, but you are your curious self as usual and left me no other choice.”

My alarm was already on. “Is anything the matter?”

“You’ve become more of a drama queen if at all possible. It’s nothing bad, I think. It’s just,” she paused, locking our gazes and intertwining our fingers, before announcing, “You are going to be a dad.”

“I –, What?” I stuttered over my words, because, _what._

Catherine was grinning, a glint of amusement in her eyes. I was so lost I didn’t know what to say, so I bit on the inside of my lip, trying to process the information. My heart was beating wildly, and I was too dizzy to think of hugging my wife.

“Earth to Bård,” my wife’s voice echoed in the empty kitchen, “You are starting to scare me, darling. You still with me?”

“So, you are pregnant?” I managed to finally voice out. “With a kid?”

“That is how it generally works, yes,” she murmured sarcastically, hushed; her fingers curling around my neck, as she gently raked her nails over the skin. The motion had me relaxing for long enough to realize the lack of enthusiasm I had displayed.

But, before I could do anything regarding the issue, Kate was asking, “Hey, it’s a good thing, right?”

“Yes!” I exclaimed, “God, yes.” Waiting no more, I wrapped my arms around Kate, picking her up from the floor and twirled around the kitchen with my lips pressed against the juncture of her neck, all the while chanting yesses.

Her arms wrapped around my neck, and I found myself grinning as she erupted in laughter. “Bård,” she tried, but I wasn’t letting go. Only thinking of the presumptuous horridness of my thoughts that very morning made me unwilling to do so. Instead, I sealed my lips on her neck, pressing a firm kiss on her skin.

Her fingers tangled in my hair, and she scraped her nails over my skull. “Darling, I am going to need you to put me down for a moment, please,” she stated, as polite as ever.

I did as instructed, but I didn’t leave the hug. Instead I held tighter, until Kate slowly untangled herself. I felt her hand cradling my cheek and I looked up to face my wife. In the craziness of the moment I had completely forgotten to kiss her.

“Are you crying?” she inquired, wiping the trail of tears with her thumb, before leaning in and kissing me. Gasping in the kiss, I deepened it the moment she allowed it, and pulled away before the kiss grew more heated than proper.

“Is my Bård back now?” she teased, a smirk plastered on her lips.

“He is,” I murmured, leaning in for another chaste kiss. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, Bård.” Resting her hands on my shoulders, she bit her lip before saying, “Now please be a sweetheart, and start the lunch?”

“On it,” I provided, and with a kiss, I headed for the door.

“You know, with a kid around, you really are gonna have to watch your language,” she mused, “Or _try_ to, at least.”

“It would be my absolute pleasure,” I retorted.

“Good, now move it. I’ll be out in a minute.”

I exited the house unable to hide my grin, already planning on kissing my wife senseless that very evening. Suddenly, the day seemed brighter than I had remembered, the idea of being teased and annoyed by the entire family less of a necessary endurance and more of an easy nonchalance.

I busied myself with my wife’s order, not stopping my daydreaming relating my family. _My family._ Moving out of habit, I allowed myself to contemplate on the gender – my child’s gender, and already began forming ideas for the design of their room, whichever the case. I knew I would have to redecorate at least a little, and I was already mapping out which room would be most convenient. Those thoughts stirred an impatience in form of a pleasant buzz, the need to know if I were to have a girl or a boy too overwhelming to ignore.

Kate’s voice broke me from my reverie, “You are twitchy,” she whispered conspiratorially.

Unable to stop myself, I threw my head back in laughter, “I really gave you an excuse to throw that back at me, didn’t I?”

“Yeah,” she responded kindly, resting her hand over my shoulder, as she leaned in to peck me on the cheek. “Ease up on whatever is roaming your mind. There is plenty of time to plan.”

“I completely forgot to ask you,” I stated, the realization only dawning on me then, “But, how further along are you?”

“Two months, give or take,” she replied. “I still haven’t gone to the doctors, since I wasn’t even aware of it until mum suggested it. I found out this morning.”

“Then we’ll go together on Monday.”

She didn’t reply anything to those words. She didn’t have to, as I knew she had planned so already. However, her next words took me completely by surprise, “Do you want me to tell Adela right away or do you want us to keep it a secret from her the longest?”

I smiled, asking, “You think she is going to go crazy?”

“I think our child will be entirely spoiled by her, and the scary thing is, we won’t have any say in it.”

Chills surged up my spine and I shivered, visibly. “Better keep it a secret, then.”

Kate fondly rolled her eyes at me, before changing the topic, “Oh, by the way, Vegard is going to approach you the very moment I leave you alone.”

Glancing at my brother hastily, and upon finding him immersed in a conversation with Mary, I looked back at Catherine and raised an eyebrow, inquiring, “What makes you say that?”

“He is twitchy too,” she mockingly joked.

Sighing, I asked, “You are never gonna let that go, are you?”

“I will be telling that story to our grandchildren,” she responded affectionately, before adding, “Vegard noticed the change in your behavior, as I am certain everyone here did as well. He is just the kind of person that can inquire without being thrown out.”

Finding myself at a crossroad, I nodded. “And, what should I tell him?”

“I leave that decision entirely up to you. If you want to tell him, you do that. If you want to tell everyone today, I have nothing against it.” With that she turned around, but she barely took a step, before throwing me a look over her shoulder, and adding, “So, dad, I leave it up to you.” Winking, she walked towards Mary and my brother.

And, she was right, since the moment she joined them, Vegard excused himself and headed my way. He smirked knowingly when he approached me, and as much as I wanted to scowl back at him, I found myself incapable of doing so. Instead, I tried my best to prevent a full grin.

“So, you are cheery,” he began, “Did you finally follow my advice, and actually spoke with Kate?”

“I might have,” I confessed.

“Atta boy,” he replied proudly, “And, what did she say that made you so happy?”

Debating if I should share, I glanced over at Kate and observed her easy smile as she conversed with Mary, Jane plastered by her side, and the decision was made.

“I am going to be a father,” I announced happily, flickering my gaze towards Vegard, to find him grinning at me. He didn’t seem surprised in the slightest.

“I believe congratulations are in order, brother,” Vegard provided, “How further along is she?”

“How do you people remember to ask that?” I murmured under my breath, aiming for it to go undetected, but my brother nevertheless caught it.

Chuckling, he questioned, “How long did it take you to ask?”

I shrugged. “A good number of minutes.”

“Well, I do have more experience with the ordeal.” He smirked. “So?”

“She is not entirely sure, but around two months,” I babbled, too happy to care how hyperactive I seemed.

Vegard’s hand landed on my shoulder, and he squeezed once, providing cheerfully, “Nothing to worry then,” he paused to suck in a breath, and then, “Not for another seven months that is.” With those words he stalked off.

“Vegard, no!” I shrieked, “What is that supposed to mean?”

“You will see soon enough,” he half-sang, laughing like a mad man.

I cried out after him, “You are the meanest fucker in the world.”

And, again –, “Language.”

I groaned at the wrath of the females, but Vegard’s laughter only increased. I glanced at Catherine, only to find her smirking at me knowingly. I _hated_ that, and at that moment I hated Vegard so much, I was planning my revenge on him already. Though slightly annoyed thanks to my brother, I still smirked as I continued my preparation of the lunch.

The remainder of the day passed much to my expectation, though the small annoyances and stings from Vegard and Bjarte never really managed to get to me. Vegard didn’t share Kate’s pregnancy, to my absolute relief, as I made a decision to wait until the next gathering to share the news and when I ran it by Kate she agreed wholeheartedly.

I was walking my brother back to his car, as he had been the last to stay, and I couldn’t help myself, “You know as the experienced uncle you will have the privilege to be up and about in the middle of the night if I need advice.”

“I am convinced Kate’s good nature wouldn’t allow you to disturb me,” Vegard smirked, “but even if it is not the case, I am sure I will be happy to oblige.”

“Mind your promises,” I retorted, stepping closer to hug him goodbye.

As we parted, he inquired, “When are you sharing it with the family?”

“Next week. Do you think you can keep it a secret that long?”

“I am sure I can manage.”

He slid in the driver’s seat and winking at me, he pulled off.

Once they disappeared down the street, I headed inside. Catherine was waiting for me in the living room, and when I stepped inside she gave me a lazy smile. “Are they gone?”

“Yes,” I smiled back.

“Good. Mum and Fred already went to bed, and I’ve been waiting all day to be alone with my husband,” she provided, twisting a strand of hair in between her fingers and behind her ear.

“Why’s that Mrs. Ylvisåker?” I prompted.

“Why to celebrate, Mr. Ylvisåker.”

And, at that moment, as my heart skipped a beat I knew – so long as I had her I would be happy.

I headed towards her, as she rose from her seat, and when we met halfway she entwined our fingers together, and pulled me towards the back porch. Turning her back at me, she tilted her head to look at the sky and I took it as an invitation.

I let my arms circle around my wife’s waist resting my hands on her still flat stomach, as I pressed my chest to her back, and I sagged against her frame breathing in the perfume on her neck. And, I thought – I found _my home_ at last.

 


End file.
